Chapter 6
SIX
The house was too quiet when I woke up. No cartoons blaring.
No baby cries. No Lucky Jr. calling my name like he couldn’t see me standing two feet away.
Just stillness. Soft and thick like the morning fog that kissed the windows.
I blinked a few times before sitting up, rubbing the sleep out my eyes.
That’s when I saw them. A vase of white tulips and lavender roses on the nightstand, petals kissed with dew like he had them delivered at dawn.
Tucked in between the stems was a folded note in Lucky’s handwriting.
– Lover Boy.
My chest ached the good kind of ache, the kind that swells with gratitude and love and a little disbelief that I really got this kind of man.
A man who showed up with actions every time the world tried to test me.
Even when his mama tried to dim my light yesterday with her words, he didn’t blink before checking her.
Didn't hesitate to stand ten toes behind me and then still wrap me in softness after.
I got up slowly, the kind of slow that lets your bones stretch back into place. My body was still healing, still adjusting to this new version of itself after Jenie. But I was learning how to love it again. And Lucky made damn sure I never forgot what it was worth.
I padded across the hardwood, my silk robe swishing against my ankles as I walked into the bathroom and that’s when I saw ‘em.
Sticky notes. Everywhere.
On the mirror. The sink. The cabinet above my skincare stash. The door of the linen closet.
You’re still her.
I don’t care what changed, your body is my favorite place.
Thank you for giving birth to our babies and still having the energy to love me.
You fine. Tired, but fine as hell.
I see you. And I like what I see.
Lover Boy been gone all morning tryna make sure you feel as good as you look.
I laughed, sniffled, then covered my mouth as my eyes burned. I leaned forward and kissed the one that said “You’re still her.”
Because I needed that reminder today more than anything.
I let the hot water run and slipped into the steam, soaking in his love like a second skin.
Monee would be here soon but for now, I let the silence wrap around me soft, sweet, and full of everything he left behind to hold me when he wasn't in the room.
And just like that, I started my day remembering I was always…always worth the softness.
By the time I got out of the shower, the whole bathroom smelled like eucalyptus and Lucky.
The scent always lingered long after he was gone, like his love refused to let me breathe without it.
I wrapped my towel around me and stood in front of the mirror again, wiping away the fog until my reflection came back into focus.
I didn’t look the same but that wasn’t a bad thing.
I moisturized slowly, took my time rubbing body oil into every soft curve and stretch of skin.
Slipped into my favorite lace set; lavender, like the roses he left me.
Then pulled on a tan knit maxi dress that hugged me without suffocating me.
My silk press was still flowing, so I clipped it half-up and let the rest fall down my back.
I was halfway through adding my gloss when I heard the knock at the front door.
A knock followed by the sound of a key turning. Only one person had a key and zero shame about using it.
“Monee!” I called out, smiling as I walked barefoot to the foyer.
She stepped in with oversized sunglasses, leggings, and a hoodie that said “Mama Not One To Play With”. She didn’t even wait for me to greet her before she blurted it out.
“Okay, don’t be mad... but I came early. I need emotional support.”
I squinted at her, locking the door behind her. “Emotional support from me? Girl, what’s wrong?”
She pulled off her glasses dramatically and let out a heavy sigh. “I think I’m pregnant again.”
“Again?!”
“We’re two for two, remember?” she said, rubbing her belly with one hand and pointing at me with the other.
“Except I got two girls and you got the perfect pair. And if I’m pregnant, I swear it’s that damn Zayne’s fault.
He been extra sweet lately. Bought me an anklet, started rubbing my back without being asked. That’s when I should’ve known.”
I couldn’t help it, I cracked up. “Not the back rubs being the warning sign.”
She shrugged. “That’s how they get you.”
I pulled her into a hug, both of us laughing as we rocked side to side in the middle of my living room. Then she looked up at me all serious.
“I brought a test but I wanna take it later. After we enjoy the day. I don’t wanna ruin it if it’s positive... or negative. Either way, I just need you.”
I nodded, heart full. “You got me. Always.”
“Cool,” she exhaled. “Now let’s go outside and act like we not two sleep-deprived mamas with clingy ass kids and baby weight.”
I grinned, grabbing my bag. “You bring the delusion. I’ll bring the edge control.”
