Chapter 12 Rejection
twelve
Rejection
*BENJAMIN*
Idon’t even know her name, just that she is probably from Nova’s pack, but nothing else. She just looked at me and was grossed out. Not that I can blame her. She didn’t reject me, though. So maybe, maybe, there is hope.
Silas wraps some ice cubes in a towel and presses it against my head. “Use that, maybe it helps. You look far too pale for my liking. Are you sure everything is alright?”
He looks at me thoughtfully, like he is able to peek into my soul. He always has such a knowing gaze, which is kind of scary.
“Just a bit tired,” I explain.
“Micah said you helped him a lot,” Silas says.
“He still did most of the work,” I point out.
“Just accept a compliment when it’s handed to you,” Silas chuckles. “It’s not going to hurt.”
He turns back to the kitchen counter, starting to cut vegetables.
“Can I help you?”
“No, you can rest,” he says. “What is it with you and Marcellus not being able to rest for even five minutes!?”
“I feel useless then,” I admit honestly. In general, it’s easier for me to talk to Silas when we are alone. I don’t know why. He is a vampire prince, a very old and powerful one, but I feel more at ease with him than with Marcellus.
“Yeah, Marcellus usually says the same,” he states. “I could offer you some of my lavender bath oil. Believe me, a hot bath with that heavenly scent around you does miracles.”
I am not sure if I believe that. Silas is obsessed with bathing oils and bath bombs.
Whenever he and Marcellus argue, Marcellus orders some new limited-edition stuff to make up with him, and Silas always falters.
I don’t see the appeal of a scented bath, but Silas claims it makes him smell nice and his skin soft.
“Have you seen Marcellus anywhere?” Silas asks.
“Just briefly, when we unloaded the supplies we’d bought,” I say.
“I bet he forgot about dinner,” Silas groans. “I swear, if that man is going to be late again, I’m going to get annoyed. Can you believe that? I spend hours cooking, and then he is so late, the food is cold.”
I try not to grin. He and Marcellus are so funny sometimes, like an old married couple – at least like I imagine one. This would have been impossible in my old pack under my father. No one had fun there… aside from his closest men who could do whatever they wanted with whoever they wanted.
Silas grabs the can with olives, just to put them aside again. “Right, he doesn’t eat them,” he muses.
“Marcellus doesn’t eat olives?”
“No, he hates them,” Silas says.
“How come?”
Silas gazes at me and smiles. “You can ask him yourself.”
“I… yes, sure,” I say, unconvinced.
Silas sighs. “He is not going to bite your head off for asking questions, you know?” He stares at me, his eyes seeming to pierce my soul, again. “He is a very kind man.”
“I know,” I insist. “He has been very nice to me.”
“But?”
“He is the alpha,” I say.
Silas nods, his eyes turning sad. “You would be surprised by his story if you only dared to ask him.”
I don’t reply to anything, equally too confused and too anxious. Instead, I try to shift the topic. “Micah mentioned I could do well as a warrior,” I start awkwardly.
“He is right,” Silas agrees.
“Do you think I could pick up my training?” I ask.
“That, you need to ask Marcellus in person,” Silas says. “You can do that right now when you go to fetch him for dinner. I refuse to wait for him. Also, I am not your messenger boy. You have a voice, use it to talk – preferably with Marcellus.”
“But I-“
“What are you waiting for?” Silas asks. “I know you are lying about your headache. Your only chance of me not pestering you with questions is to go and fetch Marcellus.”
I can’t remember the last time I’ve got to my feet so fast. I jump up and dash out of the house, my ears burning in embarrassment. He looked through me so easily, and now I have to talk to the alpha or answer questions. Either way, I am doomed.
“Ben!” I hear a high-pitched voice while I’m still pondering what to say to Marcellus.
I turn around, eyeing him with Sheila and Maddie. Maddie had difficulties pronouncing my name at first, and while she has no trouble with saying Benjamin anymore, Ben has stuck.
Maddie comes running towards me, and I make sure to scoop her up. I’ve had such a horrible day, with the uncertainty concerning my mate still lingering above me like the Sword of Damocles, but Maddie makes it better instantly. “Guess who’s got a present for you?”
Maddie beams. “Ben has a present for Maddie!”
“You got it,” I chuckle, angling in my pocket for the crocheted animal and handing it to her.
“It’s a wolf,” she says happily. “A violet wolf. Mommie, look what Ben gave me?”
“It’s beautiful,” Sheila says. “What do we say when we receive a present?”
“Thank you!” Maddie beams, while I let her out of my arms. She hurries back to her mother, and as usual, I am amazed by how fast she is on her short legs. “Can Ben be my brother?” she asks Sheila.
Sheila chuckles, kissing the top of her head. “Only if Benjamin wants to.”
“I would be honored,” I say, smiling at her. Sheila wears her blonde hair shoulder-length, claiming it’s easier to handle that way, especially with a child. She looks good either way, though, a fact Micah constantly reassures her of. I think he has a thing for her.
I pat Maddie’s head. “I am your big brother now. And this here,“ I point at the wolf, “is a good luck charm, and will always protect you.”
She clasps it in her hand and nods seriously. “I will take it with me everywhere.” She turns to Marcellus. “Marc,” she says. “Are there violet wolves?”
“I don’t know,” Marcellus says honestly. “I haven’t seen one yet. But once I find one, I will make sure to show you.”
