Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Alexis looked out the window, watching the sunlight sparkle on the snow that was dusting the branches of the crabapple tree that grew in her and Grayson’s yard. She was seated at her desk at home, slowly nursing her morning cup of coffee and trying to concentrate on finalizing her designs for the pub. Before they hung up all of the pictures and articles that they’d framed, she wanted to make sure she’d planned the layout just right.
She sighed, feeling a current of emotions rushing through her stomach. She rubbed her temples, thinking to herself that she needed to just seize the moment and tell Grayson about their baby. She shook her head, taking another sip of coffee.
I should stop drinking this and drink water instead, she thought. It’s making me jittery.
She’d switched to decaf coffee when she’d learned about her pregnancy, but it was still making her feel jittery, intensifying her already high-strung emotions.
She didn’t have any excuses anymore. She needed to tell Grayson. But the truth was that she was afraid to, because once she did it meant that their lives were officially changed forever.
She closed her eyes, reminding herself that their lives were already changed forever, and in a good way. But somehow, the fact that Grayson didn’t know yet made a difference. After all, the dynamic between the two of them hadn’t changed at all, because he didn’t know. What if he felt it was all too much when he learned the news, and he started to act distant again?
She clicked open a pen and turned to a blank page in her notebook. At the top, she wrote the words, “I am going to tell him today” and then next to them she wrote, “I am going to tell him tomorrow.”
She paused, trying to come up with a reason for why she should wait until the next day to tell him. She couldn’t come up with a single one besides, “I’m scared” and she knew that wasn’t any kind of a good reason.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
She turned and saw Grayson standing in the doorway of her office. He was smiling at her, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that there was something on his mind.
“I found something in the couch,” he said, winking at her as he crossed the room. “Would you know anything about it?”
“Something in the couch? You mean like a hairband or something like that?” She checked to make sure that there was still a hairband around the end of her braid.
He shook his head. “No, not a hairband. I found a strange abundance of crumbs on the living room couch when I sat down to read the newspaper.”
She blinked, remembering all of a sudden that she’d stayed up the night before, stress-eating peanut butter cookies on the couch long after Grayson had gone to sleep. It wasn’t like her to leave a mess behind like that, but clearly she’d been too tired to clean up after herself when she’d finally dragged herself off to bed.
“Oh,” she said. “Those were mine. I was eating peanut butter cookies.”
“Really?” Grayson asked, surprised. “That’s not like you.”
Her emotions already brittle, Alexis began to tear up. “I’m sorry,” she said, her bottom lip starting to quiver. “I didn’t mean to leave crumbs all over the couch. I know I don’t usually do things like that.”
“Honey!” He wrapped her in his arms, pulling her out of her chair into a bear hug. “What are you saying? I don’t care if you left crumbs on the couch. I meant that it isn’t like you to eat peanut butter cookies. I thought you hated peanut butter. And I have to admit, I was coming to ask you about the crumbs because I wondered if you’ve been extra stressed lately. You don’t usually leave a stress-eating trail behind you.”
She hiccupped, still crying. “I haven’t been honest with you, Grayson.”
“What?” He looked worried. “About what?”
“About peanut butter,” she sobbed into his shoulder.
“I—what? It’s okay, Alexis.” He rubbed her back, sounding confused. “You lied about not liking peanut butter?”
She shook her head. “I like it now.”
“Sweetheart.” He wiped a tear off her cheek, looking as though he was trying not to laugh. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“I—I’ve been keeping something from you. Not really on purpose. I just haven’t told you because—well, it’s really big news. I feel overwhelmed, and I’ve been worried you’re going to be overwhelmed too.”
A look passed over Grayson’s eyes, as if he suddenly knew what she was about to tell him. Alexis felt a surge of relief, because the look was decidedly an excited one.
“Come and cuddle on the couch with me,” he said, taking her hand. “Our crumbly couch. And maybe we’ll eat some more peanut butter cookies. And you can tell me all about it.”
Snuffling, she followed him downstairs to the couch. He left to go get a box of peanut butter cookies from the kitchen and returned with a sweet smile on his face.
“Here,” he said, handing her a cookie. “You eat this, and then tell me.”
She ate the cookie, squeezing his hand gratefully. She knew it must be her hormones making her emotions unusually intense, but she felt as though her insides were sloshing with an ocean of feelings.
“Okay,” he said, kissing her nose when she’d finished eating. “Tell me.”
She took a deep breath, feeling a mixture of nervousness and relief now that the moment had finally come. “We’re going to have a baby.”
A huge grin spread across Grayson’s face, and he took her head in his hands and kissed her. “Alexis! This is amazing! We’re going to be parents.” He gave her a huge hug, and she could feel him taking deep breaths. He didn’t seem stressed, however, he just seemed overjoyed. He pulled away from their hug and grinned at her. “I have to admit, I was starting to realize even before you told me. Peanut butter cookies when you’ve always hated peanut butter? And you’re so emotional right now.” He laughed, and she laughed too and burrowed against his shoulder, hiccupping. “I also was really confused last week when I opened the peanut butter jar and found it basically empty. I figured you must have made Dean several peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or something.”
