CHAPTER 8
FLETCHER
Waking up wrapped around Eden is how I want to start every morning. It felt right in a way I haven’t experienced in far too long. But I don’t have to think about all that time when I was alone and the hole in my soul was unbearable. She’s back now.
Even though I wanted to stay in bed with her, I also wanted to take care of her and Macklin. There’s no doubt in my mind that Eden has been doing everything for Macklin and rarely stopped to do anything for herself. Now that she’s home, now that we’re figuring this thing out between us, I’m going to show up and put her first. Eden and Macklin.
We could go over to the house for breakfast, but I don’t want to share my little family, which is what they are, with my brothers. Not this morning. I want it to be just us. I need new memories of my woman. I want to build some with Macklin.
I’m mixing up some pancake batter when I hear small feet coming down the hallway. I turn just as Macklin walks into the kitchen while rubbing his eyes. I grin at the adorable matching pajamas he’s wearing. The bag Eden grabbed held pajamas and an outfit for Macklin today along with a change of clothes for herself.
Yesterday when I asked if she had everything she needed when Macklin couldn’t keep his eyes open, she had a shy smile on her face. “I’ve learned to be prepared,” she assured me while pointing to the bag. “I always have a few changes of clothes for Mack and one for me. I learned that the hard way.”
“Good morning, Fletcher,” Macklin’s eyes brighten when he sees me next to the stove.
“Morning, Mack.” I nod toward where he came from. “Do you need help with anything?”
“Nope,” he chirps. “I already peed. I’m three, I can do it myself,” he sounds almost affronted to be asked which is adorable as hell. I arch my eyebrow at him, unsure if I should ask the most obvious follow up question, but Macklin sighs, “I washed my hands too.”
“Good job, buddy.” He grins at me and moves closer. “I’m making pancakes. Your mama used to love pancakes, does she still?”
“Who doesn’t love pancakes?” He gives me a look of pure bewilderment that only a kid can pull off. “I love them.”
“I wanted to do something nice for your mom. I bet she’s always making you breakfast and taking care of you,” I point out gently.
“She is.” He nods solemnly. When I pick him up, he sits on the counter quietly for a moment, but I can practically see the wheels in his head turning. His voice is small when he asks, “Do you love Mama, Fletcher?”
If I were drinking something, I’d be spitting it across the room. Thankfully, I’m not, but my hands shake slightly as my nerves get the better of me. This feels like a big conversation. I’m not sure where the lines are or how to make sure Macklin understands.
“You probably figured out your mom and I grew up together?” He nods, watching me solemnly. “At first, we were best friends, but when we got older, we fell in love. I wanted your mom to be able to follow all of her dreams, but I needed to stay here. Even though it hurt me, I had to let her go, but I never stopped loving her.”
“It hurt her too,” he tells me softly.
My heart cracks open with his words. His eyes are soft and curious as he looks at me and I stop what I’m doing to give him all my focus. This is a conversation deserving of my undivided attention.
“How do you know that, Mack?”
He sighs softly and bites his lip for a moment before sitting up straighter. “Sometimes I would find Mama crying, but she tried to hide it. When I asked her why she was crying she would tell me she missed someone. One time she told me she missed the other half of her soul. When she looks at you,” he shrugs, “I don’t know, but it’s kind of like when she looks at me? With love. I guess I figured you’re the guy she was missing because she hasn’t looked sad since we saw you in the store with Gramps.”
“I’m sorry your Mama was crying,” I tell him, trying not to get too emotional in front of Mack.
“Don’t hurt her again.” He gives me a stern look and even though he’s only three, I know he’s being as threatening as possible.
I rest a hand on his shoulder and give a small squeeze. “I’m going to make you a promise, Macklin. I know you don’t know me very well, but I keep my promises.” He nods tentatively. “I’ll never hurt your mom again. I will protect her and love her for the rest of my life.”
“Good.”
The silence stretches between us, but it’s clear there’s something on his mind. I’m not going to push him to share with me if he’s not ready. I focus on finishing mixing up the batter before I get the pan warmed up on the stove. Mack is far enough away that I’m not concerned about him getting burned.
From what Eden has told me, he loves to help in the kitchen and is good about being safe. He did great in the kitchen with Noel yesterday for lunch so I’m not all that worried about him.
It’s strange being in my kitchen with him, but it feels natural too.
“You know,” his voice is tentative and when I glance at him, he isn’t looking at me, “my dad didn’t want me.”
I suck in a sharp breath and shake my head. “I don’t think that was it, Mack,” I force my voice to be soft even though everything in me wants to go and track down the asshole who walked away from his son.
“It’s okay,” he sighs. “One time I asked Mama about it, but she looked so sad. I ended up asking Gramps one time when he visited. He didn’t say my dad didn’t want me but said he couldn’t be a good dad to me.”
“You deserve the best dad,” my voice is thick and it’s difficult to swallow around the lump in my throat.
