Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THEO
I leave my office to go quickly clean myself up before going with Estee to greet King Asher and Queen Isla. It doesn’t take long before I’m back and we’re headed through the castle. All the while, I can’t help thinking what a fool I was for attempting to keep my mate at a distance.
Estee’s kiss is a source of energy unlike anything I’ve ever known. The connection to her vibrates through me even now, offering a sense of calm that I’ve been longing for, and now that I have her, truly feel like I have her, I’m never letting her go again.
I’d thought I was protecting her by staying away, but I was only giving Orix exactly what he seems to want: me broken. I just don’t know why. It’s not often I’ve questioned his motives, considering he’s told me time and time again that I’m his entertainment. I took that to mean the god was just bored and I was the unlucky wolf that caught his attention.
Yet, with Estee here now, I’m beginning to have these moments of clarity where nothing seems to be adding up anymore. Orix wants to control me, but he also needed me to find my mate. A bond more powerful than any other in all the worlds.
Was that a calculated risk on his part in order for me to produce an heir? One he felt he could take since he can so easily mess with my head or am I missing something else?
I’ve spent the last few days holed up in my office, doing menial tasks for the kingdom while I’ve tried to think of any way out of this mess, but until Estee kissed me, the fight in me was gone once again. I thought I had what it took to overcome the darkness I’ve lived with on my own, but being alone made me realize that I can’t do this on my own. I can’t keep everyone at a distance any longer.
My wolf rumbles in agreement as his essence paces within me, more alive than he’s been since losing our pack. We both needed this—especially before facing King Asher. I feel like a fraud compared to him. He was meant for his role, groomed to rule his pack. I was coerced.
Sure, I ran the small pack with no issues, but an entire kingdom has seemed farfetched since the moment Orix somehow convinced me it was for the good of the people.
King Airik might’ve been stealing from and abusing his people, but in the ways that matter, I haven’t done any better. I’ve neglected them for far too long. At least that’s finally changed. Since Estee’s arrival, and with Jerome’s help, I’ve met with dozens of pack members, made changes to food distributions, assigned care to elder shifters, and started to fix the small things that had been left to rot.
While my soul ached for Estee’s company during our time apart, and I originally started trying harder in order to prove I was worthy of being her mate, I can’t deny the satisfaction of seeing positive changes within Selaris. I should’ve been striving for this since I first took the crown.
Instead of feeling ashamed for my choices, I could’ve been making the best out of them. I didn’t have to hide away, knowing what I’d done. I should’ve tried to be better from the start, but it’s never too late. I’ve at least realized that.
Walking beside Estee now, in the quiet corridors, there’s a warmth in the silence between us. It isn’t the sharp tension that previously hung in the air, ready to snap at any moment. It’s softer, but even still, I’m not sure where we stand.
She kissed me, but she also asked for my patience. I won’t push her no matter how desperate I become to know more about her or how my hands twitch with the need to reach for her.
We approach the sitting room, and the echo of our footsteps is joined by the sound of our guests—Isla’s laugh and Asher’s deep murmur. I’ve yet to face the king of Polaris, but his strength is well-known, causing me to tense in preparation for the storm I assume is coming for me.
The moment we enter, any trace of Estee’s regal bearing vanishes. She practically flies across the room to Isla, her sister’s crown tumbling to the couch as they embrace, holding onto each other as if the world outside these walls doesn’t exist. The bond they share is profound, like two halves of a whole being reunited. There’s a pang in my chest—not jealousy, but something like longing.
I turn my attention to King Asher, who’s watching me. He doesn’t move as I extend my hand, his expression sharp and unyielding. For a moment, I think he’s going to ignore the gesture, but then he accepts, his grip firm and full of unspoken challenges.
“King Theo,” he says, his voice a blade, cutting through the space between us.
“King Asher,” I reply, inclining my head respectfully. “Welcome to Selaris.”
His sapphire eyes sweep around the room as if he can see more than just the decor and furniture, as if he’s trying to assess everything I’ve done or failed to do. “Your people seemed happy when we arrived.”
I can’t tell if he means they were glad to see him or if he’s noticed the small improvements I’ve made. Either way, I don’t rise to the bait. “It’s been an eventful week. Announcing Princess Estee as my mate and future queen has brought hope, and we’ve made strides in addressing some of the kingdom’s more pressing needs.” I glance at Estee, her smile lighting up the room as she seems to be having a silent conversation with her sister. “She’s going to be good for Selaris.”
“But are you?”
His words land like a blow, and I turn sharply to face him once more. There’s no venom in his voice, just a bluntness that tells me we’re getting straight to the heart of things. I expected this, but hearing the question still stirs something raw inside me.