“Well then,” Sheila chuckles. “I think it’s time for Maddie and me to go back home. Uncle Micah is eating with us, Maddie, and said he will bring ice cream.”
Maddie giggles happily, waving at me before Sheila takes her away.
With Maddie gone, I feel instantly nervous again, and at the same time, guilty. Marcellus is nice to me, yet I can’t see him as anything else but an alpha. And most alphas are dangerous and violent, especially when they are in a bad mood. “Talking about dinner,” I say awkwardly.
“Oh, shoot! I almost forgot!” Marcellus groans. “Good thing you came to tell me. Come, let’s hurry back. I bet you are hungry, too, seeing how you were out with Micah the whole afternoon.”
“Yes, I am hungry,” I say, trying not to sound too anxious. Silas said that I need to ask Marcellus in person, and he wouldn’t do it for me. So, if I want to do something for the pack and be a useful member, I need to man up. “Alpha… I mean, Marcellus?”
Marcellus halts and looks at me curiously. “Yes?”
“I just wondered, you know, maybe…“ Oh, fuck it! “I was wondering if I could train to become a warrior.” When Marcellus looks at me, surprised, I hurry to explain. “I know I am out of shape, and my father’s training regime sucked, but I think I could do it. I’ve started doing more cardio and strength training recently, and… and-“
“Benjamin,” Marcellus interrupts me before I can continue.
My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. First, my mate looks at me like I have a contagious disease, and now I will get rejected a second time. “Yes?”
“I was waiting for the day that you would come to me and ask this,” he says to my surprise. “It’s a fantastic idea! You can start training with the other warriors next Monday. I will see how you are doing and then decide which group you will join.”
“Really?” I ask, my heart skipping a beat.
“Yes. I think you will do very well,” Marcellus says. “I know you didn’t have the best training, but you were born an alpha’s heir. You have it in you.”
“Just that my wolf is still dormant,” I mutter.
“Give him time, Benj,” he says. “He needs to heal, just like you need to heal. But he is there and trying to push on. He will find his voice soon.”
We make our way back home, while I try to grasp what Marcellus just told me. He thinks I have it in me! Coming from such a strong alpha like him, this must mean something. I can finally prove myself worthy to the pack, and maybe even to my nameless mate.
The evening was pleasant enough, and my excitement about Marcellus’s approval made me forget about my mate for a while, but now that I’m in the confines of my room, it all comes crashing down on me.
She had such beautiful hair, shimmering in the sun, and the cutest dimples.
I don’t care for her rank or where she comes from; she is just perfect.
I swore to myself that if I ever got a second-chance mate, I’d make sure to prove myself worthy of her, no matter who she is.
She could be human, and I wouldn’t care.
But how? She didn’t even tell me her name.
Something stirs in my mind, alerting me instantly. Buddy, is that you?
Since I have no name for him, I have stuck with Buddy, but as usual, he doesn’t reply. However, it feels like he tries to reach out to me.
I sit up in my bed, brushing my fingers through my hair.
What am I going to do? How to reach out to my mate and convince her to give me a chance?
Frankly, I don’t have anything to offer.
I have no rank, and my name is tarnished.
Everyone who hears my last name and knows what my father did turns their back on me.
I have no likable traits and no personality that pulls people in.
I am an alpha’s son, but I am meek and helpless, and just an overall loser.
And, apparently, all I can do is wallow in self-pity and mope around.
Fuck!
A sudden surge of pain goes through me, making me clasp my chest. It feels like someone has a tight grip on my heart and is squeezing it. A tremble goes through my body. What is this? Am I having a heart attack? Can a werewolf even have one?
I can’t finish my train of thought as another wave of pain hits me, making me stumble out of my bed. Fuck, what is this?
Buddy, help me!
Silence, of course.
It seems like the pain has its grip on my lungs now, squeezing them and making it almost impossible to breathe.
Water. I need something to drink.
Barely able to think straight, with my vision blurred, I stumble downstairs into the kitchen. It’s late at night, so fortunately, I am alone. I reach out, grabbing a glass from the cupboard, when the pain hits me again, worse than before.
My body doesn’t seem to listen to me anymore, as I curl over in pain, the glass in my hand dropping onto the ground and bursting into thousands of shards. I grip the kitchen counter, trying to breathe through the pain until I finally feel it subside, only a dull ache remaining.
My eyes fall upon the mess I just created. “Just my luck,” I mumble, kneeling down to pick up the shards.
Footsteps are approaching me, making me flinch. “Benjamin?” Marcellus calls out, rushing into the kitchen. “Are you alright? Did something happen?”
“I am fine,” I lie. “I apologize. I was thirsty and came to the kitchen. Well…”
“You don’t look fine,” Silas comments, eyeing me over. “You look awfully pale, again.”
“I felt dizzy,” I say tentatively. Maybe the half-truth will suffice.
It looks like Marcellus wants to say something, too, but then he furrows his brows, glancing about the kitchen.
He turns to us, putting a finger on his lips.
I am utterly confused as to what he’s picked up on, but Silas seems to understand, because he just smiles.
Not just any smile, but his eerily threatening one.
“Does someone want an apple?” Silas asks.
“Yeah,” Marcellus says.
I try to play along and nod. “Yes, please.”
Silas takes a sharp kitchen knife and an apple, then peels it. He and Marcellus look at each other for a moment, and then, without me even realizing what’s going on, Silas tosses the knife across the room, sticking it into the doorframe. “Reveal yourself!” he snarls.