25. Aurora
25
AURORA
ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE
“T his is so stupid. I’m so stupid,” I muttered under my breath as I paced the kitchen floor.
I wasn’t a stellar cook, but the chicken didn’t smell half bad. It was fully cooked and I was confident I wouldn’t give Jack food poisoning.
That was, if he ever showed up.
Granted, I hadn’t exactly told him that I was planning to cook us both lunch. It’s not like it was something I usually did. In fact, Jack cooked for me more than I cooked for myself. I couldn’t fault him for not knowing that I was waiting for him.
Maybe I was stupid for relying on the unspoken routine we had established. Maybe those things actually had to be spoken. It’s not like we were in a relationship relationship. We were just monogamously hooking up and becoming emotionally available. We just spent every non-working hour together. That wasn’t a relationship.
Was it?
It was more than what I’d had before.
Jack was supposed to get off duty this morning. If the pattern of behavior had continued, he would have come over to the house to check on me when he got home, gone back to his place to sleep a little, and then come back over in the afternoon.
It was nearing one in the afternoon, and his truck still hadn’t appeared in the driveway.
I would have texted the man, but I didn’t have his number. Who needed to exchange phone numbers when you were constantly within shouting distance of each other?
Okay, it was definitely not a relationship if I didn’t have his number. Exchanging phone numbers was Dating 101. I was still somewhere around orientation.
The chicken, with its picturesque grill marks and beautifully charred marinade, was probably cold by now. I had been salivating over the grilled corn, but now it was starting to lose moisture and shrivel since it had been sitting out for so long.
The room-temperature meal was an insult punctuating the day. Jack had spent the night with me, breaking in my new bed, whispering all these beautifully heartfelt promises of how much he wanted me to give him a real chance.
And then he didn’t come home.
Why hadn’t he come home yet? And why was I calling my great-aunt’s house “home?”
Something started to eat at me. An inkling of worry started to override the doubt.
I didn’t even bother clearing the dinner spread off the table and squeezing it into the fridge. I grabbed my keys, slid on my flip-flops, and jogged down the stairs to my car.
I’d probably pass him on the road and we’d laugh about it. Maybe he had gone to Drew’s house after work. Maybe he had plans. Who was I to demand to know where he was every minute of the day?
Jack would probably show up right as I set foot in the driveway, and we’d laugh about it.
But he didn’t show.
Instead of the rumble of a diesel engine, the only sound for miles was the crash of ocean waves and the ambient peals of laughter from beachgoers.
This was the part in the story where a tumbleweed usually blew by.
Fuck it.
I hopped in my car and made the drive to the Cedar Island Fire Department .
I let out a sigh of relief when I spotted Jack’s truck in the parking lot. Maybe he was still clocked in and was covering for someone. Maybe they were short-staffed and he had to stick around.
That made me feel a little less stupid about attempting to cook a proper meal for him.
Shit. Did I snuff out the coals in the bottom of the grill completely? I had done everything Jack always waxed poetic about—keeping the grill far enough away from structures and dry grass. Always watching over it; never leaving it unattended. Always having a bucket of sand and a bucket of water at the ready.
No, I had definitely put the embers out. They were probably still swimming in seawater. I’d have to clean it out later.
My heart lodged in my throat as I slowed to make the turn into the parking lot. Should I just do a drive-by? He was obviously there. Should I actually go inside and check on him or was that stage-five clinger of me?
Drew spotted my car from an open garage bay and lifted his hand, waving me in.
Crap.
It was too late to bolt. If I did, I’d just be the weird stalker driving by my neighbor’s workplace.
I could always use the excuse that I was on my way to the Fish ‘n Fuel , except I had already passed it.
I pulled into the empty space beside Jack’s truck and cursed the fact that I had even left the house to begin with. Nothing good ever came from leaving the house.
“Hey,” Drew said as he jogged out to meet me. “ How is he?”
My heart sank. “ What are you talking about?” I glanced at Jack’s truck, then back at the worry that was painted across Drew’s face.
Drew’s eyebrows furrowed together. “ You don’t . . . You don’t know? I figured you were coming to get Jack’s truck.”
I pressed my fingers to my temples. “ I was coming to see if he was still at work or something. He didn’t come home this morning.”
Drew looked at me like I was intentionally dense. “ Jack’s in the hospital.”
“ What ?” I shrieked before I could temper the reaction.
“He said he was gonna call you. I thought he would have?—”
“We haven’t exchanged numbers,” I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose.
Drew scrubbed his palms down his face. “ Shit . I’m sorry. I would have come by your place and told you myself.”
“What happened?”
He sighed. “ Structure fire overnight. We were mutual aid with the Beaufort FD . He was clearing rooms when the second floor caved in.”
I stumbled back, but Drew’s arm shot out and caught me. “ Oh my god,” I whispered as panic began to wrap around me like a fur coat in the middle of summer.
“He’s all right. Last I heard, he had some burns and was dealing with smoke inhalation. Might have tweaked his shoulder. The dumbass gave the vic his breathing apparatus.”
I was going to throw up. The mere thought of Jack doing something so heroically reckless was nauseating.
