Chapter 8
8
TORI
I was used to having a roommate but not one that I was pretending not to be attracted to. I was already dating Hugh when we moved in together. And Xander was supposed to be a friend.
After work, one of us would cook dinner, and on weekends, we'd make something together, order in, or go out to eat. We'd fallen into a nice rhythm, but next week the potential buyers were coming in to tour Dad's practice and interview the employees. I needed to make a move on our plan to prove to my dad I was committed to staying in Telluride.
I didn't move across the country only to move again to another town with a hospital. This was the only small town I wanted to live in.
I'd picked up groceries to make Xander a special meal. I'd butter up him before asking him to take our relationship to the next level. Not a real one, of course. Our fake relationship. Why did I feel nervous?
I planned to make a small Thanksgiving feast. It was Thursday night, so there was football on, and I wanted to create the perfect atmosphere for what I had to ask him.
I'd gotten off work early enough to get the turkey in the oven. Then I got to work on the potatoes and mac and cheese. Once the potatoes were mashed, I put the mac and cheese dish into the oven, then threw the stuffing together.
I uncorked a white wine and poured myself a glass so that I would be relaxed when it was time for Xander to come home.
When the door finally opened, I heard him kicking the snow off his boots. It took a few minutes for him to take everything off.
He came into the kitchen in his Wilde Ski Resort fleece and sweats. He looked so good, his cheeks red from the cold and his body filling out the soft material. "What' s this?"
I tried to smile, but it wavered. Would he see through me? "I thought I'd make dinner."
"You didn't have to do that." But his voice was filled with appreciation.
I shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes. "I wanted to."
He came around the counter, bracing a hip against the island.
My heart stuttered as he leaned in close and kissed my cheek. The scruff of his beard abraded my skin as he pulled away, sending a tingle down my spine. This was new, and I wasn't sure what it meant.
He eased back and took a swig of my wine. When he lowered the glass, he poured more. "Is everything okay at work?"
I blinked away the vision of his throat working to swallow the wine. That shouldn't be sexy, especially when he was just a friend. "Potential buyers are coming in next week to tour the practice."
"You're worried your dad will love one of them."
I mentally shook my head. "I think they're going to give him a large number, and he's going to make a decision based on that and not whether this doctor is right for the practice or the town."
Xander grunted. "You're the one that should be taking over the practice. This whole thing is ridiculous."
He stood so close to me that I could smell the outdoors on him. It was way more attractive than I ever thought it would be. "My dad wants the money. He sees it as a way to fund his retirement."
"I'd give my business to one of my kids. No question. There wouldn't be a need for them to prove themselves." There was a bitterness in his voice.
I frowned. "Is everything okay with your family?"
Xander shook his head. "Eli heard about our living situation from Oliver and wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing."
That caused me to pause. Was it my imagination, or were his cheeks tinged pink? Was he embarrassed? "Why would Eli be concerned about me living with you?"
"He just likes to get in my business."
"Maybe it's time for us to take this relationship to the next level," I said haltingly.
He placed his hand on the counter and angled his body so that he was turned toward me. I couldn't breathe without sucking in air that smelled like him. His presence in this tiny kitchen was overwhelming. "What did you have in mind?"
"We talked about moving from friendship to a fake relationship. I think we should get on that. Why wait? Our families aren't going to take us seriously until we can prove that you can commit to someone and that I'm determined to stay in town."
Xander huffed. "First of all, I think that any relationship should start out as friendship, so I don't think we need to move away from our friendship to a relationship."
"That wasn't what I meant. Not exactly." But I was intrigued that he was so intent on having a friendship with anyone he dated. "Besides, this wouldn't be real."
He frowned. "Right."
"This is what we talked about. Are you having second thoughts?"
"Of course not. This is what we both need. I just thought we'd have more time."
"The buyers are coming next week," I gently reminded him.
Xander nodded. "But how will this look?"
"I hadn't thought about the details." My voice wavered slightly when I thought about having to hold his hand in public or even kiss him. How would I survive the closeness that a relationship would require? Surely he'd notice my crush.
"I would think we'd need to be seen in public on dates, and since we've been going out to eat, now we have to hold hands, be more affectionate. Maybe even kiss."
My stomach fluttered at the image of Xander kissing me. "I think you're right."
"Are you okay with us touching and kissing?" Xander asked, his voice lowering an octave.
My body felt like it was on fire, and I was fairly positive it wasn't just the heat of the oven that had been on for the last couple of hours. "That's the plan, right?"
"I just want to make sure you're still okay with this arrangement. We don't have to go through with it."
"How else will I prove to my dad that I'm here to stay? I think he's bracing for me to say I'm going back to Hugh and moving to New York. He doesn't trust me anymore, and I can't blame him. I already broke one promise."
"And I need to show my family that I can take something seriously. It's a relationship that they will believe."
I grabbed serving spoons and moved the dishes to the table. "Why's that?"
"Because we've always been friends, even if we lost touch for a bit there. It makes sense."
I grabbed plates and silverware. "But if you've never been in a serious relationship, why would they believe you are now?"
Xander sighed. "They've always wondered if something was going on between us."
I carefully set the table, not able to look him in the eye. "I've heard the rumors too, but we never did anything to feed them."
Xander grabbed the two wine glasses and the bottle. "This will be easy for them to understand. It makes sense. You're back for the first time in years, we rekindle our friendship, and realize there's something more there and probably has been for a long time. I was jealous of your boyfriend, and now that you're broken up, I could finally make my move."
