Chapter 4 #2
“We debated if Lou was sharing his Pebble Beach bogey story with you.”
“Ha! No, but he got a new putter.” Tanner stepped around me and tugged at Moses’s lead. “C’mon, I’ll help you get this crew into the barn.”
We had people who could take over from here, but I didn’t argue. We wrangled the horses inside and set about watering and brushing them down.
Tanner was quiet, speaking in his usual slow, honeyed tones to the animals. I was doing the same, more aware of the cowboy than I was on the horse in front of me.
Ten minutes later, he met me in Buttermilk’s stall, brushing his hands as he moved closer.
“She’ll be okay,” I assured him. “Her appetite is low, but it’s mild indigestion. And she’s the only case so far.”
Tanner inclined his head. “I figured as much. I’m anxious to move the cattle, but it’s smart to wait till the new herd has acclimated a bit. How about you? Have you acclimated?”
I cocked my chin. “Uh…yes. Thank you.”
“Good.”
C’mon, Axel. You can do better than that. Talk to the guy. Say something, anything. Don’t be so fucking awkward.
“I’m no stranger to this work, though. Been doin’ it a long time.”
Okay, that sounded dismissive and ungrateful.
I opened my yob to smooth out my rough edges, but Tanner beat me to it.
“How about Phoebe? Does she like school?”
“Uh…yeah. She’s doing well,” I replied, heat flooding my face.
Thankfully, I doubted he could tell that I was blushing like a nun in a sex shop—for no reason whatsoever, I might add.
“Glad to hear it. Has she been on a horse yet?”
“Uh…no. She’s been on a pony, but she’s still pretty small and…” I stopped puttering around the stall, looking for things to do and finally met Tanner’s gaze. “Phee wants to dance. It’s all she talks about lately. Wants to be a ballerina.”
“Good for her.” His eyes sparked with pure sunshine. “What do you know about ballet?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
Tanner snort-laughed. “I can’t help you there, either. But Vicki probably can.”
“Who’s Vicki?”
“Vicki the Vixen. She owns the soup cantina next to Moody’s bookstore in Christmas Town.”
“Oh. Right.”
Christmas Town.
“Vicki’s a hoot,” he continued. “And once upon a time, she was a Vegas showgirl.”
“Uh…”
He snickered good-naturedly. “Hey, I know what you’re thinking—skimpy sequined costumes with fishnets and feathers. All true, but Vicki was a real dancer. I’m pretty sure she knows tap, jazz, and ballet.”
I inclined my head, ready to change the subject and say my good-byes. It would be awkward ’cause I couldn’t seem to avoid making shit awkward lately, but I was still coming to terms with a fierce and totally inappropriate attraction.
And sharing tight confines in a horse stall with a man whose mere scent made my dick twitch was daunting as fuck.
But something stopped me. Maybe it was the fact that Tanner made an effort where one wasn’t expected or needed. He was just…a good guy.
I could ignore that he was nice to look at and be polite. It wasn’t my default setting, but I could try.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said woodenly. “What exactly is Christmas Town?”
“What’s Christmas Town?” Tanner widened his eyes comically. “It’s only the coolest little place on the whole West Coast. An entire village dedicated to all things holiday, all year long.”
I wrinkled my nose in distaste. “All year? That sounds awful.”
“It’s actually pretty awesome. I swear. Every shop in Christmas Town has a theme.
” He casually leaned against the stall door.
“Let’s see…there’s a toy store called Elves R Us, Donner’s Diner, Vicki the Vixen’s Coffee Café and Soup Cantina, and Moody’s Marvelous Bah Humbug Bookshop. Your kiddo would love it.”
“Probably, but I doubt I would.”
“What’s the matter?” he taunted. “Axel the badass cowboy vet wouldn’t dare to be seen in the land of candy canes, reindeers, and the big ol’ guy who loves to ho-ho-ho?”
“Fuck off,” I grumbled without heat.
“You know they’re looking for a new Santa. You’re bigger than the current one, and you’d probably fill out the suit a little better.”
“Very funny.”
I petted Buttermilk’s neck and moved toward the gate.
I didn’t unlatch it. Instead, I fussed with my sleeves, pulling the fabric over my forearms and buttoning them to give my hands something to do.
It wasn’t exactly cold in here, so no doubt I’d end up repeating my efforts in reverse in a couple of minutes.
Tanner chuckled. “I have my moments. If you’re thinking about going, I could tag along and give you a tour of the town.”
“Why?”
“Why not?” he countered. “The parade is a big draw around here. Everyone dresses up and walks down Holiday Lane. There’s a pumpkin decorating contest, bobbing for apples—red and green for Christmas, of course, and a haunted house. Most of the ranch will be there, including the guests at the lodge.”
