Chapter 9
9
XANDER
W hen Tori said that she was going out with her friend Noelle for drinks, I called my brothers to see if they wanted to play pool tonight. We frequently got together to hang out at the lodge. Eli thought it looked good for us to be seen together in the lodge, enjoying the amenities, and I just needed a night out of that apartment.
I never realized how small it was until Tori moved in. One more reason to talk to a realtor and get moving on a new place. Maybe things wouldn't feel so tight. We'd have more square footage, more than one bathroom, and maybe some property so that I could go outside and take a walk when things were too much.
Right now, the walls seemed to be closing in on me, and I couldn't escape her scent, especially in the shower. I couldn't help but stroke one out every time I was in there. I was positive that Tori was going to realize that I'd been crushing on her this whole time and freak out.
She'd probably move out, rendering our arrangement null and void. I had to play things cool. I just wasn't sure how to do that.
I stood at the high table, nursing my warm beer while Oliver and Eli duked it out. My head wasn't in the right place for a pool game.
It felt good to get out of my house. Now if I could just get out of my head too.
Eli approached the high-top table while Oliver made his move. "What's going on with you?"
My pulse picked up. "What do you mean?"
"You seem—" Eli scrutinized me. "Jittery."
"I'm not jittery." I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin, not something I experienced when I was on the slopes, but it was a common occurrence in school where I was expected to sit still for long periods of time.
Eli raised a brow. "How are things going with the new roommate?"
That made my heart skip a beat. Did Eli know that we'd gotten closer and cuddled on the couch last night? Did he know I wanted to kiss her while we were talking? That I had to force my attention on the TV or I was going to follow through with my desires? "Fine."
Eli smirked. "How is it having a female roommate when you bring women home?"
I was momentarily confused. "I never bring women back to my apartment."
"You always go to theirs?" He nodded. "Smart."
"That's not the case either." Was it worth trying to change his mind, or was it too late? The damage had already been done, and Eli thought he knew who I was as a person.
Eli shrugged. "You get a hotel room each time? Hey, man, I'm not judging, just trying to get a picture for how things are with a female roommate who's just a friend."
Was that sarcasm I detected in his voice? "I don't get a hotel room. What kind of a guy do you think I am?"
"You have a certain reputation for being a ladies' man. Nothing wrong with that."
"There must be something wrong with it because you've said I can't commit to anyone or anything, and it's a problem for my job here." I was irritated now.
Eli frowned. "That's not what I meant."
"Let's get one thing straight. I don't take women home to their place or a hotel room. If I date, I go outside of town so I don't have to deal with gossip."
Eli frowned. "Everyone says you're constantly picking women up."
I let out a breath. "It doesn't matter what I say or do; you're going to believe the rumor mill over me."
Oliver approached us. "Hey, brother, it's your turn."
When Eli walked away, Oliver asked, "What was that about? It looked intense."
I waved a hand as if it was nothing new. "Eli was just accusing me of being a man whore."
Oliver blanched.
It shouldn't have been a big deal, but I was angry. "He shouldn't listen to small-town gossip. Almost none of the rumors about me are true. I've let these rumors persist. I never cared to clear any of them up before now."
Eli returned to the table, throwing back his beer.
I felt a little light headed, but it was time to tell my brothers about our relationship. "I told Tori I liked her."
"How'd she take it?" Eli asked.
"She was surprised but admitted she'd always harbored a crush too."
Eli grinned. "I knew it. Guys can't be friends with girls. It's just not possible."
"Don't be an ass. I've always been friends with Tori, but things became different when we moved in together. We couldn't avoid our feelings any longer." I didn't like Eli's implication that our friendship wasn't real when it was the most important thing in the world to me. Especially since I lost it for a few years. I wouldn't take it for granted again.
Eli nodded. "That apartment is small. I could see how you'd be forced to figure things out."
I couldn't afford for Tori to find out the depth of my feelings for her. It would only freak her out and have her running in the opposite direction.
Last night, I made her uncomfortable by sitting next to her on the couch. That doesn't bode well for our fake relationship, much less the possibility of a real one.
