Chapter 5
TANNER
“Not even Halloween yet, and peppermint is suddenly everywhere. Peppermint hot cocoa, peppermint bark, peppermint ice cream, and get this…peppermint cream donuts. That’s just filthy.”
I eyed the pink box on my kitchen island warily. “But you bought some anyway.”
Jax shrugged. “I had to. You can’t call yourself a donut connoisseur if you’re not willing to take one for the team once a season.”
“Ri-i-ght,” I drawled, bringing my mug to my lips. “But I don’t eat sugar like you do, so the real question is…why’d you bring them here?”
“You seemed tense yesterday. Stressed. That’s not your usual modus operandi, and people notice.
Well…Gem noticed.” My brother peered inside the box, broke a maple bar in two, passed one half to me, and shoved the other half into his mouth.
Speaking around the donut, he added, “A little sugar is good for you. Eat up, buttercup.”
Gem, by the way, was Jax’s secretary and a childhood friend of our mom’s. She was a bleached-blond five-foot-nothing ball of energy and a bit of a busybody. An observant busybody—’cause yes, I’d been stressed as hell. The thought of bumping into Axel after that kiss had my stomach in knots.
Unsurprisingly, Axel had been the only thing on my mind for almost forty-eight hours.
No, longer. But this wasn’t a simple matter of inappropriate infatuation with an employee anymore. That had all changed when he’d kissed me.
Axel Vogel, loner cowboy and vet, had kissed me.
No, he’d ravaged me, and I’d given as good as I’d gotten. Every twist of his talented tongue, every lick, every sigh, every spine-tingling growl of need had stoked a fire into an inferno.
I’d had my share of sexy barn escapades over the years—with men and women—but not in a while. And even in my horniest state, I’d been aware of my surroundings. Making out with the hired help in the afternoon of a regular ol’ weekday was just…reckless.
For fuck’s sake, we had cameras in the stable for security purposes.
I’d remembered them yesterday morning and had raced to the office to review the feed like a private investigator on a new case.
And since I’d had no idea how to pull up that exact area in the system, I’d made up an excuse with security…
something about wanting to see how Buttermilk had responded to medication. So ridiculous.
Yet not a fruitless endeavor. The camera was set up to monitor the horse, not the stall door.
However, you could see Axel, his hat tilted and one hand on the gate.
That was it. The angle had cut me off. Thank God.
I hadn’t had to delete any footage, which might have been worse ’cause the sight of Axel’s back, his ass, his hat was just enough to evoke a lustful response.
Not ideal at seven a.m. while in the freaking office.
So Axel was bi and seemingly interested in me, but that didn’t change anything. Or did it? I wasn’t sure. And bumbling through yesterday with an eye out for Axel while simultaneously trying to avoid him had been exhausting. No wonder Gem had noticed.
I bit into the maple bar, unthinking, and wrinkled my nose. “Yuck. Too sweet.”
“That’s what makes it amazing.” Jax licked his thumb, then let my two greedy Labs, Gordy and Lila, lick his fingers. He petted them on their adorable heads and wordlessly instructed them to lie at his feet.
“Man’s best friends,” I grumbled.
Jax laughed as he reached for his mug, snapping his head to the side to shake his longish hair from his eyes.
My brother was eighteen months younger than me—I was thirty-six, he was thirty-five—but we might as well have been twins. We even looked alike—light brown hair, green eyes, and lanky frames. Jax was thicker around the middle, though, thanks to his love for sweets.
He was a curious combination of fastidious meets sloppy that was difficult to explain but obvious once you’d met Jax.
Today, for example, he wore a pressed long-sleeved tee with the Oak Ridge logo emblazoned on the front, dark jeans, and scuffed sneakers.
The fact that he’d ironed a T-shirt but forgotten to shave wasn’t really a mystery. It was just Jax.
“Your dogs love me.”
“They do. The fact you always have treats or sticky fingers doesn’t hurt either.”
He snickered. “Probably true.”
“Well, thanks for sharing, but you should take the rest to Gem and the crew,” I said. “I’m gonna get to work and—”
“It’s early, Tan.” He kicked the barstool toward me and sipped his coffee. “Sit.”
I sat. Two seconds later, I was on my feet, topping off my cup, though the last thing I needed was more caffeine. “Want some?”
“You’re acting suspicious. Are you nervous or something?”
“What? No.”
Jax narrowed his eyes, but let it go. “We have to talk about the third annual Christmas Light Show. Nothing much to it. We’ll let Mills deal with food and drinks, someone will have to handle games…
if we’re doing that again, and we’ll need to make sure the vacant bungalows get decorated. That may come down to me and you.”
