Chapter 11 Axel #2
The thing about putting up lights in your neighborhood is that your neighbors see you and they want to give an opinion or tell you about their lights, the fresh wreath they picked up at the garden store, the sale on poinsettias at the farmer’s market in Santa Ynez, or the skinny Santa sighting at Rudolph’s Fudge Shop in Christmas Town.
Nonstop talking.
I tried to be polite, but my grin-and-bear-it meter ran low most days, and stringing lights was a tedious chore.
“Why’s everyone so worried about skinny Santa?” I grumbled, twisting lights on a branch. “It’s just a volunteer in a suit.”
“Maybe so, but he’s off-brand and it’s something to gossip about. Small towns, you know? And Oak Ridge is basically a village offshoot of Christmas Town. Like it or not, everyone ends up being the subject of the local tea at some point or other.”
I figured as much.
“Hmm. And what’s the newest gossip?” I didn’t necessarily care, but I liked the sound of Tanner’s husky voice, and I liked doing something with him that wasn’t oriented around barn animals.
“Donna and Chip from Donner’s Diner—their son, Mick, brought his new girlfriend home over Thanksgiving.
They’ve been dating for a few months. Nice girl.
Everyone thinks so…except his ex. Mick and Lauren got into a tiff in Moody’s bookshop, and it wasn’t pretty.
One of them threw a stuffed teddy bear, and apparently, Moody lost his ever-lovin’ mind.
Ask Hudson about it. It takes a lot to ruffle Moody’s feathers, and I guess it was quite a show. ”
“Ouch. I bet.”
Tanner chuckled. “I know. That’s all I got. Truth is, I’m always the last to know anything newsworthy. I’m more of an expert on animal gossip.”
“Animal gossip?”
“Oh, yeah. For example—one of the pigs, Big Sheldon, sneaks Corker’s portion of slop when he’s not looking.
Corker never notices.” He paused, his eyes twinkling and settling on my mouth for a beat.
What the fuck were we even talking about?
“And there’s Nelly, too. She’s a human sponge.
Goats are social animals, but I’ve never seen anything like her.
She sneaks her way into houses and offices like a cat burglar. But she has favorites.”
“I think I’m one of them.”
“Take a number, buddy,” he huffed. “That goat loves me.”
Yep, this was one of the silliest conversations I’d had with a grown-ass adult in a while, but I played along.
“Maybe, but I’m growin’ on her,” I singsonged.
Tanner grunted in faux irritation, looping another strand of lights around a branch. “You probably have better gossip than me. Kids know everything.”
“I know that Sydney, Phee’s pre-K bestie, has asked for a puppy for Christmas. Guess who wants a dog now?”
“Ooh. What else does Phee want for Christmas?”
I frowned. “She hasn’t said much. That’s a little odd ’cause she’s usually got a list a mile long. I think…”
“What?” he prodded.
“I think every day feels like Christmas for her lately.”
Tanner smiled. “She likes it here.”
“She loves it. A nice house, a playground with horses and pigs, and a couple of new best friends…”
“Friends are important.”
Such a simple throwaway line.
“Hmm.”
We worked quietly, putting the finishing touches on the tree.
“Do you remember what you wanted for Christmas when you were five?” he asked after a minute.
“Probably boots or a new cowboy hat.”
“So you really were always a cowboy at heart.”
“I ’spose so.”
Tanner grinned. “Same. At five, I’d have been happy with a new football and a bunch of Matchbox cars too. Remember those?”
“Uh, yeah. I had a good-sized collection,” I admitted.
“Jax and I had the racetrack too, but we spent more time digging our own roads and making tunnels for those mini cars by the creek ’cause it was—”
“Good dirt,” we said in unison.
We laughed, though it wasn’t all that funny. My laugh used to sound rusty—too deep and scratchy. Not lately, though.
“So we’re back to good dirt, huh?” Tanner waggled his brows in an attempt at lascivious suggestion that came off as boyish and…well, adorable.
I tugged at the brim of his hat. “All right. If we’re going to gossip, I got something.”
“Oh, do tell.”
“I think your ex is worried we’ve got something going on.”
Tanner’s mouth formed a perfect O. “Rich? That’s—why would you think he’d give us a second thought?”
“He gave me the third degree at Thanksgiving.”
“That was over a week ago. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
Good question. My brow creased as I stooped to gather the empty boxes and stash them in the plastic bin marked Outside Holiday Lights. “I dunno. I couldn’t decide if it mattered or not. I get the impression he still has feelings for you.”
