Chapter 36
We have a problem.
On Saturday, a few days after the conversation with Danielle, the children and I were store-hunting.
We’d just toured the space that would be perfect for a pharmacy.
The building sat near Sherman Oaks, where many affluent people of color lived, and on a street full of cafes and small businesses.
The nearest retail pharmacy was five miles away.
I walked around the space smiling while the twins bounced around the vast space.
This would be my legacy. I’d put off my career to be there for my family long enough.
My husband had been living his dream for our entire marriage.
He had a phenomenal career, except for a Super Bowl ring.
His multi-million-dollar salary continued the generational wealth his mother had already begun to build through her stylist career.
Carter had been generous with his blessings.
He helped my brother and sister with business ventures, paid off my parents’ home, and invested in his younger brother’s club, which opened last year in Dallas.
It was my turn, and I’d finally found a place for Like Home Remedies.
I couldn’t wait to show him. Maybe then he would see and understand my vision.
“Elle, what do you think?” I asked my daughter, whose maturity was otherworldly. We’ve had real conversations about life since she was three. “What do you think?”
She walked to me while Ethyn ran in circles around the large space, enjoying the open room to run. “I love it, Mama. It’s pretty here. This is the one.” She pulled her cell out of her back pocket.
“Calling Daddy?”
Carter is in Seattle for a game tomorrow.
She grinned, flashing dimples she inherited from me. “Yes. He might be taking a break.”
“He might.” I hugged her before walking to my realtor, who kept a respectable distance at the front of the property while I surveyed the space.
Ms. Taydra, the older black woman, smiled as I approached. “What do you think?”
“I think I need to speak with my husband and let him check it out before we sign papers.” I grinned. “After weeks of searching, I finally found the spot.”
Ethyn rushed to me, more handsome than his father. “Mama, can we get boba tea after this?”
“Say, ‘excuse me.’ I’m talking,” I reprimanded.
“Oh...excuse me...can we get boba tea?” Ethyn could be singularly focused. Whatever he wanted, he wouldn’t stop until one of us gave in, which was usually me. Carter had a firmer hand with him, and he very seldom tried his father.
“What needs to happen while I’m talking?”
He sighed and spoke in a monotone, “I need to say ‘excuse me’ and then wait for your answer.”
“Did I say you could speak?”
“No, ma’am.” He waited a beat, “Can I please have some boba tea?”
This child. “We need to eat lunch.”
“Can we find a place that has boba tea, too?”
“Can I finish with Ms. Taydra?”
“Yep. Would you like to have lunch with us?” He gave Ms. Taydra a charming grin, looking so much like Carter.
She smiled. “Such a handsome boy. I already have lunch plans. Thanks for inviting me.”
“No problem.” He ran back to the other side of the room, where he had left his cell on the floor.
An iPhone that I didn’t want either child to have yet, that Carter insisted on so that they could call him at any time.
He usually won the battles with the children, mainly because he could fight better than me.
I usually gave in to his demands. It’d been easier that way.
For the most part, he’d been an easy man to follow.
“As I was saying, I’ll see if my husband can stop by once he comes back in town.
I’m sure we’ll be on the same page.” It’d been a month since the ESPN party.
School and the football season were in full swing, and we were a busy family again after a restful summer.
He and I seemed to have found our groove again.
I decided to focus on the present and future, not what Carter had been doing and with whom before we saw Grey again.
“Mama? Daddy wants to speak to you.” Elle walked over, holding her cell up. She had Carter on FaceTime. He appeared to be in a hotel suite, fully clothed in a jersey and joggers, in bed.
I walked away from the realtor. “That’s not you to be in bed in the middle of the day.”
“It’s a raging storm here. Tried to practice, but there’s only an outdoor camp for the visiting team. So, we’ll have a late-night practice.” His gaze caressed me. “We need to FaceTime more. I miss you. Can’t wait to get home and fuck you senseless.“
His deep voice echoed in the quiet space. I quickly muted my cell, went to the back of the store, then unmuting and whispered, “You do know I’m with the children and my realtor?”
He grinned. “So? Married people fuck. In fact, according to the bible, we’re the only ones who should be fucking.”
Rolling my eyes, I held the phone close to my face. “I don’t think you should use ‘fuck’ and the bible in the same sentence.”
“He knows my heart and that I’m only speaking the truth. You’re wearing my favorite T-shirt, showing off my breasts.” It was a Prince T-shirt that dipped low in the front.
“Your breasts? I believe they’re on my body. I just let you borrow them from time to time.” I giggled.
“No... no... no... your entire body has Carter St. Patrick written all over it.” He raised his shirt, displaying his ripped abs and firm pecs. “Like this has Darren all over it.”
“Aww...I love it when you’re like this.” I smiled. “I know I said I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday, but now I want to get away. Just to a hotel in San Diego for the night or something, because I know you can’t go anywhere far now. I can fly Mama out here to watch the children.”
When he hesitated, I compromised, “We can discuss it later or when you get home tomorrow night. Elle called you anyway to show you this place. I didn’t think to FaceTime you so you could see it. This is it. I can feel it.”
