32 - ANYSSA
32
ANYSSA
ANYSSA’S THIRTY-BEFORE-THIRTY LIST
“D id you ever want to do anything else?” my father asks.
Sighing, I smile and say, “No. I always wanted to be a reporter. Mommy always said I would make a good one because I talked too much and told everything.”
Laughing, he says, “Cami was just the opposite. She’s quiet and holds too much inside.”
“You have to have some outlet, or you’ll get stressed out,” I say.
“Don’t I know it,” he mumbles before his hacking cough starts up. “So, tell me about Venezuela.”
“Of all the places in the world, why that location?” I ask.
“Why not that location?”
I smile and plunge into the details of my two-week vacation in Venezuela last year. He smiles when I describe the architectural beauty of the Minor Basilica of our Lady of the Valley, laughs about the extensive workout I received during my hike through Avila National Park, and stares in awe at my photos of Angel Falls.
“You live a beautiful life,” he whispers.
“I live the only life that I know.”
“Did your mom travel much?” he asks, reaching for my hand.
I take his in mine and shake my head. “No, she didn’t. She was too scared to go anywhere once we settled in Georgia. That’s why it was so important to me to travel, see the world, and never settle in one place for long.”
“I thought you had a place there.”
“I do, but I’m seldom there. I get antsy when I stay in one place for long.”
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I love you so much, Anyssa. I love you like I’ve always known you.”
“I love you too, Daddy.”
He closes his eyes, and tears seep from the sides.
Leaning over him, I kiss his cheek, tasting the saltiness of his tears.
“Don’t be sorry. Mommy forgave you, and I forgive you. I just wanted the chance to see you.”
“And you have. Nothing too impressive.”
“I wouldn’t say that. You left a beautiful legacy for my sister.”
“And for you.”
“No. It’s hers. She’s worked hard all her life. I have my legacy, and as odd as it may sound, I have you to thank for that too.”
Frowning, he asks, “How so?”
“The fear you placed in Mommy taught me never to be afraid.”
“I don’t know. From what I’ve heard, it sounds like you’re afraid to love.”
Smiling, I say, “You’ve been listening to Cami.”
“No. Your mom’s been here a few times. She talks about you a lot. She’s even shared photos of you as a kid. She tells me that you’re scared to love. Says that you claim you want it, but you don’t embrace it.”
“Daddy, I found someone I love. I lied to him and hurt him, but we’re working through it now.”
“When you work through it, don’t ever stop doing that. Don’t ever give up on love, and never give up on someone who loves you completely,” he advises.
The hacking starts again but stops after a few minutes.
“Read something to me, baby girl,” he says.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Maybe one of those articles you wrote,” he suggests.
Smiling, I pull up the app on my phone for Travel reserved, quiet, polite . . . but you and Nys? You lived life loud and boisterous with no apologies. I love that about her.
“Loved that about you. Those were the hardest years of our lives, and I wanted to stand by your side. But you weren’t getting better, only worse. And I don’t think you would have gotten help . . . stopped drinking if I had stayed. I think it took for me to leave you to open your eyes.
“I know that Orenthia was there for Cami, and I’m glad she was. Cami says she forgives me, but I pray she truly forgives me one day, and her abandonment issues will go away. God has blessed us with another chance, and I’ll take it. I will love her with everything I’ve got, just as I’ve done Nys.
“You asked me to forgive you at the hospital, and I said I did. You didn’t believe it, but, Chris . . . I forgave you. How can I be forgiven for all my wrongs if I can’t forgive you? The only way I can get peace is to let go of the pain you caused me. I choose to remember the man you were before the drinking and celebrate the man you became. The other man . . . was sick. And I know God has forgiven him, and so have I. I just pray that you forgive that man. Thank you for taking care of Cami so well. Goodbye, Chris.”
She lays a yellow rose on the casket, lifts her veil, and wipes her eyes before she turns and sees me. A smile lights her face, and I reach my hand out to her.
She takes it, and we walk toward the car, where Camila and Orenthia wait for us.
I will never understand how my father got to where he did or how he allowed the pain and devastation he created to impact his family the way he did. I’m just glad I had a chance to meet him and that we all now have each other.
Mommy wraps her arm around me as we walk to the car together. Orenthia climbs inside, and Mommy places her hand on Camila’s shoulder to stop her.
“I hope you find someone to love unconditionally one day. That’s how I loved your father,” Mommy says to her.
“I hope I find that too, Mommy,” she says.