"I'm not trying to piss you off, but you don't usually take things so seriously."
I sighed. "Isn't that the problem? I've let these rumors persist, let you think whatever you wanted about me, and now you're convinced that I'm not fit for a job. But the thing is, you don't know me at all, and it's my fault."
"If we read things wrong over the years, we're sorry," Eli said carefully.
I rolled my shoulders back, wondering if I should have kept my mouth shut. "I just wanted to tell you what was real and what wasn't."
"We appreciate that," Oliver said.
But I knew that I hadn't convinced them of anything. They needed to see a change to believe it. I wasn't so sure I could alter the town's opinion of me, but I could possibly sway my brother's.
Oliver took his turn at the pool table, leaving me and Eli alone.
"Why not clear up the rumors years ago?" Eli asked.
"It felt hopeless. I can't change people's minds." So why was I attempting to change my brothers' now?
I watched the end of their game, the nervous energy never dissipating. I wasn't sure I'd made any headway with my brothers. Maybe they were questioning everything they knew to be true, but I wasn't so sure about that. It would be difficult to remove their preconceived notions about me.
A t home, the apartment was dark. Was Tori still out with her friends?
Xander: You need me to pick you up?
I waited a few minutes, and when there wasn't a response, clicked on the TV. I watched an action movie without taking anything in. It was mindless background noise. I couldn't stop my brain from replaying the conversation with my brothers.
Had they believed me? Would they ever? Did Tori see the real me? The questions played on an endless cycle in my head.
When my phone finally buzzed, I jumped.
Tori: I could use an escort.
Xander: Where are you?
Tori: That new bar. I can't think of the name.
Xander: I know the one.
The town was so small; there wasn't anything I didn't know.
Xander. Don't move. I'm coming.
Tori: Promises. Promises.
I didn't have time to contemplate the innuendo because I needed to make sure Tori got home okay. I threw on a jacket and grabbed my keys.
I walked the few blocks to the new wine bar, seeing Tori with Noelle through the window. Noelle had done some holiday decorating at the lodge, and growing up, her mother was a maid at the inn, so we frequently saw her around the resort.
I pulled open the door, relishing the warmth inside. I walked the short distance to their high-top table. "Ladies."
Noelle smiled, her eyes glassy. "Xander."
She said my name like it was ten syllables. My gaze swung to Tori, who giggled. These girls were drunk. "Do I need to settle your tab?"
Tori waved in the general direction of the bar, so I moved toward it, intending to pay it. When the bartender nodded in my direction, I asked, "Do Noelle and Tori have a tab?"
"They paid up thirty minutes ago. They're nursing waters."
"Thanks, man. I appreciate that." I didn't know this bartender.
At the girls' table, I said, "Come on. I'll walk you home."
"I'll get a car since I'm outside of town." Noelle fumbled with her phone.
"I'll do it." I plucked her phone out of her hands and worked the app. "It will be here in two minutes. Let's wait outside."
I assisted Noelle with her coat first. She moved toward the front door while I helped Tori. Somehow her elbow connected with my stomach, knocking the wind out of me.
Tori turned and placed a palm on my chest. "Sorry, big guy."
I took her elbow and steered her in the direction of the exit. "Come on. Let's get you home."
"I'm not drunk," Tori pouted.
"Sure you aren't," I mumbled under my breath.
Tori's eyes softened as she walked slowly next to me. "It was so nice to be out with friends."
"I bet." I wondered if true friends were harder to come by in the city. I suspected they were.
"I missed Noelle, you, this town."
"We're happy to have you back," I said to her as I pushed open the door. She walked out ahead of me, joining Noelle on the sidewalk.
Noelle blew out a breath when she saw us. "I have to be up early tomorrow."
Tori nodded as if she knew what she was talking about. "To make donuts."
"You’re not the baker of the donuts in the deli, are you?" I asked her, checking the app periodically to see where the driver was.
She nodded. "That’s me.”
"They’re amazing. I have to get up early or they sell out.” I was happy to support Noelle. Growing up, we knew they had it harder than us. Her mother was single, and she had four children and worked as a maid to support herself. She worked at the lodge and cleaned houses on the side to pick up extra money.