He tucked his hand under his head. “Baby, we may be moving in a few months. It doesn’t make sense to start a pharmacy now. I thought we discussed that.”
My blood began to boil as I tempered my tone. “No, we discussed that we may be moving. Not that I wouldn’t start my pharmacy.”
“It takes a while to start up a business, and that makes no sense if we’re in a different city. Just wait until we’re in Dallas.”
“Every time we get here, you come up with a new reason to wait. If we move, that won’t happen until next summer because we’re not yanking the children out of school. I can start it, hire a manager to run it, and drop in once or twice a month. It’s like a two-hour flight from here to Dallas.”
Carter raised one eyebrow. “Three-hour flight.”
I bit back my annoyance. “Then I'll check in once a month instead of twice. In a couple of years, I’ll start another one in Dallas if that’s where we’ll be.”
“I don’t know why you’re in a rush. You can start your pharmacy anytime,” he replied, still in chill mode, in his hotel suite. Anger rose as every second passed. Carter just didn’t get it or care to understand.
“I was supposed to start it when the twins were two, and then when they were three, once they started pre-school. Then, two years ago, when they began kindergarten. We decided to push it off every time so I could volunteer with the school and still be with our children. They don’t need me like they used to, and I don’t want to wait anymore.
” I stopped myself before we began a full-fledged argument and pleaded, “Just look at the place, and you’ll see why I’m excited. ”
“No,” he replied quietly. “We’ll discuss this more when I get home, and if we decide that starting a pharmacy now is the best for the family, I’ll check it out.”
I hung up Elle’s phone. He tried to call back, and I immediately muted it.
Then my cell rang in my purse at the front of the store.
Wanting to curse and scream, I scanned the area.
The children chased each other around the store, and my realtor had stepped outside on a call.
I had nowhere to go to explode. I knew his refusal now would be a refusal later.
I’d allowed him to make most of our decisions because he was the head of our family, and we were usually on the same page.
He wouldn’t have the final say this time.
We would talk tomorrow night when he got home, and if he refused to budge, I would sign the papers and proceed on my own.
My cell rang again, and I angrily shook my head.
He’ll be lucky if I speak to him again until he’s home.
I walked to the purse that I had placed on the front counter and pulled out my phone.
Expecting to see Carter’s name on my screen of missed calls, my hands trembled when I recognized Grey’s old number. How did he get my number?
“Mrs. St. Patrick, are we wrapping up, or do you need more time?” The realtor stepped back inside and half-held the door open.
Still staring at my phone, I answered, “Umm...just send me the paperwork. My husband may not have time to see it before I sign, but I do need to review everything with him. We can wrap up for today, and I’ll call you next week.”
I pressed the phone to my now racing heart and announced, “Hey...it’s time to go.”
Ethyn, who was nearest me, said, “Wait, Mama...you have to see this.”
“What?” I looked across the room, and Elle stood with her head leaning forward, her toes facing the front, and her legs apart. Prepared to run.
He looked at his cell. “Go.”
Elle immediately sprinted across the long, open space and hit Ethyn’s hand when she finished. “Mama, she did that in three seconds. She can beat me, and everyone says I’m fast at school.”
“Mama, I think I want to run. I can tell Daddy I found something I like.” Elle jumped around, her eyes bright, looking so much like the man who had just come back into my life.
The man who just boldly called me. The man who would want to know that he has a child in this world who wants to run like him.
I sagged against the counter, watching my children jump around happily, oblivious to the storm brewing that could destroy everything they ever knew about our family. And my love for two men placed my children in the center of it.
I caused all of this.
No one’s fault but mine. I chose to have sex with both men without resolving my feelings toward them before I did so.
I knew I was falling in love with Carter when I slept with Grey, and I knew that Grey had my heart when I decided to be in a relationship with Carter.
I’d been young, selfish, and na?ve to think I wouldn’t have consequences for my behavior.
Eight years later, it was all coming back to haunt me, and I had no idea how to stop the ghosts of mistakes past.
“Mrs. St. Patrick, everything okay?”
I turned a startled head to Ms. Taydra and answered honestly, “Not really.”
She stepped fully into the store and walked closer with a warm smile. “Anything I can do to help?”
“Thank you. I wish there were something anyone could do. This is all me, now.” I resolved before ushering the children to the front door. “Come on, let’s get lunch and boba tea.” The children cheered and rushed out of the building and to the SUV parked outside on the street.
While the realtor locked up, I stood outside, picked up my phone, and texted him.
Can we talk? 11:55 am
He immediately responded,
Tell me when and where. 11:56 am
Thursday. I’ll send a location later. 11:57 am
That’s your birthday. 11:57 am
I know. Don’t contact me again. You won’t hear from me again until I send the location. 11:58 am
I eased the phone into my purse, pulled my shades off the top of my head to cover my eyes, and strolled to my car.
A delicious thrill coursed through me, and I didn’t know if it was because I was taking charge of my life again or that I would be in Grey’s presence on my birthday.
Either way, I looked forward to my birthday for the first time since I turned twenty-one.