Chapter 5 #2
I glanced over in Sara’s direction. She was sitting on Abbey’s lap, both of them fast asleep. They looked so comfortable with each other, so peaceful. I felt myself smiling softly just at the sight of them, the ache in my chest loosening a bit.
Mira gently kicked my foot under the table. I looked up to find her smiling at me, her hazel eyes full of an almost motherly concern.
“You should try to get some sleep, Max. I’ll help Abbey with Sara if she wakes up.”
I nodded my thanks, closed my eyes, and tried to think of anything other than Sebastian holding hands with his fiancée just a few feet behind me.
◆◆◆
I had wanted to be a musician for two reasons: to create music, and to share it with people all over the world.
I hadn’t realized how much I missed touring until we were thousands of miles away, on the other side of globe, wandering around the first of our Australian festival shows.
I’ve always found festivals to be pretty hit or miss.
They’re great for catching up with old friends, other bands and road crew that you don’t get to see often because your paths seldom cross on the road.
It’s also a good opportunity to scope out some new bands, too.
Festivals in general usually have a pretty cool vibe, like a big summer camp.
The downside is you only get to play for 45 minutes or so depending on where you are on the bill (cue endless squabbling about our setlist) and if you’re not headlining, you don’t get to soundcheck.
So you’re mostly just hanging around for hours waiting to play.
It’s usually worth it – the rush of being on stage, in front of thousands of people, it’s always awesome.
Having Sara at a festival with me was a totally different experience.
It was her first time at an event like that, and her eyes were like dinner plates the whole time.
Abbey and I walked her around the festival site together, holding tightly to her hands as she stomped around in her little rain boots.
The ground was dry so she didn’t really need them, but she’d insisted on wearing them in case there were any rogue puddles around that had be splashed in.
We were heading back to the artist’s area to grab some lunch when we ran into Sebastian.
I’d caught a glimpse of him on our way out to explore the festival grounds; he’d been holding court amongst a bunch of starry-eyed hangers on.
Myah had been there, clinging on to one of his arms and gazing up at him like he’d hung the moon.
I tried not to judge her too harshly, I knew I’d given Sebastian a look like that on more than one occasion. He kind of has that effect on everyone.
That morning, he’d been wearing ripped jeans and a faded My Chemical Romance shirt – a world away from the designer threads he was usually photographed in.
His hair had been falling around his beaming face in loose waves.
There’d been an almost childlike excitement in his eyes, he was clearly thrilled to be back on tour.
It was like someone had flipped a switch, stripping away effortlessly cool Sebastian the rockstar to reveal Sebastian, the guy who was just excited to play with his band, underneath.
Yet even with all the pretentiousness peeled away, people were still drawn to him.
People still wanted to talk to him, to listen to him, crowding around him and hanging on his every word.
It was so different from how things had been the last time we’d toured together that it actually unsettled me a little bit.
That was why I’d been so keen to take Sara on a tour of the festival ground, I couldn’t stand there and watch as people discovered the real Sebastian, the one I’d thought had been gone forever.
“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Sara piped up, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Ok kiddo,” I nodded, grateful of the distraction. “What do you want to eat? ”
She began rattling off a long and winding list of foods she would like to eat, running the whole gamut from broccoli to pizza and back again. I kept up with her chattering, offering my own opinions on the various vegetables she characterised as “good”, “normal” and “just evil”.
We swung by the catering tent. Mira, Annabelle, Shep and Kelly were already there, picking idly at their own plates of food while they talked about the festival. I left Sara and Abbey at the table with them while I went to get something to eat.
I grabbed a fruit salad and some yoghurt for Sara and Abbey, who was taking another stab at vegetarianism. I was contemplating a slice of the frankly depressing looking pizza when I felt a familiar gaze on me.
Sebastian was standing beside me, like he’d just materialized out of thin air, staring down at the food with his tongue peeking out from between his perfectly white teeth. He was concentrating on the trays of food so hard it was almost like he expected it to start talking to him.
“Hey,” I offered quietly, tightening my grip on my plastic tray.