We sat across from each other, and I started serving myself the food. "It sounds like you've thought about this a lot."
He shrugged. "There's not much else to do out there on the slopes."
This was going over better than I thought. I suspected I'd need to convince him, but he was on the same page as me. We both felt the pressure to move forward with this plan and prove to everyone that we were in Telluride to stay.
"It's a little crazy that we have to go to these extremes to prove to everyone we're serious about working in our families' businesses."
"You broke your father's trust, and I've never been particularly serious about anything." He placed quotes around the word serious.
I always thought Xander was big-hearted, someone who'd do anything for anyone. I never thought of him as irresponsible. But his brothers never gave him much responsibility, or maybe that was his parents. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. He rose or fell to their expectations. I reached across the table and covered his hand with mine. "You deserve to work in your family's business. You love working with people and at the resort."
"If only my brothers saw it that way."
"They have to." Xander was such a good person. I hated that he was struggling with his family. I squeezed his hand before pulling away. "We'll make this convincing."
"Thanks for doing this."
I shrugged as I cut the turkey into smaller pieces. "This is a mutually beneficial relationship. We both get something out of it."
We ate in silence for a few minutes. "I can't believe this all started because of the pact we made as kids. Who knew it would bring us here? Living together, pretending to date."
"If we're pretend dating, you won't be able to meet anyone else before our thirtieth birthdays."
I laughed but without any humor. "Then we'll just have to abide by the pact." I felt hot, then cold all over. I was having trouble being his roommate. I'd never survive it if we were sleeping in the same bed. Surely, it would only heighten my awareness of him.
We finished eating and then cleaned up. Xander went into the living room and put on the football game. I hovered in the doorway, unsure of what I should do. We'd already discussed our arrangement. There was nothing for me to do.
Xander waved me over to the couch. "We need to practice this relationship thing if we want it to be believable."
My heart rate kicked up. "What did you have in mind?"
He patted the cushion next to him. "Sit next to me."
I sat gingerly on the edge of the cushion, and Xander said, "Scoot back. I won't bite."
That sent a shiver down my spine. I complied, and when I moved, the couch naturally tipped me in Xander's direction. I ended up pressed against his side, and his arm came around me. I was enveloped with his scent and by his hard body.
"That's better," Xander said, his voice cool and unaffected while my heart was thumping hard. Could he hear it? Could he feel my pulse pounding through my veins?
I couldn't relax even though he'd put on a football game.
His entire body shook when he laughed at one of the commercials. I couldn't bring myself to focus on anything but his thigh, which was pressed against mine, and the heavy weight of his arm over my shoulder.
Eventually, he looked down at me. "You don't like this one?"
I attempted to smile. I thought he was talking about the movie. "It's fine."
"If you're not okay with this, we can back out. Any time. I don't mind. I'll figure something else out."
I shook my head, realizing he meant the touching. "We have to do this."
He frowned. "What if it's too much?"
"It's weird because we've always been friends. It'll take some time to get used to the change. We just have to do this more often." How many more nights could I sit next to him on the couch and pretend that his proximity didn't affect me? My skin felt too tight.
His gaze fell to my lips, and my heart raced in my chest. Was he going to suggest that we practice kissing? I couldn't take any more advances tonight. I was already in over my head.
"More nights like this one. I can do that." His voice was soft, but I felt it everywhere. Then he nodded toward the TV. "This is the best part. They almost kiss."
My cheeks flamed as I turned my attention to the TV. This time, I couldn't look away as the main characters danced to the music, moving closer and closer, until their lips were almost touching. Then someone interrupted them, and they pulled back. It was almost worse watching this play out on the screen. It only made me more aware of how close we were sitting. I didn't think Xander even realized it, but his fingers were playing absentmindedly with the ends of my hair.
Each time he moved a finger through my hair, a tingle ran down my neck. My nipples hardened under the lace material of my bra. We were too close. It felt like there was a heavy weight on my chest, and I couldn't draw in a deep breath.
When the credits finally rolled, I jumped up, away from the heat of his body. I felt overly warm, as if I was getting a fever. "I'm exhausted. I think I'll head to bed."
Xander just raised a brow as I moved around the room, straightening the snowboarding magazines on the coffee table. When everything was orderly, I said too brightly. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Night, Tori," Xander said softly as I practically ran to my bedroom and shut the door. My heart was thumping, and my breath came in short pants. What was wrong with me? I couldn't even be in the same room as my best friend anymore? What was it about moving in together that made everything more heightened? I wouldn't survive practicing to be in a relationship. It was too much, especially when he sat there all cool and unaffected.
Since I'd returned to town, I hadn't reached out to any of my other friends. It was time to talk to some girlfriends. I couldn't stay in this bubble in Xander's house without losing my mind. I texted my friend, Noelle.
Tori: Hey, I'm back in town and wanted to try and get together if you're free.
Noelle: Yay! I'd love to catch up sometime.
Tori: You want to go out for drinks tomorrow?
Normally, I would have suggested lunch, but I couldn't stay in this apartment with Xander for a minute longer or I was going to confess everything to him. This arrangement was driving me crazy, and I was fairly sure I was in lust with him. But I knew if I told him how I felt, this thing between us would be over.
Xander never had a serious relationship with anyone. Why would he start with me? He wouldn't want to ruin our friendship anymore than I did. I just needed to get through this, secure my father's trust and hopefully his practice. Then we could split amicably and move on with our lives. We'd have our dream jobs, and we could go back to being just friends.
Why did the thought make me sad?