But I didn't think I ever thought about Noelle's life outside of the resort. Had she gone to college? Was she able to get a scholarship like the one we'd given to Oliver's babysitter, Maeve, so she could attend school? When the car arrived, I checked the license plate with the app and verified the driver's name when he stepped out to get her door.
"Have a good night. Drink some water and take pain medicine. It'll help with the hangover."
"Thanks, Xander." Noelle hugged Tori tight. "It was good to see you. Don't be a stranger."
Tori bounced on her toes, probably to ward off the cold. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'd love to get together more often."
We waited while Noelle got into the car, and the driver pulled away. Then Tori slipped her hand around my elbow. "Thanks for rescuing us."
I chuckled at her words as we headed in the direction of my—no, our —apartment. "I'm just escorting you home."
"You came as soon as I asked."
I frowned at that. "Of course I did. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"I could never count on Hugh to be there. He was always busy. I thought he was working, but he was probably sticking his dick into some nurse."
"I'm sorry your ex was such an ass and couldn't see what he had." I was confident he would realize it eventually.
She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm happy to be rid of him. Walking into that room, seeing him with another woman, was the best thing that could have happened. Now I'm home where I always wanted to be."
"You would have walked away eventually. He wasn't the man you wanted or needed."
She smiled. "I like that."
"It's the truth."
She swayed into my side. "How did I get so lucky to have a friend like you?"
"Not many guys lining up to pretend to date you so that you can get your daddy's practice?" I teased. Despite the dip in my stomach at her words, I had to remember I was just a friend, nothing more.
"Not a one," Tori said as she erupted into giggles.
She was still drunk, and I was very much sober. "I'd do anything for you, Tori."
"I'm starting to see that," Tori said softly.
I was fairly positive she wouldn't remember that declaration in the morning.
We'd reached our apartment, and I gestured for her to ascend the steps ahead of me. I watched her carefully so I could catch her if she fell.
When she got to the door, she tried and failed to unlock it. I took the key from her and turned the deadbolt.
"You make everything look so easy," Tori cried as she walked into the apartment.
"That's how it is when you're sober," I deadpanned.
"Are you drunk shaming me?" Tori asked as she stumbled into the kitchen.
"Of course not." I closed and locked the door, then rushed to get her a glass of water and some pain pills. "Take these so you don't feel like shit in the morning."
Thankfully she didn't protest, swallowing the pills and drinking most of the water.
"I want to take a bath," Tori said as if she didn't have a care in the world.
"I don't think that's a good idea." I hurried after her as she lifted her sweater and threw it over her shoulder.
I peeled it off my face, noticing she only wore a bra underneath. At the doorway to the bathroom, she paused long enough to push her jeans over her hips and kick them to the side.
That left her in nothing but a lace bra and panty set. All black. The small strip of material disappeared between two perfect ass cheeks. The heat flooded my body, my blood draining south.
When she unhooked her bra, l let my head fall back. Help me, God. The only way I'd get through tonight was remembering that she was drunk, and I couldn't take advantage of her. She was still upset about her ex and drinking to cover the pain. She didn't need a new man in her life. Not a real one anyway. The fake would have to do for a while, and I could be a good fake boyfriend.
I carefully folded her clothes and placed them on the counter in the bathroom.
She turned on the water, squirting body wash into the stream, then turned to face me.
Her breasts were large and full, her nipples hard. Her waist nipped in, then curved out over her hips. She was gorgeous, so much better than I imagined.
There was so much soft skin on display; I wanted to reach out and touch it. "You can't get into the tub."
Her grin slid off her face, and her forehead creased. "Why not?" Then her fingers caught on the sides of her thong, and she grinned. "Silly me. I forgot my panties."
There was a roaring in my ears as she slowly lowered her panties, kicking them into the air. They flew past my ear, but I was frozen in place. I averted my gaze, guessing she was going to regret undressing in front of me tomorrow. My heart was beating out of control, and my thoughts had slowed to a churn.