She smiled, as happy now as she had been feeling emotional a few minutes before. “No, I’ve become like a peanut butter monster. Mom said you were going to notice and realize I’m pregnant.”
He brushed a strand of hair back from her face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s just that—well, I’ve felt overwhelmed by the news. We’re so busy. This isn’t exactly something we have the time for, technically speaking. And I was afraid of what you would think. This is going to change our relationship dynamic, for sure.”
He looked her in the eyes, smiling. “Alexis, I am overjoyed.”
They hugged again, and he rocked her back and forth a little.
“I’m so glad you’re not stressed out by the idea,” she said, flopping back against the couch cushions in relief. “I’ve become so excited about our baby, but at first, I felt like somebody had just handed me an entire world and I didn’t think I would be able to handle it.”
He nodded. “I mean, it’s going to be a challenge for sure. And we’re going to have to cut back on some things. You’ll have to work at the pub less, and maybe we can hire someone to help run your jewelry business, if it comes to it. I’ll spend less time with the guys, and I’ll make sure I don’t ever work late. I’ve let myself do that sometimes if you’re also working late, but our priorities are going to have to change, that’s for sure.”
She beamed at him, so proud of how wise he’d become and so grateful that he was there by her side to support her. “Okay. You’re right. We’ll figure it out together as we go.”
“And don’t you worry for a second that this is going to change our relationship. It’s going to make us stronger, because we’re going to work together as a team to take care of our baby.”
“But having children changes marriages. It makes everything different.”
“That doesn’t have to be in a bad way. Besides, you already spend a lot of time caring for your mom and your siblings. That hasn’t taken anything away from our relationship, has it? And I know having a kid in the house with us is going to be a whole other animal, but remember that our relationship doesn’t depend on you giving me your undivided attention, or me giving you my undivided attention. We can handle having a baby together, Alexis. I think we’re going to be really good parents.”
She felt a surge of joy and she took his face in her hands and kissed him. “You’re right. Thank you. I’m so excited!”
“I’m so excited too.” He grinned and kissed her again.
At that moment, there was a short knock on their front door. Alexis turned around, confused, and called, “Come on in!”
Hazel opened the front door and stepped inside, looking frazzled. Alexis stood up immediately, able to tell at once that something was off with her sister. Hazel’s usually bright energy was dimmed, and she was frowning as if she was worried.
“Do you have a minute?” Hazel asked, coming into the living room. “Sorry for barging in like this.”
“Not at all.” Alexis shook her head. “You’re always welcome here.”
Grayson nodded. “Absolutely.”
Alexis took Hazel by the arm and led her to the couch. “Come on and sit down. What’s the matter?”
Hazel cleared her throat and sat down next to Alexis. “Well, there was an issue at the pub last night. With one of the air vents.”
“What?” Alexis leaned forward, feeling worried. “Why didn’t someone call me? Is everything okay now?”
“It’s okay now. And it was late—I only called Mom because I thought she should know. I went there with the Christmas decorations—because I was feeling really awake and I thought I’d get ahead on my work—and then I found Jacob in there still working on the vents.”
“Oh, yeah? Jacob?” Alexis’s tone was so eager that Grayson gave her an amused look.
“Yeah. He said there was a small chance of a fire hazard and he wanted to make sure it was all fixed before leaving. And then the health inspector showed up out of the blue, which was weird and felt like a really bad thing, but then it turned into a good thing because he was able to double-check Jacob’s work right away and verify that everything’s safe now. And Mom was there too. Between the four of us, we had it under control, so I didn’t see any reason to wake you up.” Hazel stammered a little as she spoke, clearly struggling to get her words out.
Alexis nodded. “No, it’s okay. I’m glad that everything worked out fine.”
Hazel bit her lip, and Alexis saw tears spring into her sister’s eyes.
“Oh, Hazel—what’s the matter?”
“But everything’s not fine.” Hazel’s voice shook as she blinked back her tears. “After all that happened and Terrence was checking Jacob’s work, Jacob and I were eating tater tots in the kitchen together, and he told me—” Hazel took a deep breath, seeming as though she was pausing in her words because she was trying not to cry.
“What?” Alexis squeezed her hand. “What did he say?” Her heart twisted in worry, concerned that Jacob had started talking about having an interest in another woman.
“He’s single,” Hazel said, and burst into tears.
Alexis shared a bewildered look with Grayson before wrapping her sister in her arms. “Honey, why—what—why is that a bad thing?”
“Because!” Hazel covered her face with her hands. “Now I can’t act normal around him anymore and it ruins everything!”