Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
WILL
Day Two
‘What are you doing?’ Sam asks.
‘Just … admiring the structure.’
I’ve darted behind the nearest pillar, lying on my front like a soldier with a sniper. I’ve gone underneath the barrier, which probably broke all sorts of laws.
Sam tilts his head to the side.
Ollie. Here. Of all places.
I suppose Athens isn’t that big. And we are at Athens’ biggest attraction. Is it much of a surprise?
‘Has he gone?’
Sam meets my eye, and it’s difficult to read his expression.
‘Will?’
Ollie’s voice, so soft, curious, like a razor to my nerves.
I turn, still hobbled on the ground, and look up. Ollie stares down at me, equally as befuddled as Sam.
I rise slowly, dabbing at my sweating face.
‘Ollie, hi.’ I gasp. ‘What are you doing here?’
His brown hair doesn’t have a strand out of place, and his blue T-shirt with white shorts shows off his body.
Has he been working out? I hadn’t discerned the true definition of his body back on that winter day in Waterstones.
Wouldn’t surprise me if he has been. He was always conscious about his health and wellbeing.
‘Here?’ He asks. ‘Or here?’
I knew why he’s here. Or is it here? Whatever. I know why he’s in Athens. But here? Now? Fate, you cruel being.
‘Here. The Acropolis.’
Before Ollie can answer, the man I know to be Alec is by his side, like a magic trick. Ollie looks at me like I should applaud, and I almost do.
Alec has darker hair than I thought, and he’s taller. It looked shorter online. He has a Roman nose, a sharp face, not classically handsome, but the more you look at him, the more you see what Ollie no doubt sees. There’s a charm, a sculpture to the bone and skin. He’s alluring.
His fashion sense, though, is a little questionable. Bold, I would call it. Thrift clothes that are second-hand to help the planet. I wish I could critique that, but I can’t.
The truth is, Alec looks better than I imagined he would.
Which drives me crazy.
‘The event organiser said they could definitely get the lanterns,’ Alec says to Ollie.
‘That’s great,’ Ollie says, and oh God, he’s wrapping his arm around Alec’s waist. ‘Um … Alec. This is Will.’
Alec holds out his hand.
I shake it, his hand smooth and warm in mine. Sam steps back, crossing his arms.
‘Hi.’
‘I’m Alec,’ he says, like I don’t know he was the one who has the man I want. Need. He doesn’t register my name.
‘Nice to meet you.’
‘You too.’
‘Will here is attending the wedding,’ Ollie says to Alec.
‘Oh, no way.’ Alec’s eyes widen. ‘How do you and the groom know each other?’
He says this with interest, with a warmth I’d hoped he wouldn’t have, because if he didn’t have that, there’d be an excuse to hate him. But he isn’t giving me that excuse.
Except, why does he need to ask that question? Come on.
I look at Ollie. Words unspoken. Has he not told Alec about me?
‘He’s a friend from uni,’ Ollie says. ‘We were in the same English Lit class.’
And we were in love, you going to mention that?
Alec beams. ‘Another English Lit grad.’
What’s happening?
My hands tremble; my legs buckle.
Have those years with Ollie been pretend? A figment of my imagination?
Was I that insignificant?
A friend?
‘I haven’t seen him in years.’ Ollie must believe his own lie. I want to wipe his smile off his face by calling him out, recalling February. ‘It’s great to see you again, but you know the wedding is not until the end of this month, don’t you?’
‘I do, yes,’ I say, as if this is some board meeting with Clive.
‘Right, cool,’ Ollie recovers.
‘Are you bringing anyone? A plus one?’ Alec asks.
‘Will doesn’t have a plus one,’ Ollie says, laughing. How very presumptuous. How tragically true.
‘Uh…’
Why the hell did I come here? Seeing them now, I realise how silly this whole thing is.
I didn’t think this through. No logical thought went into coming here, but then logic has evaded me since finding out Ollie’s getting married.
How humiliating it is to be standing here as Ollie drapes his arm around Alec and looks like I’ve disturbed his nuptials, even though this is a chance meeting.
But something shifts within me. A need to explain why I’m here. What I’m about to do is reckless, and logic deserts my decision.
‘Sam here is my plus one,’ I say, reaching for Sam.
For a moment, Sam does nothing, and my cheeks threaten to betray my embarrassment, but then he takes my hand, hesitantly, and steps closer to me.
His hand cradles my back, and I shiver, hoping that the two people before me haven’t noticed.
Both Ollie and Alec regard Sam as if he were the most outstanding specimen on earth.
Alec literally stands straighter, blinking Sam into focus.
‘Meet Sam. My—’
‘Boyfriend,’ Sam blurts. ‘Hi.’
What?
What is Sam doing?
This wasn’t the plan. I have to be available. Off the market. On the shelf. Having a Sam would look like I’ve moved on. Sam should be my plus one friend. Not my plus one romantic interest.
Alec brushes his hand along Ollie’s arm.
So what if I lost Ollie for good? Yeah, it’d fucking hurt. It would be like exposing my wound to the elements all over again, but Lydia’s words, Alice’s reaction, my conversation with Jill, all made me realise that coming here to stop whatever they have was one big mistake.
