31 - NAZÁR
31
NAZáR
“W e know that it’s been hard on you these last few years,” André Fouché, Bella’s father, says.
“And we know we didn’t make it easy for you,” Danielle Fouché adds.
“No, you didn’t.”
I refuse to make this easy for them after all the cruel things they said to me and about me right after her passing.
“You must understand that it was also a difficult time for us. Bella was our only child. We knew from a young age that she was destined for greatness,” André says.
Danielle nods eagerly. “She was always dressing up and pretending to be someone else. She would mimic our words from the age of two. By the time she was five, she was making up all these names for herself.”
“By the time she was ten, she would pretend she was someone else living a different life with different experiences,” André says.
“I don’t know what it’s like to lose your child,” I say. “I’ve never been blessed to have one of my own, so I cannot imagine your pain. The only thing that I know is that you two didn’t only lose a child, but I lost my partner, my best friend, my wife . . . my soul mate. It was hard enough dealing with my emotions, but when the two of you compounded that with your personal issues, it was more than I could take.”
“Again, Nazár, we’re both sorry for that. Would you please forgive us?” Danielle asks.
“I can and I will because it’s what Bella would have wanted. She always wanted us to be close and to get along. It was important to her that I get along with the two of you. It’s why I overlooked the innuendoes that I was using her to get new business contracts, or that I didn’t love her, or was jealous of her.”
“Again, we were grieving,” Danielle says.
“With all due respect, Mrs. Fouché, those were the words that you spoke while your daughter was still alive. They don’t hold a candle to what you said to me after her passing.”
André looks away and grabs his wife’s hand while she squirms uncomfortably in her seat.
“You are right, Nazár. We were not happy about your marriage to Bella, and when she passed, it only made it worse.”
Looking around the café that’s a block from my hotel, Le Bristol Paris, on Rue de Faubourg Saint-Honoré, I ask, “Why did you invite me here today?”
“I called and checked with your assistant about two weeks ago, and she said that you refused to meet with us. I called again last week, and she advised that you would be traveling to Paris this week for business.”
“I’m aware of your calls to Leona,” I say, thinking of the many times she pestered me to meet with them.
“We hoped that you would meet with us so that we could lay this désaccord to rest,” Danielle says.
“I no longer have a disagreement with the two of you. When we laid my wife to rest, I laid aside any personal feelings or attachments to you both,” I say.
They both look at each other and then back at me with a plea in their eyes.
“The ceremony for Bella receiving a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame will be next year.”
“I am well aware of that.”
“We thought that maybe . . .” Danielle pauses.
“Should you be there?” André boldly asks.
Sitting back in my seat, I nod. “Now we’re getting to the real reason for the numerous phone calls and emails.”
“We would just like our daughter’s recognition to not be accompanied by all the rumors and scandalous allegations that come with your presence,” André says.
“Do you not think it would be more scandalous if I were not there, especially considering things are finally blowing over? I’m receiving more sympathy from the public than ever before. Not that I want or need it, but I say that to say I doubt there will be scandal following my appearance at her ceremony. If anything, my absence will prompt the drama to stir once more,” I say, lifting an eyebrow. “Especially if the public gets wind of her parents asking me to stay away.”
Danielle inhales and holds her breath until her face almost turns red. Shaking her head, she turns to her husband.
“What is it that you need to keep you away?” André asks.
Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on the table and steeple my fingers. “I don’t know if I will be there or not. What I can promise you is that if I do attend, I will stay as far away from you two as possible. I’m no more interested in drama or scandal than either of you. There will be no disputes, discord, or, as you said in French, désaccord, from me. How you carry yourselves is strictly up to you.”
I stand and button my suit jacket.
“André, Danielle, it was good seeing you both again,” I say, pushing my chair under the table.
I leave them behind and step out into the breezy, sunny evening. That’s another chapter of my life that it’s time to close. Now, I’m ready for new ventures.
I toss my jacket over the back of the couch. Pouring a drink, I head into the bedroom and undress just as the phone rings.
Smiling when I pick it up, I say, “Hi, Anyssa.”
“Hello. You know why I’m calling.”
Laughing, I reply, “I just returned to my hotel suite.”
“Oh, do you want me to call you back?”
“No,” I reply, removing my cuff links and unbuttoning my shirt sleeves. “You already know that I was expecting your call.”
Since the first call that we had when I called to thank her, I’ve spoken with Anyssa three times every week. It’s been a month since we first began talking again, and I’ve enjoyed every call.
