Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
OLIVER
I loved being with my family even though my parents were still traveling. I spent Thanksgiving morning at home with Joey. This evening, Eli was hosting a dinner at the lodge for family and those who were staying at the lodge and anyone in the community who didn't have a place to go for dinner.
Eli had recently fallen in love with Scarlett, his best friend's younger sister. He was preoccupied with the theater program in town and their budding relationship. I felt unsettled. I hadn't expected Eli to meet someone and to fall in love so quickly. To my knowledge he hadn't even been looking for anything serious.
He was happy, and I wasn't sure what to make of that. At lunch time, I was feeling off, so I reached out to Carolina despite my vow not to have contact with her in between her visits.
After her last message, I'd packed up Joey and headed to the lodge. As soon as we arrived, we were prepared for the evening meal. Eli let most of the staff off so we were in charge of serving and cleaning.
It was the first year we'd attempted to host the meal without my parents which was bittersweet. We wanted them to have a good retirement and do all the traveling they wanted to do, but we missed them.
"Will Grandma and Grandpa be back soon?" Joey asked from where he played with cars on the floor.
"I hope so. It doesn't seem the same without them."
Joey nodded in agreement.
I'd created a spreadsheet of everything that needed to be cooked and when it had to go in the oven. We had some things catered but wanted to stick with the tradition of us cooking part of the meal.
Kylie barked out directions and things to do. It was chaotic and loud, but I loved it. Everyone helped carry dishes out to a long table Eli had the staff set up earlier in the week. The catering company had brought the containers of heated food and placed them on the table with tongs for serving.
Guests were already arriving, milling around the bar, talking and socializing. It was nice, but I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if we had a true family meal. Maybe Kylie could host while our parents were out of town. The rest of us would come over, help to cook, and watch football on TV. I'd have to suggest we have a family meal earlier in the day so that we could have that moment together but not interrupt this tradition of serving the guests and the community.
Eli's best friend was the sheriff, Chance St. Claire, and he was here in casual clothes talking to various townspeople. He seemed to flourish in his community-service job. I preferred to stay in an office and not talk to anyone. But I could appreciate the work he did for us and the community.
We all sat down to eat with holiday music playing in the background.
Eli stood. "I'm thankful that everyone is together again this year. We miss our parents, our brother Killian, and our cousin, Walker. I'm grateful for this community and everyone in it. "
There were a few cheers and the clinking of glasses. Then everyone dug in.
After dessert was served, Joey curled up on my lap, and I took that as my cue to put him to bed in the upstairs condo. I didn't see the point in driving home tonight.
I tucked him into bed, then headed to the living room where I finally pulled out my phone. There hadn't been any new messages, so I reviewed our old ones. They were upbeat but something felt off, as if Carolina was saying what she felt like she should but not how she was actually feeling. I didn't know anything about her family. If something was off, I wouldn't know. It was just something I sensed.
If I hadn't thought something was wrong, I wouldn't have reached out again because this was outside the rules of our relationship.
Oliver: How was the rest of your evening?
I set the phone down and flipped on the TV to a football game. One I didn't care about. A few minutes later, my phone buzzed.
Carolina: Good. How about you?
Oliver: We served dinner at the lodge and invited the guests and anyone in the community looking for a hot meal and companionship. It's nice, but I was kind of wondering what it would be like to do a family thing in the future.
Carolina: Wow. That's such an amazing thing your family does.
Oliver: Yeah, I wouldn't want to stop the tradition .
I had a feeling I felt that way because I had Joey now, and he understood holiday traditions in a way he didn't when he was younger. I wanted him to have memories of his family too. Not just the community gathering.
Carolina: I enjoy the traditional meal too. Things were different this year.
Oliver: How so?
Carolina: It's usually just me, my mom, and my sister. But today, my sister brought her boyfriend.
Oliver: You don't like him?
Carolina: It's not that. It's just been the three of us forever, and it was different. But I'll get used to it.
That was the issue then. She felt thrown by the presence of her sister's boyfriend.
Carolina: Then they said they didn't need a traditional meal. But I think I do.
Oliver: Never feel bad for wanting different things.
Carolina: I have a feeling next year will be different. Mom will be with her new guy, and Ginny will be living with Waylon.
I video called her, needing to see her.
Her face filled the screen, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore a red sweater.
I settled into the cushions of the couch and turned down the volume of the TV. "I hope this is okay. I wanted to see your face while we talked."
Carolina smiled softly. "I don't mind."
Neither one of us mentioned our previous agreement. But I was positive it was at the forefront of our minds. We were breaking the rules. But it was Thanksgiving. A time when people were lonely and reevaluated their lives.