He sighed in exasperation, casting a weary glance at the landscape where twilight had shrouded the early evening sky in streaks of light blue and indigo.
The surrounding bungalows and their yards were lit with thousands of lights.
Some white, some multi-colored. Some had blow-up figures or more sophisticated decorations featuring life-sized reindeer, a sled, and woodland creatures dressed in winter finery.
The holidays had hit the ranch seemingly overnight.
It made sense that I’d be the last tenant to join the party and even more sense that I’d ruin the upbeat mood by bringing up my temporary lover’s ex.
Way to fucking go, Axel.
I picked up two empty bins and Tanner grabbed the other. We took them to the storage shed, stacked them neatly, and opened the side door into the kitchen.
Tanner pulled a glass from the open shelf and filled it with water, then finally broke the silence. “We dated for two and a half years, and broke up last year. Rich wanted a bigger commitment. Not a marriage proposal, but a hint that it was where we were heading.”
I held my hands up like dual stop signs. “I’m sorry I brought it up. You don’t have to—”
“I wasn’t ready to get married,” he continued, ignoring me.
“Not even close. I was busy with the ranch. We were growing too fast, and I had to stay focused. I didn’t want the distraction of a husband and unfortunately, I told Rich so…
probably in those exact words. It didn’t go over well.
We went our separate ways, but he works for the ranch and he’s an important part of our team, so… it’s been awkward.”
“And everyone knows.”
“And some are confused ’cause they thought we were a great couple,” he added.
“Everyone but you?”
Tanner pursed his lips. “Yeah. It wasn’t hard to walk away. I think if you really love someone, that kind of thing oughtta hurt.”
“Hmm.”
“I was extremely aware that our breakup was a hot topic, which sucked. It took months for the story to fade, and just as it finally did, Rich called me out of the blue. We had dinner and…”
“Don’t stop now,” I urged with a humorless half laugh.
“He asked if I might be interested in a sex-only relationship.”
I widened my eyes. “No shit?”
“Mmhmm, that was roughly when I met you.” He drained his glass, wiped his mouth with his hand, and set it on the counter. “And all I could think about was the new vet.”
“Me.”
“You.” Tanner snorted. “So there you have it. If he seems curious about you or us, he probably is. I don’t know what to say. I like Rich. I wouldn’t hurt him for the world. He’s a great guy, and I wish him all the best things in life. I just don’t want to be his person.”
I stepped into his space, crowding him against the counter. “I shouldn’t have poked at you for that story, but I’m glad you told me. You have a funny habit of making me like you a little more every time you open your mouth, cowboy.”
Tanner plucked my hat off my head, set next to his empty glass, and dragged his finger through my hair. “I feel the same way about you.”
Our kiss was sweet and unhurried. A tender fusion of lips and tongues with gentle nips, the brush of noses, and the rasp of stubble.
I could have stayed like this for hours, drinking him in, reveling in his easy company and the underlying pull of desire.
It was a heady combination that might have led us to the bedroom, but—
“Daddy, Daddy!” The kitchen door banged open, and Phoebe tore into the room. “Did you see the lights on our house? And the big Santa and the snowman too!”
I winked at Tanner and squeezed his hip, then swooped Phee into my arms. “You saw Santa?”
“I did! I love it so much.” She hugged me tight and grinned at Tanner. “Did you see too?”
“Sure did,” he replied. “Let’s go look together.”
She wiggled out of my hold, grabbed my hand, and held her other hand out to Tanner. “Did you kiss my daddy?”
Tanner froze at the door, meeting my gaze briefly. “I…”
I ruffled Phee’s hair. “I kissed Tanner.”
“Did he kiss you back?”
“He did.”
Phee grinned. “Good. C’mon!”
Tanner snickered at my bug-eyed expression. “How long do you think we have before that rumor gets out?”
“Less than twenty-four hours.”
He laughed, seemingly unbothered by the notion as he listened to my enthusiastic five-year-old point out all the wonders that had magically shown up in the front yard. I watched them together. Tanner’s hair flopped into his eyes and his top right incisor caught his bottom lip with a winning smile.
He was handsome and kind. And I probably should have been a little worried about the butterflies in my stomach, but I steadfastly stayed in the here and now under the flicker of a thousand lights on a cool December evening.
I let Tanner’s deep timbre and Phoebe’s high-pitched squeals of joy wash over me, carving a new sweet holiday memory.
Years from now, I knew I’d remember this night.