– Scotch –
The Final Act
We walk through the main doors, and I stop when I find Marc standing at Sammy’s back, and another man practically sandwiching her in at the front. Marc’s looking out for me, but who the fuck is that other guy?
I take a deep breath and continue to walk. I stare at my daughter and wife, and I ignore everyone around us. I brought them here today, but I can’t deal with them right now.
I stop in front of Sammy and basically shoulder barge that other guy out of the way. He grunts in annoyance, but he moves. Marc smiles blindingly behind Sammy, drawing my gaze momentarily, then to my daughter.
Jesus, she’s grown. It’s been ages since I saw her in the hospital with wires and terrifying machines surrounding her. Even longer since she was in my home, squeaking in the next room while I held her mama in my arms and breathed her candy scent deep into my lungs. I reach out for her, snatching her away from Marc like a starving man might steal the crust left behind on a plate in a restaurant. I press her to my chest and almost sob as her perfect candy smell fills my nose. Like mother, like daughter.
“Hey, Rosie. I missed you so much, baby.” Daddy missed you. Daddy loves you so much, it’s almost more painful than how much I love your mommy.
“Sam…”
I hold Lily against me, but I look up at my wife’s beautiful voice. “Hey Ricci.” I look her up and down, and though I note her nervously wringing hands, I also notice the wedding ring on her left hand, and the promise ring I gave her so fucking long ago I almost wondered if I’d made it up, on her right. Sammy’s wearing a power suit and perfect hair. She’s ready to go to war for her daughter. “You look beautiful.”
She smiles shyly. “Thanks. What are you doing here?”
I look around the crowd surrounding us, and swallow down the anxious lump in my throat. I was hoping for a little more privacy to do this.
I turn back to her, and before she can escape, I shoot my arm out and snatch her pinky finger with mine. Our wedding bands clang together. Her eyes flare wide with panic, but I challenge her to get her hand away. She’ll have to break her finger to pull loose.
“No matter what happens to us, I’m here to make this happen for you.”
Her head tilts in confusion, so I clarify. “Lily. I’m here, as your husband, to make sure she comes home with you. No matter what happens with us, no matter what happened in the past or whatever happens in the future, I’m here to make sure she comes home with you.”
“Sam--”
“And I brought a bunch of people who’d like to see her go home with you, too. We’re here so you’re not alone. You’ve spent too much time alone, Ricci.”
A tear escapes as she studies the group behind me. “They don’t even know me.”
“They know me.” I lean forward, bravely kissing away the errant tear as it dangles perilously on her jaw. “They know me, and they know I love you. So now you’re theirs too.”
“Just like that?” she whimpers. She shakes her head softly, sending icy fingers over my spine. “Sam. I can’t-- It’s not that easy--”
“We’re the easiest thing there ever was, Ricci.”
“Don’t do this to me, Sam. I can’t survive you again.”
She’s a survivor. She can do anything. “I’m adopting Lily today, and I’m not walking away from here until she’s yours. Ours. I’m making sure she has a home and a family, then you and me… Well, that’s separate.”
Sammy continues to look at just about every feature of my face, but not at my eyes. She refuses. Marc stands close behind her, and I think if it was any other man standing on her flank, I might be seeing red, but it’s Marc, and he’s smiling at me.
“So I guess you and Marc are buddies again.”
Sammy stands up straighter, smoothing her fancy top and lifting her chin defiantly. “I’m not brother shopping.”
I smile as Lily unexpectedly lets out a rumbling fart on my arm. I look up at Marc and nod gently, then finally taking a hint, he backs away and moves toward a blonde chick who’s staring at me like I’m a rock star. I turn back to Sammy, and smile what I hope is my most charming smile. A smile I save only for her. “I know you’re not brother shopping.”
“Because Marc’s too loyal to even look at me twice?”
I gently squeeze her pinky finger. “No. Because you’d never hurt me like that. And because you’re too loyal to move on from a boy who broke your heart back in high school.”
“Sam--”
“Just… shhhh, Ricci. Don’t argue.”
“But--”
I glare at her, but I’m not mad at all. “Shush.”
She bites her lip, not seductively, but like she’s biting off her words before she punches me in the face. Sammy Ricardo isn’t quite as shy as she once was. She’s a fierce mama now, and she’s ready to strike.
“Are you ready for today?”
A shiver runs through her body. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be scared. I’m here to make it better. I can fix anything, remember?”
