Chapter 11 Axel
AXEL
Living on a ranch was different from just working at one.
I was awoken each morning to crowing, mooing, bleating, and neighing in the distance.
Not all at once, but in soothing intervals.
The rooster’s call meant it was time to get up.
When the goats started bleating, I should have been showered, dressed, and ready to wake Phoebe.
And if the cows and horses got in on the action, we’d better both be in the truck, heading toward town to drop Phee at pre-K.
I loved everything about it, which shouldn’t have surprised me.
I’d grown up on a working ranch, but it had been nothing like Oak Ridge.
This was like ranching paradise—or the theme park version, anyway.
It was organized to a T. The winery was located at the opposite end of the property—a good couple of miles from the iron gates of the main entrance.
The dude ranch and lodge were adjacent to the stables but far from the barns.
And the cottages were located somewhere in the middle, situated in a horseshoe design with a walking path along the back side.
Dozens of trails for leisure riding or for transporting goods spanned from one end of the property to another. Oak trees dotted the pastural farmland as far as the eye could see. It was a truly stunning piece of land, and a great place to be a kid.
Phoebe suddenly had a slew of children her age to play with in a safe space where there was always an adult around to supervise.
There were rules, of course, but she had freedom to visit the goats and pigs, and she’d even had a few horse riding lessons.
She climbed trees, danced with her friends in the yard, and fed the animals.
She’d even had a say in naming Nellie’s kids.
Socks and Sprinkles, in case you’re curious.
Everything I was hoping to provide in our upcoming move to Texas was right here. And best of all, so was Tanner.
Tanner with his ready smile, easygoing manners, kind heart, and hot body. Tanner with his infinite ability to make anyone feel welcome and valued. He was the sort of person who gave and gave, and never seemed to ask what was in it for him.
Orgasms?
No, he would have offered the bungalow free of charge whether or not we were fucking every chance we got. That was a fact.
Part of me wondered why I hadn’t put up more of a fight. I didn’t need or want charity. Phee and I would have been perfectly fine in our place by the creek for two more months. The drive was an inconvenience, not an impediment. And I knew how to make the best out of a less than ideal situation.
But lately, I wasn’t stressed about money or work. The bungalow was, as Phee said…cute. We had neighbors I trusted ’cause I’d spent time with them and the animals. And let me tell ya, you learned a lot about folks by how they treated kids and animals.
When Angie organized a trip for the girls to go to the beach and stop by Christmas Town for hot chocolate on the way home, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. Sleepovers, no problem. Movie night with popcorn in our living room, sure thing.
And when Tanner invited us to the main lodge for Thanksgiving, I didn’t think twice about saying yes.
We dressed up in our finest and enjoyed an incredible feast prepared by a talented chef.
Abby and her family weren’t there, but Phoebe got a kick out of being the only kid in a roomful of fancy adults, most of whom were aunts and uncles of Tanner’s and Jax’s, business partners, old friends, and a few employees.
Like Rich—a pretty, professorial-looking man with a soft smile and a mop of brown hair. He had eyes for Tanner, who was polite as always but didn’t pay his ex any extra attention.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Rich gushed, pushing glasses along his straight nose. “Tanner mentioned he’d hired a new vet.”
“Did he?”
“Yes, I work for Santiago at the winery. Word gets around,” he added blithely.
“Um…I noticed that. You’re a wine expert.”
“I am, actually. I’m a viticulturist. I manage the vineyards and the harvest. I had a great job with a winery in Napa out of college, but after the fire a few years ago, I needed a change of scenery.
I’d heard that Tanner and his brother were growing their own grapes and decided to take a leap.
I landed on his doorstep with a résumé and my suitcase, and thankfully, he hired me on the spot.
” Rich’s smile dipped slightly. “I’ve been here for four years now. No regrets.”
Something in his expression indicated he might have one regret. I was nosy, but I was a gentleman. Mostly.
“We’re happy to be here,” I commented. “Everyone has been very gracious. Jax, Josh, Hudson, Tanner—”
“He’s my ex,” Rich blurted.
I winced, unsure how to respond, and decided honesty was the best policy. “I heard that too.”
“Oh.”
We stood awkwardly under the glitter of the crystal chandelier in the grand living area, watching Phee flit about. She paused in the middle of the room to show off a few spin moves and once she finally ran out of steam, she skipped off to raid the appetizer table.
