Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
SAM
Day Two
Why the hell did I say I was Will’s boyfriend?
I felt a need to swoop in and defend my friend, like I’ve done once or twice when he was bullied in school. Maybe I should have left Will to it.
Or maybe I spotted an opportunity for a bit of summer fun.
‘I wasn’t going to bring anyone,’ Will says, an incredulous edge to his voice. He’s smiling, but his eyes are wild, like he’s panicked.
‘We can still back out of it.’
‘No,’ Will says quickly. He coughs, running a hand down his chest. ‘It’s done now. It’ll be more embarrassing to tell him we lied.’
Will whistles, a tuneless melody that I try to follow. He keeps rubbing at his chest, like he’s trying to steady his beating heart. We’ve come to a stop just outside the Propylaea, and Will’s turned his back on the Parthenon. I don’t even think he’s registered it yet.
‘I can’t believe you thought I had a girlfriend,’ I say, trying to take his mind off whatever the hell just happened.
Will scoffs, but he’s looking back in the direction Ollie and Alec have disappeared. ‘Honestly? It’s because of your apartment. It looks like a bachelor’s pad.’
‘It has been,’ I admit. ‘But not for girls.’
‘Naughty, naughty.’
‘It’s all rather down low here. Most of my exploits have been tourists.’
Will stands a little taller. ‘Why?’
‘There’s religion here, and it’s not the place for big public displays of affection.
Athens is one of the friendlier places in Greece, and things are changing, but you still have to be a little concerned.
There are more profiles on the apps with faces these days than there were before. There’s progress.’
‘All the guides said it was friendly to queer people.’
‘It is, and it isn’t,’ I say, thinking. ‘Maybe for tourists, rather than those who live here. It’s like old attitudes meeting old religion meeting different views.
It’s complex. There’s a pride parade, but we’re fighting more than we’re celebrating.
There are still homophobic attacks. We only just got legalised same-sex marriage, but there was a big protest in the Syntagma Square from those in the Church.
People weren’t happy it was legalised.’ Will still looks a little confused.
‘Think of it like this, we’re making changes at long last, and it’s going in the right direction, but there’s still a lot of oppression. ’
Will’s green eyes hold mine. ‘Do you feel like you have to hide who you are?’
I sigh. ‘Unfortunately, at times, yes, I do. It’s not like I’m not out or anything. My family know and I tell people when I feel I can trust them. If anyone were to ask me, I’d say I was gay, no problem. I’ve had some people tell me they’re surprised, though.’
I glance at Will, seeing him wince. ‘To be fair, I did assume you were straight.’
‘From my apartment,’ I joke. ‘But yeah, I guess what I’m saying is that some people have very stereotypical views of what it means to be gay, and who gay people are, and when you don’t fit that, they’re surprised when you tell them.
I’ve always felt relatively safe here in Athens, and that might be because on some level I can pass for straight, not that I’m intentionally doing that, but, for example, I don’t think I’d be safe holding your hand in public. ’
Will fiddles with the hem of his T-shirt, looking back towards the odeon. ‘Do you think they’re going to be safe?’
I know he means Ollie and Alec, and I feel my heart constrict.
‘Oh, I hope so,’ I say. ‘I’ll admit, it did worry me when you said they were marrying, but I think it’s a good sign of the progress we’re all fighting for.’
Will chews on his lip, and I worry I’ve put him off Athens, the beauty of the city. I tap him, catching his eye. ‘Hey, it’s all right. You’re safe with me. I promise. You’re safe here, too. Safe in Athens. Let’s see the history, the beauty of Athens.’
When we stand at the Parthenon, Will whistles, taking out his phone.
‘This is incredible.’
I suppose I can appreciate the beauty in it again. The sunlight glimmers on it, and Will hands me his phone, so I can take a photo of him in front of it.
‘Higher,’ he says. ‘Get my good angle.’
He observes the photos. ‘Good work.’
‘I can do things.’
Will eyes me. ‘Do you ever think about leaving? Going somewhere new?’
I look back at the Parthenon. ‘All the time.’