– Scotch –
Reincarnation
Nancy and I climb the stairs at the back of my apartment, and our shoes loudly echo on the iron landings. The sun went down hours ago, and the moon is hidden by a thick layer of clouds. We’re about to be dumped with a whole new layer of snow, and Nancy and I both shiver as I fumble for my keys.
She presses her body against my side and wraps her hands around my arm, and we both smile when I look sideways at her pretty eyes.
With cake consumed and a beer sitting low in my belly, I’m feeling all warm and gooey inside, and for the first time in my entire life, I’ve decided to bring a girl back to my apartment.
I’ve danced with some girls at the club. I’ve kissed a couple in the dark. But I’ve never been able to seal the deal. Though it’s not entirely from a lack of trying. In the last couple of years, I’ve become more comfortable in the way my world worked out. I’ve tried hitting on girls, and we have an overabundance of them willing to show the band and me a good time, but when you’re kissing one girl but thinking of another, or worse yet, you say the wrong name, girls tend to get pissy about that.
Fuck Samantha Ricardo for breaking me the way she did.
Fuck her for essentially ensuring I can never move on.
As though her leaving me wasn’t bad enough, she haunts my every thought so that I couldn’t even move on if I tried. Fuck that bitch for tattooing herself on the inside of my eyelids.
I get the keys in my door and the lock snicks open, then turning back to the beautiful woman ready and willing to un-funk me, I bend my neck and cup her face, and at the very same moment our lips touch, Sammy’s face pops into my mind… But this time, it’s an image of Sammy and I together, and I’m a teenager. It’s a made-up image, not a memory, because back then, I’d never be so rude to her, but this time, this image, I am. With my middle fingers up in salute, I’m internally shouting ‘Fuck you, Samantha Ricardo.’
Nancy’s breath comes out on a delicious bubble gum flavored pant, and her chest rests heavily against mine. My hands squeeze her neck as I manipulate the way her head tilts, and as my dick thickens and grows against her stomach, she groans in my mouth. Blindly groping for the doorway, I nibble at her lips and spin us until her back rests against the inside wall. Reaching out with my hand, I slam the door shut, locking out the falling powdery snow and the car lights that turn into the alleyway behind the auto shop.
My hands drop to her tits instantly. Nancy’s hands squeeze my shoulders and my hands squeeze the odd feeling globes. Who am I to judge? Tits are tits, and they feel fine to me.
My lips dive down to her flowery scented neck, and nibbling at the warm flesh as her pulse beats against my tongue, I lift her leg as it slides around my hip. I press my dick against her and my teeth press down over her collar bone, but I freeze at the oddest noise.
Like a goat crying.
My brows knit, and I shush my date as her breath thunders in my ear. Our chests rise and fall heavily, our breath mingles as I pull back. Our eyes meet in the silence and we wait, but then the noise starts again.
“What the f--”
The stairs outside my door creak, and like metal on metal, the sliding of two solid objects against each other have my heart pounding for a new reason. I step back from Nancy’s groping hands, and when her leg falls to the floor, she lets out a grunt of dissatisfaction.
“Shhh. Just wait a sec.”
The crying continues, then a loud booming thump at my door actually forces me back a step. This is an old apartment, shitty, with old appliances and carpet, and no peep hole to look through. I step closer to the wooden door that separates me from whoever’s outside, and resting my hand on Nancy’s stomach to keep her flat against the wall, I rest my face on the door.
It’s late at night, and I honestly can’t even remember the last time someone knocked on my door. Britt and the girls come and go freely. The band let themselves in whenever they want, but they so rarely do. We spend the majority of our mooching time at Alex’s place, because he’s always got food and cable.
Another heavy fist slams against the door urgently, but the crying outside almost drowns the sound out. I search my pockets for my cell, and finding it, hit the button to switch the screen on. No missed calls. No texts. I saw everyone an hour ago, and no one mentioned coming over.
The girls scowled at me as I let Nancy out the front door, and the guys gave me enthusiastic thumbs up, because they’re lame.
I clear my throat softly, then leaning closer to the door, I call out. “I’m busy right now. Go away.”
“Sam!”
My whole world drops out from beneath my feet. My dick jumps without permission. My heart thunders with anxiety… and something else I can’t quite pinpoint. My eyes snap to Nancy’s, like this is some cruel joke she might be playing, but she’s as lost as I am.
“Sam. Please open the door. It’s snowing, and we’re cold.”
“Sam?”
My eyes jump from the door back to Nancy’s.
“Your name isn’t Scotch?”
I shake my head silently.
“Your name is Sam?” she whispers. “That feels strange to say.”
