CHAPTER 3
EDEN
“Come on, Champ,” my dad holds his hand out to Macklin who is bouncing on the balls of his feet. I giggle at how excited he is. “We need to do man things and grab some feed.”
Macklin looks up at Dad with wide eyes, “Is that what we feed the cows?”
“Yup,” Dad responds and grins at my son.
This. This is why I came back here. My son deserves to have a man in his life, even if it’s his grandfather and not his father. He deserves to know love and to be in a place where his questions can be answered and his interests fostered.
Rhode Island was nice, don’t get me wrong, and I had a few friends there, but it wasn’t the support system I needed. I couldn’t give my son the kind of childhood I had growing up. It was killing me every day knowing I wasn’t doing the best for my son.
After being home for only a few days, it’s painfully clear that this is the right place for Mack. He comes alive under the attention and love of my parents. Even though it’s cold outside, he doesn’t seem to mind as long as he’s allowed to trail after Dad and learn about the ranch.
Dad doesn’t mind having a little shadow at all. They’re pretty damn adorable together too.
My heart lurches in my chest; this was the kind of love I wish Mack had in his life right from the start. David did try, at least at first. I was even able to convince myself that he was going to be a great father to our son whether we worked out in a relationship or not.
That’s not how it went down at all.
I’ve shown him a few pictures of David holding him when he was first born, but the thought of telling my son about his dad sticking around for a year and then bailing is painful as hell. My boy deserved so much more than that.
I’m going to make sure he gets it.
“I’ll grab everything on Mom’s list,” I tell Dad, and he grins.
“See, Mack? Your mom is going to take care of the food so we can focus on the ranch stuff,” Dad’s eyes are dancing with amusement, and his voice is filled with excitement.
Macklin picks up on it immediately, as if he needed any encouragement to be a big ball of energy. He turns his little face up to me with a huge smile that takes over his face. “Bye, Mama, we got man stuff to deal with.”
I giggle and give a wave, but he’s already grabbed Dad’s hand and is pulling him through the store without having a single clue if he’s going in the right direction. I watch them with a smile on my face and a feeling of rightness settles over me. It’s impossible to deny what I know is true—I should have come home years ago.
But the important thing is that I’m here now.
As I look around Wintervale’s Country Store, it doesn’t look like much has changed. I wasn’t really expecting it to, but it’s nice to have that feeling of normalcy as I settle back into life here. There’s comfort in knowing the aisles in this store are still set up the way they were years ago.
I pull the list Mom gave me out of my pocket and take a quick look before starting to do the shopping. As good as it feels to be off the ranch and in town, part of me is constantly looking over my shoulder and waiting for someone from the past to pop up out of nowhere.
So far, I haven’t come across anyone. I’m sure the fact that I’ve been hiding out at my parent’s house and haven’t ventured into town before now helped. Until now.
Now that I’m in the heart of Wintervale, it feels like it’s just a matter of time before I come across someone I know from when my entire life existed here.
“Maybe I should have visited more often, or at all,” I mumble to myself as I check the last few things off the list I was given.
It was just too painful to come home, especially after Fletcher and I broke up. Before then, and after really, I was afraid that if I came home to visit then I’d never leave.
I owed it to Fletcher to do exactly what he told me to do and follow my dreams. He sacrificed so much, and we lost out on the love between us because he wanted to see me happy and living my dreams.
It was silly and na?ve of me to think that life for Fletcher could involve leaving Wintervale. I really did believe it was possible though, especially my first year of school. There were so many nights when I would wake up from a dream filled with Fletcher showing up on campus with all his belongings. Dream Fletcher would tell me how much he couldn’t live without me and was moving to Rhode Island to be with me.
It’s not like I didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to magically appear in Rhode Island and change his whole future to follow me. His responsibilities laid with Limitless Ranch. I always knew it.
Sometimes I thought about leaving school and going back to Wintervale. As much as I loved it at school, and I did, there were times when I felt like I didn’t belong. Whenever I had those thoughts, I remembered how Fletcher put aside his own desires for me to stick around and encouraged me. It was enough for me to stay at school.
