13. Claire
13
CLAIRE
T he following Friday, I walked out of the community rec center to take another call. I hated to step out from activities with Naomi. She was too much fun to be around, and each time I excused myself to take a call, she frowned as though she worried she wasn’t worthy of all my attention. Derek handled it in stride, reassuring me that he understood. He was formerly in the investment field, and he commented on how deals could come at any time of the day. Calls were frequent interruptions, but he was understanding.
“I never expected you to put your whole life on hold for me. Or this.”
He’d told me to try a different, slower pace of life. While I stayed in Macomb and came into Preston daily for the holiday events he wanted to be seen with me at, I was trying out a different approach to a work-life balance.
But I was still in charge, despite Grace being back at the offices in Denver. I was in charge of many accounts. I supervised plenty of teams and employees. I had countless acquaintances to keep in touch with. Networking was a critical component of this business.
“Hey, Shawn,” I answered as I stepped outside.
“Are those geese?” he asked as a greeting.
I stepped further away from the entrance space to the rec center. “Carolers down the way,” I replied.
“Oh. Is that supposed to be Jingle Bells ?”
I giggled. “Be nice.”
“Okay. I’ll try. But why, again, are you staying out in Podunk?”
“To close a deal.” I grimaced, hating how I was trying to do so.
“Hmm. Right. Okay, well since I’m here and you’re not, I thought you might want a heads up that your darling sis is asking around about the Grummond properties and?—”
“No!” I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned. “I told her not to mess with that one.”
“Yeah. That’s what I reminded her of.” He sighed. “But she’s super, like super, super, eager to try to figure out a way out of her latest gambling mistake.”
“Thanks. I’ll call her now.”
While I was glad that Grace was trying to help the situation, her poking around with that specific client would not end well. I had Mr. Grummond figured out and he would not like my sister trying to butt in.
I called her, relieved when she picked up right away. “Leave Grummond alone,” I warned.
“I just thought the negotiations could be urged along. It’s taking so long and?—”
“No,” I repeated. “I figured out how to handle him years ago. Him and his business partners. They’ll come through when they do. They just like to take their time.”
“But we could use the sale now ,” she argued.
“Well, of course I know that!” I hated my tone as soon as I spoke. I didn’t mean to snap at her like that. I never snapped. Smiling, as if the physical feeling of that gesture could force me into lightening up, I sighed. “Sorry.”
“No. I’m sorry. My stupid gambling mistake?—”
“Hold on.” I paced, getting cold out here. “Stop that. Just please, stop calling it a gambling mistake. It’s not a mistake. It’s a habit. A bad one. And so help me God, Grace, as soon as I get us out of this mess, then you’re going into rehab. You chose to gamble. It wasn’t a mistake. It stopped being a ‘little mistake’ years ago.”
She didn’t reply for a long while. When she did, it almost broke my heart. “I know. I know , Claire. And I will. Dad and I had a long talk the day after Thanksgiving. We already found some resources I can use. A couple of programs and such.”
“Good. That’s good, Grace. I’m proud of you.”
“I’d rather hear that you’re proud of me for landing a good deal or something like that.” She huffed. “I mean, I’ve got some ideas, but you’ve been the one in charge for so long.”
That wasn’t what our father wanted. “Whereas Dad wants us to be partners. To work as a team.”
“I can’t when you always take charge.”
It was my turn to admit fault. “I know. And I don’t want to always be expected to take charge. To always fix everything.”
“You shouldn’t,” she said sadly. “Maybe you shouldn’t try to fix it this time. Let the chips fall where they may. I wouldn’t be able to learn the consequences of my actions if I know you’re always there when shit hits the fan.”
“No. Hey. Don’t talk like that. We’re not going under.”
“Claire. Be honest with me. If it weren’t for me, don’t you think you would’ve branched off into your own company already?”
I stopped short, attacked by that question. I had thought about doing my own thing. Many times, I'd wondered how different my life would be if I followed what I wanted versus what was expected of me. Barone Realty was my life. It had been for so long because it was also family. It was the glue that knitted me and Dad and Grace together so closely, and we’d needed that close-knit arrangement after Mom passed away. We leaned on each other, and it was easier to cement close bonds when we followed Dad’s footsteps.
I couldn’t imagine doing anything but real estate. It was what I was good at. Dad started small with residential properties, but the real money was in the commercial deals and commercial properties. It wasn’t often that I got to handle a smaller scale residential sale and negotiation, but I favored them. Grace, understandably, preferred the higher stakes of bigger deals, the less personal commercial deals.
“Your silence is telling,” Grace said gently.
“No. No.” I frowned, realizing that she was taking my nonanswer as an answer. “I love working with you.”
She sighed. “But Claire, we don’t need to work together forever. We have for so long because Dad trained us to follow his path. And it made so much sense because we were relying on each other after we lost Mom.”
“But…” I paced again, slower.
“But we’ve moved on. We have grown. Dad retired, remember? He was able to want something else in life. And he made it happen.”
“Grace, we are fine. The Barone sisters, in charge of the company.”
“Yeah, at the cost you put out to save my ass over and over again. I hate that you feel stuck and obligated to have to clean up my messes.”
Then you’d really hate what I’m sacrificing to make a deal happen here. She wouldn’t approve of my almost selling myself off for the sake of getting a prime piece of real estate.
No. This will be our secret. No one but Derek and I needed to know about our deal.
As I considered how it had been going this past week, it didn’t feel like a sacrifice at all. So far, we’d shown the people in Preston that we were dating when I went to that cute but overly long school recital. Then they saw us together at a little holiday party put on at the library, where Naomi liked to visit so often. And then again, at an after-school craft program yesterday. Today, this sing-along thing and then sledding.
