Zoinks! Nice Pack, Bro

29. Harvest Moon

CHAPTER 29

HARVEST MOON

Jace

S adie is in the hospital bed looking pale and tiny.

Her eyes have these dark bags under them, her wrist has black stitches in it but Ant has tucked it under the sheets because we were all just staring at it, watching the way that she has cut herself open.

All the blood in the water.

Ant’s hoodie was covered in her blood as he held her in the back of the car as Paxton broke several laws getting us to the hospital in six minutes as Ant tried to stop the bleeding.

Cameron looked like he was back in Iraq with that haunted look in his eyes.

Hell .

Last night was absolute hell.

I had told Cam not to bother her in the bath. I could have stopped this from happening but I had thought I was doing the right thing for our omega.

I didn’t know anything.

And now, Sadie has been knocked out since then. The four of us have stayed by her bedside waiting for her to wake up. None of us are talking about what happened but all of us are feeling half alive after the past few days.

We had been all chatting when we thought she was taking her bath. Calmed down by our omega before she had vanished for hours in the bathroom.

Cam had been so jumpy and kept wanting to see her. Ant had joined in but I had just thought they were needy and young. I was so sure she was just decompressing. It wasn’t until Pax looked at the clock and scowled that something finally struck my gut, alerting me that something wasn’t right.

She’s not okay.

We’re not delusional enough to think that is what she is going to say when she wakes up but we all want to be here when she wakes up. We all need to see her because Sadie is our omega. Good times and bad.

Paxton is staring out the window with his arms crossed. His eyes look dead as he stares outside. I know he’s not seeing whatever out there but instead seeing Sadie in that moment

Every time he looks at her he makes this sound like it’s his fault that she had been found with a razor-blade in the bath. So he has been doing his best not to stare at her because it hurts.

I get his line of thought.

It was his gym where something bad happened. It was his tub that she was found in. It was his razor that she had used to-

I need a plan. A plan to make things better. To ease some of her burden. To fix…anything.

“We need her to take a leave of absence at work.” A plan is forming in my mind and it’s mostly to get her the heck away from the place where she was hurt and bring her somewhere where she can be okay. “We can go to my family's ranch. We’re far enough in the work we can leave it in charge of the realtors to start selling the properties. Manage the progress from away. Take shifts flying back as needed.”

Paxton turns and I can see him thinking about this. He nods once.

“Make sure it’s okay with your mom.”

No one says anything else as I start planning everything out. Thankful that we filed with the committee about courting Sadie. It makes things run smoother for us. Less questions asked about who we are to speak for her .

I send texts to my family, make a couple calls. Book flights for Monday, after checking in with Sadie’s doctor and therapists that it will be okay. Maybe it's hopeful that she will wake up by then but I still feel like we need to try.

Finding Sadie’s phone on the floor, Cam had brought it to the hospital with us. I’m glad because I can use it to send a message to HR at her work, start filling out the paperwork for a LOA, which means she will be paid for six weeks on a short term leave. The person from HR already says it will be approved and I have all the documentation from her doctors about her needing a period of time off.

Maybe Paxton can get her onboard with working with us during this time so we can be with her more.

It’s the afternoon when everything is settled.

And I still don’t feel better.

Ant asks for the ranch address and I can see him ordering things, probably for Sadie to be all made up in whatever cowboy fantasy he has for her. He wants to take care of our omega and this is how he knows how to do it. He’s buying the new clothes that we should have gotten for her already and picking up the pieces we have dropped.

The ranch is fresh air, acres of freedom, and a space where Sadie can heal away from everyone. Sure my family is there but they’re not so close knit that they’ll suffocate us. I haven’t really told them much about us yet either. But I will.

“Call the doctor.” Cam’s voice comes out and makes us all look at Sadie, who is currently groaning as her eyes start to blink open before closing again.

Oh My God.

Ant is already out of the room, dragging a nurse in as we watch the way her eyes flick open. Her body flinches at the light before she lets the hospital room come into focus and the situation starts to dawn on her.

I want to ask if she’s okay. I want to hear her voice and know that everything is going to get better. But my mouth is dry and I can’t form words.

“Hi Sadie, I’m Doctor John Hewlett.” The doctor has pushed his way in and is commanding space. Not that Cam is going to give up his spot next to her bed. And none of us are about to leave the room, “Do you know what is going on?”