“Not anything,” she whispers. “I thought you could fix anything, once upon a time. But those were the dreams of a teenage girl. I’m not her anymore, and I’m not as na?ve.”
“But you’re still my wife. That’s gotta mean something.”
She glares at me. “Yeah, it means my husband is a weirdo and won’t divorce me.”
“Your husband.” I smile wolfishly. “That still sounds good, huh?”
She purses her lips unimpressed.
I shrug and kiss Lily’s head. “You could probably change your name while we’re here, yeah? It’s been long enough.”
“Sam--”
I flutter my lashes. I can’t tell if I’m losing her, or if she’s mentally cataloging where all the frying pans are. “Ricci?”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because we’re not over. We were just… on pause.”
“On pause?”
“For a really long fucking time. So long that both our hearts were carved from our chests and thrown in the lake. So long, that neither of us smiled again until you came crashing through my door with demands.”
“You didn’t smile that night.”
I lean in close and whisper in her ear. “I smiled when I whacked off thinking about you.”
“Sam!” She smacks my arm and her fiery blush spreads across her cheeks. “Jesus. Since when do you speak about me that way?”
“Probably around the same time you learned how to say fuck.”
She huffs adorably, but her face continues to burn. “We’re not those people anymore.”
“We’re still Sam and Sammy. Scotch and Soda. Ricci and that guy.” I smile charmingly again. “I want you back, Ricci. I want us to try again.”
“Sam--”
“But,” I interrupt her pained groan. “I’m here today for you and Rosie. Whatever else happens, we’re going in there today, and you’re walking in proud with all of these people on your back. They all care, and they’re here to show you their support.”
She looks over my shoulder subtly.
“Most of ‘em are assholes. But they’re good people. This is my family, and now they’re yours. Whether you want them or not. Whether you keep them or not. We’re here to make sure Lily goes home with you.
“I know you’re scared, but I need you to remember the fearless teens we once were. I was a boy when I made promises. But as a man, I promise that I’ll keep them. You bucked everyone except me. You traded a fancy wedding that I know you’d probably planned since you were old enough to know what a wedding was, and you married me on a Monday morning in your jeans and shirt without any of your friends there. You married me. You said yes.”
“Thirteen years is too long--” she pleads.
“I know that. It was a long fucking time, but we still love each other.”
“No--”
I pin her with an angry glare. “Don’t you lie to me, Ricci. Don’t you fucking lie because you’re proud.”
Her own fiery glare meets mine, but then it transforms to defeat. I prefer the fire. “Sometimes love isn’t enough. We already tried that. Jesus, we had more love than any other couple in the whole world, and it still didn’t work out.”
“Miscommunication. That’s what it was. It was manipulative assholes out to tear us apart. But we’re older now. Wiser. We’ll make better choices, and we won’t let anyone hurt us again.”
“How can you promise that? How can you know?”
“I know what I know, Sammy. And I know--”
Tears escape her tightly shut eyes. “Don’t. Please, Sam. Please don’t say that.”
“I know what I know!” I rush out. “We still fit, Ricci. After all this time, we both wear our wedding bands.” I squeeze her hand until her eyes meet mine again. “You’re still wearing my promise ring. Did you think I wouldn’t notice the tan mark when you came to my door? You took it off while you were in my apartment, but you can’t hide the indent a ring makes after more than a decade of wearing it. You had to have had it resized. You’ve grown since then, so you purposely went out and had it resized. You couldn’t let me go any better than I could let you go.”
“It doesn’t matter what I did in that time--”
“What’s your end game here, Sammy? Being alone for the sake of being alone? You’re single. I’m single. We’re already married. You love me. I love you more than my own fucking life. I’ll move here if you want me to. I told you I’d go anywhere you wanted. I brought clothes and my guitar, they’re in my car. You’re here, and Lily’s here. That’s all I need! We have smartphones these days. I can FaceTime the guys any time I want. Why are you arguing?”
“Because it hurt!” she finally snaps back. “It hurt, and like a puppy conditioned to flinch every time his owner’s boot swings his way, I’m scared to do this again.”
“So you’d rather be alone?”
“It’s not as black and white as that, Sam. It’s not that easy!”
Hugging Lily securely to my chest with my right hand, I lean toward Sammy and press my lips over hers. She cries out in shock, just like that day in my kitchen. Tears spring from her eyes as sobs burst from her lips to mine.
