Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Alexis wandered through the general store with a basket hanging on her arm. She was on a mission to start buying things for the baby, but she had never actually gone to the part of the store where the baby items were held before, and she didn’t know exactly where it was.
She meandered slowly through the Christmas decorations, pausing to laugh over a chubby singing Santa statue. There was a faint aroma of cinnamon and chocolate in the general store, making her feel in a holiday mood and even more excited for Christmas than she already had been.
She made her way into the next aisle, and a grin spread across her face when she saw that she’d located the baby items. She hurried eagerly up to the shelves, looking over all of the cute and tiny things. She picked up a set of baby bibs, all of which were in adorable pastel shades. She placed it inside her basket, feeling a thrill of excitement.
I don’t feel overwhelmed anymore , she thought gratefully. Now I’m just completely excited, and it feels so nice.
She continued to gather items and place them in her basket. She didn’t want to buy too much, since she knew that they were months away from the baby being born and that she would receive items from the baby shower, but it felt good to start to prepare. All of the items in her basket felt like a celebration of their baby.
Once she’d collected a few things, she sighed happily and turned to leave the baby aisle. As she was making her way back to the front of the store, she noticed Hazel walking through the bakery aisle. Her sister was moving briskly, looking intently at the bags of flour and sugar as if she was on an important mission.
“Hey!” Alexis hurried forward, smiling. “Hazel!”
Hazel turned to Alexis and smiled back. “Hey.” She gave her sister a hug. “How are you?”
“Fine, but I’ve been wondering where on earth you’ve been the past couple of days. It seems like you’ve been avoiding me.”
“Oh, don’t feel like that! I’ve just been—well, busy. Really busy. Getting ready for the Christmas event. There’s so many things to do still—like picking out what color ribbon to tie the silverware with for the event. I finally decided on red with a gold edging, but I wanted to think about all of the other colors we have, and I had to make sure that shade of red went well with the other shades of red?—”
Alexis held up a hand, shaking her head. “Hazel. Come on. You’re clearly making up tasks in order to avoid facing something.”
Hazel bit her lip, and Alexis knew that she’d guessed correctly. She also guessed that the something that Hazel wanted to avoid facing was Jacob.
“Let’s go to Seaside Sweets Bakery and grab something fattening.” Alexis nudged her sister. “I’m craving it, and you look like you could use a pick-me-up. And then we can talk about whatever it is that you’ve been trying to avoid.”
Hazel sighed, but she nodded. “You see right through me. Okay. Bakery does sound great right now.”
“Probably because we’re in the bakery aisle.” Alexis laughed. “Every time I go to buy baking ingredients, I end up craving baked goods like crazy.”
“Before or after you got pregnant?” Hazel teased.
“Before. Now that I’m pregnant, I’m specifically craving a peanut butter flavored baked good.”
Laughing, the sisters went to the front of the store together, where they made their purchases. They placed their bags in their cars, and then met up again at the edge of the parking lot to walk to Seaside Sweets Bakery.
“We’ll have to eat outside though,” Alexis said, grimacing playfully, “because apparently I can’t stand the smell of hot chocolate right now.”
It was a sunny day, much warmer than it had been lately. They strolled along the sidewalk together, enjoying looking at all of the Christmas decorations on the houses they passed. Alexis felt the wind brush against her cheeks, making them tingle pleasantly from the cold. As they walked, she wondered what had happened with Jacob and Hazel since she’d last spoken with her sister. Had they had another conversation? Had Hazel been avoiding him, worried that she would act too differently around him now that she knew he was single?
They reached Seaside Sweets Bakery and stepped inside. As soon as she inhaled the sweet smell that filled the air, Alexis knew she was going to get nauseous if she stayed in the pastry shop.
“Nope.” She laughed. “I’ll meet you outside. Buy me a chocolate peanut butter cookie and I’ll pay you back later?”
“My treat. You go sit outside, Mother-to-Be, and I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.”
Alexis smiled gratefully at her sister and went back outside. The outdoor chairs and tables that usually lined the front of the bakery had been taken into storage for the winter, but there was a bench placed along the sidewalk which had been cleared of snow. She sat down with a sigh, feeling tired but in a pleasantly sleepy way. She watched the cars passing on the road with a relaxed interest until Hazel stepped out of Seaside Sweets Bakery, carrying a white paper bag.
“Here you go.” Hazel handed Alexis a large, chewy peanut butter and chocolate cookie with a triumphant flourish.
“Thank you!” Alexis took a bite out of the cookie immediately. “Oh, wow. I really hope I still like peanut butter when I’m not pregnant anymore.”
Hazel laughed. “I hope so too. I’m glad you’re craving a form of protein.”
“What did you get?”
“A sugar cookie. Shaped like a snowman, see? Isn’t it cute? I got a second one for Samantha to eat when she gets home from school.”
The sisters wandered along the sidewalk until they reached the town square, where they sat together under the gazebo. Although it was a fairly warm day, it was still nice to sit somewhere that was somewhat sheltered from the wind.
