18. Derek
18
DEREK
C laire and Naomi stayed outside and played in the snow for a lot longer than I thought they would. Noses were red. Cheeks seemed windburned. But they were smiling and laughing and having too much fun to make me want to stop them.
I told myself not to watch. I didn’t want to hover. Yet, I couldn’t help myself. Every time I walked by the windows, I glanced out there and sighed at how happy my daughter looked, how chill and relaxed my supposedly fake girlfriend seemed.
They were getting along. They had already hit it off, bonding well despite it all.
And I wasn’t the only one aware of that connection. I witnessed it in Claire’s expression when she and Naomi chatted out there. I watched as some kind of realization was dawning on her.
She looked almost stunned, and I wished I could hear what they were saying. I didn’t have a reason to get worried, though, because I saw them hug and laugh all over again.
“How the hell did this happen?” I muttered out loud.
I spent years avoiding women and not wanting to risk any of them getting close. I doubted for so long that I would find one who’d fit with me and my daughter, and it was instinct to reject the idea that I could ever be in a relationship again.
But Claire… was something else.
My phone rang, pulling me from watching them, and I answered Nicky’s call.
“Just a heads up, Naomi left her bear stuffy at our house.”
I nodded. “We’ll stop by to get it when we head out.”
“Oh. Got plans for later?”
“Yeah. The animal shelter.”
He gasped. The burly carpenter gasped . “No. Are you serious?”
“Yep.”
“You’re going to get her a dog?”
“I’m going to let her look at them.”
“She will faint from happiness, man. Christmas morning, she’ll faint.”
I shook my head. “Nah. I said we could just look.”
“Yeah, good luck with that.”
I shrugged.
“Is Claire going with you too?” he asked.
I furrowed my brow, surprised that he’d ask that. “I guess. If she wants to.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“Well, Stacey came home and said you two were getting hot and heavy at dinner.”
“No.” We did that here.
“And Naomi talks about her a lot .”
I sighed.
“It’s just happening kind of fast, right?”
“Do you remember how long I knew Jenna before we married?”
“Five days?” he guessed.
“A week. One week, Nicky. Maybe that’s just how it hits me.”
“Fair enough.”
We disconnected the call just before Claire and Naomi came inside, and I was pushed into action.
“Hot cocoa’s ready,” I announced.
“Yay!” Naomi shed her winter gear in the mudroom but her boot got stuck. Claire helped her, and then they raced to the kitchen.
It was happening fast, but when she smiled at me, looking so rosy and sexy, I just knew I couldn’t deny that it was happening.
If she was making a connection to the fact that we were changing our “fake” relationship, I wanted to ride the momentum of what she likely had on her mind. “Hey, Naomi. Do you want to change into dry clothes first?”
She shivered, nodding as she left the kitchen. “Uh-huh. I’ll be right back. I’m going to put on some pajam?—”
“No. Just different clothes,” I called out. “I thought we’d head out somewhere after the hot cocoa.”
Claire raised her brows at me when it was just the two of us. “What’s up?”
That was how in sync we were. I didn’t have to spell anything out for her.
“Please don’t overthink any of this.”
She cringed and sat at the counter. “God, Derek. I hate that we’re basically lying to her and?—”
“Then we won’t.”
She gawked at me.
I refused to give her a chance to retreat. “Out there, you were just playing with her. Without me.”
“You were hovering at the window watching.”
“Yes. But my point is that you don’t seem to pretend around her.”
She shrugged. “I don’t. I mean pretending with you.”
“Then don’t.”
“Are you…?” She shook her head. “What are you saying?” She sat up straighter. “This is all changing kind of fast for me to keep up.”
“You do struggle with pacing, huh?”
She laughed once.
“I’m going to suggest that we change this up even more.”
“How?” Her brows shot up high. “You want to tell her? That we are… together?”
“I want you to stay with us.”
She reared back, shocked.
“Work remotely from here. Christmas is in ten days. Don’t stress yourself out staying at your dad’s and driving here and…” I cleared my throat. “Stay here with me and Naomi.”
“Yeah, asking me to move in with you is warp-speed fast.” She stood, and I hurried over to stand in front of her and take her hands.
“It is. It really is. But after not wanting anything to do with women for years, I want to enjoy this now. In the present. Things are changing between us kind of fast, but it feels right. To me, it makes sense to want you around.”
She lowered her gaze, swaying to lean against me. “It’s a lot…”
“All I’m asking is that you consider staying here, with us, for the holidays.”
And after… I wasn’t ready to think that far ahead. I meant it. I wanted to live in the now. I wanted to grab every moment and cherish it.
“Are you sure ?”
I nodded, stepping into her space a little more. “Yeah.” And that was the kicker. “I really am. Look at it from my perspective. I’ve spent years fending off my sister trying to play matchmaker. I’d gone through the last several holiday seasons of old ladies in town pulling me aside and insisting I give their granddaughters or nieces a call. I’ve endured a stupid amount of pressure not to be single or alone, but it took you coming into my life to prove that I was lonely. The thought of seeing you leave isn’t one I want to have in my head.”
She sighed, resting her head against mine. Our brows touched, but it was the rest of our closeness that really captured me. Feeling her sweet, warm breath on my cheek. Her hands placed on my chest, one lying over where my heart beat so fast for her.
“Okay.” She whispered it, but even this close, I felt her cheeks lift in a smile.
“Okay?”
She shrugged, leaning back to smile at me. “Yeah. Okay. You convinced me. I… I don’t look forward to leaving, either.”
I cupped her face and kissed her hard. She laughed, and it was, like every time she let it out, the music that soothed my soul.
Naomi cleared her throat. Claire jumped, but I wrapped my hand around her waist so she’d stay at my side.
“Am I interrupting?” she asked.
“No. I just asked if Claire would stay here, with us, until the new year.”
Naomi ran up to her and hugged her. “This is the best day ever!”
Claire and I smiled at each other over her head.
“You haven’t even heard about my plan for the rest of the day.”
She took Claire’s hand and led her to sit.
I slid their hot cocoas toward them and drew in a deep breath.
Here goes.
“After you’re done with your drinks, I thought about taking a trip to the animal shelter.”
Naomi squealed, getting off her stool to jump and spin in a celebratory victory dance.
Claire laughed at her antics, then joined her in an impromptu dance party.
“How many can we get?” Naomi asked when she calmed down a little.
“ Get ?” I opened my eyes wide and shook my head. “I thought we’d start by just looking.”
Claire made eye contact and laughed. “Oh, don’t look at me to be the voice of reason. I’ll want them all.”
“Yeah, all of them, Dad. No puppies or dogs want to be homeless for Christmas. We got lots of room here.”
Yeah, lots of land.
Sooner or later, I’d need to get over my guilt and tell Claire the truth.
I wanted her here, but not to make a deal including my property.
Just my heart. That was what I felt certain she already had claimed a piece of.