Chapter 14
“Amina, Amina?”
I felt my body being shaken while my name was being called. I opened my eyes to see Jabari standing over me. I slowly sat up and saw that the sun was no longer shining through the window.
“How long have I been sleeping?”
“A couple of hours. After I talked to JaBria, I came out, and you were fast asleep. I handled what I had to handle and started dinner. It should be done soon.”
I nodded, and I stood to my feet. My mind told me to take a break from it all. A part of me felt like I needed to reel everything in. Everything was moving too fast, in my opinion, when there was no understanding of what was happening. I needed the space to reflect.
“Actually, can I get my food to go? I’m going to head home for the night?”
Jabari looked at me confused. “Why? What’s going on? Was it Kya?”
I shook my head. Even though it involved Kya, she wasn’t the main reason. Gio had gotten into my head.
“No, I think we just need a bit of space from each other. I’ve been over here every night since we first linked, and I just miss sleeping in my bed.”
“Amina...” Jabari held my hands, searching my eyes.
I looked everywhere but at him. I mustered up a smile to stop the pressure from being too much on me. I wanted to get out of there to decompress. I was feeling overwhelmed.
“Jabari, I’m okay. I swear I am. I’m just missing my bed.”
He sighed. “Alright. I’ll fix it to go. You promise you’re not lying to me. Nothing’s bothering you, right?”
I nodded.
He looked at me for a few more seconds before he turned and headed to the kitchen. My chest relaxed once he had disappeared from my view. This was more challenging than expected, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
A few minutes later, Jabari returned with two Tupperware containers. The scent of delicious goodness filled my insides with happiness.
“I made a shrimp pasta with white cream sauce. I made a side salad along with it.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“I also made you a plate for lunch tomorrow at work.”
“I appreciate that.”
He handed me the food and then paused. “Are you sure we’re good? Did I say something? I didn’t expect Kya to show up over here. I swear I didn’t.”
“I told you already. I’m good. I just miss my bed.”
I placed a quick peck on his lips, hoping to let some of his curiosity settle.
“If you say so. Let me walk you to the car.”
I grabbed my belongings and headed to the door. Jabari stood waiting for me. We walked in silence toward my car. Just like any other day, Jabari opened the door for me. He placed the food on the back seat and then turned to face me.
“Call me if you change your mind. I’ll be up for a while.”
“Okay. I’ll make sure to do that.”
Jabari stared at me for a while longer. I was nervous that he was about to ask me again what was wrong. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back my true feelings.
“Let me know when you get home,” he stated.
“I will. Thanks for the food.”
“You’re welcome. Are you sure you’re good?”
I nodded my head, then pecked his cheek and smiled. “I’ll let you know when I’m home.”
I got in the driver’s seat, and he closed the door.
I placed my car in drive and backed out while Jabari remained in the driveway, watching me drive away.
Once I turned the corner and was out of the neighborhood, I let my emotions win.
Tears flowed down my face. Everything had hit me all at once.
I couldn’t believe I let myself fall into La La Land without thinking about everything else at stake.
I should’ve asked Jabari about Kya in the beginning.
I should’ve asked about his past life and whether there was anybody else out there thinking he was their boyfriend.
However, I should’ve also made sure that this was something I needed to do at the time.
Gio was right. I had goals, and I didn’t need to be distracted from them.
Yet the carelessness in me didn’t want to care about that anymore.
I wanted to enjoy whatever this was that I was doing.
Thirty minutes later, I had arrived home, and I still didn’t feel any better after crying the entire drive.
I knew it was going to be a long night of tossing and turning because my thoughts were all over the place.
I made it inside the house and placed my food in the fridge.
I had little appetite, despite how wonderful everything smelled.
I made my way to the bathroom and stripped out of my clothes, turning the shower on as hot as it could go.
I jumped in, hoping that the pressure from the shower would release some of the tension I felt.
No matter how hard I tried, my thoughts wouldn’t settle.
Finally, after spending twenty minutes in the shower, I climbed into my bed.
Even though I told Jabari I missed my bed, I missed his more.
Not because of the comfort level but because of how warm his body laid against mine or how I had the luxury of wrapping my legs in his.
Our nighttime routine was everything I had wanted.
I pulled out my Kindle, hoping it would help settle my racing mind.
A good book always relaxed and helped me fall asleep.
As soon as I clicked on the book to get lost in it, my phone rang.
I reached for it off the nightstand, and Jabari’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hello?” I answered.
