Wrapped in Winter (Seasons in Montana: Winter)

8. January

Chapter 8

January

I spent the day checking my phone for a text message and that's when I knew I was in over my head, though I really should have seen the signs already. There’s something about Drake I like, but it’s definitely not my obsessive feelings toward him. Obviously his physical appearance drew me to him that night but there’s more to it than that. There’s something about him, and I can’t put my finger on it. But I want to know, need to know , what it is. I’ve never reacted to a man the way I did to him that first night, never felt such an undeniable pull toward anyone. That’s why I followed him into the bathroom and why I haven’t been able to get him out of my head since. And that scares me because I’ve never felt this way before and seem powerless to stop it.

I’ve never been one to act without thought for the consequences. Even as a child.

Growing up as the oldest girl, it left Lief and I as the role models. We still had a ton of fun and played the usual sibling antics that everyone hears about. Us girls would gang up on Lief, barging in on him kissing his high school sweetheart, Charlotte. Then we’d run through the house screaming about their tongues touching and rat on them to our parents. Of course, turnabout's fair play, and he’d do things like wait until we snuck down to the lake together and push us in. We’d have to explain why our clothes were soaking wet when we got home. I always accepted responsibility for things like that because I was the oldest of us girls, but it was great and those were the happiest times of my childhood.

Losing dad took that joy away. It broke our family, and I didn’t know how to handle it. So I ran and that’s where having to deal with big consequences began.

Courtney, Jack, and I settled in New York City; the three of us living in a one-bedroom apartment. Those two were so in love, and it was very hard to not hear how much and how often they loved each other. So I began going out, meeting men and hoping to find my own boyfriend. The club scene was like nothing I'd ever been a part of. And with that club scene came a party scene. I had heard about things like that, but I’d never seen it in real life. It was exciting, it was different, and it helped me to not feel. I could easily cover the grief, and most of all, it was something Montana January would never do. But New York City January was down for it all.

I didn’t want to be Montana January anymore.

The three of us had gone out dancing one night. We were asked to join a table in the VIP room. There we joined a beautiful group of people with a mysterious vibe. The typical nightlife scene of young kids with Daddy’s money was intriguing at the time. Alcohol and more was passed around and so were the women. We took it all in; wide-eyed country kids exposed for the first time.

There was one guy who I watched. He didn’t partake in anything more than alcohol, but he sat back and oversaw it all. Like he was the leader or something.

He was gorgeous and I was instantly drawn to him.

“ My name is Sean.”

“I’m January.”

“January. That's very different, beautiful, like you.”

He offered me a drink and I took it. We sat at the VIP table while everyone else came and went, and we talked all night. He was charming and sexy. Alluring. His voice was deep and he touched me when he spoke but only in the most respectful way. I went home with him that night, despite the pleas from Jack not to. Courtney talked him into letting me go; she was just as enamored with Sean as I was. And looking back, that's probably why Jack left with her. Because if he didn't take her away, she may have stayed too long like I did.

Though I didn’t know it at the time, that was the second night of my life that changed everything.

“Why do you keep checking your phone?” Blossom comes up beside me, helping me unpack the last of the boxes that Drake delivered.

I pull out the newest sets of lingerie and carefully unpackage them before laying them on the table. “Mom has Lily, I’m just making sure they’re okay.”

“Nothing to do with the delivery we got today?”

“Nope.”

“You know I get a screenshot of the copy you signed for, right?”

I drop the lingerie I was holding and turn to her. “If you already know everything, why are you asking me questions?”

“The more I ask, the more you talk, and the more you talk, the better you’ll be.”

“Now you sound like Dr. Seuss.”

She shrugs. “So when are you going out with him?”

“I’m not.”

“Then why did you give him your number?”

I shrug. I don’t know why I gave him my number. Maybe I'm hoping he won’t call, and then I can write him off as just another asshole. But for some reason, I know he’s not. And maybe the real hope is that he will call.

She squeals and jumps up and down. “My sister has a crush!”

“Stop it. A man is the last thing I need to deal with right now. I’ve got to stay focused on this store. On Lily.” I inhale deep and let out a breath. I find myself doing it more and more, like I'm trying to catch my breath and move forward. But no breath is ever enough. “It's complicated, Blossom. Everything about me is complicated, and no one deserves to have to deal with that.”

