17. Claire
17
CLAIRE
I t was pure luck that I woke up early enough to slip out of Derek’s arms. I didn’t intend to sleep with him—again. I certainly hadn’t planned to be naked in his bed when his daughter woke up.
She expected me to be in the guest room, and it seemed safest to keep up that lie. I grabbed the clothes I’d borrowed yesterday and snuck through the house until I found a guest room. It seemed like one, without any personal effects. I’d just lain down and closed my eyes when two minutes later, she knocked on the door.
“Claire? It snowed.”
“It did?” I replied, knowing full well that it had. “Come on in.”
She opened the door to run and jump up onto the bed. Bouncing and smiling, still in her pajamas, she looked like she was ready to burst from excitement. “Are you ready?”
“For breakfast?” Derek asked as he walked down the hallway and looked in the open door. He was still shirtless, rubbing his slightly hairy but sculpted chest as he yawned.
“Daddy,” Naomi whined. “She wants to build snowmen. Not have breakfast.”
I eyed him with her back to me, letting my face lighten up with an appreciative stare. I raked my gaze over him, admiring that disheveled and sleepy appearance he was rocking. I didn’t know how it was possible or what kind of science was working behind this theory, but a man with a beard was somehow that much sexier with a gruff, sleepy voice and a face still blank with drowsiness.
He perked up, though, waking up and becoming alert to how I checked him out.
Naomi spun back to smile at me, and I quickly schooled my face back into a normal, not horny, smile.
Behind her back now, Derek did the same to me, nearly pouting that he couldn’t have a chance to get back into bed with me.
“Breakfast first,” I told her. “Because we need energy to build all these snowmen, right?”
She sighed and nodded. “You’re right. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
I got out of bed after she climbed off it. I wasn’t sure whether breakfast was the most important meal of the day. In the city, I was always on the go and never relaxed enough in the morning to pause and prepare an actual meal.
But breakfast was quickly becoming my favorite meal of the day, especially when Derek was the one making it for me, shirtless and too sexy to stand.
Naomi scampered off, shouting back to us that she was getting dressed before meeting us in the kitchen.
Derek lingered, though, leaning his arm against the doorframe as I walked up to him.
“Yes?” I asked softly, running my hands up his chest.
“I was hoping to steal a good morning kiss…” He lowered to press his lips to my cheek. “But you snuck out of bed too quickly.”
“I didn’t want her to see me there.”
He kissed my other cheek. “I know. And I appreciate that. Whatever this is that we’re doing, we need to be careful around her.”
Meaning… you want to keep this going? I smiled as he hovered his lips over mine, a breath away from a kiss. “I agree.”
“You agree to stealing kisses when she’s not looking?” he whispered.
“Yeah.” I kissed him then, sighing against his lips.
“And you agree not to look at me like that?”
I laughed quietly. “Like what?”
“Like you want me for breakfast.”
“Hmmm.” I reached down to rub over his dick. “We’ll have to work that on the menu for another morning.”
He growled, dipping lower to kiss me harder at the same time that he backed away from my reach. “Teasing me so early in the day?”
I laughed as he took my hand and guided me to follow him down the hall.
Breakfast was a hurried effort, all due to Naomi’s enthusiasm to build snowmen. Derek opted to sit out, letting us have “girl time”, as he’d termed it, and Naomi was all for it.
“Now, we need to figure out where the girls will be and where the boys should go.”
I raised my brows as I snugged my hat further over my hair. This one was Derek’s, and while it was too loose, it smelled of him, spicy and masculine. “Just how many snow people are we talking about?”
“As many as we can make!”
She dictated her preferred process for making the balls of the body, but she wasn’t all matter-of-fact and businesslike. Goofing off and being silly came just as naturally for her as everything else did.
I wondered, for not the first time, if she seemed so mature because she read so much and was world-wise in that respect. Or if she’d had to grow up so soon—too soon—because she didn’t have her mom. That didn’t add up, though. I’d lost my mother too early, but I hadn’t?—
Oh, wow.