“I thought I told you to let me know when you made it home.” His tone sent chills down my back.
I could tell he was upset from the sternness in his voice.
“I’m sorry. It slipped my mind.”
He sighed. “What’s going on with you? I can tell something is wrong. Talk to me, Amina.”
“Jabari...”
“You know what? Come to the door.”
My eyes widened. “What do you mean, come to the door?”
“Just what I said. Get up and come open the door for JaBria and me.”
I quickly grabbed my robe and wrapped it around my body, racing toward the front door and snatching it open. Jabari stood there with his headphones in his ear, holding a sleeping JaBria.
“Jabari, what the hell are you doing here?”
“You ain’t gonna let us in?”
I quickly ushered him inside the house, shutting the door and locking it behind him.
“Follow me so that you can lay her down. I have a spare room.”
I led Jabari to the back of the house and showed him where to lay JaBria.
She didn’t stir at all when he laid her down.
We walked out of the room, shutting the door behind us.
I didn’t want to disrupt her sleep, so I told Jabari to follow me as I led him back to my bedroom.
It was close enough for us to hear JaBria, but there was a distance between us so that we wouldn’t wake her.
Once Jabari stepped foot into my room, I folded my arms across my chest and stared at him.
“What?” he asked.
“Why are you here?”
“Because shit seemed weird as fuck after Kya left, and I wanted to make sure we talked about this shit. I’m picking up on you being a person who tries to mask their feelings, but you’re not tricking me. I know something is bothering you, so talk to me.”
I sighed. “Jabari, please.”
“Nah, don’t Jabari, please me. Let me know what’s going on, and I mean that shit.”
I knew he wasn’t going to stop badgering me, and eventually, I would have to tell him what was bothering me.
“I guess hearing some of the shit Kya said made me question all of this that we’ve got going on.
I was so lost in a trance with you that I didn’t think to ask about her.
On top of that, I have my brother in my ear preaching the same song and dance about focusing on my goals and leaving these niggas to the streets.
It’s just a lot, and I needed time to process all those thoughts,” I admitted.
Jabari stared at me. “So, why didn’t you tell me all that? I feel like I’m a reasonable guy, and I can understand a lot of shit. You just got to talk to me.”
“I didn’t want to come off as doing too much by coming to you with this. We’re not even a legit couple?—”
“Yet,” he cut me off.
My eyebrow raised. “Yet?”
“Exactly what I said… yet . We ain’t a couple yet. But regardless of our status, you can come to me with things that are bothering you. We’re both adults. If we can’t have a simple conversation, then I don’t know what to tell you. Understand?”
I nodded.
“I should’ve told you more, but I was embarrassed.
I won’t lie. Kya was a single parent, and I did her wrong by having all the responsibilities of JaBria fall on her.
I should’ve manned up and done shit fifty-fifty.
Still, I wasn’t out here just bullshitting around.
I was growing my brand and building my cooking business.
Then one day, Kya dropped JaBria off with me and never came back until today.
Everything instantly changed for me.” Jabari rubbed the back of his head.
“But I’m learning how to balance work and life.
I got a little girl that needs her daddy. ”
“I’m sorry that happened,” I stated, feeling sorry for JaBria in all of this.
He shrugged. “We’re adjusting. I view it as a blessing in disguise. I’m learning to be a father, which was something I never had.”
“I love that.” I smiled softly.
Jabari moved closer to me and placed a peck on my lips.
“And as far as your brother, your life ain’t his.
You can do whatever you want to do. I’m sure that nigga’s living his life.
Live yours. Now, if he needs to meet me, then I’m okay with that.
Set that shit up. Either way, I’m on you bad, and I ain’t coming off you. Trust.”
He kissed my lips. I was thankful for that because he had left me speechless. Jabari reassured me, and he finally opened up to me about what he was experiencing, also letting me know that I could come to him with my worries, even though I knew it would be hard for me.
“From now on, I need you to open your mouth and talk to me. We ain’t doing that handle shit on your own.
Now...” Jabari removed his shirt and then his sweatpants.
He then pulled my robe off me and let it slide down my body.
“Get in bed and wrap those thick, short legs around me. You’re my nighttime routine now, and I didn’t know how I was going to get a good night’s rest without you. ” He slapped my butt.
I yelped and then giggled, but I did as instructed and hopped into bed. Jabari followed behind him. He threw his arm around my waist and kissed my shoulder, snuggling closer.
“Feel better?” I asked.
“Much better.”