Chapter 22 #3
But the intensity grew. She gave herself over to it. Daniel licked faster, with more hunger. He devoured her completely. She had no doubt that he could sense what was happening, and he coaxed that feeling as if he was helping a fire to catch a light and explode.
“Daniel!” Alison cried out because exploding was exactly what happened.
She squeezed her legs tight around his head. She pulled his hair as her body went stiff. She kept her eyes shut, she held her breath, and she waited for her entire being to be torn apart into a million little pieces as that was surely what was happening.
“Yes!” she cried. “Yes! God, Daniel, yes! Please, do not stop – yes!”
The sensation opened her wide, exposing her, only to clamp down suddenly and consume her completely.
She let go of his head. She opened her legs.
She clenched her jaw and breathed in fresh air as the explosion settled and slowly vanished until all that was left was her withered frame and empty mind.
What on earth… how did he… what just happened?
And as for Daniel? He pulled his mouth free and looked up from between her legs, a satisfied smile across his wet lips. “I did warn you,” he said. “You asked for it.”
“Might I ask for it again?” she breathed heavily.
Daniel climbed back onto the couch and nestled in beside Alison; she was still shaking, still so hot she thought that she might catch fire, but also as satisfied and content as she had ever felt.
Once he was next to her, she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in as close as she could do. She was no longer fearful of his rejection; certain they were past that point by now.
They did not speak. There felt no need for words. Rather, they simply held one another, letting their bodies cool and their breathing return to the moment and the magnitude of what just happened settle on them.
And as she held Daniel, as her mind played over what had just happened, Alison realized that she was finally ready to admit the truth that she had somehow always known but had been terrified to voice.
Before today, she had not been sure how Daniel felt…
or rather, if he would ever admit how he felt.
But that was the past and this was the present and she understood completely what that meant.
I not only care for Daniel, but I love him. That’s right. Everything I have thought I felt can be boiled down to that simplest of feelings. I love Lord Grayhill, and it is time that he knew it.
Was it the smartest thing to do? Was it too soon? Alison’s mind was so fractured and confused she did not stop to consider it. All she knew was that she wanted him to know. She needed him to know.
“Daniel…” Her voice was soft, and it cracked as she spoke. But she pulled herself away so that she could look at him. “There is something… I need to tell you something.”
She made sure to be looking right at him because she wanted him to see the truth of her words, not just hear them. So, she met his eyes, held them, and opened herself to him completely.
“I think I am… I have started to fall…” Her tongue grew thick, the words she wanted to speak struggling to come through.
And when she saw the way his brow furrowed, the shadow passing behind his eyes, she knew immediately that she had made a terrible mistake.
“You must be tired.” He was quick to clamber to his feet. “Exhausted, I am sure.” Across the room he walked, rushing as if trying to escape.
“You’re leaving?” she cried after him, half moving to stand but not daring to go after him. What if I do and he runs…
He reached the doorway and turned back, but he did not look at her. Rather, he looked past her, seemingly determined not to see her as she needed him to do. “I’m afraid that I have work that needs to be done.” He paused for a beat, but his eyes still refused to meet hers. “It cannot wait.”
“Oh…” She tried to smile, but could simply not do it. “Will you… shall we sup later?”
“I am afraid not,” he said. “I am quite busy, Alison. You understand?”
She did understand. If not for how quickly he was to leave her, then how he refused to look at her. He was desperate to get away, how ashamed he appeared over what he had done. It is just like the last time… only much, much worse.
“I suggest you get your rest,” he followed up. “It has been a long day, and I am sure that you need it. Besides…” He straightened and turned stoic. “Your family will be here in a day or two. Best that you are ready for them.”
“Ready for them?” she did not understand.
“No doubt you are eager to return home, finally,” he said. “Just as I am certain they are eager to see you returned to them.”
With that, he strode from the room without saying another word.
Alison watched him go, her mouth hanging open, the walls around her collapsing as if they meant to bury her. She could not believe what happened. She could not believe that Daniel would revert so quickly back to who he had been.
Perhaps she was a fool to have not considered such a thing?
Despite everything, he was a closed-off, cold, and dispassionate man who never pretended to be anything different.
She had tried to see the other side of him.
She had tried to force it to the fore. At the end of the day, he was exactly what she knew.
Not that this stopped the pain. Not that this softened the hurt. Alison stayed on that couch, her heart cracking down the middle, wondering how she had lost him so quickly… realizing then that she never had him in the first place.
And that admittance, that cold realization, hurt more than anything else.