She shakes her head. “There are genuinely good people out there who will love you for you and not care about your complications. And honestly, what are they? You’ve got a dead father, a dead boyfriend, and an amazing daughter. Sounds like half the population.”

I huff out a small laugh. “Oh, baby sister, if only everyone had your outlook.”

“And no one said you had to marry him. Just fuck in random bathrooms; you’ll be fine.”

Meadow bursts into the room. “Oh, I heard about this. Which one of you was it?”

“How long have you been eavesdropping?”

She snickers. “I walked in on the right sentence.” She stops with a hand on her hips. “Now, I know it wasn’t January, so Blossom, how was Bennett?”

“For your information, it wasn’t me. And leave Bennett out of this,” she huffs out and turns sideways, boxing Meadow out.

Meadows' eyes swing to me with an incredulous look. “ You were fucking in the men’s room at the Range?”

The jingle of the bell alerts us to customers, and I have to shush Meadow. She’s the wild one of the Nilsson family, never having learned impulse control. She says whatever comes to mind and does whatever she feels in the moment.

“Good afternoon!” I call to them as they wave and begin to shop around. I turn back to Meadow and drag her to the counter, Blossom hot on my heels. “We have customers, so watch yourself.”

She blows a bubble with her gum and lets it pop loudly. “You fuck the bartender?” She raises a brow and crosses her arms while leaning her hip against the counter.

“What? No.” I wave my hand dismissing her.

“Good. I like giving him a hard time, so he’s mine.”

I roll my eyes. My sister always did this, she’d spot someone and call dibs, then tease the shit out of the poor guy before sending him on his way. There’s a reason she’s got the nickname Maneater Meadow.

“Do you mean Cole?” Blossom asks. “He’s a nice guy, leave him alone, Med.”

Meadow appears bored as she continues to chew her gum and pick her nail polish. “Nice guys finish last. I’m going to teach him that.”

I chuckle at her. “You’re terrible. What are you going to do when you actually find someone you want to make it work with? They’re not going to stick around to be your punching bag.”

“When I find someone, I’ll let you know. Anywayyyy,” she draws out the word, “you're avoiding the question. Tell me who he is.”

“You know the new delivery guy, Drake?” I tune out Blossom spilling my secret as I hear my text go off.

Unknown: I really hope you gave me the right number.

I smile at his text, quickly adding his contact and typing back.

Me: That depends. Who are you looking for?

Drake: I’m looking for a gorgeous blonde.

Me: She’s a little young to be handing out her phone number.

Drake: Can I talk to her momma then?

“Why are you smiling like that?” Meadow grabs the phone from my hand.

“Hey! Give it back!” I lunge for her but she squirms by me, racing around to the other side of the counter.

“Meadow.”

“January,” she replies with sarcasm in her tone, mocking me.

Blossom giggles. “I bet it's her new boyfriend.”

“Can you two please act professionally? We have customers,” I say through gritted teeth.

Meadow swipes through the texts. “Ooh, he’s looking for a gorgeous blonde? Is his next question going to be whether she can fuck in the restroom?”

Blossom belly laughs. “He already knows she can!”

I hoist myself onto the counter halfway and snatch the phone back from my sister. “Some days I wish I was an only child. Watch the floor. I’m going to the stockroom.” I ignore their giggles as I trudge to the back.

Me: Sorry, my sisters were being assholes.

Drake: Blossom is the nicest. Not possible.

Me: Maybe you should take her to dinner.

Drake: Do you think she knows a place with a nice restroom?

Me: You’ve got to let this go.

Drake: Never. I’ve thought about it every night since then.

I breathe deep again and lean against the wall. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Drake: Am I allowed to say that?

Me: You can say anything you want.

Drake: Tell me you’ve thought about it too.

Me: Not once.

Drake: Liar.

Drake: Can you get a sitter for Friday? If not, we’ll take Lily with us.

Me: You would do that?

Drake: Of course. I told you I’m looking for a gorgeous blonde. Now I found two.

I smile and bite my lip. This guy is just too good to be true.

Me: Friday it is.