There was a beautiful naked woman in my bathroom, who didn't have a care in the world because she was drunk. She never would have stripped in front of me otherwise.
I tried to remember that as she stepped into the tub, then sank into the steaming water. "Oh, this feels so good."
Is that how she sounded when she had an orgasm, when she was in the throes of passion? My cock was hard, aching for me to shed my clothes and climb in behind her. But I wouldn't. I didn't take advantage of inebriated women.
Tori threw a hand over the edge of the tub. "Can you hand me a washcloth?"
"Yeah." My throat was dry. I grabbed a washcloth from the closet and threw it in the direction of the tub. My hands were trembling. "I'll be outside if you need me."
Tori sank into the tub so that her head was resting against the edge. "Can you soap me up?"
Her eyes were closed so I moved closer, sinking my knees onto the bathmat, then squirting some body wash onto the washcloth. "Are you sure you want me to do this?"
Her eyes drifted closed. "Please, Xan. I'm so tired."
She was practically asleep, and she wanted me to do this one thing for her. I could do it and not look at anything I was touching. I started with her knee which was peeking out of the water.
"I can barely feel your touch. I'm so dirty, Xan. I need you to clean me up."
I chuckled, the sound dark. "I'm better at dirtying girls up. Not cleaning them."
Tori's lips twitched. "I bet you are."
I used more pressure as I soaped up her legs, then her feet. Then her knees fell apart. "I need you."
She needed me to wash her, not to relieve the ache between her legs. I washed her inner thighs, hoping she wouldn't think I was taking advantage of her. I was doing what she asked me to do. Her body jerked and my hand landed on her pussy. She moaned and arched into my touch. "Oh, that feels so good."
I couldn't resist rubbing her there until she was writhing against me. When I went to move away, her eyes flew open, and her hand clamped around my wrist. "Don't stop."
"Are you sure?" I asked her, knowing that this wasn't something that friends or even roommates did for each other. But her eyes were clear as if she’d sobered up since I initially saw her at the bar.
She licked her lips. "I need this. I need you."
I tried not to let those words permeate my soul because they were exactly what I wanted to hear. I threw aside the washcloth and used my fingers to separate her folds. Her body melted farther into the tub, and she moaned as I continued to work her over. When my finger slid inside, I sucked one pert nipple into my mouth. This was beyond what she'd asked me to do, but I couldn't resist. My cock was pressing against the zipper of my jeans, begging to be let out.
I scraped my teeth over one nipple, soothing it with my tongue, then moved to the other. Her hips were moving in time with my fingers that were mimicking what my cock wanted to be doing to her.
I wasn't so lost in the moment that I didn't realize we were crossing a line, one that we shouldn't. This was a bad idea, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Not in the moment. Not when she was still gripping my arm as if she was afraid I'd stop.
I briefly wondered if this qualified as me taking advantage of her, but I had no intention of going further than giving her an orgasm.
I wanted to be the one who took care of her. Her body tightened around me, then arched as she went over. She gripped my arm more tightly, and I continued to move my fingers inside of her through her orgasm.
Her body was flushed a gorgeous pink from the combination of warm water and my efforts. She opened her eyes slowly and let go of my arm. "That was?—"
I removed my fingers from her warm pussy, drying my hands on a towel. "I hope it felt good."
"So good," she said softly.
"I hope you don't regret that in the morning." I held a towel for her as she stepped out and wrapped it around her.
"I might."
"You have nothing to feel guilty about. You needed a release, and I gave it to you."
She turned to face me, gripping the towel. "But we're friends and roommates."
It hadn't escaped my notice that we'd been intimate, but I hadn't kissed her. "It's not a big deal." It was a huge deal for me. But for us, I could ignore it if it meant we could keep our friendship.
Her hand dropped from the towel to my belt buckle. "Can I return the favor?"
I stepped back. "You were drinking. I don't want to do anything more tonight."
Her lower lip protruded.
"I'll get some water." I couldn't be in that room with her after what we'd just shared. It had been a huge step forward for me. I'd enjoyed every minute of it, but would she even remember it in the morning?