I nod, then shush her with my finger over my lips.
“Please,” Sammy calls out. “Open the door right now. I have a baby and she’s cold.”
Quickly pushing Nancy back against the wall, I swing the door wide with a flourish. Without thinking my actions through, I grab hold of her thin wrist, and tug a shivering Sammy inside my apartment. Slamming the door shut as flurries of snow drift in, we all stand in a circle, and we stare at each other in muted shock.
Sammy’s hair is as long as I remember, possibly longer, and though it’s sleeker than it used to be, straighter and smoother, the top is slightly frizzed as snowflakes melt into her scalp.
She wears a baggy sweater, chocolate brown with black stripes, and one side hangs just off center, revealing soft pink skin covering a delicate clavicle. My eyes zero in on an almost hidden tattoo she has working its way up and over her exposed shoulder, but a strange squeaking noise has me frowning and my eyes continue on. She’s wearing jeans not unlike some she would have worn back in high school. Light blue with trendy little rips around the knees and thighs, then down to black ankle boots with little ‘V’s’ cut out to reveal the pale flesh around her ankles.
“Umm, Scotch--”
I ignore Nancy as my eyes travel up Sammy’s left side, then I stop at the giant black… baby carseat? Charlie is always being carried around in one of these, but usually it’s Jack’s stronger arms lugging it around, not thin arms attached to a heavily breathing woman. She watches me as I watch her, then as my eyes leave the carseat, since the hood is up and a blanket is thrown over top, our gazes meet as she bends down and places the heavy load on the floor by her feet.
“Sammy?”
She bites her lip and pushes loose strands of hair behind her ear. I wonder if she’s sick. Her face is paler than I’ve ever seen it before, even paler than that last night I saw her.
The last night I saw her…
When she was mine. Pregnant with mine. Then she wasn’t anymore…
Red hot anger washes through my body as memories slam over me. “What are you doing here, Samantha?”
She steps back an inch, as though my words were a physical blow. Good!
“Sam. I --”
Whoever or whatever she has in that carseat is too small to belong to me. This isn’t my problem, and her reentrance into my life only serves to remind me what she took. “No. Get out.”
Her eyes flash wide with hurt.
I step around her and open the door. That strange squeaking noise is loud, so loud, its unnerving. I stand with my hand on the frame and glare. I nod back toward the stairs. “Go.”
“Please, Sam. We need--”
“Someone else. I have nothing for you, Samantha. Please leave.”
“Just five minutes of your time, please?” She glances between Nancy and me awkwardly, but she’s not nearly as hurt as I know I’d still be if I saw her and a man together. Which just proves my point. She and I are different people now, and she doesn’t care about me.
Her desperate eyes come back to mine. “Please Sam. This is important.”
“Can’t help you, Doll. Fuck off. Don’t come back.”
Her eyes fall with disappointment, then firing with something else, she bends and picks up the baby seat. I’m dying to look inside. Desperately, in pain, itching palms, dying to lift the cover and look inside. Will the baby look like her? Will it look like me? Is it a boy or girl? And what the fuck is that noise?
She steps toward the stronger wind outside, and the snow spins and swirls in tiny cyclones. I’m sending my Sammy and a baby into what might turn to a blizzard. Fuck!
“I’m sorry I interrupted your evening.” She glances between me and Nancy one last time, then with a tiny, nervous curtsy, she leaves the way she came and I slam the door behind her. I don’t want to watch her walk away. I’ve seen it too many times in my dreams. I don’t need more material to ruin the next decade of my life.
I storm away from Nancy and slam doors as I pass through my kitchen. Fucking bitch! My breath comes out heavy and pained. My chest heaves as though I’ve just run a marathon. My hands shake and my eyes literally water, because I’m a fucking pussy!
“Scotch…” Nancy follows me to the living room, but I ignore her words and slump onto the single recliner. I rest my elbows on my knees and dangle my head low. I breathe through my teeth and the nausea that settled in my belly as soon as I saw the headlights illuminate my driveway.
“Hey.” She climbs onto the chair behind me. Her hands rest on my shoulders and her thumbs dig in and massage. “Are you okay? Was that another sister?” She giggles nervously. “Or maybe your wife? Are you cheating on me already Scotch Turner?”
Bile literally rises in my throat. I stand up so suddenly, Nancy slumps forward. Taking her hand, I help her stand. “Let’s go.”
“You’re taking me home?”
“Yep. Sorry. I can’t do this tonight.”
She watches me for a long moment, then dropping her eyes to our feet, she nods softly. “It was fun while it lasted. I had a good night tonight.”
“Sorry I’m flaking. Come on, I’ll drive you home.”