And then we broke up.
The reality is that we were broken long before that happened.
Fear grips me at the thought of seeing Fletcher married and happy now. I don’t know anything about his life anymore; it was better for me to not know. I swore my parents to secrecy when it came to the life of the guy who I’ve loved my entire life.
Even though I didn’t hear anything about how the last 13 years have gone for Fletcher, that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about and wondered about him every day. I have. He’s like a specter who walks through life with me.
My fear of being assaulted with memories of him kept me away from my hometown. Even now, all these years later, those memories are trying to creep in on me.
I’m pretty sure if I look close enough, I can see the younger version of me walking through the aisle in front of me with Fletcher by her side. We’d stop by this store most days to grab some candy after school.
I was so full of dreams back then, so full of hope. That girl had no idea what it would feel like to miss someone so deeply there are times when I can’t breathe.
The air shifts around me slightly and my head snaps up. Standing there, at the end of the aisle looking like he’s just seen a ghost, is Fletcher Burns.
My eyes soak him up. He’s gotten taller, which I didn’t even know was possible because he was tall the last time I saw him. Or maybe he’s gotten broader and more imposing, and it makes it feel like he’s taller? I don’t know. His hair is longer on top than the sides and his dark eyes are moving over my body.
But it’s not the fact that Fletcher is looking at me after so many years which has my blood singing through my veins. It’s the look of pure hunger in his eyes. I want to run away just as much as I want to run toward him and jump into his arms.
Having Fletcher wrap his arms around me was always the best. Now his arms look even stronger. He’s clearly spent the last 13 years working at Limitless, just like he always planned.
Why does my tongue feel so thick in my mouth? My lungs start to burn, reminding me that I should breathe. But how can I breathe when the guy I remember and have loved for so long is standing in front of me, but has now transformed into a man?
My gaze flits down to his hands to find them clenched at his sides. What I don’t see is a wedding ring on his finger. I shouldn’t feel relief sweeping through me at the sight, but it does.
He’s standing as if he wants to stalk closer to me but is holding himself back. There isn’t a single part of me that doesn’t want his control to snap.
“Fletcher,” I whisper and the tension between us grows.
We take a step closer to each other at the same time, like we can’t help it, like we’re drawn to each other. Even after all these years.
It’s a heady feeling. I feel lightheaded and a little off-kilter. Fainting in the middle of the general store would not be a good look, or a good first impression on the man in front of me.
Would it even be a first impression since we’ve known each other our whole lives except for the last 13 years? It feels like it’s been a lifetime and no time at all. How is that even possible?
“Eden?” Fletcher blinks a few times, like he can’t believe I’m standing right in front of him. He shakes his head as if to clear it.
My heart pounds in my chest and I want to ask so many questions, ones I don’t deserve the answers to. Has he imagined seeing me again? Has he wanted to? Has he missed me as much as I’ve missed him? Has he regretted everything that happened in the past and all the ways our lives took us in opposite directions?
Just like I have?
I clear my throat, my mouth feeling dryer than it ever has in my whole damn life. I don’t even know what to say. I feel turtled. Yup, that’s me, the turtle who has their little legs kicking in the air while hoping someone comes along and turns it right side up.
It’s possible I start to nod? Because I am Eden, and he said my name more like a question than a statement. We take another step toward each other at the same time.
He’s so close and yet so far away. I don’t like it. I want him closer. The memories of how it feels to be pressed up against him fill my head. There’s not a doubt in my mind that it would feel even better now than it did back then.
The last 13 years have been kind to Fletcher. Very kind. At least from the outside.
“How-,” I start my attempt to cobble together some sort of sentence, but I’m interrupted.
“Mama!” Macklin’s voice feels like an atomic bomb going off in the middle of Wintervale’s Country Store. Fletcher’s eyes widen and my heart fucking drops as I spin toward my son who is looking so happy and eager as he bounds toward me. “I helped Gramps with the feed,” he sounds so damn proud of himself.
