12. Derek
12
DEREK
I parked my SUV at the overly crowded lot at the school. Even though I offered to drive Claire—because I knew how few parking spots there would be here—she opted to drive on her own because she was looking at a property further out in the country.
She sure was a businesswoman, set in her ways to work, work, and… work. I used to be like that too, stuck in the rat race and always wanting to get ahead. I scaled back when Jenna was pregnant, but it wasn’t until I realized I was it, that I was a single parent to Naomi, that I gave it all up for good.
I didn’t miss the stress and never-ending pressure to hit the goals, but sometimes, a fleeting sensation of being inactive hit me. I was never idle. Being a single parent didn’t allow for much downtime, even with her in school. It was a different sort of busy, though, and when I thought back to how much I accomplished at the successful investment firm I started and left behind, I wondered if that was what drove Claire to be a workaholic. That need to succeed. A confident woman didn’t scare me. The more she wanted to cement her life as a realtor, the more power to her.
But it did make me wonder if she could handle being a girlfriend over the holiday season—even under false pretenses.
I walked toward the school, nodding acknowledgments at the other parents and staff members I knew. Everyone was herded inside, toward the gym, but I lingered out in the cold, hoping Claire would be here.
It wasn’t like we were attending a grand gala or a black-tie affair. We wouldn’t be announced. There was no single point of entrance where everyone could see us come in. Adults and other spectators to the holiday recital were bottlenecked at the gym doors, and we were all supposed to squish in as a big mass before finding seats.
I didn’t want to lose her in the crowd, though. And I was hoping she’d enter with me so I wouldn’t have to suffer anyone coming up to me going in.
Derek: Are you on your way?
Claire: Yes. Got held up by a train.
That sounded about right. If she was looking at properties further from town within the county, any number of tracks could hold her back.
I sighed, wondering where my brother-in-law was. Nicky mentioned being free to come see Naomi do her part, but he stressed that he was busy wrapping up custom projects that customers wanted in time for Christmas. He wouldn’t be able to watch the whole thing, but I’d appreciate his showing up when he could.
I bet he can’t get away.
Keeping to myself and standing near the curb of the parking lot, I rocked on my feet and waited.
And waited.
It didn’t matter how many times I glanced at my phone, both to check the time and to see if she’d texted again. She wasn’t here.
“Come on…” I begged quietly.
She hadn’t been lying when she said she prioritized her career. If work was all that she devoted her time to, maybe she’d overestimated herself in being available to fake date me.
Or she’s that eager for my property ? —
There she was. As I pivoted to watch the cars still coming into the parking lot, I caught sight of her. In another business-like pantsuit, her hair in a strictly tight braid, she jogged toward me. Like every other time I’d seen her, she was smiling and bright. Never down.
Doesn’t that peppiness ever exhaust you?
I tried it out, though, smiling in kind as she approached me.
“I forgot that the trains rule out here,” she admitted. “Am I late?”
“Nah. Lots of people are still coming in.” I gestured for her to walk with me to the recital. “And you’re right. Those trains are in control of anyone’s best-laid plans for punctuality.”
“Whew!” She stuck to my side, walking in with me and smiling at the people we squeezed in with. It was too loud to talk and be heard in the narrow vestibule jam-packed with too many bodies. Babies cried. Relatives laughed and chattered.
It was only when we were fully inside the gym and looking for seats that I could try to talk to her. “I’m glad you made it.”
“Oh, no. Did I have you worried?”
“No. But I can see what you mean about not making time for dates around your job commitments.”
“Even fake ones.” She winced. “It’s been tricky, managing the office remotely. Don’t worry, I’m vested in warding off the female population of Preston for ya.” Leaning toward me as we scanned the big room for seats, she patted my arm.
Meanwhile, I had zero intention of selling her much, if anything.
“I told Naomi last night that I bumped into you in town and that you’d come to watch her recital.”
“Oh, yay!” She smiled, seeming to distinguish a fake need to look like she was with me but a real one to support my daughter’s performance. “I remember when my dad would come and I’d spend the whole time looking for him. What’s her part?”
“She’s a reindeer handler. For all of maybe… five seconds.”
She laughed, shaking her head as I pointed out a pair of seats in the middle. Before we could reach them, we had interference in the form of the woman I didn’t want to suffer.
“Derek! So glad you could make it,” Mackenzie gushed. She made eye contact with me—only me—as she came in for a hug.
Dammit. I reared back, trying to escape her hug, but that just prompted her to try harder. She bumped her elbow into Claire’s shoulder in the process, hitting her so hard, she forced her to stumble to the side and catch herself from falling into someone else already seated.
“Whoa.” She muttered it but didn’t lose that ever-constant smile. She was a trooper through it all, no matter what.
“Of course, I’m here, Ms. Ford.” I edged out of her reach, not even returning her hug. “My kid’s in the play. Why wouldn’t I come to see her?”