“Most importantly, find someone who loves you unconditionally. Your father tried, but he failed in that area. That’s only because he didn’t love himself enough.”
Camila climbs inside the car, and it’s my turn to stop Mommy.
“Mommy, have you forgiven yourself for leaving Camila?”
I know Camila said she forgave her, but I can’t help but wonder if Mommy’s forgiven herself because it doesn’t seem as if she has.
“I’m learning to, baby. One day at a time,” she says, smiling brightly at me.
Then Mommy says, “Baby, go ride with your man,” nodding to Nazár sitting inside his car behind us.
“I’ll be with him soon. He told me to stay with you for now.”
We climb inside. I wrap my arms around my sister, and she rests her head on my shoulder.
The drive to Camila’s house is made with light chatter and reminiscing between Mommy and Orenthia. Camila and I listen to the stories, both grieving in our own ways. She’s grieving what she lost, and I’m grieving what I never had.
Camila’s five-bedroom, four-bathroom, ranch-style home is overflowing with visitors for the repast. Laughter abounds, and the tantalizing aroma of a southwestern-style meal flows from the kitchen and dining room into the living area.
The wine flows in abundance, and plates are passed around. I’m introduced to people as Chris’s baby girl. In the beginning, people were reticent, where my mother was concerned. But that changed in time as a woman named Megan Weatherly came through. She was a talkative, bold woman with a beautiful and charming spirit who wore loud, bright colors that looked striking against her dark skin.
Apparently, she was someone my mother knew in her life with my father, and they were good friends too. When everyone saw her and Megan together, they eventually gravitated toward the two. There were hugs, apologies, and chatter to keep my mother preoccupied.
“You don’t have to entertain everyone you know. Why don’t you get some rest?”
I’ve taken a seat on the steps beside Camila. She looks tired, and the dark rings under her eyes grow darker with each passing hour.
“I can’t sleep, Nys. Being in this room with all these people makes me feel his spirit is still alive. He would have loved this. He often had large gatherings here in this house.”
“How did you come to have this house instead of him and Orenthia?”
“When I was getting ready to move out on my own, he said it made more sense to give it to me since it had been my mother’s house. He said that he and Orenthia should be the ones that found a new place.”
I see our mother walking in our direction.
“How are you two?”
“We’re holding each other up,” Camila says, smiling at me.
“Seeing the two of you together is a beautiful dream for me,” Mommy says. “I hate that it’s under these circumstances.”
“Me too,” I agree.
“And to believe it all started with a bottle of wine and a pact,” Camila says.
We laugh as I push off the stairs.
“I’ll let you two talk. Besides, I need to save Nazár from Doralis’s grabby hands,” I say of one of the neighbors.
Mommy and Camila laugh as I weave my way through the crowd. A few of the men come and surround Nazár, driving Doralis away, and I decide to leave him alone for now. His back is to me, and he doesn’t see me anyway, so I won’t bother him.
I move along, looking for a quiet place to think. I don’t want to head upstairs away from the fray, but I need a moment alone.
Escaping to the back porch is a great idea, and that’s what I do. Grabbing the handrails, I look out at the vineyards in the distance, and I’m reminded of another vineyard far away. I close my eyes, reminiscing about his tender touch.
Nazár has been by my side since my father’s passing four days ago. Although he’s been here, we haven’t been intimate, and we haven’t even kissed. He’s been a supportive friend. I couldn’t have asked for more because that’s all I needed.
Tears slip from the sides of my closed eyelids, and pain squeezes my heart in a vise grip. Doubling over, my mouth opens as a gasp escapes me, the cry strangled in my throat.
A hand rubs my back in slow, soft circles. Without him saying a word, I know that it’s him. He pulls me away from the rail and turns me around. I don’t know how I don’t detect his scent, but seeing him is like a splash of refreshing cold water in the face.
“How did you find me out here?”
“Did you forget that you belong to me, Princesa? You’re mine. I will always find you no matter where you go in this world.”
I take his hand, and we walk down the steps.
We talk about my father and my sister for a while before the conversation turns to the inevitable.
We walk for a while, and by the time we stop, we’re facing a lake at the edge of Camila’s property with a copse of trees behind us. It looks as if we’re all alone in the world in this closed-in space.
Nazár looks down at me and cups my chin. He kisses me sweetly, slowly, and gently. When he pulls back, he stares at me.
“What are your plans after this?”