Her blue eyes stay glued to the doctor as she nods in confirmation, the wrist she slit sliding out of the bed as she holds it up for him to see.

The stitches are so jarring and I wish that they hadn’t stitched her up in black. It’s so dark against her skin like a morbid tattoo. Seeing it is a reminder that she tried to leave us forever. And I hate that. I hate that she didn’t come to us to tell us what was wrong. Hate that we weren’t enough to stop it.

We’re pack. She is supposed to lean on us. We’re her alphas, it’s our honor to take care of our omega.

But we failed her.

“I tried to have some control.” Her voice is so devoid of emotions, bland like it doesn’t matter. Like all of this just is. The doctor must be used to this because he doesn’t correct her.

Control ? What does that even mean?

“Is it okay if we talk with your friends here?” Sadie lets her eyes shift and she glances around at us without seeming to really look at any of us before she just nods her head. Her eyes looking at where Cameron is holding her hand.

We’re not just her friends. We’re her alphas. Her pack but I think that he is trying to placate her. He doesn’t know the situation from her point of view and he’s trying to give her some of her voice back..

I thank God when she gives Cam’s hand a squeeze because I know he needs it.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” Her voice is sure as she says this even in the raspy unused whisper she can currently speak in.

Could have fooled me with that.

After seeing her sinking down in a tub full of her blood I was pretty sure that was exactly what she was doing. The way her hair was floating in the red water and her eyes were half closed as she passed out.

I was sure she had achieved whatever she was trying to do when I first saw her.

“I’ve done this before. Never this deep or anything but I have, you know, a need for control. I haven’t been sad. I’m on Lexapro and it’s working to help me. I just had something-” She stops herself and looks at her wrist and then the doctor.

Cameron’s hand gets dropped as she pushes herself up, wincing at the weight she puts on her hand with the injury.Pax jumps at this, stepping closer with a growl. He is looking at her now. Suddenly not afraid to see her like he had been for days.

“It’s okay. We can have you-”

“Am I being placed on a 72 hour hold?” Her voice is serious, looking at the doctor with a stare that has me sending Pax a look. He seems just as confused by her shift in attitude as the rest of us are.

“No but-”

“I want the discharge paperwork.” She levels him with a look, “I’ll email my therapist in front of you, if you haven’t reached out already, so you can have proof of an action plan. But if I’m not on a hold I want to leave. Now.” Her voice has a note of something in it and I can see the doctor looking at us like we need to jump in.

Now he wants us to be more than just her friends. Convenient for him.

But I want her to be out of here too. I want to take care of her and keep her safe. Not that we did a great job of that so far.

Maybe we aren’t right for Sadie. Maybe we failed her too much and can’t keep her safe. Maybe we’re the problem.

I want Sadie to open up to us and to let her know that we are here for her.

I want to-

“I changedmy mind.” The doctor looks at her in confusion, “I want my room to be family only.” She crosses her arms over her chest and now I’m even more confused by what is going on here.

She’s all over the place and I can’t follow her line of thought. Fear clings to me as I worry that our plan to take her to the ranch is a bad idea. Maybe she doesn’t need a break. Maybe we should get her more help here.

“Princess-”

“Sadie baby-”

“Miss, I can’t- ”

“Am I not allowed to leave?” She asks again, her voice all ice and malice now.

Our Sadie girl is hurting and all she knows howto do is push everyone away.

Why can’t she see that she doesn’t have to be alone?

“If they leave I can’t release you because of him,” He points his finger to me, “He connected your therapist and came up with an action plan for you. So if you’re released today, you’re being released with someone because you're not supposed to be alone. Since you have signed paperwork with the Omega Society that you’re courting this pack I can either place you with them or if they are not a safe option we can come up with a new action plan for you.” The doctor is all business.

Sadie’s eyes look at me and I see her soften as she whines out. There is something in it that makes me tense more than normal. She doesn’t know what to say and is upset.

All our alpha instincts have us bristling as we hear the sound of distress from her. Reacting more than normal because of the current situation we are in with our omega.

A nod from her and she agrees to it. Once again she is asking for the paperwork as the doctor turns and stalks out of the room done with whatever fight he was having with her.

I like that she stood up for herself but I wish she could stand up for herself to herself. I think she’s her biggest critic and if Sadie could see herself like we see her she could realize just how much she matters.