“So.” Alexis swallowed her third bite of cookie and turned to her sister. “Tell me what’s been on your mind. Or—tell me what you’ve been trying to keep off your mind. It’s Jacob, right? Did you talk to him again?”
Hazel sighed. “Yes. He showed up to the pub on Monday. The day I was working there by myself.”
“To do more work on the vents?” Alexis frowned, confused.
“No.” Hazel shook her head, turning a vibrant shade of pink. “He wanted to talk to me.”
“Yeah?” Alexis had to try very hard to keep from grinning. “About what?”
“He—well, he kind of asked me out.”
“What?” Alexis almost dropped her cookie. “He did?” She looked at Hazel’s face and could see right away that her sister hadn’t said yes to Jacob. She felt her stomach flop with disappointment, but she reminded herself that she shouldn’t make her sister feel as though she’d done the wrong thing. After all, it was Hazel’s life, and Dean and Julia were right that it was ultimately none of her business. “What happened?”
Hazel bit her lip and stared across the town square, which was covered in a blanket of sparkling snow. “Well, he came inside and said that he—well, he said he couldn’t stop thinking about me, and he asked me if I would go on a date with him sometime.”
Alexis coughed, trying with all her might to not say what she wanted to say, which was, “You said yes, right?”
“And he said he doesn’t think he’s good enough for me.” Hazel spoke in a soft voice, sounding amazed and a little starstruck. “And I told him that he definitely is, but that I needed time to solidify all the progress I’ve made lately. I’ve found new confidence and a sense of independence, and I don’t want to toss that away by starting to date someone right now.”
Alexis nodded, not knowing what to say. She understood what her sister was saying, and she saw the value in it, but she felt that Hazel could maintain her self-growth progress while also dating Jacob. She squirmed a little internally, wanting to blurt out as much but holding herself back because she wanted to be respectful.
“And I think I did the right thing,” Hazel said. “But—ever since I told Jacob that, I’ve been so sad. I mean, I really did like him. And I have to admit that I still do. I wish I could have both.”
Alexis took her sister’s hand and squeezed it, unable to hold back her opinions any longer. “I think you can have both! I really do. I know it feels like too much to juggle, but I think that when things are this important, we learn how to handle more than we thought we could.” Hazel bit her lip dubiously, and Alexis continued. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I was so afraid that having a baby would cause an imbalance in my and Grayson’s life. But now I know we’re going to figure it out together. The truth is that balancing lots of things and still being able to do them well is hard but worth the risk. We’ll prioritize the baby and our marriage, but we think that we can continue to invest our time in other things as well, like my jewelry business. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that the baby isn’t going to make our marriage any less wonderful. And dating Jacob doesn’t have to make your sense of independence go away either. You can continue to nurture your self-respect and self-development, even within a relationship.”
Hazel stared out across the lawn of the town square, clearly conflicted over Alexis’s words.
“I mean, it’s your life. You do what you feel you need to do.” Alexis smiled reassuringly at her sister. “You’ve grown a lot these past few months, and I’m so proud of you, but opening your heart to Jacob won’t ruin that growth.”
Hazel sighed, fiddling with the zipper on her coat. “I like what you’re saying, and I want it to be true, but what if it isn’t? I mean, the second I found out Jacob is single I started acting awkward around him. It was like my self-assurance went out the window. Maybe I can’t maintain my new sense of independence around him if I want him to be interested in me romantically.”
“I think it’s okay to work through those challenges within a relationship. And maybe there’s no way to avoid feeling like that for a little bit. Maybe you’re always going to have to face these hurdles when a man becomes involved in your life. Maybe this is just the next step in your journey of self-discovery.”
Hazel nodded, but Alexis could tell by the frown on her sister’s face that she still wasn’t convinced. “I’m not sure. I—I think I still need some more time to process everything, and —well, think it all through. And I need time to focus on the Christmas event. We still have so much that needs to be done.”
Alexis pressed her lips together, wanting to say more but holding herself back. After all, it was Hazel’s decision, and she’d already given her sister a substantial amount of advice. “I respect your decision, Hazel.”
Hazel laughed. “I can see you squirming. I know you want me to date him, Alexis, and I’m grateful. I appreciate that you want me to be happy.”
Alexis smiled at her sister, determined to hold her tongue. As they continued to munch on their treats and chat, she couldn’t help hoping that Hazel would change her mind once a little time had passed and things weren’t so busy anymore.
I think once she recovers from the initial shock and has some time to think about it, she’ll realize that she wants to be with Jacob, Alexis thought. I feel sure she can maintain the growth she’s accomplished as a person and also start a relationship with him.
The sisters continued to talk about other things, such as the upcoming community event and Christmas preparations, as they walked back to the general store parking lot. Alexis crossed her fingers inside her mittens whenever she turned to look at her sister, hoping that she would end up changing her decision.