Chapter 50
Chapter Fifty
WILL
Day Sixteen
Clive keeps calling, but I keep ignoring him. As far as he’s concerned, I’m still down with something like the plague. Maybe sweating, as Sam and I’ve gone hiking in the middle of the day. It started out as a grey day, but soon the sun breaks through, and we regret all of our life choices.
Problem with a new member of staff.
Clive’s text also goes ignored.
We got out of the city, both of us needing some time away.
Tourist season is still in full swing, though Sam’s counting down the days to September, when the season will change and visiting numbers will drop drastically.
He gave me a ride on his Vespa, not a euphemism, and I clung tightly to his waist as he drove. I was sure we were going to fall off.
‘Where is this cave?’ I ask, as the sun beats down. I’m craving somewhere cold and dank.
‘It’s not too far now,’ Sam says, trailing ahead, his toned legs stomping over the uneven ground like it’s nothing. ‘Just keep an eye out for wolves.’
‘I’m sorry, what?’
Wolves were not on the agenda when Sam suggested we hike to Pan’s cave. We left the city in excitement, but I have to admit, my excitement is waning. It wanes even more now I’ve heard there might be wolves.
‘Nothing to worry about,’ Sam calls back, and I fear his voice will act as an attraction to the hungry wolves. ‘They mostly leave people alone.’
Mostly.
Since Sam and Lydia turned up at my hotel, things have been better for me. I thought I was giving myself solace, promising I’d get back out there, but in hindsight, I would have stayed reclusive until my flight home if they hadn’t shown up.
Still not on social media, I have seen no wedding updates.
Instead, I’ve emailed Ollie and told him I won’t be at the wedding, that there’s no way I’m going to marry them.
I got no response. So much for wanting us to be friends.
I didn’t expect a reply. No doubt he’s trying to fix things with Alec. Finding someone else to step in.
Instead, I’ve resolved to enjoy my remaining days in Athens with Sam, while also trying to work out how to make a more permanent move.
Turns out, Googling ‘how to move to Athens’ hasn’t fixed my problems. Instead, it’s confused them.
So far, a good option could be a nomad visa, which could let me work in Greece remotely for two years, providing I meet criteria after one year.
The only problem is I need a remote job to pay me at least three grand a month, and my job does not fit that bill.
My ankle almost gives way on the grassy terrain. Sam powers on, unperturbed.
‘Have you been here before?’
‘A year ago,’ Sam calls. ‘It used to be a worship site for Pan.’
‘Who is Pan?’
‘God of the wild,’ Sam replies. ‘And a gay icon.’
As I walk, I Google Pan, opening a new tab so as not to lose all the overwhelming information about Greek immigration. It presents me with images of literal pans, before I refine my search, and I’m greeted with images of a half-goat, half-man with a very large phallus.
‘He looks interesting.’ Tim would like Pan.
‘He’s a very primal god,’ Sam replies, letting me catch up with him. ‘You might see a few statues of him still dotted around the place.’
‘Why was he worshipped in a cave?’
‘Nature was the church,’ Sam says. ‘And where better to worship the god of nature than in his own domain?’
We continue to walk, not seeing a soul, just the two of us. The path descends, before disappearing all together, leaving us walking hand in hand over the rocky outcrop.
‘Is that it?’ I ask, looking into the dark mouth of what I’d assumed would be the cave entrance.
‘The very one.’
As we get closer, we climb down steps carved into stone, clutching on rope threaded through rock.
‘They get lots of people rock climbing here,’ Sam explains, glancing up at the jagged cliff edge above us. ‘But people like me would rather stay on the ground.’
‘It isn’t going to be one of those caves where you feel claustrophobic, is it?’
‘Nah, we’ll just step inside the entrance and have a sit down,’ Sam says. ‘Catch our breath. Plus, I brought food.’
‘I love food.’
My eyes take time to adjust to the dark, so I lean against the rock for support. It feels cool on the surface, but somehow, the heat has trapped itself inside. This dim clearing may as well be the wolves’ lair. I almost expect them to laugh at us.
Like hyenas.
Except they are wolves.
As Sam hands me a tuna baguette made by him, I picture a wolf leaping at us and eating our food, before eating us.
‘Well, this is nice, isn’t it?’
‘You’re on edge,’ Sam notes, getting ready to take the first bite.
‘Wolves.’
‘They won’t be in here,’ he reassures, giving me that calm Sam face.
‘Are you the wolf man or something?’
‘Do you want me to be?’
It’s just the two of us inside this cave, and unconfirmed wolves. The picture of Pan with his phallus comes to mind.
‘You can be whoever you want to be.’
He moves me back, discarding his own uneaten food, so that I’m lying on the smooth rock, and then he’s over me, holding himself up, kissing me. I wrap my legs and my arms around him as he lowers himself on top of me, the two of us as primal as Pan might want us to be.
‘You drive me crazy, Will.’
‘Isn’t that a Britney lyric?’
‘Shut up,’ Sam laughs, his lips brushing mine. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘I do.’ I reach for his lips with mine. He tastes sweet, smells like caramel. Feeling his weight on me is like wrapping myself in a blanket after a winter day. ‘And I want you.’
We still haven’t gone official, what with all my drama. We’re unnamed, like his coffee shop.
‘Sam.’
‘Yes.’
He hovers over my neck, where he’d been about to kiss, but now he looks at me, so close I can count the freckles on his face.
‘We should talk.’
‘Oh.’
He moves aside, lying next to me, and I worry I’ve broken the spell.
‘About us.’
‘Right.’
Yikes.
Why can’t I do this?
I can do this.
The new me.
‘I think I want to be your boyfriend.’
I look at him, trying to gauge his reaction. Surely it should be okay after what he said? But that was days ago now. He’s seen the drama I bring to the function. What if he’s over it, over me, already?
He beams, just as the sunlight finds its way into the cave. No wolves. Just Sam and I.
‘You do?’
‘I do,’ I say, trying hard not to think of wedding nuptials. ‘I want to be your boyfriend.’
‘My actual boyfriend?’
‘Your actual boyfriend. And I know you’re busy with your shop. I know you’ve not had much luck with anyone serious. But know that’s precisely the reason I’m going to stay, because I’m punching, and I’m okay with that if you are.’
He rests his head on my shoulder, his arm wrapping around me.
‘I want to be your boyfriend,’ he says.
‘Really?’
‘Yes, Will,’ Sam says. ‘Really. When I’m with you, my loneliness ain’t killing me no more.’
‘That is definitely a Britney lyric.’
Sam’s face is inches from mine. ‘Kiss me.’
My phone buzzes, breaking the moment, but it doesn’t matter. I am the moon, and he the sun. Nothing could break us.
The ringing sound cuts through the cave, echoing off the walls, breaking us apart. Modern day disrupting order.
A withheld number.
‘Who is it?’
‘No idea.’
‘You should answer.’
I put my phone away. ‘Not now. I’m hungry.’
We unwrap our sandwiches, and Sam pours us his own coffee from a flask, and we sit in the cave undisturbed for the rest of the afternoon, Sam’s hand finding mine. If it wasn’t for the wolves, I could stay here all night.
As we pack up to leave, I check my phone. A text from the unknown number. Sam is already ahead, beginning the brief climb out of the cave. He’s whistling, happy with what we are.
Will. We need to talk.
Ollie.