chapter030
Edie had respectably given Elliot and Fraser a clear two hours. Nevertheless, approaching the hotel room door (penthouse suite, of course), Edie stalled. She could hear the conversation on the other side of it, as clear as a bell. It was of interest.
‘Who is Anto, exactly? Anthony?’ Elliot was saying.
‘Anto? Oh, from work?’ came Fraser’s voice.
‘If he’s ever within ten paces of my girlfriend again, I’m going to punch him. Or better yet, get some brick-shithouse-sized bodyguard to do it on my behalf and pay them a bonus for it. So, no more Anto at any events with me unless you want that scene, please. I’m not kidding.’
Edie was embarrassed to hesitate. Somehow, she couldn’t instantly bring herself to either depart or interrupt by knocking. She took a guilty step backwards, which had no effect on her ability to follow what was being said. She’d make a call on whether to stay or go in a second or two; she was definitely about to walk away. She had some rights to curiosity regards Anto.
‘Shit, what happened?’
‘He made up some bullshit to Edie about how I was seeing someone oversexed after we broke up last year. He properly upset her. Seemed capable of Mickey Finning her, to be honest. He was trying for a psychological Mickey Finn as it was.’
Edie breathed out and thought: eavesdropping was improper, yet all she was gaining was reassurance.
‘Fuck! What a weird thing to do. Didn’t he think she’d ask you? What if you’d challenged him?’
‘I suppose then he’d have been confusing me with someone else, whoops-a-daisy. He was having a little low stakes flutter in bullshitters’ Betfred. Long spoon, Fraz.’
‘I’ll take him off the stag do list.’
Edie raised her hand to knock.
‘About the wedding,’ Elliot said.
What? They’d not done this yet? She put her hand down in confusion. She might lose Elliot’s moment for this confrontation entirely. Walk away, she instructed herself. If Fraser yanks the door open in a sudden fit of emotion, and you’re stood there, it’ll look awful.
‘Yeah?’
‘You know all I care about is you being happy? And anything I say is with that aim in mind, not throwing my weight around for the sake of it?’
‘Aww fuck, Lell. You only ever do the you’re a bright lad so why draw cocks on your exercise books kindly teacher voice when you’re about to lecture the shit out of me.’
‘It’s great that you’re both so keen on each other, but getting married this spring is nuts. Life is not the sort of Hallmark movie you watch on a tablet when you’re poorly.’
‘If you know you want to do it, why wait?’
‘To be sure of each other. To be sure it works. You need to have been through some downs as well as ups.’
OK, Edie thought, this is private. Elliot would no doubt give her chapter and verse anyway. She turned to go.
‘How long did it take you to be sure of Edie?’ Fraser said.
Edie stopped, back to the door. This was why she should’ve exited before now. Her name had been raised again, and she absolutely shouldn’t be privy to this, yet her feet might as well be nailed to the spot.
‘What’s that got to do with it?’ Elliot said.
‘Did I ever say calm down, you’ve only known her five minutes when you were spinning out about her?’
‘Edie and I aren’t engaged.’
‘Would it be too soon if you were?’
‘Yes, that’s why we’re not engaged. Well, one of the reasons. I mentioned diamond rings once, and she looked like she was going to puke, so I don’t know if marriage is her thing or not.’
Edie flinched. Those wires were crossed. She didn’t want him to think she was Bridget Jones. She didn’t want him to think she was trying to tie him down, as a catch.
‘There you go. You’re not sure of how Edie feels. Molly and I are sure of each other.’
‘Bloody hell, Fraz, this isn’t Bridgerton. We don’t have to be deciding who we are or aren’t going to offer our hands in marriage to after seeing them for six months.’
‘The fact we don’t have to do it is how you know Molly and I are doing it for the right reasons. We want to. You don’t want to be married, and that’s fine, too.’
‘What’s the drawback of waiting a year?’
‘What’s the point?’
‘Like I said: so you’ve stress-tested what you have.’
‘Don’t need to. We have complete trust we’ll be OK whatever gets thrown at us. This is it for me. Forever. When you know, you know,’ Fraser said stoutly. ‘All I hope is she doesn’t choose one of those dresses that look like she ballsed up a poached egg.’
‘I know you’re a blind optimist, and that can be a positive, but it’s not great when it comes to anticipating consequences. Don’t put this kind of pressure on your relationship this early.’
‘See, you’re calling it pressure, but commitment isn’t pressure.’
‘Promising you’ll spend the rest of your lives together after knowing each other months is pressure. You can have your own world view, but I think that’s close to having your own dictionary.’
‘Don’t Elliot me with your clever arguments! So if Edie said, “Please marry me right now – I’m totally sure you’re the one for me. Also no one’s ever given me pleasure like you have, take me now on the floor to the worst Radiohead album you own”, you’d say no?’
‘Correct, I’d say no. To the wedding part.’
Edie’s breathing was heavy, she hoped not audibly.
‘Why? You’re mental about her.’
‘You’ve answered your own question. Falling head over heels in love is a temporary insanity. It’s a flood of mind-altering brain chemicals to make you want to propagate the species. It’s not any promise that you’ll feel the same in a year’s time. You have to let things settle down before you start making longer-term plans.’
Temporary insanity.Edie felt like she’d had a particularly brutal netball tackle. He’d pretty much nutshelled her worst-case scenario for what was happening between them.
Be mine forever?That had meant everything to Edie when she read it, but a literal and practical nothing? She had that distinct flavour of nausea at hearing someone you thought you knew very well sounding unfamiliar. Discovering you’d mistaken your version of a person for the whole person.
‘I dunno – I wanted to propagate the species with women I didn’t love … it’s no use, I know what you’re projecting,’ Fraser was saying. ‘You know all the big words, but I know you too well. Things are very uncertain with Edie. Seeing two people hold hands and jump is making you think about your own problems.’
‘They’re not uncertain?’
‘You told me that the day after you and Edie got back together, she accepted a promotion at work without discussing it with you. You said it would keep her at home, and you didn’t know what it meant.’
What? That bothered him, but he hadn’t said? They could’ve talked about that.
‘You do know what it means – you’re with someone who isn’t going to move to America for you,’ Fraser said. ‘As you say, she probably won’t even come back to London. I get why you don’t think it will last.’
Edie’s heart pounded in her chest.
‘… But I’m sure Molly and I will, so I’m marrying her. You’re not confident about you and Edie, so you’re not. I love you, and I know you’re saying this ’cos you love me, but the call is coming from inside the house.’
Elliot sighed. ‘This is extremely energetic deflection.’
‘That’s what you are doing.’
Edie finally found the will to walk away, far too late. She’d been paid her karmic dues as instant balance transfer.
All done with Fraser?she messaged Elliot, lame and culpable, fragile, having gone quickly back down to the lobby and done a circuit of the block.
Shit sorry, darling, meant to say, he was stupidly late, but done now. He wouldn’t hear a word of it, so there we are.
Edie sympathised, while wishing she hadn’t either.