I crouch down and scoop him up in my arms while turning tentatively toward Fletcher. If I didn’t know any better, and maybe I do, I’d swear Fletcher’s eyes are glassy with tears. Fucking hell.
“You got all the big manly stuff done with Gramps?” Is my voice trembling with every word? Yeah, it definitely is.
How in the world did I forget all about Macklin being here with me today? Dad steps up next to me and rests his hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. I should have asked more questions over the years about Fletcher and how he’s doing.
It’s not really possible that he’s still single. Is it? He’s probably married with a whole ranch full of kids by now.
And all I have is Macklin, and my tail tucked between my legs because I ran back home while the illusions of my dreams evaporated around me.
Macklin, totally oblivious in a way only a three-year-old can be, waves and flashes Fletcher, who is paler than he was moments ago, a huge grin. “Hi. I’m Macklin. I’m three. Who are you?”
Fletcher clears his throat. Then does it again. After the third time he’s able to croak out, “It’s nice to meet you little man, I’m Fletcher.”
Mack’s eyebrows furrow together, and he looks at me. “Fletcher? Like the hero in all the bedtime stories you tell me?”
“Yeah,” I murmur, my throat trying to close up on me, “just like the hero in those stories.”
“Huh,” Macklin hum and then wiggles to be let down, which I comply with.
“It was nice seeing you again, Eden. Walter,” Fletcher clips roughly before turning on his heel and practically sprinting out of the store.
I don’t even think. I shove the basket in my hands at Dad, knowing he’ll take care of Macklin and make some sort of excuse. I spot Fletcher as he starts to round the front of a truck which looks a lot newer than the one that he was rolling around in when we were together.
“Fletcher,” I call out his name and am a little surprised when he immediately stops. I’ve never walked faster in my life; the only reason I don’t run is because it would draw too much attention. Knowing this town, I’ve already caught plenty by calling out to him.
As my mouth falls open, Fletcher holds his hand up to stop me. There’s a hard edge to his voice, “You don’t owe me anything, Eden.”
“Yes,” I breathe out, “I do.” I wring my hands together, barely able to look him in the eye. “I’m not even sure why I feel the need to explain, but if there is anyone in this world who deserves to know the truth about the situation, without any bullshit and before you can make up some story or explanation, it’s you.”
“Fine,” he grits out through clenched teeth and folds his arms across his chest as he leans against the side of his truck.
Everything in me wants to glance around, but I force myself to take a step closer to Fletcher and ignore everything else. If people are watching, let them watch. I can’t care about that right now, not with the way the only man I’ve ever loved is looking at me with sadness and suspicion swirling in his dark eyes.
“It took me years to even think about dating after that day,” I swallow hard, not even able to bring myself to clarify. He’ll know what day I’m talking about anyway. The way his eyes flash shows me just how right I am. “I tried to date here and there, but it wasn’t right. It was never right. I thought about coming back here so many times, but it felt like I’d be letting you down if I did. You always pushed me to go after my dreams. So, I put my head down and that’s what I did. I’ve built a good client list designing book covers and doing other graphic design work, mostly for authors.”
Even though he’s hurt and fuming, Fletcher grants me a look filled with pride. “Good for you, Eden.”
“Macklin is three, which he already said.” I shake my head, trying to stave off the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. “He’s the result of a one-night stand. I thought the right thing to do was to tell the guy. We tried being together for a little while. It was never-,” I cut myself off and swallow hard. “One day I woke up to him gone and papers signing over his parental rights to my son. I haven’t seen or heard from him in years. It was a mistake, but I love my son. He’s the reason I came back. He deserves to have the kind of childhood I had, and it was past time for me to come home.”
Fletcher looks at me for a long time before he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Welcome home, Eden,” he murmurs before climbing in his truck and pulling away.
I stand there and stare after his truck, long after the taillights have disappeared, until Dad and Mack come out of the store, and I have no other choice but to get myself together. I’m not sure if that went just how I feared it would or if it were even worse.
It was destined to happen at some point, but I would have been more than happy to put it off for a little while longer.