14. Hailey
CHAPTER 14
HAILEY
I woke up not knowing where the hell I was. New York? Chicago? Up on the moon? I’d have believed any one of those, the week I’d just had, or two weeks maybe. How long had it been?
I turned my head to one side and saw clouds and blue sky. A green, pleasant terrace sloping down to a pool. A card on the nightstand next to my bed read RED HILLS LUXURY SPA AND RESORT. It came back to me then, last night, checking in. Mina promising pampering — facials and wraps. I’d blundered past her and straight into bed, still fully dressed from the night before. Now my phone was buzzing, rattling off the nightstand. I groped out and grabbed it before it could fall.
“Hello?”
“Where are you? You’re missing breakfast!”
I groaned into my pillow. The sun was too bright. “Mina? What time is it?”
“Late, but don’t worry. You can still eat. We have mani-pedis starting at nine, but they have fruit in the salon, and smoothies, and shakes.”
My head spun. “The salon?”
“Check your texts.”
Mina hung up, and I scrolled through my texts. She’d sent me a schedule, a packed day of “health.” Another day parceled out down to the minute, first mani-pedis, then seaweed wraps, then deep-tissue massages and something with mud. Just scanning the list drained my will to live. I scowled at the ceiling.
“Can’t I just sleep?”
Footsteps came shuffling, and paused at my door. Someone knocked softly, then knocked again. I held my breath, anxious, till they went away. That was the worst part of touring, I thought, the complete lack of privacy, even when I was alone. Everyone knew at all times where I was, what I was doing, who I was with. And then there was Jackson, always right there. Always with that body, those blue eyes. That smile. That voice so deep it made my bones thrum.
I got up and dragged my ass to the bathroom, and scrubbed my face clean, and brushed my teeth. I combed out my hair and tied it back, and looked at myself in my wrinkled gray sweats. I looked like I’d just spent the day on a bus, then got all dolled up for a magazine shoot, then come back here and slept in full makeup — all of which I had done, and would do again. This was my life now, I reminded myself. And it wasn’t some accident. I’d fought for this life. But couldn’t I have one day, one hour to myself?
I peeled off my sweats and slipped into a new set. Splashed my face with cold water to de-bag my eyes. Back in my suite, the morning seemed peaceful: cotton-ball clouds in a cornflower sky. Bushes heavy with blossoms nodding in a light breeze. And then the pool, as blue as the sky, a lone morning swimmer stroking slow lengths. I watched him a moment, till he reached the end, turned, and he was Jackson. Of course he was.
I cursed through my teeth, but didn’t turn away. Instead, I kept watching. He looked damn good, strong legs, broad shoulders, wide, muscled back. He came to the edge of the pool and stood up, water beading on his shoulders and on his chest. I was too far away to pick out the droplets, but that didn’t stop my imagination. I pictured myself chasing one with my tongue, over his pecs and his rippling abs, down to the loose waistband of his swimsuit. I’d tug his shorts down, let them float away. Dip under the water and?—
Jackson straightened up, and I thought he’d seen me. I darted behind the curtains, but he just yawned and stretched. He pushed his hair back and shook like a dog, then dove back in for another length. What would he do if I shucked off my sweats and slipped in beside him in just my undies? If I rose like a mermaid to block his way, and ran a finger down his bare chest?
Be professional , he said, stern in my head. This is my job, you know. Go on. Get dressed.
I pulled up my hood, frustrated. Pissed off. He’d teased me too, that night in my room. Leaned in for the kiss before Mina came knocking. He’d made me want him, then backed away, so maybe he’d deserve it if I broke the rules. Snuck out for a bit, while he wasn’t looking. I could see, through the bushes, a sliver of beach, and why not go down before the world woke up? I deserved sun and sand, and the scent of salt air, and no one around to make demands on my time.
Jackson swam to the deep end and dove to the bottom. I slipped out the door and circled the pool, keeping to the footpath behind the bushes. I could see Jackson through the gaps in the leaves, but he hadn’t seen me. For once, I was free.
I made it down to the bottom of the garden terrace and found my path blocked by a high iron fence. But all fences had gates, so I searched right and left, and I soon found it by a willow tree. I broke out in a broad grin and reached for the latch, and that’s when I felt it. A tap on my shoulder. I froze, smelling chlorine. Jackson? But?—
“Going somewhere?”
I turned slowly, and there he was, golden-skinned, naked except for his shorts. I wanted to scream at him, or maybe devour him. Press up against him. Hook my leg round his waist. But he was frowning, angry. I lowered my head.
“You should’ve come found me if you wanted to go out.”
I nodded meekly. He was right. I should. But the beach was so quiet, gleaming white in the sun. Not like the club, that night I’d snuck out. If Jackson hadn’t caught me, who would’ve known?