We spend at least an hour on each call catching up on what’s happening in each other’s lives. She shares where she’s traveling with me, and I tell her about my latest adventure.
Her birthday has passed, and she says she ticked off almost every item on the list except for a few. I have no idea what those are, and she won’t share them with me.
“Were you on your best behavior?” she asks now.
“I was.”
I sit on the bed, remove my shoes and shirt, and lie back with my whiskey glass in one hand and the phone in the other. I tell Anyssa all about my meeting with Bella’s parents and their requests.
“You’re kidding me!” Anyssa says.
“I wish I were, but they’re still just as full of themselves as they always were. I suspected the only reason they wanted to call a truce was to push me out of anything having to do with Bella.”
“You stood your ground, I hope.”
“I did.”
“Good for you.”
“Not sure that I’m going, though.”
“Why? Because of them?”
“Not that at all.”
“Then why not?”
“I’ve been honest with myself about many things lately, Anyssa. One of the hardest things I’ve had to be honest about was the state of my marriage to Bella. I felt guilty about what happened to her, but it wasn’t my fault. My wife was unhappy for a long time, and I couldn’t do anything about that. We were headed for divorce one way or another. If she were still alive today, I can’t say that we would still be married. I can’t even say that her career would still be flourishing.”
“Because of the drinking?”
“Yes.”
“You know that many actors have drug and alcohol problems.”
“I know that, but her physical health was declining.”
“Oh yes. I forgot you did tell me about the cancer.”
“When I consider all that, I don’t know if I need or want to be there. But that’s next year, so I still have time to figure it out.”
“Just don’t let anyone bully you out of the opportunity.”
Laughing, I ask, “When have I ever allowed anyone to bully me?”
“I don’t recall a time.”
“How’s your family? Mom? Sister? Dad?”
She sighs. “Mommy and Camila are getting along wonderfully. My father’s health is declining more each day. I’ve made my peace with him and forgiven him for what he did. There’s no reason not to.”
“True. How are you handling the possibility of losing him?”
“Better than I expected. I mean, I just found him, and to turn around and lose him again seems so damn unfair. But then I try to tell myself that he hasn’t been here all along anyway, so am I really losing anything?”
“You are. The hope. The possibilities. The opportunity. Don’t downplay your feelings over this, Princesa.”
I can hear the smile in her voice when she replies, “I won’t.”
“How are you when things settle down and no one’s around?” I ask.
She blows out a breath, “I’m good, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you ‘guess’ and not know?”
She’s silent for several seconds.
“I don’t know how to feel, but I think about you a lot.”
“And I think about you a lot too. I miss you more than I expected to.”
“I know that you needed time. It’s just that . . . I wonder if you would ever forgive me.”
“I’ve forgiven you. The one thing that I’ve come to learn is that we all make mistakes. We all deserve forgiveness. That’s the one thing I wish I could have given Bella before she died. I think that’s why I felt so guilty for so long because she died thinking that I was angry with her. The blowup that we had was nothing nice. There’s no way that you can take things back once they’re said.
“That’s the same reason that I had to get away from you the day you left Belle Baie. I felt so betrayed, and I was so hurt that I knew if I stayed around much longer, I might explode. It wasn’t easy handling you with care . . . with my words,” I add.
“That wasn’t an easy day for me,” she says softly. “So, I know that it wasn’t for you.”
“Princesa, I apologize for how I treated your body that day. I was rough with you.”
“I handled that much better than I did your words.”
“Still, I never meant to hurt you. If I did, please forgive me. I’ve never been intimate with a woman when I wasn’t in control of my emotions.”
“Hey,” she says. “I’m a big girl. I did something very wrong; you implemented the punishment, and I took it.”
“My love, I don’t want you ever to equate me punishing you with anger. My form of punishment is meant to teach you a lesson, but it’s also a pleasurable experience. I taught you nothing useful that day.”
“And yet, still, I forgive you, Nazár.”
“I care about you deeply, Anyssa, and I hope to have you in my life. I just—”
“You don’t want to rush it this time, and you want to make sure it’s genuine.”
“Exactly. I want it to feel real this time and not that we’ve contrived something off what we thought we could have.”
“I feel the same way. It doesn’t ease the ache of missing and being with you, though.”
“Not for me either, Princesa. We will be together again someday soon.”
We talk longer, reminiscing on scenes we’ve enacted in the past, our dinners, and our time at the waterfall.
When I ended our call that night, she left me with plenty of good thoughts.