“We are that easy! We’re the easiest thing there ever was. Stop lying to us both!”
“Sam,” she cries softly. She’s shaking her head no, but she’s here. She’s right here in front of me.
“Tell me you love me, Ricci. Tell me the truth.”
“Sam--”
“I don’t know if you know this about me, but I have the patience of a fucking saint. I can wait you out. Tell me you love me.”
“Samantha?” A portly older man steps into the foyer our group fills. Sammy hurriedly wipes her tears away before she turns her gaze toward him.
“We’re ready for you now.”
She nods. “Thanks Ed. I’m coming in now.”
Sammy sucks in a large ragged breath as Ed walks away, then stepping forward without meeting my gaze, she plucks Lily from my arms and sets her in the stroller. “I have to go.”
“Sammy,” I plead. “Just say yes, and everything else can be worked out. Say yes to us. Take my hand and trust me to take care of everything else.”
Emotion shutters over her eyes, but after a long drawn out minute, she shakes her head softly. She brushes a hand over her hair and straightens her outfit, then turning away, she murmurs, “I love you Sam. But I can’t survive you again.”
She walks away quickly, pushing the stroller ahead of her until she meets up with the blonde woman, then they walk into the room Ed came out of and they disappear.
“Go!” Angelo smacks me on the shoulder. “No matter what, you still need to go in there. They need the daddy on paper.”
“Ang--”
“Go.” He shoves me forward and follows close behind me. I turn to watch my whole family as they step forward and follow us in.
I take a deep breath as we enter the chamber that is about ninety-percent dark mahogany wood. This isn’t a criminal trial. There’s no jury, no fleet of lawyers, no frills. It’s just one single judge as he smiles and sits upon his throne, then there’s Ed sitting at one table, and Sammy and the young guy from earlier sitting at the other.
As though I belong there, I move toward my wife and pull out a chair beside her. I promised that no matter what happens between us, I’m still making sure Lily goes home with her. I’m a man, and even broken hearted, I’m keeping my promises.
Sammy’s eyes flip up to me, but after a quick glance, she looks back to the front. She’s shutting me out. But she’s allowing me to be here.
“Ms. Ricardo,” the judge booms happily. “I’m so glad this day has finally arrived. I can admit that I’ve been following Lily’s case for a while.”
She nods gently. “Your Honor.”
He smiles at us, unknowing about the turmoil and heartbreak slinging around the room. He can’t possibly know the sharp slices of my heart as it pierces my chest from within. He can’t know that I won’t be going home with these girls tonight.
But I’ll let him believe that everything is fine.
If I can’t have Sammy Ricardo as my own, I’ll still do everything in my power to make her happy.
“I’ve gone over your documents already, Ms. Ricardo. Mr. Nece scheduled a meeting earlier this week and we’ve gone over the formalities. Today is simply about stamping your paperwork.”
“Just like that?”
He smiles kindly. “It’s as easy as that. Unless, of course, you have something to add to the case.”
Sammy’s chest shudders with emotion. She places her right hand on the stroller Lily lies in, and her left blindly reaches out for mine until our pinkies link. “No, Your Honor. Stamp away. I’m ready to take my daughter home.”
My heart hammers in my chest at her contact. Even saying no to me, she still reaches for me for comfort. That’s got to mean something! She tattooed us on her skin. That has to mean something. She still wears my ring!
“Alright, today marks the day Lilian Rosalee Lytto becomes Lilian Rosalee Ricardo.” He looks to Sammy and smiles proudly. “Do you promise to love her and take care of her for the rest of your life?”
Sammy hiccups with emotion. “I promise. For the rest of my life.”
“And you, Mr. Turner? From this day forward, Lilian is your daughter. Do you understand the weight of that decision? Do you vow to love and protect her?”
I nod as my heart simultaneously thunders with hurt and love. Hurt, because Sammy doesn’t want me. Love, because Lily will be mine. On paper, at least. “I swear, Your Honor. I’ll protect her with my life.”
He quite literally picks up a stamp, flourishing it in the air dramatically as he smiles.
“Ah, actually.” Sammy stops him. His eyes come to hers, hers come to mine, and mine search hers for the final blow. The hammer is about to drop. I can feel it. She turns back to him shyly, then straightening her spine and tucking loose hair behind her ears, she smiles shakily. “Turner. Lilian Rosalee Turner. As per my husband’s name.”