24. Jackson
CHAPTER 24
JACKSON
I watched from the audience through Hailey’s last show, and she was magnificent. Like nothing I’d seen. When I’d been on her team, I’d had to detach myself. Keep my eyes on the crowd and make sure she was safe. But now I was the crowd, her biggest fan, and I found myself bopping along with her beats.
When the crowd swayed, I swayed. When they cheered, so did I. When they pulled out their phones and held them like lighters, I held mine up too till the battery died.
I never once questioned if I’d made the right choice. I was all in now, period, and always would be. I’d spend the rest of my life making sure Hailey knew it. She was perfect for me and I’d be perfect for her, and together we’d weather life’s squalls and storms.
I knew she couldn’t see me with the lights in her eyes, but it felt like she was singing only for me. When she stretched out her arms, I stretched mine back. I hung on her every note, tracked her every move, and when the concert was over, I was there by her side. I handed her water as she joked with her fans, helped her sponge off her makeup in her green room. We made it back to her suite at the first light of dawn, and she flopped on her huge bed, arms splayed wide.
“I felt like she could hear.” She touched her stomach. “She’s too little to kick yet, but I felt, I don’t know. Like I wasn’t alone up there. Like she was happy.”
I stretched out next to her and laid my hand over hers. “You thought about names yet?”
“We’re not going to go with Hailey or Jackson Jr.?”
I groaned. “Don’t you hate that?”
“Yeah, I do.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “Maybe Joy for a girl?”
“Joy, yeah, I like that. Or Mack for a boy? That’s my dad’s name, Mack like the truck.”
“Little Joy or Mack. Maybe one of each, someday.” Hailey smiled to herself, then her pretty brow creased. “I’m leaving for Florida in a few days. To do my next album. I’ll be out there a while.”
She hadn’t asked any questions, but they hung in the air: would I come out with her? Would I be there for the birth? I knew she’d have medical stuff before that, sonograms, birthing class, who knew what else? She was plucking the bedspread, quick, nervous pecks, so I reached out and took her hand in mine.
“I need to set up my business so it can run anywhere. So wherever I am can be my office. That’s going to take a while, and I’ll be back and forth, but we’ll coordinate schedules. You work the weekends?”
Hailey laughed. “I did last time, twenty-four seven. I’d only knock off to fall into bed. But I’m pregnant this time, so that’s not going to fly. I will take my weekends off, even if it takes longer. And you’ll come out?”
“Every weekend.” I rolled up on one elbow to show her my face. I wanted her to see, not just hear, that I meant it. “And when your due date gets close, or you start needing help, I’ll come out and stay out, and hold your hand through the birth. I’m planning to fix it to take that first year, to let Mike run the business while we settle in. I told him I’d do the same when it’s his turn, take the reins so he gets that first year with his kid.”
Hailey’s eyes were bright, shiny. She blinked back tears. “You’d do that?”
“Of course.”
“I want that too.” She rolled onto her side to press her nose to mine. “I’m supposed to be touring all through next year, Europe and Asia, but that can wait. I want that family time before I go back, maybe some local gigs, but nothing abroad.”
“Whatever you want.” I stole a feather-soft kiss. Hailey sighed into it, a happy sigh.
“After that, we’ll go touring, when Joy’s big enough.”
“Yeah? Where’ll we take her?”
She smiled. “Everywhere. I’ve never been anywhere, so you know what I want? I want my next tour to be like a vacation. I mean, yeah, I’ll work. I’ll do my shows. But I want days in there that are just for sightseeing. I don’t want — like, this tour, we went to New York, and I didn’t see Times Square or Central Park, or catch an opera at the Met. We’re in Vegas right now, and I haven’t been gambling. I haven’t done anything except our one date.”
“We’ll go on all the dates.” I kissed her again. “The Leaning Tower. The Champs-Elysées. The Skytree in Tokyo. The Buddha in Phuket.”
“I don’t even know what half those things are.”
“So I’ll take you. I’ll show you. It’ll be great. I’ll get one of those backpacks, y’know, for the baby, and we’ll take her all over. Show her the world.”
Hailey did a half-bounce, vibrating with joy. “I truly can’t wait for this, our first real trip.”
“First of many to come.” I could see it already, like a series of snapshots, me and Hailey in Frankfurt, Barcelona, and Rome. Hailey on stage, Hailey playing guitar. Playing for our baby to soothe her to sleep. Me and her afterward in our hotel, looking out over another new city. Picking out spots we wanted to see. There’d be tough times as well, tantrums, scraped knees. Times when Hailey was busy and times when I was. We’d fight and we’d sulk sometimes, get in our moods, but the snapshots kept going, hugs and long talks. Things we’d try and fail at, things we’d try and succeed. A life, good and bad, but mostly good and all ours.
“We can do this,” I said. “I trust us. Trust you.”
Hailey kissed me. “Me too. And you know why?”
I flashed a wry grin. “My eloquent speech?”
Hailey snorted at that, and I laughed along with her. Then she leaned in and kissed me again.
“It was a nice speech,” she said. “But that wasn’t it. What I love about you is, your kindness is real. It’s instinct, not forced. It’s who you are. I saw you one time bringing dinner to Mina, when she was working, forgetting to eat. That’s when I fell for you. That’s when I knew.”
“Dinner?” I frowned, trying to think what she meant. “You mean the cheap truck stop burger? When we stopped for gas?”
“What I mean is, you didn’t have to do that. You were my bodyguard. That was your job. But you saw she was hungry and you went and got food. She’s my best friend, and I didn’t do that. It never even occurred to me, but to you, it did.”
It made me feel warm, how Hailey saw me, a deep, spreading glow that filled my whole chest. I still believe in true love , Dad had said, and looking at Hailey, I believed too. She felt so right in my arms, so right in my life.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you more.”
Her hand slid down my side, and I held back a shiver. Then she pressed up against me and I couldn’t hold back. I needed to be with her, close as could be, and show her I was hers, and always would be.