But now here’s Sam. Pretending to be my lover. Ollie’s brow is furrowed, looking at him and then at me. What if he’s seeing me again? The man he can no longer have? I try to keep my face neutral as Sam’s hand envelopes Ollie’s and shakes it, their eyes locking.
Look, I could be happy for Ollie. I could begrudgingly go to the wedding and see the pair marry. But how embarrassing would it be to go alone? Would it be bad to pretend I’m with Sam so I can save face and maybe try to make Ollie jealous?
Sam wraps his arm tight around me. He smells perfect, like salted caramel.
I move my arm around him, like we do this all the time. Though my arm is dead and rigid. Sam is solid under me, marbled skin perfectly sculpted.
I hope, pray, that Ollie’s buying this. He places a kiss on Alec’s cheek. I almost break right there and then.
Sam’s fingers run over my neck.
‘How long have you been together?’
‘Six months.’
‘A year.’
We’d said it in unison, our voices clashing against one another. Alec’s head cocks to one side.
‘Oh, silly me,’ I say. ‘We didn’t go official until six months ago, but we were together longer than that.’
Please, Dionysus, let this slide and I’ll give you the biggest glass of wine ever.
‘I know what you mean,’ Alec says. ‘Sometimes it feels like you’ve known each other forever.’
He meets Ollie’s eye, and I feel a surge of anger – that should be me, not him.
‘Oh, absolutely,’ I say. ‘It’s like I’ve known Sam all my life.’
Technically, true. Though he never came up in conversation with Ollie.
‘So, Sam, you’ll be coming to the wedding, too,’ Ollie says in such a tone he would win the award for the least enthusiastic man on earth.
‘That’s right,’ Sam replies. ‘If you’ll have me.’
‘Of course.’ Alec breaks away from Ollie at last.
‘Where are you getting married?’ I ask. ‘The invite said “venue to be revealed”.’
Ollie holds out his arms and sweeps around.
‘You’re getting married here?’ I gasp. ‘On the Acropolis?’
Ollie beams, and Alec fails to hide his elation. Sam lets out a small ‘huh’.
‘That’s right,’ he says. ‘The ceremony will be in the Odeon of Herodes Atticus. There’s a restaurant across the way with a magnificent view of the Acropolis, which will be where the meal and the evening entertainment will be.’
‘Two venues?’ My shock is impossible to hide.
‘We’re very lucky,’ Alec says. ‘I have a family friend with a connection to this place who could get us in. There’s lots of paperwork, and we still have to register it legally in the UK, but it can go ahead.’
Of course, their wedding would be the wedding to end all weddings.
I mean, look at this view. The history. I bet the Ancient Greeks didn’t think two men would get married in their theatres. Only recently the Greek government made it legal for such a thing to even be legal.
A pang twists in me, one of longing and good old-fashioned sadness. This is miles away from anything I could ever have, would ever have. Even wedding-averse me can admit that this is perfect. A Greek wedding in the most quintessential Greek location ever.
And it’s all finally happening for Ollie. With someone else.
‘Well, I can’t wait,’ I say.
‘We’ll leave you to it,’ Sam says. ‘You’ve got a lot to plan.’
‘Yes, we don’t know if we can get the doves yet.’ A look of perturbed concern crosses Alec’s face. ‘We better follow up on that.’
‘A dove crisis calls,’ Ollie says.
The pair say their goodbyes, Ollie glancing back at me one final time, and I lean against one of the pillars.
Once the golden couple are out of earshot, I say to Sam, ‘Well, we should maybe talk about what just happened.’
‘I’m not sure what happened.’
‘Why did you say you were my boyfriend?’
Sam rubs his jaw. ‘Isn’t that what you wanted me to say?’
‘What gave you that impression?’
‘Alec asked if you had a plus one and then your face went all pale and then you said Sam here is my plus one…’
I pace, rubbing my hands together. ‘Yeah, like, my friendly plus one.’
‘Well, I’m sorry, Will, but a plus one means a partner and I was following your lead.’
‘My lead?’ I exclaim, stopping before him. ‘I had no lead. I was flailing around like Magikarp up there.’
‘Well, so was I. You took my hand and I thought you were asking for help, and I … I panicked.’ Sam’s mortified expression makes me want to reassure him it’s okay, but the reality of what has happened is too much to process.
‘Besides, I didn’t like the way Ollie said you wouldn’t have anyone with you. It was the assumption.’
‘So you thought saying you’re my boyfriend was the right thing to do?’ It’s ridiculous, but I have to admit it’s the sweetest thing he could have done in that situation. ‘What will your girlfriend say when you tell her you’re going to a gay wedding with a gay guy?’
Sam’s worried expression turns to confusion. ‘Girlfriend?’
‘Yes,’ I say this ever so slowly.
Wait.
Where did the girlfriend come from? Thinking back, I realise I’ve simply conjured her up. ‘You don’t have a girlfriend?’
‘I don’t have a girlfriend,’ Sam says, looking just as confused. ‘Because I’m gay.’
Well, there’s one for the Greek history books.
A win for the gays.
And this changes everything.
‘Oh, jolly good.’
I laugh it off, glad that Sam can see the funny side, but as we carry on to the Parthenon, I silently thank Dionysus and the gay gods once more.