“I think I’d like you to be my dad,” he says without even a hint of irony, just one hundred percent honesty.
I blink at him a few times, unsure of what to say to him. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, but I desperately want to be his dad. I’m sure there is a way to navigate this correctly, but I have no fucking idea how.
“I’m not sure if that’s up to us, Macklin,” I tell him softly. “I want everything to work out with your mom and I desperately want to be in your life. No matter what, I’ll have your back. Can that be good enough for right now?”
He narrows his eyes at me and gives a single nod. He holds his hand out to shake. When I do, he smiles. “It’s a deal.”
As we start to make pancakes, we talk about whatever Mack wants to talk about. He tells me about his favorite cartoons and movies. As we laugh with each other, the seriousness of the earlier conversation is forgotten.
I tense when I hear the front door open, but I relax when I hear the voices of my brothers as they move toward the kitchen. The moment they walk into the room, I glare at them, but they hardly look my way. Apparently, my desire to spend the morning with my little family doesn’t matter.
Huxley and Noel head right toward Macklin who is wiggling on the counter in excitement. “Hi,” he practically cheers at my brothers.
They both get fist bumps which make Mack look proud as hell and puff up like a peacock. It’s adorable.
Huxley drapes himself over my shoulders and looks down at the pan, “What are we having for breakfast?”
“I wasn’t planning on feeding you lugs,” I grumble.
“I know you don’t mean that,” Huxley grins at me before swiping one of the already cooked pancakes from the plate on the side.
I let out a sigh and swat at him with the spatula, but he dances away. I shoot him a murderous glare, but he just winks at me.
“You’re having breakfast with us?” There’s so much hope in Macklin’s voice that I can’t bear telling my brothers to get lost.
Noel smirks at me before sliding next to me and starts to mix up some more pancake batter without me saying anything. I should leave it to him to do all on his own as penance, but I’m not going to. I want to cook breakfast for my family.
Maybe it’s silly. Maybe it doesn’t make any sense. For some reason it’s important to me to be the one to make food for Macklin and Eden.
“You bet we are,” Noel agrees with a big smile on his face. “Have you been helping with the pancakes?”
“Of course,” Macklin scoffs like it’s obvious.
“You were a big help with lunch yesterday,” Noel tells him.
Macklin fucking glows under the attention of my brother and it does something to my chest. Warmth flows through me with the knowledge that Macklin isn’t just my family. It’s clear my brothers have welcomed him with open arms.
This little boy, who already feels like mine, deserves to have as many people at his back as he can.
The pancakes are almost done as Noel pulls bacon out of the oven and Huxley finishes cutting up some fruit. Macklin has been taking little pieces of fruit as he and Hux have been chatting. I’m not sure he’ll eat much once we sit down, but I wasn’t going to stop them from bonding.
Macklin’s laughter is worth every piece of fruit my brother has allowed him to sneak. He does think he’s doing it on the sly, which is fucking adorable.
I hear footsteps approaching tentatively and turn just as Eden peeks into the kitchen. Her smile is shy and the look on her face is unsure. When I wink at her and smile, she seems to relax and steps farther into the room.
She’s wearing a pair of leggings which must have been in her giant bag, but she’s still wearing my shirt. I love seeing her in my clothes. I loved it back in the day, but she looks even better in them now. Her curves could take me to my knees and to have them in my shirt? I’m fucking done for.
“What’s going on in here?”
“Mama!” Macklin claps his hands together, his excitement making all of us smile and laugh. His words are filled with giggles, “We’re making breakfast.”
“I see that,” she smiles at her son and then looks at me, her eyes shining with love.
It makes me want to grab her and pull her against my chest, but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Soon enough I’ll be able to touch her and hold her as much as I want without caring who is around. Macklin deserves to see his mom happy, and I will ensure she’s happy for the rest of her life.
“I can see you’ve been a big help,” she gushes and the way Macklin smiles is filled with pride. “Looks like you might have nabbed some fruit while you were helping too,” she teases him, but it’s filled with affection instead of admonishment.
“Maybe,” Macklin’s grin is sly and his cheeks pink slightly.
“Don’t tell your mama I ate some fruit while cutting it,” Huxley whispers to Mack who starts giggling.
“I think she heard you. She has ears like a bat,” he pouts, but it’s clear he’s being completely serious.
Huxley sputters, “A bat?”
“Yeah, they have great hearing. I watched a nature show about it,” he says with a straight face, not even realizing how funny he is. He’s not even trying.
“It’s a mom superpower,” Eden admits with a shrug.
“See,” Macklin tries to whisper even though he’s not successful, “I told you, like a bat.”
I have to stifle my laughter, but Noel and Huxley can’t do it. Eden moves in next to me and I lean over to kiss her temple, loving the way she presses against my side. Her eyes are soft as she looks up at me and then watches her son joke with my brother.
She looks happy.
I make a silent promise to myself right here and now. I’m going to keep putting that look on her face, no matter what.