“You know I love the holidays as much as you do, but we’ve got a solid month till it’s time to worry about putting lights on the houses.”
“Just something to think about. Maybe we should put fake trees in the windows of the empty houses. The more lights, the better, and—” Jax put a hand over his mug and gave me a funny look. “My cup is full.”
“Oh. Right.”
“You’re turning into an absentminded professor. Something’s going on,” he astutely guessed. “Gem thinks you have boy problems. It’s Rich, huh?”
“That’s—no. I…no. Where would she get that idea?”
“She saw you two in the parking lot of Kolby’s Steak House recently. Dark interior, fine linens, good wine, and candlelight usually signals romance,” he singsonged. “Are you getting back together? If so, how come you didn’t mention it to me?”
“It was dinner, Jax. Only fucking dinner. No minds have been changed,” I blustered, annoyed that we’d started a rumor.
What had I expected? We lived in a fishbowl on the outskirts of a small town where everyone knew your business. If Gem had told Jax I’d had dinner with my ex, half the ranch was probably placing bets on whether we were together again and how soon I’d propose.
“Then why go out with him?”
“Because we’re friends.” I annunciated irritably.
He studied me suspiciously. “You broke up a year ago and suddenly you want to go to dinner and be friends?”
“No, but…” I stared out the kitchen window at the swath of grass wet with morning dew. “He suggested we try being friends with benefits.”
Jax widened his eyes. “No shit? That’s very…un-Tanner-like. Or are you interested?”
“No. I like Rich and I respect him, but I don’t think I can do sex only. Not with someone I care about…who also happens to be an employee. It’s cold and it sounds like trouble.”
Jax furrowed his brow. “If your mind is made up, what’s the problem? Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, of course not,” I assured him.
He regarded me thoughtfully. “Seems like you are, and I see where you’re coming from, but there’s no shame in a friends-with-benefits arrangement.
It can be healthy. So many people are in dysfunctional, noncommunicative relationships.
Knowing what you’re getting and what you can expect without any emotional baggage would be… an early Christmas gift or something.”
“You sound like a barbarian.”
“Yeah, but I’m a barbarian who shares donuts.” Jax scraped the barstool against the hardwood floor and closed the pink box.
“Thanks. And thanks for checking on me, but don’t worry…I’m fine.”
He stopped at the kitchen side door to pet the dogs. “I know. You always are. But here’s a thought—give yourself permission to have fun once in a while, Tan. All work and no play isn’t good for anyone. If Rich isn’t a good fit, find someone who is.”
He was gone before I could object.
To be honest, it was typical of my brother to come bearing treats, gossip, and a hedonistic approach to a perceived problem.
I didn’t think much of the conversation as I headed to the ranch. I had a busy day that included meetings with distributors. I had to be on my game and ideally, forget about Axel.
We’d have to address the kiss eventually—probably—but not today. Or tomorrow. It wasn’t a big deal.
Really. It wasn’t.
But of course, the first person I ran into on my way to the barn was Axel. And it looked as though he’d been waiting for me. He tipped his hat in greeting and fell into step beside me.
“You’ve been avoiding me. I think that means I fucked up, and if I did…I’m sorry,” he said in a rush, his gaze fixed forward.
I stopped in my tracks and shook my head. “No, you didn’t fuck up.”
“Are you sure? ’Cause—”
“Yes, I’m sure. But…it’s complicated.”
“Not really. It’s just biology.”
That made me laugh. “Just so we’re clear, I have no qualms about kissing a guy. I’m bi.”
“Same here. I’m just a couple of decades out of practice,” he admitted, finally turning to face me.
“Decades?”
He nodded. “We can forget about it if that’s easier, but…I don’t want you to avoid me. I like you, Tanner and…well, I hope I didn’t blow it. That’s all.”
My grin practically split my face in half. “You like me, huh?”
Axel rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I do. I’m not suggesting we…you know…date or anything. I don’t even know what that means, and I’m a single dad with—”
“Hey. It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I won’t get ideas, but you know what could be fun?”
“Uh…you look a little devious. I’m not sure I want to know.”
“Christmas Town.”
Axel blinked. “No.”
“Yes. Let’s go this weekend.”
He furrowed his brow. “Why?”
“ ’Cause it’s harmless and fun and you can bring your daughter. Kids love Santa.”
“How did a kiss turn into a trip to see Santa?”
I winked. “The world works in mysterious ways. Are you in?”
Axel’s lips curled at one corner. “I’m in.”
Christmas Town? After that kiss? What was I thinking?
It was as if my brain and my mouth were working independently. Spending time with Axel away from the ranch could either be completely harmless…or a total disaster.
Wish me luck.