13. Jackson
CHAPTER 13
JACKSON
H ailey’s fans were all waiting when I made it back, bunched up by the velvet rope set up in the hall. When I let myself through, they tried to push in behind me, but I clipped the rope back in place.
“She’ll come out when she’s ready.”
“Is she okay?”
“Tell her we’re here for her, me and Amy. We love her!”
“We were in Seattle, and we’re coming to Vegas!”
“I’ll tell her,” I said, and carried on down the hall. Two of my guys stood flanking the green room, and I nodded to them and raised my hand to knock. Before I could, I heard sounds from inside — a cough, a low sniffle, a half-stifled sob. I waved my men back and leaned close to the door.
“Hailey? You all right? Mind if I come in?”
The sounds stopped abruptly, then I heard a chair scrape. I heard a squeak, running water, then nothing at all. For a long time, I waited, then I knocked again.
“Hailey? You need help in there?”
“Just a second,” she said.
Five full minutes passed, then she cracked the door. She peered at me, then past me, and seemed to relax.
“I thought Mina was with you. Come on in.”
I let myself in and shut the door at my back. Hailey perched by her mirror, on a ratty old chair. She looked tired but good, fresh-scrubbed and pink. If I hadn’t heard her crying, I’d never have guessed. I pulled up another chair and sat facing her.
“You two have a fight? You and Mina, I mean?”
She grimaced. “You could say that. She mostly yelled.”
“That sucks. Should I go rough her up?”
That got a laugh from her, a loud, startled bark. “Yeah, give her a noogie. Show her who’s boss.” She shifted, then winced.
“Your ankle still sore?”
Hailey showed me a baggie that was dripping water. “I put the ice from my drink in this, but it melted away.”
I frowned. The medics should’ve been in to see her by now. But I had my first aid kit, so I pulled it out.
“Stretch out your leg for me. Let me take a look.”
She stretched out her leg, and I knelt down to see. Her ankle was bruised, but barely swollen at all. It didn’t feel broken, or even sprained. I taped it up for her anyway and got out a cold pack, and fixed it to her ankle with medical tape.
“Now hold out your hands.”
She stretched out her hands, and I hissed through my teeth. She had pretty bad rope burns across both her hands. Her holding on so tight had saved her ankle, letting her slide and not fall straight down, but it had done a number on her soft hands.
“This’ll sting a little. You can yell if you want.” I sprayed her hands with alcohol and swabbed them clean, but to her credit, she didn’t yell. She made no sound at all till I daubed them with soothing gel, then she sighed with relief as I rubbed it in.
“It was my fault,” she said. Her voice cracked, and she swallowed.
“What was your fault?”
“Me falling. The swing. I knew the stage crew was screwing up, but I thought I could fix it myself. I could’ve got someone killed…”
“Yeah. But you didn’t.” I stowed my first aid kit and sat back in my seat. “This is the type of mistake you move on from. You learn your lesson and do better next time. No sense hating yourself for what didn’t happen.”
Hailey drew a deep breath and held it, eyes shut. After a while, she let it out in a rush. I thought she might cry again, but she didn’t. She smiled instead, and nodded. “You’re right.”
“You want to slip out the back tonight? Head straight for the bus?”
Hailey bit her lip, thinking, then she shook her head. “No. No, I can’t. I’ve got meet-and-greets.”
“I’m sure they’d understand?—”
“They won’t have to. I’m fine.” She stood, barely flinching, and I stood as well.
“You don’t have to be this strong, not all the time. It’s okay if you’re tired sometimes, or you need a night off.”
She leaned into the mirror and pinched both her cheeks, fluffed up her hair and redid her lip gloss. “Nope! I’ll be fine. Let’s go meet some fans!” She clapped her hands then, and became her stage self, luminous. Bubbly. Larger than life. All I could do was get out of the way. She strode out in a sparkle of glitter and gold, arms raised high to greet her loyal fans.
“Heyyyyy, thanks for waiting! Katie, is that you? It’s so good to see you, and Amy, you too!”
I stood back and admired her as she laughed with her fans, held up her bandaged palms to show her war wounds. She smiled and signed autographs, and brought out her guitar, and let one fan strum through the chords of “Night Dancing.” Only when the fire door showed light in the crack, the first gray of dawn, did she step back.
“Okay, you know what? I’d love to stay longer, but we have a long drive. Next stop, Chicago!”
Her fans begged and pleaded, but she backed away, stretching her arms out in one last air hug. “I’ll see you all soon, and Marie, you keep playing! Maybe one day, you’ll play backup for me!”
I stepped forward to block the way, and my guys went ahead. Cameras flashed as we made for the bus. Hailey waved for them, and flashed her bright smile. She kept that smile on till the doors swung shut, then she deflated like a burst balloon. One second, she was bouncing like she just won the lottery; the next she was melting back into her seat. Her eyes drooped half-shut and her thin shoulders sagged, and she let out a sound like a small, sleepy creature. I couldn’t help laughing.
