Chapter 22 An Alpha is an Alpha #2
Benjamin sighs. “I am trying to be the best version of myself so that I won’t become my father. To make amends.”
“You don’t have to make amends here,” I say. “Everyone here likes you and respects you. You have proven to be reliable and kind.”
“I feel it’s not enough,” he admits.
“Then, how about you work on that new goal of yours?” I say.
“You said you wanted to become a stronger warrior and want to take your training seriously. I expect you to live up to that promise, because I’ll need a gamma eventually, and you, as an alpha’s son, would be clearly the best choice.
As for my beta, I want to honor the vampires in our pack. Silas and I have decided on Lucian.”
“Lucian would be amazing!” he exclaims before furrowing his brows. “As for me? I am not sure I deserve it.”
“See it like I see my rank,” I say. “Being an alpha is not just a fancy rank; it also means to work for the pack and put them first. As a gamma, you are providing for the pack, too. You are at their service, and you have to make sure they keep their trust in you.”
Benjamin lets my words sink in before he nods. “You are right. I should improve myself and become someone the pack relies on.”
“I like your resolve,” I say. “So, to underline it, do you want to learn a few tricks?”
“What kind of tricks?”
“Tracking,” I say. “And learn how to move and hide in a forest, using your surroundings to your advantage.”
“You know how to do that?”
“Yes.”
Benjamin nods, and after we both finish our breakfast, I make sure to show him how to track certain animals, but also humans or wolves who passed by.
I furthermore show him some tricks about how to survive outdoors for a while, how to make fire, how to hunt and how to hide his scent in case he is followed.
“This is so cool,” Benjamin says after a couple of hours. “How do you know all this?”
“My brother and I had a bit of a ‘golden child’ scapegoat dynamic. He was the golden boy, in case that wasn’t obvious,” I explain.
“Which means I always had a complicated relationship with my father. He preferred my brother over me. Eugene was always very well spoken, could socialize well, had fantastic grades and was able to fight well. Some people just are the whole package, and I am not.”
“I think you are the whole package,” Benjamin says to my surprise. “I wish I were more like you.”
“Do you want to hear the whole story?” I ask.
Benjamin looks surprised. “Only if you feel comfortable to tell me.”
I don’t hide my past. I was just trying to wait for him to open up to me before I shared it with him. I tell him about Eugene, about Olive, and about the whole mess with her being mated to me, which eventually led to our downfall and me leaving the pack.
“Goddess,” Benjamin sounds shocked. “That is so cruel! I don’t know what to say… How are you still so kind and optimistic? Didn’t you hate your fate?”
“I did, at first. But I think Eugene and I would be terrible co-leaders. You know, there is a twin pair, not too different from my brother and me. They are going to inherit their pack and rule together, and their bond is so tight they can’t physically fight each other.
Eugene and I were never like that. I love my brother, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think we understood each other on that level.
He never had my back in front of our father, and I bent over backward too much to accommodate him and to make sure he never knew how hurt I truly was.
” I conclude, “my fate is here with Sunset Hills and its pack members, and with Silas, my second chance mate.”
“Have you ever reached out to someone from your former pack?” Benjamin asks quietly.
“No,” I admit. “Maybe that was wrong, I don’t know. First, I couldn’t bring myself to contact anyone, but then it just became more and more difficult to get in touch with my past.”
“I know I am in no position to give my opinion, but I don’t think it’s wrong,” Benjamin says.
“You can always give your opinion,” I reassure him.
“Did you have friends in your old pack?” he asks.
“Yes, I had a small circle of friends. Eugene was the more extroverted one with the big group of friends, but I had mine, too. One of them, Florence, supported me in getting away from the pack. And there was also my dad’s beta, who always kept an eye on me.
” I sigh. “And Mom truly loved me. I think I might have broken her heart by leaving, which makes it even more difficult to reach out now.”
“But she didn’t protect you, did she?” Benjamin asks. When I gaze at him in surprise, he looks panicked. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“
“No, continue. I am curious to hear what you want to say.”
“You said she supported and loved you, but she knew things were going downwards, and she turned a blind eye to it.”
“Silas says the same,” I admit. “That she was so focused on keeping her ‘happy family’, that she forgot how much it pushed me into a corner. He thinks I’ve always put her on a pedestal, and that she deliberately ignored what was going on. Goddess, I was so pissed when he said that the first time.”
First and only time I was actually mad at him. Although obviously, he was right.
Benjamin tilts his head. “Don’t you think they will find out where you are sooner or later?”
“You and Silas practiced this beforehand, didn’t you?”
At that, Benjamin laughs. It’s the first time, in a while, that I see him smile so openly. Maybe the first time ever.
“I have been thinking about reaching out to my old friends,” I tell him. “Maybe it’s time to mend some bridges.”
“And your brother?” Benjamin asks curiously.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Part of me misses him, but the other part has moved on. Even if I meet him again, I don’t know if we will reconnect.” I muse. “Okay, that’s enough soul-stripping for today. Let’s head back home.”
“Already?” Benjamin asks, sounding disappointed.
“We can repeat this anytime,” I promise him.
“There are still plenty of tricks I can show you. I also learned some stuff while I was hiding and being a rogue for a couple of months. But for now, we should go back, so that you can finally go to sleep. It’s afternoon already, and you must be exhausted. ”
“True,” Benjamin admits, surprisingly honest. “My body feels drained.”
“I will need you over the next couple of days, for our new pack members who will arrive,” I say.
“Micah and I were at Alpha Ezra’s pack and talked to the so-called problem cases.
Guess what? They aren’t problematic at all.
They will arrive on Friday. And Cass will take the wolves he is hosting to our pack on the same day. ”
“That’s great,” Benjamin beams. “I want to help!”
“Alright, then let’s get home to have some rest and be ready for the upcoming work.”