We hit the streets like two girls who hadn’t been spit-up on in months.
Monee had the playlist going, talking ‘bout “this feels like a day where we get into something bougie then end it with lemon pepper wings and a strawberry Fanta.”
I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. She wasn’t wrong. That’s exactly what it was giving.
Our first stop was this little hidden spa Lucky booked us at, black-owned, candlelit, rose petals on the floor.
The kind of quiet luxury that whispered “you deserve softness” in every detail.
We got full-body massages, facials, and hot oil scalp treatments.
Monee kept giggling during the foot rubs, claiming they were trying to seduce her.
By the time we left, we smelled like hibiscus and money.
Next, we slid to this boutique I hadn’t been to in forever. I found a cropped trench coat that made me feel like me again. Not just the mama or the wife, but Jream. The Jream Lucky fell in love with. The Jream that still got it.
Monee picked up some matching silk robes and side-eyed me the whole time.
“I know Lucky gon’ lose his mind when he sees you in that coat,” she teased.
“He better,” I smirked. “It’s either that or I’m returning it and keeping the tag on his ego instead.”
She howled.
We made one last stop for drinks; mocktails for me, because I still wasn’t drinking heavy while breastfeeding, and Monee... well, she still didn’t know. We sat at this rooftop lounge sipping on frozen mango chili concoctions, legs crossed, gold hoops glinting in the sunlight.
“You ever think about how far we came?” she asked, eyes soft behind her sunglasses. “Like... we really made it out the trenches and into soft life.”
I looked over at her, the breeze catching her curls.
“Every damn day.”
We sat with that for a minute. Two women, still healing, still growing, but held up by love. Not just from our men but from each other. From the village we built. From the lives we were creating.
When we finally made it back to my house, the sun was just starting to dip. Monee grabbed her purse, holding up the small brown bag she brought.
“You ready?”
I exhaled. “Let’s find out.”
We sat in the bathroom like two teenagers who got caught skipping class.
“Girl, why you look more nervous than me?” Monee asked, legs bouncing as she peeled the plastic off the pregnancy test box.
“Because I didn’t come here for all this! I was just tryin’ to be moral support, now you got me peeing on sticks and second-guessing my whole uterus.”
We both laughed, but there was a tightness to mine. A little edge of something I hadn’t felt in a while.
We took the tests in silence, both of us side-eyeing the timers like they owed us an explanation. I leaned against the counter, arms folded, while Monee sat on the edge of the tub playing with her nails.
“You scared?” she asked.
“Nah,” I said too quick. “I mean... maybe a lil.”
She nodded, understanding thick between us.
The timer on her phone buzzed. We both turned to the counter.
Two tests.
Two lines on each.
Monee’s mouth dropped open. “Hold on... bitch…”
I stared at mine like it had personally betrayed me. “Oh nah.”
Monee screamed. “You pregnant too?!”
“No, the fuck I’m not!” I shouted back, even though the test clearly said otherwise.
She snatched both sticks and held them up like trophies. “We three for three! Bitch, we fertile as hell! They need to study us!”
I was still frozen, hand over my mouth.
“Jream... Jream! You gon’ say somethin’?!”
I looked at her, at the test, then back at her again. “I just got my waist back.”
Monee fell out laughing. “And now you about to be waist-deep in diapers again,” she cackled.
I sank onto the bathroom floor, hands in my lap, staring at the stick like it might change its mind if I stared long enough.
“Lucky gon’ cry,” I whispered.
“Cry? That man gon’ pass out and wake up with the biggest smile known to man. He made you. Now he get to do it again.”
I pressed a hand to my still-soft belly, emotions swirling. Surprise, nerves, joy and love. Because damn... we really were building something beautiful.
“Guess we gotta start planning baby showers again, huh?” I muttered.
Monee held her test up like a toast. “To round three, bitch.”
I held mine up too. “To surprise blessings and never pulling out.”
We clinked tests like wine glasses and laughed until we cried.
Later that day
I heard them before I saw them. Jenie’s baby giggles echoing through the hallway, Lucky Jr.’s tiny sneakers pounding the hardwood, and Lucky’s voice low and steady as he tried to wrangle both their wild little spirits.
I was in the kitchen, pretending like I wasn’t standing there waiting.