“That’s my daughter, Phoebe,” I said to fill the growing silence.
“She’s cute and…”
Rich’s voice faded when Tanner crouched in front of Phee to share cheese from his plate. My daughter giggled with my lover while his ex anxiously crinkled a cocktail napkin, and I couldn’t help thinking that life was strange.
Something so sweet could be laced with pain, depending on your point of view.
I knew all about pain and longing, and for a split second, I wondered if I was setting myself up for another dose.
Maybe I had more in common with Rich than I’d thought…’cause I knew it was going to hurt to lose Tanner.
But I didn’t want to dwell on endings. I was too used to looking for ulterior motives, ways my house of cards would collapse, and how I could undo the damage. Just enjoying the ride was a new one.
For now, I’d take Tanner’s lead and…let go.
Finding innovative ways to grab a few minutes to ourselves was a challenge.
We’d started sneaking off at lunchtime so we could have an hour naked in one of our beds rather than a furtive fuck in a stall or in Tanner’s office.
It was fun and sexy and life-affirming in a way that sex hadn’t been for me in years.
And we talked…constantly. Tanner was more loquacious by a long shot, but he was easy company. We rode horses from one end of the ranch to the other, chatting about everything from high school football exploits to random questions that could seemingly spark major conversations, like:
“What’s the worst haircut you ever got?” he asked, tossing a ball for his dogs.
“My grandmother put a bowl on my head and snipped loose hair all the way around. It looked goofy, so she shaved the sides. I had a bowl-cut mullet. The first of its kind.”
Tanner barked a laugh. “No way.”
“Yeah, my third grade picture was a doozy.”
“You made that up.” He snorted.
I did, but it was fun to yank Tanner’s chain. “Can you really remember a bad haircut?”
“No, but the weirder the question, the more you learn about someone. It’s a fact,” he said, pulling his arm back and launching the ball. “Here’s another one. What’s the worst place you ever got sick?”
“A movie theater.”
He snickered. “What was the movie?”
“The Parent Trap. Popcorn, black licorice, and an extra-large slushy combo of cherry, cola, and that blue crap did me dirty,” I groused while he laughed like a loon. “The Butterfinger candy bar was one sweet too many.”
Still laughing, Tanner’s eyes creased against the sun, the light breeze blowing his hair, his dogs jumping at his feet.
I felt…free with him.
Light.
Happy.
Tanner had no clue how very surreal that state of mind was for me. Like unlocking a sweet memory, unearthing the dregs of joy that had been long dead and buried. Something that was mine alone. Not tied to my child’s happiness.
How did you explain that to someone? And how did you show appreciation in a way that didn’t involve sex?
I thought about asking Jax or Hudson, but I wasn’t prepared to invite speculation. I’d have to figure Tanner out on my own.
However, the only pressing matter on his mind in the month of December was—the holidays.
“I hate to rush you, but you gotta get the lights on that bungalow, big guy,” Tanner said, throwing the ball again and turning to make eye contact, which I took as his way of saying he was done fucking around. Those lights were a priority.
“No problem. Phee’s watching a movie at Abby’s house now. It’s probably a good time to do it. I can surprise her.”
He whistled for the dogs to come. “Great. I’ll help. I’ll take Lila and Gordy to Jax’s and meet you at your place in five minutes.”
And that was how I found myself on a ladder, stringing lights on the roof.
“Looking good. But…no, that bulb is crooked.” Tanner squinted from the lawn where he was busy wrestling some plastic snowmen out of a box. “Can you maybe…yep, point them upward. Perfect!”
We worked liked that for fifteen minutes or so—Tanner managing the action and doing…whatever he was doing.
“What’s that?” I asked, brushing off my hands, my gaze darting from the colorfully lit roof to the huge plastic sheets on the ground.
“Blow-up figures for the yard. I found Frosty, Rudolph, and Santa in your storage unit. We have to run electricity from the house to inflate them. But first…we gotta put lights on the tree.”
“What tree? I haven’t picked out a Christmas tree yet.”
He pointed at the huge olive tree nearby. “The olive tree. Tiny lights go on the trunk and they get wrapped around each limb.”
I scratched my nape, knocking my hat over my eyes. “That’s a damn big tree, Tanner. Gonna take a while.”
“Not if I help you. C’mon. It’ll be fun!”