“You mean you’re not here to see anyone else?” She winked, stepping closer to rub against me.
For fuck’s sake… I sighed, running my hand through my hair.
“Hurry. I got us seats,” she said, urging me to follow her toward the right.
“No, thanks.” I glanced at Claire, who seemed to be looking anywhere but at me. How awkward. Just like that, the happiness I felt at seeing Claire show up for me and seem genuinely excited to see Naomi perform fell flat. Irritated and frustrated, I tried to shove this grumpiness further back and look glad to be here. In the holiday spirit and all that crap.
“Derek?” Claire asked. Slanting toward me, she adopted more of a whisper to keep this confidential. “Are you sure you’re not already taken?”
“No.”
She frowned at me, then glanced past me where Mackenzie likely stood, ushering families into seats.
There was no point in masking my annoyance. But it wasn’t at her. Damn you, Stacy, for ever letting that woman think there was a chance with me. “I’m supposed to look like I’m with you .”
“You’re not… You’re not going to call off our deal, are you?”
I wanted to cringe at her priority about the deal. She really cared about buying up land around here. Maybe I’d read her wrong when she acted excited to see Naomi on the stage.
“No.” Hell, it was only our first attempt at this fake dating crap.
“All right.” She smiled, confident and bright, as she took my hand and held it. The soft press of her small fingers slotting in place between mine unnerved me. It felt different—obviously—from when Naomi held my hand. But she was the only one I ever did this with. Holding Claire’s hand zapped me out of this grumpiness.
“Then I’ll show them that you’re with me .” She shifted in her seat until she was nestled more against me. “We’ll show them all.”
I suppose we will. While the contact of her hand on mine jolted me awake, the full-body touch of her side leaning against mine jolted me further.
The lights dimmed and the curtains parted, robbing us of a chance to talk about how we’d pull off this ploy of looking like we were a couple. Naomi spotted us and waved so enthusiastically that she knocked off the reindeer antlers on the kid next to her. Claire waved back, and I swore a little ice melted off the walls I’d put up around my heart. Then after the act that Naomi was technically a part of, Claire whooped and cheered so loudly and full of spirit that other parents around us took it as a challenge to out-applaud her.
Unfortunately, Naomi could only personally excite us for so long. Her part was done, and for the rest of what felt like five hours, we sat through all the other kids botching lines, acting like stars, and otherwise giving this show their holiday best. Some forgot lines. Others dropped props. But overall, it dragged on, and on, and on, interspersed only by the demonstration of which families had obviously paid for singing or dancing classes already.
Fortunately, though, Claire proved that she understood the assignment. After my comment about needing to look like I was with her, she ramped up the PDA so much that no one could be wondering if she was with me.
We held hands. She snuggled into my side, and I draped my arm around her shoulders. We laughed at our mutually shared whispers of commentaries. I offered to buy her a drink at the “intermission”, and she reached up to press a chaste kiss to my cheek.
We were together, and I knew it without a doubt when Mackenzie shot me multiple dirty looks from across the room.
As the recital finally neared the end, I wondered what could replace this glow of fitting in with her. I’d forgotten what it felt like to be half of a pair—on a date or otherwise. Jenna was the last woman I’d let in like this. And while I knew Claire was only supposed to be faking it here, I wondered if she remembered that. Her ease with small talk seemed so natural. The awkward pauses weren’t popping up. Lurking beneath the surface, that awareness simmered between us.
There was a draw. A bond. Something luring me closer to her.
But it’s all fake. We’re pretending.
“Is that inspired by the river near your property?” she whispered, pointing at part of the scenery the theater department had painted on big sections of plywood.
I furrowed my brow, instantly bothered by her question. It served as a reminder that she was only here with me as part of a deal to get land I didn’t intend to let go of. I was lying. I was cheating, all to spare myself the headache of women like Mackenzie.
She’s only here for work. She’s only in this for the end result that won’t be happening. That dampened my mood, and I wanted to kick myself for starting to wonder if she wasn’t only faking it. Just because she handled this so effortlessly, as if she really were my date and the woman I was dating, I had to remember that she was a decoy, all for the purpose of business.
“Sort of.” I cleared my throat, feeling like an ass to enter this deal without honest intentions. “I’ll have to show it to you sometime soon.”
“Oh, I can’t wait.”
I mentally cringed, disappointed in myself that I’d stooped this low. I’d worded my end of the deal so loosely that it would seem like a loophole, a play on words and terms that hadn’t been clearly defined. But now that I had a preview of what it could be like with her in my life, my mood soured more.
We stood, clapping and cheering with the rest of the audience as the recital ended. Outwardly, I made sure to look proud and happy, but internally, I festered in the darkness of shame and regret.
What have I started?
This wouldn’t work if I kept thinking about how I was duping her.
Or if I let myself wonder and muse about how right it was to be next to her.