“Where is he?”
I stared at Jack’s truck while Drew plugged the hospital address into my phone. Was he okay? How long was he going to be in the hospital? Did he need anything? Would it be weird if I showed up?
“I’m not sure I should bother him,” I said when Drew handed my phone back.
“Trust me. After a night like we had, he’ll want to see you,” Drew said. “ I put his number in your contacts. And mine. Just in case you need anything. Let me know how he really is. That son of a bitch will say he’s fine when he’s really on his deathbed.”
“Thanks,” I croaked as I slipped back into my car.
Drew gave the hood a pat and waved me off as he walked back into the station.
The drive to Morehead City went by in a blur. I could have run every red light and blown through every stop sign and would have been none the wiser. I pulled into the packed lot of Carteret Presbyterian and jogged into the emergency department with my flip-flops snapping like a battle drummer.
I hated the smell of hospitals. It was probably supposed to smell clean and sterile, but it made me sick to my stomach. I had the distinct notion that every surface was covered in some incurable infection, and did my best not to touch anything.
I hurried up to the front desk and stood anxiously in line, trying not to breathe in the ambient sneezes and coughs. What was I supposed to say? I think my not-boyfriend is here? Can I see him? I don’t know if he wants to see me.
“Hi, how can I help you?” the nurse behind the desk asked.
“Um, my neighbor was admitted. He’s a firefighter. I just came to?—”
“Right. I was here when he was brought in. Give me a sec to call back and someone will come get you. What’s your name?”
“Aurora Whitlock ,” I said before thanking her and stepping aside to wring my hands together.
A few minutes later, a nurse poked her head out of the double doors and called my name. I hurried through the doors and followed her through the maze of nurses’ stations and kiosks to a glass room with the curtains drawn for privacy.
She opened the door and slipped in.
“Looks like you have a visitor,” she said to Jack .
The nurse stepped aside, and I saw him. Soot smeared his face like someone had tried to wipe it off but failed. His arm was in a sling, and his hand was wrapped in gauze and tape.
“Jack . . .” His name slipped from my mouth without a second thought.
His face lifted in surprise. “ Roar .”
“Well,” the nurse said. “ This seems friendly enough. Call me if you need something, Jack . The doctor should be doing rounds soon and we’ll see about getting you out of here.”
“Thanks, Melissa ,” he said weakly as he punched a button on the side of the bed to raise it to a sitting position.
The heavy door closing behind me was like a shotgun blast.
“What happened?” I croaked as the sight of him set in. Jack looked like he had walked through hell and back.
A soft smile floated across his mouth. He looked fucking exhausted. “ If I didn’t know better, I’d say it sounds like you care about me, Roar .”
“Of course I care,” I whispered as tears flooded my eyes.
Jack opened his good arm, beckoning me in. “ Come here.”
I hurried to him, easing on to the side of the bed so I could be as close to him as humanly possible. “ When Drew told me that?—”
“Drew?”
I nodded. “ I got a little worried when you didn’t come home, so I went by the station.” I raised my hands in defense. “ Which I totally get that it sounds super stalkerish and very clingy. I swear I’m not a stalker. I was just worried.” I sighed. “ Drew told me what happened and gave me the name of the hospital.”
Jack wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side. An oxygen mask had been discarded on his lap. I wasn’t sure if the nurses had done that, or if he had gotten tired of the damn thing.
“I would have called you, but I’m an idiot and didn’t get your number the day we met.”
“To be fair, I didn’t like you very much that day.”
He hummed under his breath. “ And has that changed?”
I rested my head on his good shoulder and closed my eyes. “ Very much.”
Jack kissed my forehead. “ Good . But for the record, I need your number.”
“Drew gave me yours. I’ll text you.”
Jack’s arm tightened around me. “ Thanks for coming. I’m glad you’re here.”
“I hope it’s not weird,” I mumbled.
“Roar, this has been the best part of my day. Now , if I could just get out of here . . .”
“What happened?” I asked.
The look on his face said he wouldn’t be apologizing or explaining. To some extent, I respected that. But it also made me worry.
“I was just doing my job,” he said. “ Nothing more than that.”
“But Drew said?—”
“Roar.” Jack paused when his words made him break into a coughing fit. “ It’s my job. I did my job. That’s all. I wasn’t heroic. I wasn’t stupid. It was just another day at the office. It just happened to be a really shitty day at the office.”
“I know,” I said. “ I understand that. But I’ll still worry. Can you be okay with that?”
“Yeah.” He tipped my chin up and pecked my lips. “ I like the idea of having someone worry about me.”
We didn’t rehash the day. Jack had stowed the shift’s events away in neat little compartments. From the look of it, he had a process to work through what he saw on a daily basis. Coping mechanisms that were finely honed after years of seeing humanity on their worst days.
“Let me know if you’re not okay. I’ll be there,” I promised.
“I know you will be.” Jack yawned. “ Seeing you walk through that door was the best part of my day. All I could think about was waking up with you in my arms yesterday morning, and that I’d do anything to get back home to you. I just wanted to hold you.”
I curled into him. Even though he was hurting, he held me.