Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
Autumn stood just inside the doorway, hesitant to do or say anything. Noah, oblivious that she’d come inside despite her knock on the door and the click when it opened, ended the call and simply stood there.
The weight of the room seemed to press down on his broad shoulders. A huge part of her wanted to close the space between them and offer him whatever comfort she could.
The rest of her realized that would be the last thing he’d want from her.
Noah’s chest rose and fell on a deep, deliberate breath. He pinched the bridge of his nose, hard, in a gesture she knew all too well. It was his tell.
And she couldn’t help herself.
Maybe it was the sound of her shoes dragging across the carpet, or maybe some other tell-tale noise that tipped him off, but before Autumn could reach him, Noah whirled to face her.
Sadness dragged at the corners of his mouth even as anger and exhaustion dulled his eyes.
His words were rough and pointed. “What do you want?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Then you shouldn’t have. What happened to knocking?”
Logically, Autumn realized he was lashing out because he was clearly upset and she was standing before him, an easy target. But the accusation in his voice still stung. It really shouldn’t have, but it did.
Autumn took a deep, centering breath of her own before she said, “I knocked. And interrupted to tell you we’re done with the meeting. Your grandparents asked me to let you know they’re going to enjoy the grounds for a little while.”
“Great.” His growl of impatience had Autumn’s eyebrows shooting straight up. “What am I supposed to do until they’re done?”
That phone call must have been a doozy. He’d never shared specific details with her, but she knew his home life hadn’t been great. Everyone knew his father was an asshole. Harry and Ed, his mother’s parents, had been Noah’s safe space. Autumn had only ever known him to be kind and careful with them.
Of course, she could hardly claim to know the man now. People changed, and not always for the better. Maybe becoming a bigshot football star had left him jaded and self-centered.
Not that it was her place to comment.
Biting back the sarcastic retort Autumn wanted to give him, she pasted a tight smile across her lips. “You’re welcome to use this office if you need, or you can take advantage of the grounds as well. The walking trails are gorgeous this time of year and the weather is pretty nice at the moment for mid-December.”
Noah’s blue eyes softened. With a sigh, he dropped into the chair waiting behind the desk. “I’m sorry. You’re an easy target for a shitty day, but that isn’t fair.”
Okay, maybe he wasn’t so different from the boy she remembered. Autumn’s hands clenched into tight fists at her side, not because she was still frustrated, but because old instinct had her palms tingling with the need to reach out and touch him.
Not smart.
Instead, she crossed her arms and purposely stayed by the door…all the way across the room.
“What little I heard, that didn’t sound like a pleasant phone call.”
His mouth quirked into a self-deprecating smile. “No, it’s never fun getting fired.”
“Surely, another team will scoop you up. You were one of the most successful quarterbacks in the league until your injury at the beginning of the season.”
Noah shook his head, sorrow dragging at his all-American features. “Were. Past tense. I’ve seen the best specialists in the country. There’s only so many miracles modern medicine can perform. My arm will never be the same.”
Autumn’s stomach flipped. She’d watched the game that night. Everyone in town had. The memory of his injury… The tackle had been brutal, a pile of men landing on top of him. And when that pile had cleared, Noah had been left on the turf, his throwing arm clearly at an odd angle.
“My shoulder had to be completely reconstructed. I had three separate breaks down the bones in my arm.” He held his hand out, staring at it as he opened and closed his fist.
“You can clearly use it.”
An unhappy smile pulled at his lips. “Sure, I can use it, and that alone is amazing.”
“Maybe you just need more time to heal. It’s only been a few months.”
He shook his head. “Yes, I’ll be able to throw a football again, but never like I could before. There was just too much damage.”
“How do you know until you try?”
This time, the smile on his face was real. “Ever the same, optimistic Autumn. It’s good to know you haven’t changed.”
“Oh, I’ve changed. Everyone does.”
Noah’s gaze was clear and direct. “Not the important things.”
Autumn brushed off his words. “Why are they doing this now?”
“Marcus is doing well.”
Noah’s injury dashed everyone’s hopes for a three-peat Superbowl win. Marcus, his back-up, had done well enough the rest of the season, but he was no Noah Woodson. They’d won all but one game, but the wins had been ugly and too close for comfort. Luck had played in their favor, but sooner or later that would run out.
“The team has a shot in the playoffs, but if something happens to Marcus, they’re going to be SOL. I get why they’re making room to bring in someone else.”
“Doesn’t make it hurt less.”
Noah shook his head.
“I’m so sorry.” What else could she say? Playing in the NFL had been Noah’s dream for as long as she’d known him. It had been more important than everything, including her.
“What are you going to do now?”
Noah leaned back into the chair, letting it take his full weight. “That’s the million-dollar question. I have no idea. It wasn’t like I’d planned for my career to be over this early. I thought I had at least another five years. Maybe more.”