“I just thought, it’s so peaceful, no one would know. I could’ve run straight back if anyone came.”
“And what if—” Jackson cut himself off, shaking his head. “Why don’t I take you, just for a while?”
My heart leaped, but just then, I felt my phone buzz. It would be Mina wanting to know where I was. There would be hell to pay if I blew off our spa day — and for Jackson as well, if he was involved.
“I wasn’t thinking,” I said. “I should get back inside.”
“Are you sure? Because you’re right. No one’s around. I can just check with Mina, and?—”
“No. It’s okay.” What I’d wanted most wasn’t the wind in my face, or the surf lapping up on my bare feet. I’d wanted to stand there and be by myself, and pretend for a second I was… just me. Maybe one day, I’d have that again, but I’d had enough one day and maybe and if . One day , my parents would loosen my leash. Maybe if I worked hard, I could afford a day off. If no one saw me, I could go to the beach. Would the day never come when I could just be?
My phone buzzed again, and this time I checked it.
Where are you?
Mina.
If you don’t hurry, they can’t hold ur seat!!!
I hurried back past the pool and into the spa, and followed the pink signs to the salon. A peach-clad attendant met me at the door, and swept me past the counter and through the main room. I found myself in a sort of plush pink cocoon, Mina stretched out already in a lavish lounge chair. She motioned for me to take the seat next to hers.
“I got us a private room so we can relax.”
I felt a rush of embarrassment — we’d left the dancers outside? Out in the regular, non-private spa? Then our door swung open to admit two technicians. Laughter bubbled outside and I felt jealous instead. Mina’s smile faded.
“Is something wrong?”
It hit me then, she’d thought she was helping. Buying me some privacy in this ritzy womb. Or maybe she’d just wanted some friend time with me. Either way, all I could do was act grateful.
“I love it,” I said, and pasted on a big smile. Mina relaxed as I flopped down next to her.
“You can sleep if you want, while they pumice your feet.”
I closed my eyes thinking I might do just that, but Mina kept talking like she always did. That was her thing, narrating her life, and I let it wash over me, a soothing flow. I laughed here and there so she’d know I was listening, and once in a while, she’d tap my leg. “Right?”
“Right,” I’d confirm, and she’d go on.
“So, I was meaning to ask you, did you try that new app? I don’t know if you tried it yet, but it’s like, zen. It senses somehow when you get too stressed, like through your heart rate or how fast you tap, and if you get too crazy it helps you calm down. It gives you this microdose of meditation. A minute of blue light, and you’re, whoo, serene.” She blew out a breath and stretched in her seat. Her technician jerked back to keep from nicking her toes. I grunted uh-huh and smiled to myself, thinking they should put Mina’s voice on their app. It was comforting, listening to her talk about nothing. Like being a kid again, back at band camp.
“Did you, though? Did you try it?”
I thumbed my phone on. “I’ll download it now.”
I half tuned Mina out as I checked out the app, wondering if it really reacted to stress. If it sensed my heart rate, would it sense thoughts of Jackson? Could I use it to banish him out of my head?
“You missed a show this morning.” Mina tapped my leg. I made a hm sound.
“What kind of show?”
“Your bodyguard in nothing but a Speedo.” She half-moaned, and my phone chimed. A new prompt popped up: BLUE LAKE APP: START MEDITATION? So it picked up on… jealousy? Was I jealous?
“He went right by the café and jumped in the pool, and oh my God, girl, the tuchis on that! I had to put down my honeybun. It was obscene.”
The Blue Lake app went off again. I switched it to silent. Jackson hadn’t even been wearing a Speedo. He’d been in a loose pair of black swim trunks, the waistband stretched low across his hips. I’d had to remind myself not to stare at his abs, or the dark treasure trail beaded with dew.
“You think he’s single?”
“I don’t think so,” I lied.
Mina humphed . “Well, figures. The good ones never are.”
“Let’s not talk about guys.” I needed to think about anything else. Anything at all that wouldn’t send my pulse racing. My phone was buzzing like a beehive with the app set to silent, and I scrunched up my shoulders, feeling exposed.
“You’re right,” said Mina. “No-penis zone. Ha, what’d you think for a title, if I write my memoirs? No-Penis Zone: the Mina Brown story . It’s been forever… okay. Moving on!” She broke off on a tangent about her new diet, some high-protein one meant to boost strength. I nodded along like I had a clue, but all I could think of was Jackson’s bare chest. Jackson’s strong thighs. His corded forearms. The way he looked rising out of the pool. I’d caught the show all right, and I wanted an encore, and would that damn Blue Lake app ever shut up?
I deleted the damn thing and I did feel calmer. At least now, I could be frustrated and horny in peace.