Chapter 48 Marked
forty-eight
Marked
*BENJAMIN*
Lori and I are sitting on the balcony, each of us with a glass of wine. We just had dinner – Lori made a casserole, and it was amazing. The wine was a gift from Lucian, who apparently is a wine nerd, or connoisseur of wine, as he himself calls it.
“I honestly have no idea if this is good or bad wine,” Lori points out.
I grin. “Me neither. If Lucian asks, it’s fantastic. I hope he doesn’t want to know any details.”
“Just tell him it’s fruity in its finish,” Lori chuckles. “Whatever that means. Or give him something else to talk about.”
“Like what?” I ask curiously.
Lori puts her glass down before stepping closer and straddling my waist. I wrap my arms around her, taking in her alluring scent. “How about some hot gossip for the pack?” she offers. “About how their gamma marked his mate.”
“Oh?” I look up at her innocently. “That would certainly stop them from questioning my wine-tasting skills.”
“See?”
I swallow thickly. “I would love to mark you, Lori. Are you sure you are ready?”
She wraps her arms around my neck and leans her forehead against mine. “Of course, I am. I… I hate many parts of my past, but I am thankful that it led me to you. If you want me, I will be yours.”
This is all the motivation I need. Of course, I want her to be mine!
I want nothing more than to mark her and be with Lori forever.
With what I hope is a smooth move, I scoop her up in my arms and get up.
It takes a moment to regain my balance, but I manage to get us both into the bedroom in one piece, and without accidentally dropping Lori or stumbling like an idiot.
Once I put Lori onto our bed, all my bravado leaves me.
This was my one cool moment, but I haven’t planned further than that.
Now I am feeling panic settling in. Lori, however, sits up on the bed and starts unbuttoning her shirt.
I watch her in awe as she pulls her shirt off.
She is so beautiful. Everything about her is amazing.
When she reaches to undo her bra, I stop her. “Can I do that?” I ask nervously.
She looks happy. “I would love that.”
I try to gently unhook her bra, wondering how the fuck women deal with that.
That’s more complicated than one of Silas’ lessons.
I manage to open her bra eventually, letting it drop down, before helping her out of her pants until she is completely naked in front of me.
I am wondering if it’s okay to touch her, but Lori beats me to it, taking my hand and leading it to her breasts.
“You are so beautiful,” I proclaim while feeling the soft skin between my fingers.
“I am just a normal woman,” Lori says. “Nothing about me is special. There are many women who are much more beautiful than I. I have broad hips, I am not skinny, I-”
“You are radiant,” I tell her. “Everything about you looks amazing to me. I love you.”
Lori smiles at me. “I love you, too,” she says.
With her opening up to me like she is doing now, it’s so much easier for me to find my confidence.
I tug my own shirt and pants off, slightly embarrassed that my dick is already erect.
I gaze up at Lori, relieved when she looks at me in fascination.
Thank Goddess, she doesn’t hate what she is seeing!
Lori wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer.
Her lips are so close suddenly, I completely forget that I am naked in front of her, and kiss her delicious lips.
Lori presses her body against mine, her breasts against my chest. I have never been so close to anyone.
Lori’s lips move from my lips to my neck, sucking at it while she guides my hands to her chest.
“How will I know what you like?” I ask anxiously. “Or if you like where I touch you, and how?”
“I am dripping wet for you,” she says, making my cheeks flush. “Touch me wherever you want to.”
“And if you don’t like it?” I ask.
She grabs my face between her hands, smiling at me. “I will tell you if I don’t like something. I promise.”
I decide to trust her and her promise. I move one hand over her smooth skin, feeling her nipples between my fingers, fascinated at how they get harder when I twist them.
“I like that,” Lori whispers against my neck.
Spurred on, I daringly move my second hand between her legs.
She is right, she is wet for me. At that realization, Stellan almost does a backflip of joy.
Her scent fills my nostrils, intensifying now that she is aroused.