“What about consulting? Or coaching? Or even commentary? You’re handsome and charismatic enough to pull that off.”
Noah’s eyebrows winged up and a bold grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “I am, huh?”
Autumn rolled her eyes and willed her skin not to heat with a tell-tale blush. “You know you’re handsome. You always have been, so stop fishing for compliments.”
His head cocked to the side. “I never had to fish for them from you before.”
“Yeah, well,” her shoulders rose and fell, “that was a long time ago.”
The mirth in his gaze fizzled out. “Yes, it was.”
Autumn stared at him for several seconds. A weird sensation flowed through her…like the conversation wasn’t finished, but she didn’t feel right offering anything more. Finally, she said, “Why don’t you follow me? I’ll take you to your grandparents.”
“I don’t want to interrupt their afternoon stroll. Why don’t you show me the resort instead?”
Because of course she had nothing better to do than to give him a tour of the place. No, she didn’t have twenty little details to handle for the party he was throwing, let alone the four other major events she had in the next two weeks.
There was a huge part of her that wanted to say no. Knew that it was the smart thing. He’d walk out the door today, she’d see him again in a few days for the party and then…never again outside her television screen.
But there was a tiny part, a small kernel deep inside that remembered how they used to be. And apparently, that piece was firmly in charge today.
“All right.”
Her answer surprised him. The expression on her face said it might have surprised her as well.
But Noah wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Right now, the last thing he needed was to be alone with his thoughts. Tomorrow would be soon enough to deal with the collapse of his career…and identity.
Without another word, Autumn spun on her heel and disappeared out the door. He trailed slowly behind as she stepped into her office. Perching on the edge of the sofa she flicked the three-inch black patent leather heels off her feet and replaced them with sensible walking shoes.
Leaning against the jamb, Noah couldn’t stop his gaze from traveling across the rounded curve of her calves. Or the sliver of skin as the hem of her skirt traveled up her thigh. The picture of the straightlaced business attire capped off with the gray and blue tennis shoes should have clashed. But somehow, the whole thing worked.
“You could probably tackle a marathon in that outfit, couldn’t you?”
Popping a hand on her hip, she said, “I could’ve run the marathon in my heels, but the rain and sleet the last few days have made the grounds a little treacherous.”
“We wouldn’t want you to slip and fall.”
“No, we wouldn’t.” Sweeping her hand out in front of her, Autumn indicated he should lead the way.
It was easy, falling into step beside her as they wandered down the hall of offices and back out into the soaring lobby. The resort really was a wonder. New since he’d left, but still somehow maintaining a feeling like it had been there for centuries. Part of the landscape.
As if sensing where his thoughts had gone, Autumn began narrating. She shared background about the owners, architects and artists who’d help create the place. Shared more about the culture and amenities. In short, she sounded like a well-rehearsed pitch. No doubt, one she’d given several times to prospective clients.
Leaning close, he said, “You don’t have to sell me. We’ve already booked the resort for the party.”
Autumn’s mouth tightened even as her skin went slightly pink. Tossing him a glare, she headed to the vast expanse of windows that soared three stories high and spanned the entire back wall.
Pushing against one of the doors, Autumn walked out onto the flagstone patio. Even in December, quaint metal bistro sets were scattered across the space. A huge firepit squatted in the center, eight Adirondack chairs ringed around it. A welcoming fire roared inside. A bar was situated at the end of the outdoor space, clearly set up to provide hot chocolate, coffee, snacks and fixings for s’mores should any of the guests want something.
Several people, including a younger couple, a family with three school-aged children and an older gentleman, all crowded around the firepit. They were laughing and talking. Clearly, not together, but interacting and sharing the moment of roasting marshmallows.
One child cried out as his marshmallow melted straight off the stick, dying with a tell-tale hiss as it hit the glowing embers of the fire. The dad crouched down, murmuring something in the little boy’s ear. With gentle fingers, he wiped the tear rolling down his son’s chubby cheek, plopped another marshmallow onto the end of his stick and pointed him back in the direction of the fire pit.
A tight knot formed in the center of Noah’s chest. He rubbed at the knot absentmindedly as he watched the scene play out before him. His father would have screamed and caused a scene…if he’d bothered to take the time to be there in the first place.
“Cute family,” Autumn mused.
“Sure.”
“Ever want some of your own?”
Noah’s head whipped around to find Autumn staring at the same scene he was, longing and wonder filling her face.
The knot in his chest tightened, so he rubbed harder. “You know I wouldn’t know the first thing about being a good dad.”
Her mouth tightened and a bemused expression filled her golden eyes. “I’ve always thought you’d make an excellent dad. You were great with your young cousins…even when they were pestering pains in the ass.”