Her knees come up, close to her chest as she wraps her arms around them and rests her forehead against them. She is trying to hide. A deep shuddering breath leaves her and I can see how she is starting to prickle under the attention we are fixating on her.

“Hi darlin’.” My voice comes out, surprising me as I sit on the corner of her bed. I touch her foot, letting her know that I’m here. But not going to crowd her. I’m stilltrying to give our omega some touch therapy that she needs.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” Her words are soft, like she just needs us to believe what she is saying, “I just had a bad day and needed to have some control over something because it felt like I didn’t have any.” Her voice is soft, fading as if she feels like we’ll tell her that’s a lie.

She just wants someone in her corner.

“I get it.” Cameron speaks and her eyes are on him as he moves to sit on the bed beside her again. He makes a motion and she gets closer, letting him pick her up and holding her in his lap as he breathes her in. “You scared us, love.”

Scared is the understatement of the year. Pax has grey hair now and I’m unsure if any of us have slept more than a couple hours in the last few days.

But she’s letting Cam hold her and that feels like it is progress.

“I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t apologize, princess.” Pax moves closer, his fingers tugging one of the braids he did in her hair when she slept. He had done them muttering something about not wanting her hair to get tangled. “Just talk to us.”

Her eyes are filled with tears and she shakes her head trying to pull away from us again.

Like we’re going anywhere.

“We shouldn’t do this anymore. I should go back to my place-”

“Your place is with us, Sadie baby. That’s where you belong. That’s what we want.” Anthony speaks up.

“We just want you, darlin’. Even the bad stuff. Let us hold some of it for you so you’re not carrying it all alone.”

“I don’t go to the gym just for these muscles. I’m ready to carry whatever you’re ready to share, baby bro.” Ant flexes, getting just the smallest of smiles from her.

“The bad stuff is better shared.” Cam says, hugging her close as she lets him scent mark her, “Because this, what we have between us. It matters.” She sniffles, crying now as Cam strokes her back. He’s rocking her gently as he tries to calm her down.

Paxton is about to puke, the discomfort so clear on his face as he sees her upset and wants to fix it. But he can’t. He wants to snatch her from his arms and purr for her but he’s being on his best behavior for her.

She just needs to feel and work through everything that is going on. She just needs to hurt and know that it’s okay to hurt sometimes.She just needs to share it with us so that when it gets heavy the weight of it all is distributed.

A nurse comes in and the relief on Paxton’s face as he takes the paperwork, giving him a job to do, is clear. I get that. I felt better once we had a care plan for our omega.

“You didn’t come in with any clothes.” The nurse looks at us like we should have thought ahead, which is fair but we were just trying to make sure she survived. None of us were going to leave her side during this all to go back home and get clothes.

I’m pulling off my hoodie, already placing it on the bed as an offering as Paxton looks up from the paperwork, shoving half finished papers into my hand.

“I have a gym bag in the car. There should be sweats in there for you, princess. Be right back.”

He escapes the tears she’s shedding, as I buckle down to finish signing everything. Making sure to put down myself as a contact for any payment.

Sadie doesn’t need to be stressed about anything and even though she has insurance this is America and this could end up being 100K after insurance.

Our pack has saved our money. We’re not billionaires but we’re more than okay to be able to take care of our omega. If Sadie wanted to stop working and just focus on getting better and staying better for the rest of her life we could do that without issue.

Ten minutes later, Sadie is in my hoodie and Paxton’s pants tied as tight as she could get the knot. She’s barefoot but since Cameron has her in his arms and is not going to put her down I’m sure she’ll be okay until we get home.

“I don’t know what to do or say.” She says it so softly as we're driving home. She’s sandwiched between me and Cameron in the backseat and her voice is so soft still, like we’re mad at her for being upset.

“I know you want control, Sadie girl, but we’re going to ask you to trust us and give up some of that control. Let us take care of you until you’re ready to take over. Okay?” She sniffles and looks at me.

“What does that mean?”

“It means we’re going to Tennessee.” Paxton supplies like that is the right answer to the question she asked.

And the most surprising thing is Sadie just accepts this, nodding her head and leaning back against Cameron letting him bundle her in to him as much as possible in the small space.

I just want to fix this.

I need to fix this.

And I hope this is going to be enough of a start.