I suspected that Naomi had her daddy wrapped around her finger, but she wasn’t taking him for granted like that. I saw how close they were, how they were each other’s world. And in that regard, it made sense that they’d want to do things together, even including me as a third wheel.
It was no sacrifice at all to join them in these holiday festivities. If I had to be honest about it, I had fun hanging out with them. Naomi’s questions were cute, reminding me of when I wondered about so many things in life. Derek was patient and not pushy, showing me what I had been missing out on with all the lousy dates I’d endured and the awful men I’d met.
If I could change anything about spending time with Derek and Naomi, it would be to lessen the obligations of all these calls and the need to put out little fires back in Denver. Each time I had to step aside and take a call, I worried that I was showing the world that I was only a career woman, never anything else. Letting my job define me had never been an issue before, but as I got a sneak peek of this slower family life pace, it made me wonder if a bigger change in my life could be something that would fill my heart.
Hearing my sister hint at the chance of my doing something else with my life sounded like a slight changeup. But considering stepping back and letting the idea of a family taking more of my time was a significant alteration that I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
“Claire!”
I whipped around, just having disconnected from this call with Grace where she promised she wouldn’t mess with the Grummond account.
Naomi ran out from the rec center, smiling as she darted my way.
“Hey!” I grinned, catching her as she launched at me. Derek walked up behind her, hands in his pockets and as chill as ever.
“Are you done with work?” she asked, fully aware that my constant calls were not for trivial reasons.
“Yep.” For now. “So. Sledding?”
She was so excited about the snowfall last night.
“Yeah!”
I laughed along with her since her bubbly mood was so infectious.
We headed toward the best hill in Preston, which was surprisingly not too crowded.
“Most people have their own hills,” Derek said. “At least the ones living near the river.”
I had yet to see his land, but it became something of an afterthought. We had been so busy with all the holiday things going on this week.
“I like this one,” Naomi declared, pointing down at the snow under her boots.
Over and over, we slid down then walked back up. My thighs were getting a heck of a workout with the climb, but I couldn’t complain. I’d sleep so well once I managed the drive back to Dad’s house. And Naomi kept up such a constant chatter that I didn’t have time to think about the aches in my underused muscles, let alone complain about them.
When she decided to sled down solo, Derek snagged the sleeve of my coat between his fingers. “Hey, wait a second.”
I smiled back at him, slightly jealous that he didn’t seem to be suffering from any overexertion in a physical sense. He had yet to break out a sweat on the walks back up the hill. And he was the one dragging or pulling all three sleds to the top.
“What’s up?” I asked. Hugging the sled to my chest, I waited for him to talk. We weren’t too close out here like a couple, sledding. Besides, it made sense to tone down the PDA and keep things PG around Naomi.
Oh, stop being ridiculous.
It was a moot point to worry about being PG or toning anything down. We weren’t really doing anything. And since this was all supposed to be fake, we wouldn’t be doing anything of that nature.
Not that I’ve thought about it… Nope. Not once.
I sighed, admiring him in his coat and scarf, bundled up but not at all intimidated by the great outdoors. Even like this, masculinity oozed off him.
“I was thinking we might not be doing this right.”
I gaped at him. “What? What did I do wrong? Did someone say something?” I narrowed my eyes. “Is that sixth grade teacher trying to talk to you in the pickup line again?” I growled. “That does it. I’ll come with you next time you pick her up and?—”
He chuckled, lifting his hands as though to tamp down a fire. “No. No. It’s not that.”
“Then what?” I worried that I’d failed somehow.
“We’ve been doing family things.”
I nodded. “Right.” I grinned. “It’s been so much fun.”
“But not romantic things.”
My heart beat faster. I couldn’t draw in a decent lungful of air, caught and feeling so put on the spot. Right when I’m telling myself not to lust after him or wish for a chance to kiss more than just his cheek playfully, he had to say that ?
“Umm…”
He raised one hand higher, as if to calm me down. “A fake romantic date.” He cleared his throat and stuck his hands back in his pockets. “To really show people that you and I are a couple.”
“Versus…?”
He sighed. “My sister thinks I’m trying to hire you as an after-school nanny or something.”
I laughed. It started as giving in to one bark of laughter but rolled into more. “A nanny? Jeez. I guess we really do need to scale up the effort.”
“Are you interested in that?”
I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head to the side as I studied him. This smile wouldn’t quit on my face. “Okay, now that sounds like you’re really asking me out.”
He shrugged.
What does that mean?
“Would you be okay with a dinner date? Just you and me?”
I was more than okay with that. I’d wanted Naomi-free time to talk to him. About his land. About his life. About what parenthood was really like. Excitement filled me at the notion that I could have his unfettered and complete attention. I enjoyed that warm, cozy feeling that swept through me when I caught him looking at me, watching me, or laughing with me.
Just as quickly as I got giddy, I grew nervous.
He’s only asking for the sake of looking like we’re a couple.
Not because he wanted to really be a couple.
I hated this sensation that I was a fraud, pretending with him like this. Sledding, crafts, butchering Christmas carols, and all, I was having too much fun to be able to say I was faking anything anymore.
“Just us?” he asked, not giving up as I stood here and tried to find the words to reply.
A gentle, almost careful smile curved his lips up. As though he was nervous about what I’d say.
Could he…?
I sighed, knowing it was stupid to wonder and wish he’d actually be interested in me. To want it to just be us, not for the sake of putting on an act.
What am I thinking?
That would only complicate things.
How could we figure out acting on real desire when he was not ready to commit to a woman?
How could I keep things clean and clear between business and love when I was only here because I wanted his land?
“Claire?” He raised his brows, expectant as I debated on a response. “Never m?—”
“Just us,” I confirmed. “That sounds like a great idea.”
If only I could mean it for real.