“Hi,” he murmured in reply, smiling softly at me like we were back in one of the many motel rooms we’d hidden away in .
“Where is everyone?” I glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see Myah, his bandmates and his many admirers trailing behind him. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you alone all day.”
“The guys are doing an interview. Myah’s off doing yoga with some influencers she met today,” he explained with a shrug. “I saw you showing Sara around, how’s she liking it so far?”
“She’s having a great time,” I told him, smiling in spite of the nervous twist in my stomach. “I don’t think I’ve seen her this excited since I took her to meet a department store Santa back home. She’s never seen so much body glitter in her life; I think it’s giving her ideas.”
This was the first time we’d spoken more than two words to each other since he introduced me to Myah, and it felt like walking through a minefield – every syllable had the potential to blow up in my face. Still, Sara was usually a safe topic of conversation.
“Better keep her away from my bus then,” he said with a smirk. “I have a shit ton of body glitter on there. All different colors.”
“You do not,” I laughed in spite of myself. “What are you going to do with it?”
“Gonna be a sparkly son of a bitch this whole tour. ”
I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not and the laughter that bubbled out of his chest at the sight of my stunned face didn’t really clear matters up.
He picked up a plate of pizza and placed it carefully on his tray, sucking his plump bottom lip into his mouth to chew nervously on it while he glanced around the tent.
I’d decided, on that god awful flight, that I was going to keep Sebastian at arm’s length for the whole tour.
It wouldn’t be particularly difficult; so much time on the road is spent traveling, which he’d be doing in his own bus with his own band.
Burning Bright probably had a lot of press obligations too, seeing as how they were headlining one of the biggest tours in the world.
He’d be busy, and I’d be busy, and it’d be fine.
But then I saw the lost look on his face as he realized he didn’t really know anyone crammed round the tables in the catering tent and I knew my plan was going to be harder to execute than I first thought.
“Hey, do you wanna sit with us?” I asked him, trying not to sound terrified by the prospect.
“Really? I don’t wanna intrude…”
He was smiling that soft, nervous smile again – the one I’d been intimately acquainted with, a half decade before. I was powerless in the face of that smile, and I’m pretty sure Sebastian knew that. Had always known it.
“I wouldn’t invite you to sit with us if I didn’t want you to,” I pointed out with an indignant little huff. I’m not exactly known for being diplomatic, after all.
“I suppose,” he nodded. “Sure, I’d love to. Lead the way.”
Absolutely no one in my band was surprised when Sebastian dropped into the empty seat beside me, beaming like a freshman who’d been asked to sit at the popular kids table.
If he noticed the people just openly staring at us sitting together, he didn’t acknowledge it.
I could feel at least a dozen pairs of eyes on us, could almost hear the whispers – so, the feud’s over?
Was it ever real or just a ploy for clickbait?
Did Reliant sell out their morals just to land a big tour with a band they supposedly hate?
I shook it off, forcing myself to be present in the moment.
I was thousands of miles away from home, in an awesome country on the other side of the world, getting ready to play my music for thousands of people.
I was with my best friends, with my daughter.
And even if the pizza was shitty, it was free, so I had nothing to complain about.
“Daddy, I don’t want these,” Sara said, holding up some apple slices that she’d fished out from her bowl. She had yoghurt all over her hands, but that seemingly didn’t bother her as much as the apples.
“You like apples,” I told her, frantically scanning my memories for whenever this sudden change to her acceptable fruits list occurred.
“That was last week,” she replied with a roll of her bright blue eyes. She looked so like me in that moment that I didn’t know whether to be proud or horrified.
“Musta missed the memo, sweetie. You sure you don’t want to give them a go?”
She gave the offending slices a dubious glance, clearly thinking it over very carefully. Sebastian leaned over the table, smiling so wide I wondered if it made his face hurt.
“I love apples,” he said with a shrug. “Why don’t we share ‘em? Gets them gone in half the time.”
Sara beamed at his suggestion, positively glowing in the light of his attention. It made my stomach lurch. Sebastian was such a natural with her, and she clearly adored him because of course she did. Even kids aren’t immune to his god damn dimples.
“Okay! ”