I never imagined that this realization would hit me while making snowmen, but it did.
I grew up to be the mother of the family, too. After Mom passed away, I took the role of being the mother hen to both Dad and Grace. I looked after my younger sister in every way I could. And I still was. Over time, it had shifted into my always cleaning up after her messes and mistakes.
But when will that stop? When will I change? The awareness of how I’d grown up too soon felt odd to admit. I’d always been the bubbly and peppy one, but now I wondered if I’d been like that because I had to overcorrect how serious I was to be the mother hen and in charge. The fixer. The mediator.
My call with Grace hit a note now. She’d been telling me that it was okay to stop acting like this, but I wasn’t sure how else I could behave, what else, or who else, I could be.
“Claire?” Naomi spoke up after finishing another small snowman.
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad that I met you.”
I smiled, lowering my arms to wade through the snow to reach her. “I’m glad I met you too.”
“We are friends, right?”
I nodded. “I’d like to think so.”
“We have to be. You don’t roll your eyes at me like other adults do. You listen to all my questions and don’t get annoyed. You wouldn’t be like that if we weren’t friends.”
I laughed, slightly uncomfortable about how she perceived her worth. “We’re friends.” And I loathe all those adults who ever made you feel like that.
“And you’re Daddy’s friend, right?”
I smiled. “I think so.”
“Yeah, you’re his friend. He smiles around you. I watch him sometimes.”
“Is it okay if I’m his friend?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I like that you make him seem less lonely.”
“Oh, he can’t be lonely if he’s got you.”
“But…” She shrugged. “It’s hard to explain.”
My heart cracked at this little girl’s worries about her dad.
“You’re the Christmas wish I reserved for him.”
“You can reserve wishes?”
“I hope so. I asked for my daddy to not seem so lonely. And then I got a wish for me, too.”
“Let me guess. A white German Shepherd puppy?” I gestured at the “snow dogs” we’d made. As we both turned to look at them, one of the tails plopped off. We cracked up. She bent over, holding her tummy. She laughed so hard as I tried to save the tail and reattach it.
“Now you smushed the head,” she said, giggling hysterically.
“Oh, no. Now it looks more like a unicorn,” I agreed.
Eventually, we calmed down from our sculptures not living up to our ideals.
“But we’re friends, right?” she asked again.
I was starting to worry about why she needed the reassurance. “Yep,” I said easily. “We’re good friends.”
“Okay. Then you can’t be mad about what I did.”
I kept my smile frozen on my face. “Well, that depends.”
“At school, I used my computer time to look up eye doctors for you. I might have made three appointments for you at different optometrists after the holidays. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”
I gawked at her, then laughed with a huge grin. “Oh, Naomi. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
“Really?” She ran up and hugged me.
“Yeah. Because that’s what friends do. Look out for each other.”
For a long while, we hugged, and in the background, I spotted Derek standing at the window and watching us. A slow smile spread on his face, and I wished I could lock in this warm feeling of affection that he made me experience from one tender expression on his handsome face.
I was clueless about how to navigate this with Derek. We were moving fast, but I had to be cautious with Naomi. The last thing I wanted to do was get too attached, but I feared it was far too late. This wasn’t feeling casual between me and Derek anymore, and I worried that having sex might have messed it all up.
It wasn't right for me to cave to him last night, or the night before. But it had felt too damn good to go for what I wanted for once.
Standing out here in the vast openness of the Scotts’ land, I realized how much property Derek owned. It seemed endless, but I knew it wasn’t. At least not yet. He’d promised to deal with me for a sale, and when that happened, I’d be putting a limit on his open land out here where he lived with his daughter.
I’d be putting a limit on whatever could happen between us, too. Our deal was supposed to be the only thing connecting me to him.
And here I was, letting the cool air whip my cheeks as I stared out at the endless snowy slopes… falling that much more in love with the father and daughter I couldn’t think of cutting ties with for any reason.
Not even a deal to save my family’s company.