“Tired much?”
“Oh, God.” She yawned, rubbed her eyes. “You got anything to eat?”
I passed her a protein bar and she futzed with the wrapper. Mina came up and leaned over her seat.
“Hey. You were great in there. You did yourself proud.”
Hailey paused and smiled up at her. “Really? You think?”
“What, are you kidding? Those kids were in heaven. Especially that one who played your guitar — though, your insurance…”
“I know. I know.”
“But screw that, right? You were awesome in there. Now get some sleep before you keel over.” Mina squeezed her shoulder and headed back for the beds. Hailey sat staring at her protein bar. I took it from her and opened the wrapper, then handed it back. She took a big bite.
“You think she forgives me?”
“Who, Mina? I’d say so.”
The bus started up, heading into the sunrise. Hailey nibbled her protein bar till it was gone, then licked the last of the chocolate out of the wrapper. She looked up as she finished, and her face went red.
“You didn’t see that.”
I winked. “See what?”
“I normally hate those things, but I was so hungry .”
I made a mental note to stock better snacks, something nutritious that tasted like food. Pepperoni sticks. Almonds. Crackers and cheese. Hailey leaned back and sighed, and stretched out her legs.
“How are you holding up, other than hungry?”
“I’m all right,” she said. “Just kinda, uh…” She glanced back at Mina, curled up in her bed nook.
“Kinda what?”
“Frustrated, and I know I’m not being fair. Mina’s doing her job and you’re doing yours, and I need to focus on doing mine. But, you know what?” She sighed. “Never mind.”
I sat forward. “If I’m frustrating you, then tell me. Let’s talk. Some things I have to do to keep you safe, but I can be less visible. Less in your face.”
“It’s not that,” said Hailey. “It’s not even you. Or, it is , but it’s nothing you’re doing. It’s more just, okay, the way I grew up — I told you my parents were crazy strict, right?”
I chuckled. “You might’ve said something about that.”
“They picked who my friends were, who could come by the house. Dad would find out if I hung out with Mina, if we ate lunch together. If we even talked. He’d call her mom and yell at her to keep Mina away, and all through third grade we could only pass notes. The first time I felt free, I swear, was band camp: three weeks of music and junk food and friends, doing what I wanted, being loud. Being dumb. Mina made me this bracelet — see? This one here.” She rolled up her sleeve to show off her bracelet, her name woven into it, faded to gray. “I’d look down at my wrist all through the year, and dream of my next chance to go off to band camp. And then I got older, and I’d dream of, well, this.” She gestured at herself, at the bus, at the road. “Music’s supposed to be… I thought I’d be free.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that without being rude. Without insulting her parents, especially her dad. My folks weren’t perfect, but they’d let me be a kid. Dad had showed me the world, or at least the States.
“I left home ten years ago.” Hailey played with her bracelet. “I was almost eighteen, and at first, I felt free. But then I had bills to pay, and I’d work on my music, and there were never enough hours in the day. I kept thinking, I’ll pay rent, then I’ll go party. I’ll record my demo, then I’ll relax. I’ll do this one thing, then I’ll get a life, but there’d always be more things. More still to do.”
“And now you’re famous, and that’s a cage too.”
Hailey bit her lip. “I don’t want to say that. I mean, I love singing. I love my fans, too. A lot of those girls are so much like me, kids with big dreams, and I love that for them. But I got yelled at tonight like a little girl, and it took me right back there, and…” She scrubbed at her face. “I feel like I can’t screw up. Like I can’t choose for myself. Like if I do, and I choose wrong, it’ll be like tonight, only way worse.”
In a way, I got how she felt. I’d never much liked being tied down either, and I’d looked forward all year to my trips with Dad. But I’d never been famous, or had parents like hers, or been yelled at as an adult, except by my drill sergeant. I could tell her to stand up for herself, but if she did and she screwed up, she’d blame herself for the fallout.
“You should get some sleep,” I said, feeling useless.
Hailey yawned again. “Yeah.” She covered her mouth.
“Drink this first.” I passed her an electrolyte drink. She unscrewed the cap and took a long drink, then stowed the bottle in the seat pouch.
“Thanks,” she said, and leaned back and closed her eyes. Was I doing the same thing as everyone else, handing her drinks like a little kid? Assuming she couldn’t take care of herself? But taking care of her was my job. And not just my job, but I wanted her healthy. I wanted her hydrated and feeling good. I cared about Hailey more than I should, as more than a client, or even a friend.
She shifted and stretched, and her hand brushed my knee. On impulse, I took it and twined our fingers together. Hailey smiled, half-awake, and her hand twitched in mine. I sat rubbing her knuckles till she fell asleep.