Tanner was standing close to me now, his biceps brushing my shoulder as he reached for the latch. Heat radiated from him like a fireball. I covered the hitch in my breath with a cough.
“I’ll think about it,” I replied, extending my arm to unlatch the gate, unthinking.
He got there first, and I couldn’t stop my momentum.
Honest, I’d only wanted to escape. I hadn’t meant to touch him.
Not now. Not while he was inches away, crowding my space and stealing my oxygen.
No, that was me. I was the one standing too close. I had to step away. But the pull was stronger than ever—like a current I couldn’t fight.
Tanner swayed closer, so close I could smell peppermint on his breath and a masculine musk that ticked a box I’d ignored for decades. I didn’t have to hide anymore, but that didn’t mean I could act on attraction. This was wrong.
Don’t do it, don’t do it.
I clenched my jaw and balled my fingers into tight fists.
Listen, I didn’t always pick up social cues. I tended to walk away in the middle of a sentence, tune out boring or unhelpful monologues, and I’d been told that my eye contact could be a little too intense. I wasn’t hopeless. I was just rusty at the art of peopling.
However, in that instant, I knew this wasn’t a one-sided attraction.
No one had looked at me quite like this in a long, long while. He wanted me.
I stared, riveted by the spark of mischief that catapulted Tanner’s handsome features into something extra. High cheekbones, a square jaw, plush lips, and a white jagged scar under his left eyebrow.
“What are you thinking?” he rasped, his Adam’s apple gliding along the column of his neck.
“I think I want to kiss you,” was the first thing that popped into my mind.
Tanner bit his bottom lip like a fucking porn star. “Do it.”
I grabbed Tanner’s shirt and crashed my mouth over his.
He gasped in surprise but immediately tilted his chin to deepen the connection, losing his Stetson in the process.
A moment later, he snaked an arm around my neck and pushed his tongue inside.
Twenty years of pent-up desire burst like a dam or a goddamn avalanche.
And that was where I lost control.
I flattened Tanner against the stall, caging him between my arms as I feasted on his mouth, greedy and ravenous. I lowered my hand from his pecs to his side, loving the feel of muscles and the scruff of his end-of-day beard. I bit his chin and licked his lips, devouring every sigh and moan.
Somehow, I kept my dick out of the equation. I had a steel pipe behind my zipper, but tipping a make-out session into humping and grinding was dangerous. Then again, there was a very real chance I’d be out of a job soon, anyway. And he tasted so good and so—
Buttermilk’s whinny had the effect of a bucket of cold water. We broke the kiss, panting and gaping at each other as if in shock.
“Should I apologize?” I choked out.
“No,” he panted.
I held his gaze for a beat, but I had no clue what to do now. I cleared my throat. “I should…go.”
Tanner frowned, rolling his bee-stung lips experimentally as he bent to rescue his hat. “Okay.”
I didn’t run, didn’t even walk fast. I strode, cool and collected, to the office, picked up my keys and wallet from the locker I’d been assigned, and headed for my truck as if it were any ol’ day.
For the record, I was not cool or collected. I was raging inside, consumed with a carnal want and need that rocked my core. Maybe I’d denied myself for too long, or maybe it was all Tanner.
It didn’t matter. I didn’t have the luxury of philosophizing. I had a kid, and she was my number one priority…always. That kiss was a one and done, never to be repeated.
The scene at the stable played on repeat in my head all evening and well into the night.
I put on my doting dad hat through dinner and bath time and read five books before bed.
But once I was alone, that kiss took on a life of its own.
I couldn’t concentrate on the cop drama on TV or the biography I’d been slowly picking through for the past three months.
I gave up and took a shower. With warm spray sluicing over my skin, I braced a hand on the tile, gripped my cock, and stroked languidly, reliving the taste and feel of a man. Of Tanner.
What would it be like to really touch him? Would he sink to his knees with his mouth open and ready? Would he let me suck him, fuck him?
I could feed him my cock, hold his hair while I pumped my hips.
When his eyes watered, I’d pull him to his feet, spin him to face the wall.
I’d lick water from his skin, nibble his neck, bite his shoulder as I spread his cheeks and breached his entrance with lubed fingers…
one, two, three. Don’t ask how the lube magically appeared. It just did.
And in my fantasy, Tanner was wild for my cock.
Fingers splayed on the tile, ass out, begging for me to fill his tight hole.
I squeezed my shaft and imagined disappearing inside him.
White light and a burst of tingling pleasure lit me up in an instant.
I came like a shot out of a cannon, grunting through a release so powerful my knees buckled.
I stood under the lukewarm jet, blinking wildly.
Fuck me. That was…wow.
If I was grinning like a fool in the aftermath, so what? It was just an orgasm. A solo one, no less.
As for that kiss, I had no doubt there’d be a price to pay.