A chuckle escaped past the constriction in his ribs. “They were harmless.”
“They worshipped the ground you walked on.”
“Now you’re just exaggerating.”
“Please.” Autumn rolled her eyes and headed for the path leading off the patio, out into the dense forest that butted up to the edge of the lake.
The far side had been cleared for easy access to the water, but this side had been left natural and wild. Clearly, someone maintained the paths because the ground was clear and well-packed, the underbrush maintained and cut back.
Only a few feet down the path and the entire world seemed to disappear. Even with the winter thinning, trees shot up to block out the late afternoon sunlight. Stray beams struggled through, striping the dirt path in front of him.
Noah didn’t feel the need to hurry, not here, not now. For a man used to staying busy and using physical activity as an escape, silence typically weighed on him. Left him feeling uncomfortable.
But not today.
Today, he was content to let Autumn lead the way as he slowly followed. He had no idea where they were going, and really didn’t care. His lungs filled with the crisp scent of chilled pine and damp air.
Noah reached for his shoulder, absentmindedly rubbing the aching joint before he realized what he was doing. It was going to rain again. Or maybe they’d get a few snowflakes.
After several minutes, Noah’s mind started to wander…and so did his gaze. But instead of meandering like his thoughts, his eyes went straight to the woman several feet in front of him. Her navy skirt clung to the curve of her ass. Her upper thighs bunched and pulled with each step.
And it wasn’t long until memories popped into his brain, not that they’d been far away. They’d been there, just on the edges, from the moment he’d seen her standing in that lobby.
Nights wrapped up in a blanket in the bed of his truck staring up at the stars together…until they’d shifted focus from the heavens above to each other. The feel of her soft hands running over his tight skin. The brush of her breath against his neck. The way her fingers dug into the muscles of his back when he'd pushed deep inside her.
That little moaning sound she liked to make when he stroked her.
Noah shifted his gait, trying to relieve the sudden pressure behind the fly of his jeans. It was a good thing she wasn’t paying him any attention.
They’d always fit together. Perfectly. Not just physically, but a good foil for each other. Autumn complimented him. She calmed him when he needed it and he pushed her outside her comfort zone when she’d needed a nudge.
And, God, she’d grown into an amazing woman. Of course, he always knew she would. She was strong, capable, gorgeous and smart.
“Why don’t you have any?” The question popped out of his mouth, bridging the space between them, before he’d even let the thought fully form.
Autumn’s steps faltered, rustling the leaves strewn across the ground. “I’m sorry?” she asked, over her shoulder.
She’d heard him, but he asked the question again anyway. “Why don’t you have any kids?”
Her eyes darted up and away. Avoiding him or avoiding the question?
“It just hasn’t been right.” A soft smile tugged at her lips. “I have two surrogate nieces and a nephew though. Cindy’s kids.”
That she clearly adored.
“I’d like some though. A couple. I missed having siblings and I definitely want that for my kids. What about you?”
Noah stared up at the canopy overhead. “I haven’t really thought about it.” Which was a lie, but one he wasn’t about to admit to.
He’d watched his teammates and friends struggle to balance this career with family. The constant travel. The media scrutiny. It seemed hard enough to keep everything together when you knew what you were doing.
And he had no clue. His own dad had been verbally and physically abusive. Oh, the asshole had been careful, never leaving marks on him or his mom that anyone would notice.
Ed and Harry had never liked his dad, but they didn’t know the full extent. His mom kept the abuse secret even from them until she’d finally left while Noah was in college.
It had taken him years to forgive his mom for not protecting him. As an adult, he’d finally realized she’d been little more than a kid herself when she’d gotten married and the abuse had started. A cycle she hadn’t been strong enough to break.
“You have a little more in you?” Autumn’s voice broke through the unpleasant memories.
“Of course. My arm is shot, not my legs.”
Shaking her head, Autumn pointed them both back down the path. This time, she didn’t rush to move ahead, but fell into a comfortable pace beside him.
It wasn’t long until a low rumble built to a dull roar. Ahead, Noah could see a brighter patch of sunlight indicating an opening in the forest.
But it wasn’t until they walked through the trees and into a clearing that he realized where they were.
Ahead of them, a small waterfall thundered. The stream was swollen and rushing, not just from the weather they’d gotten the last few days, but some melt off the mountains in the distance. While it had rained down here, it had snowed up there, but even at elevation the temperatures weren’t enough to keep the powder on the ground for long.
Without looking at her, Noah said, “I didn’t realize this was on the resort property.”
Autumn shrugged, long forgotten memories tugging at the corners of her mouth. Cutting him a side-long glance, she said, “We weren’t the only ones who snuck out here to cavort under the waterfall and take advantage of the forest’s privacy.”