“I have to leave soon. We pushed back the shooting of my show Romance Abroad because of what happened with my father. But I know I’ll have to be back on location in a few weeks.”
“Do you know why I flew all the way here?”
“To support me during my father’s passing?”
“That’s part of it.”
“What’s the rest?”
“To bring you home with me.”
“Home? With you?”
He nods, and my heart flutters.
“Anyssa, I needed time to heal and time to forgive. I’ve had that time, and I’m healed, and I’ve forgiven you for misleading me, and I’ve forgiven myself for being so damn hard and unreasonable that I didn’t give you room to get to know me. Now, I need to be part of your healing.”
“I think we both needed time.”
“Princesa, I’m in a different space than I was before. I’m ready to open Belle Baie up to the world a little more.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I no longer want the secrecy surrounding it or the negativity associated with it. It’s all about peace and love. That’s what the connotation to Belle Baie was always supposed to be. It changed into something else after Bella’s death. I needed to protect my privacy from those who meant me no good, Bella’s parents included.”
“That’s beautiful. But what about the nudist beach and BoDSMe?”
“Nothing changes. People are allowed to embrace it, or if they’re not interested, they don’t have to accept it. I’ll still be discreet in my guest selection process, but I’ll be more open about the resort than I have been in the past.”
“I’m happy for you, Nazár.”
“No, us. I never would have had the change of heart and mind without you.”
“I’m glad that I could be a part of that. Besides, the world should be able to enjoy that beautiful place.”
“I had this wild and crazy thought that maybe we could spend more time together. I had no idea you were getting ready to start filming, though.”
“I know, and I can’t get away again. Not right away.”
“I have an idea. It might be the perfect way to slowly acclimate people to what Belle Baie is all about.”
“What’s that?”
“Perhaps we can convince your producer to shoot at the resort. That will keep you close by my side.”
My mouth literally drops open, and I laugh. “You are fucking kidding me!”
“Why would I? Your video has renewed interest not only in Mauritius but also in my resort.”
“Are you sure, Nazár? You’ve been such a private man for so long.”
“If it brings you back into my corner of the world and allows me more time with you, I’m good with it. Besides, I’m truly ready for people to see the tranquility Belle Baie offers. It would come with restrictions, though.”
I tip up on my toes, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss him softly. Nazár bends and lifts me into his arms so I can wrap my legs around his waist. This kiss is hotter and more aggressive than the last.
When we finish, he asks, “When can you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“Perfect. I’ll make the arrangements.”
His hand reaches under my dress, rolling my panties aside. When his hand smooths across my ass, he growls, “You’ve been a disobedient little wench.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re wearing panties, Princesa. You know that’s against the rules,” he says.
I laugh, but his fingers slide inside me, removing all the laughter from my lungs. I bite down on his shoulder as pleasure takes over me.
“I’m going to come, Dominio,” I whisper.
“Don’t you fucking dare!” he growls.
His fingers slip out of me, and he rolls my dress over my ass as a gentle breeze brushes my bare skin. Nazár sits in the grass, reaches for my hand, and pulls me beside him. He adjusts me so I’m lying over his lap with my ass bared to the sky.
A hard slap to my ass forces my eyes closed and my mouth open. Another slap, this time harder, makes tears come to my eyes. The third smack to my ass produces a deep, throaty moan, which makes Nazár’s arousal grow; I can feel it pressing against my belly as I lie across him.
Slowly, his hand smooths over my ass, rubbing away the stinging sensation before he inserts a finger in my ass and then another.
“Ohhh!” I cry out in ecstasy.
He pulls his fingers free and spanks my ass again, but this time in swift repetitions, one after the other, hard and not letting up until I cry, “I’m gonna come!”
“Not yet,” he grunts, jerking me upright.
He pulls me forward until I stand over him, and his head is between my legs.
“Go ahead, Princesa. Come for your master,” he instructs.
Nazár’s mouth opens wide, and his tongue and lips lick and suck at me, begging me to come on his tongue. Why would I deny him what he obviously needs from me and what I desperately want to give him?
With his hands working my ass and his mouth working overtime on my pussy, I let go of the sweetest release of ecstasy.
He moves from underneath me and stands, grabbing the back of my head and kissing me, imploring me to explore my taste on his tongue. I’m delicious, warm, and musky all at once.
I moan into his mouth, and he pulls back and says, “You taste so damn good.”
“I do,” I purr.
“I love you,” he growls.
My eyes widen. “You love me?”
“How could I not, Princesa?”