At the same time, the tingles from our mate bond make this almost feel so surreal. I push a finger inside her easily.
“With your thumb,” Lori whispers. “Try to touch my clit.”
Good thing I googled female anatomy a couple of weeks ago, in the hope that one day Lori and I will have sex and that I won’t be like a completely clueless idiot.
I am still clueless enough, even with the research.
No one in my pack ever taught me anything.
I fumble about, but Lori guides my thumb to where she wants it to be.
A moan leaves her lips, sending a shiver down my spine.
My own erection gets almost painfully hard at hearing her moan and at smelling her sweet scent.
Lori’s hands leave my neck and suddenly wrap around my hard cock.
A jolt of electricity goes through me, at feeling her hands tightening around it.
And with only a couple strokes I realize I can’t hold back anymore.
“I am so sorry,” I blurt out when I come.
Oh shit! I came so fast. She just touched me, and I came.
I fucked this up. “I am so sorry,” I blurt out, pulling my own hands away from her.
*LORI*
“I am so sorry, I am so sorry,” Benji keeps apologizing over and over again and looks completely crestfallen. My heart breaks at realizing how much self-hatred he still projects onto himself whenever he feels like he did wrong.
My heart breaks even further when I realize how little he knows about intimacy.
And I don’t mean actual sexual intimacy, but any kind.
It makes me wonder if he has ever been hugged before.
If anyone had ever taken him in their arms and held him.
His whole body seems to stiffen and react to even the tiniest touch.
My own first time was horrible. I was roofied, and it took me until only a couple of weeks ago to realize what truly happened to me and that I was, in truth, raped.
For years, I thought I was just a worthless whore and that it was all my fault.
But even I had moments where I was held, where someone would brush over my hair.
The gamma’s mate was a kind woman who worked with some of the orphans and also let me help out sometimes.
She was always gentle and kind to me. She would sometimes pat my head or hug me when I needed it.
It’s the bare minimum, but at least I had that minimum.
Benjamin apparently had nothing like that.
Before he can pull away further, I reach out my hands to touch Benji gently.
I don’t want to hug him, afraid it might do more harm than good.
“It doesn’t matter,” I reassure him gently.
“These things happen all the time. We only just started.”
“It’s about you,” he protests, turning away slightly. “I should be better for you. I promise to develop more skills in the bedroom, and then I can please you the way you deserve. You deserve the best.”
“Do you really think that?” I ask. “That I deserve the best?”
“Of course.”
“What makes you think you aren’t the best?” I continue to ask. I clench my fingers around his hand. “No one has ever asked me what I wanted. No one has tried to make me feel good in bed or thought about how to please me. You are the first to think of me, and it means the world to me.”
Benjamin looks at me now, surprise written all over his face.
I slip a bit closer, hugging him from behind and pressing my body against his back.
It’s a broad back. Despite him having this sensitive, kind and sometimes insecure side, he is still such a reliable person.
I can easily lean on him. “No one is born a skilled lover. I don’t know all that much about sex either.
I only know how to please others, but I have no idea what I want.
You asked me what I want, but the truth is…
I have no idea. We will both turn into skilled lovers by practicing with each other and by learning what the other wants.
No couple starts off as a perfect sexual match.
” I kiss his shoulder. “I am so glad the goddess sent you to me.”
“Well, technically, she sent you to me,” he says, turning in my embrace and pulling me against his chest. My heart makes a happy skip that he is opening up again. “And I am very happy about being gifted with such a strong, beautiful and kind mate.”
“I feel safe with you, Benjamin,” I say. “No one has ever asked for my consent or was scared to hurt me. No one ever wanted me to tell him to stop in case I wasn’t in the mood or felt hurt.”
His whole stance softens, and his look turns from panicked and terrified to warm again.
I don’t know much about this kind of thing, but it looks like a panic attack or even a PTSD reaction to me.
When the time is right, I will try to softly push him to go to therapy.
Honestly, it wouldn’t hurt me much either to go to therapy.