Dinner was already on the stove, his favorite, of course and the candles were lit.
I had changed into one of his shirts, the one that still smelled like his cologne even after I washed it and tied it up at the waist.
The door swung open and in they came like a storm. Jenie was on his hip, her curls wild and half of her hair bow missing, Lucky Jr. running straight to the fridge.
“There go my babies,” I said with a smile that stretched across my whole face.
Lucky’s eyes found mine. That look he gave me; worn but warm, full of love and something quieter, deeper.
“Hey, Mama,” he said, kissing my cheek before setting Jenie down so she could wobble off after her brother. “She been talkin’ the whole ride home. I swear she gon’ be louder than her brother.”
I watched him pull his hoodie off and kick off his sneakers, eyes scanning the kitchen.
“This smell like somethin’ good,” he muttered, already lifting the pot lid like he wasn’t the reason I cooked in the first place.
“Sit down, I’ll fix you a plate,” I told him, already grabbing the bowls.
He sat, stretched out in his chair, one arm tossed over the back while he watched me move around. The kids were on the floor nearby, Jenie babbling and Lucky Jr. trying to share his toy car with her.
“You good?” he asked, voice dipping low.
“Mmhm.”
He narrowed his eyes slightly. “What that mean?”
I looked at him over my shoulder, smile softly. “It means… yeah. I’m good.”
He didn’t push. He never did when I wasn’t ready but I knew soon I’d have to tell him. I just needed to sit with it a little longer.
I brought his food over, leaned down, and kissed his forehead before sliding into the seat beside him.
“I missed you,” I whispered.
He cut his eyes over at me. “Missed you more, Jream. You don’t even know.”
And I felt the weight of his day melting off him just by being home.
An hour later
I sat on the edge of the couch, one leg tucked under me, my favorite blanket wrapped around my shoulders even though I wasn’t cold. The soft hum of the baby monitor echoed low, catching every sound from upstairs. Lucky was bathing the kids.
I could hear the water running, Lucky Jr.’s high-pitched laugh as his daddy pretended to be a sea monster, Jenie’s squeals rising up to meet it. The soft patter of feet. The splash of love. The kind of love you don’t always get to see in this world.
My man bathed our babies every night like it was sacred. He washed their hair with the same tenderness he touched me with, talked to them like little grown people, and made bedtime a ritual that they’d remember forever.
I loved watching him be a father but tonight, all I could do was sit with this feeling. I rubbed slow circles over my stomach with my palm. Not really thinking just feeling.
Pregnant.
Again.
Monee was still in shock when she left. She’d cried in the car, then laughed, then cried again. We were three for two three now, like she said. But me? I was sitting in it. Holding it. Trying to breathe through it.
I wasn’t scared. That wasn’t it. It was my body.
I hadn’t bounced back like I did with Lucky Jr. With him, I was in dresses and heels again in a matter of weeks.
My waist snapped, my energy came back, everything felt normal.
But Jenie? She rearranged me. She made space and didn’t give it back.
My belly still felt soft. My hips are wider.
My chest is heavier. None of it was bad or ugly… it was just different.
I loved motherhood. I did. I loved this phase she was in.
The way she gripped my fingers. The way she snuggled her face into my neck and hummed.
I loved waking up to her nursing, to Lucky’s arm thrown across both of us, to Lucky Jr. climbing up in the bed and yelling about cereal but I didn’t feel like me.
Not fully and now another baby was on the way.
“You okay, mama?”
Lucky’s voice was soft behind me. I turned and looked up, catching the sight of him; barefoot, shirt damp from the bath, tattoos peeking out beneath his tank.
“Kids are out,” he said, nodding toward the stairs. “Jenie knocked out mid-lotion. Your son tried to fight me about brushing his teeth, but we made it.”
I smiled, barely.
He walked over, leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
“I’ll go shower real quick, come lay with you in a minute.”
I nodded, but I didn’t say much. He knew me too well though. Before he went upstairs, he turned around, eyes on mine.
“I see you, Jream. I still see all of you.”
Then he left me sitting there, heart swollen, blanket pulled tight, hand still pressed low.
I breathed in then out.
Tomorrow, I’d tell him tomorrow but for tonight, I just wanted to sit in this softness a little longer.