“I wasn’t,” I admit, knowing there’s no point lying to him. “But I can be. I will.” It feels like a confession, one I’m not sure how he’ll take, but I continue anyway. “I’ve made mistakes, and I’ll probably make more. But I’m going to do whatever it takes to make things right. No matter what the future brings.”
He watches me for a moment, his gaze unreadable. Then he glances briefly at the two women before turning back to me. “Listen, Theo. I’m not here to tell you how to run things. I’m not even here to challenge your role, but Estee is my family. She’s everything to Isla, and when my queen worries, so do I. While I don’t like the things I’ve heard of late, I’m here to help first and foremost, unless you give me a reason not to. You’ve remained secluded here, and if Estee’s going to stay, that needs to change. For both our sakes.”
A weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying begins to lift from my shoulders, and the sudden urge to tell him everything nearly overwhelms me, but for now, I settle for, “Fair enough.”
“Be careful, Theodore.” Orix’s voice pierces my mind, cold and invasive. “I might’ve given you your bond, but that was for my benefit, not yours. If you step out of line, I will take it all back, just as I took your pack.”
The rage boils up so quickly, so violently, that I feel like I’m choking on it. “You…”
His dark laughter echoes through me. “You pathetic excuse for an alpha. Did you think you were spared for your own sake? No. I needed you—broken, without hope. Now, as you’ve already admitted, you are mine to command. You’re going to be the king I’ve created you to be, and Estee is going to give us an heir. There’s no getting out of this. The two of you are mine now and I will get what I want. One way or another, even if that means impregnating your mate myself.”
I’m spiraling, lost in the darkness Orix has trapped me in, when I suddenly hear Estee’s voice, fierce and unyielding. “Theo!” She shakes me hard, gripping my arms. “Wake up.”
Her words pierce the fog, and I blink, the world coming back into focus, but I’m still paralyzed. Estee’s face is inches from mine, her eyes blazing with concern and something else—something deeper, fiercer.
“I’m not above punching you, Theo,” she warns, her voice shaking. “Fight whatever this is before I do it myself.”
“I… I’m sorry,” I finally murmur, my throat dry and voice hoarse. “It was Orix. He threatened to…” My gaze hardens and locks onto Estee. “I won’t live like this anymore. We deserve better, and we will have better.”
Orix has pushed me too far. Giving me Estee, taking her away, saying he’s going to take my future child and if I don’t cooperate, he’ll take care of that himself as well? No more. I won’t let him take anything else from me. Not when Estee gives me every reason to fight, to overcome the mess Orix has made of my mind and my heart.
I don’t know how, but as my mate smiles up at me, believing in my strength, I know I have to find a way to move forward once and for all. Continuing to allow the darkness to suck me back in, taking all that I am with it, isn’t an option any longer.
“Who is Orix, and what the hell did he just do to you?” Asher demands, looking between Estee and me.
I’m surprised Isla didn’t already fill him in, but maybe Estee hasn’t revealed everything I’ve done. I’m not sure if that’s because she’s ashamed of me or something else, but I’m done hiding.
“He’s a god who sent a group of wolves to kill my pack,” I admit to Asher. “That night broke me in more ways than one, leaving me susceptible to his lies. Something he took advantage of, but no more.” I look up at my mate again and hope she can see the depth of my determination. “He won’t take anything else from me.”
Isla moves to take her place next to Asher and looks up at him. “We need to contact her.”
“Absolutely not,” he snarls. “Owing her one favor is enough. We won’t owe her two when we don’t know how she intends to collect.”
“She won’t let us through to any of the other gods and you know it,” Isla presses. “They need us. We have no choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” he grumbles but then looks at me. “Is Orix blocking you from reaching the other gods like Aurora is for me?”
I’d thought that maybe I couldn’t reach them because of how I became king, but maybe it’s been Orix this whole time. “Possibly. I’ve yet to be able to complete the ceremony.”
Asher mutters something under his breath then nods toward the door. “Maybe we should take this conversation elsewhere. It seems we have a lot more to discuss than my mate saw fit to tell me.”
Isla glares at him. “My sister only just told me how dire things are. Believe me, I’ve been screaming inside her head every second since she walked into this room.”
Asher’s lips thin, but I, for one, can’t help being glad that Estee’s kept what I’ve shared between us until she had no choice.
Still, Asher is right that we need privacy, so I grab my mate’s hand without thinking, and when she doesn’t pull away, I lead us out of the room and toward the stairs to go back up to my office.
She looks over at me, and for the first time since her arrival, I see pride in her eyes.
“You’re going to regret this, Theodore.”
No, I don’t think I am.
Orix’s presence is gone before I get the words across, but that doesn’t make them any less true. I won’t cower from his threats ever again. I can’t.