"You haven't mentioned your dad."
Carolina looked away. "He left when I was twelve and Ginny was seven. It was a big deal for me, but I'm not sure Ginny remembers what it’s like to have a dad that was present."
There was more to this story. "Did he leave around this time of year?"
Her face fell. "Right before Thanksgiving."
"Ah." That explained why she was struggling today. She was usually so strong and confident. I hadn't spent a lot of time with her, but I hadn't noticed her getting tripped up by anything.
"He left my mom for one of his students. He was a professor at a local college so everyone knew about it."
My stomach twisted for her. "That must have been tough."
"We held out hope for a while that he'd come back, but he was very clear with my mom that he'd already moved on and wouldn't be returning. It hurt, but I appreciated that he didn't lead us on."
"I can't believe a father would do that." I'd never do something like that to my kid.
"We saw him from time to time, but there wasn't space for us in his new apartment. He only had a one bedroom, and Mom wouldn't let us stay overnight. It was like he was pretending he didn't have kids and was available to date younger women. Like it was a game to him." She paused and shook her head. "I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. "
"You feel comfortable talking to me, and I don't know anything about the situation."
"It does make it easier. We were a source of gossip in our small town for a long time. People felt sorry for us, that our father left us for a student. It was scandalous. I tried to shield Ginny from the worst of it."
"You're a good sister."
"I think I did too good of a job because it feels like she's jumping into this new relationship, and she doesn't know if it will last."
"How does anyone know if something's going to work?" With Tina, I didn't feel like she was it for me. Her lifestyle was so different from mine, and she cared about things that I didn't. She wasn't who I would have chosen for Joey's mother.
"I just think she's moving too fast. It's a shock, I guess. But I'll get used to it. I was more upset that they didn't want a traditional Thanksgiving meal. That they'd be just as fine ordering from a restaurant."
"You don't want that." I could see the hurt on her face. This was important to her.
Her wide eyes met mine. "I wouldn't be okay with that. And I don't know what that means for future holidays."
"You have the Thanksgiving you want, and they can come or not. You can still spend time together, even if you don't share the meal."
Her shoulders lowered. "I guess. It's just not how I envisioned the holiday."
"I want the family meal too." I wasn't ready to tell her it was because of my son. I wanted him to know our family and not get lost in the large event we held at the lodge.
"I'm feeling sentimental because of the holiday. I needed to carry on our traditions when Dad left because Mom was devastated and Ginny didn't understand."
Carolina had to be the adult. That was a lot of pressure on a twelve-year-old. "I'm sorry you felt like you had to do that. That the burden fell to you."
"I never minded."
I hadn't thought much about Carolina's life outside our nights together. But the picture of her was coming into focus. She loved her family. She was loyal, caring, and kind.
Carolina sighed. "I shouldn't keep you any longer. This isn't what our relationship is."
The words about our relationship evolving got stuck in my throat. This wasn't what she wanted. And I didn't want to change the rules. "Happy Thanksgiving, Caro."
She smiled. "You too."
I hung up, wishing I could have kept her on the phone longer. She was hurting, and it was nice that she shared her past with me. But in the end, she decided that I wasn't close enough to her to continue the conversation. I had to respect her decision.
We had one more night in December, and then I probably wouldn't see her again. Carolina was a private person, and she wasn't ready for a relationship. Neither was I. I had my son to think about.
Yet it was nice to talk to someone outside of my family. Holidays could be hard for people. My heart hurt for the little girl her father walked out on. She felt the need to take care of everyone, and I sensed that she still did. That's why it stung so much when her mother and sister said they didn't need the traditional meal.
I wasn't sure what the solution was in her situation, but I didn't want her to change for anyone, including me. That's why I needed to back off. It was bittersweet getting a glimpse into her life, then knowing I needed to remove myself from the situation.
I didn't regret talking to her.
I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if Carolina lived closer. If she were interested in a relationship with me. We could spend the holiday together, have the traditional meal we both craved. But she didn't know I had a child. It might not be what she wanted.
So there was no point in wondering about the what-ifs. We had one more night, and that would have to be enough for both of us. I had a feeling Carolina was going to be the one to pull away. Her father had hurt her deeply, and it was clear she didn't trust easily. She'd taken a chance on me, but that didn't mean she wanted more. Or that she was even capable of it.
Her father had betrayed her in the worst way possible, forcing her to grow up sooner than she should have had to. And now the rest of her family was moving on too. She was lonely but still strong and independent. If she wanted to change the rules of our relationship, she could have said something. Instead, she'd gotten off the phone.
One more night would have to be enough.