Chapter Fifty-Seven
My heart leapt with hope. It sounded too good to be true. “What do you mean?”
The goddess pointed at my left shoulder, and the imprint there began to warm slightly.
“You bear my mark, with all the leaf symbolizes. Fertility, hope, growth, life, abundance, peace. And, most importantly to you, rebirth.”
My pulse quickened. “How?”
“There’s still one trial of the elements left.”
“I don’t understand. You’re saying I can be alive again? I thought I had to die to save Ilion and Locris.”
Another indulgent smile from the goddess. “The prophecy did decree it to be so, yes. And my nephew is the god of prophecy, and his words must be fulfilled. But it didn’t say anything about changing the order of events or about you returning after you had died.”
There was a popping sound and then Luna appeared.
Lia!
She flapped her wings and landed on the goddess’s shoulder.
“Luna? How did you get here? And how is it she can talk to me now?”
“Your aether dragon had to grow large enough that she could speak and access her other abilities. Sleeping expedites her growth. Which was important because aether dragons can portal to other places. Including moving between realms. Like this one and the one you just came from.”
“Luna can take me back?”
Of course.
“It was you who brought Luna to me, wasn’t it?” I asked.
“While I’m not allowed to directly intervene, we are permitted to test mortals from time to time while in disguise. And those found worthy can be given assistance.”
What if I hadn’t stopped to help that elderly woman? I wouldn’t be able to return to Xander now. The goddess had set all this up. Every intricate step that led from one thing to the next and ended here.
“But it is up to you to direct Luna,” she said.
“How do I do that?”
Dea put her hand over her chest. “Use the bond. Even now, do you feel it connecting you to Alexandros?”
“Yes.”
“It’s eternal. No matter what happens, the two of you are bound. Soulmates. One soul split into two bodies. You will always find each other. Follow that connection back to him, if that is what you choose. But also know that you could choose to stay here.”
I knew what I would be going back to. War. Death. Pain. Destruction.
But all that paled in comparison to Xander.
“You have been worried,” the goddess said. “About what you must do in your role as savior. In taking lives.”
I nodded.
“All life is precious to me. Even those people who seem beyond redemption. But I have given my daughters the power of life and made them guardians of it. To create it, and to destroy it, if that is their choice. If that is what’s needed.”
Luna flitted over to me and I held her in my arms.
Are you ready to leave?
“Wait.” I was going back to Xander. We could have a life together, but the goddess had told me that I had to fulfill my promise to her. “Can Io run the temple in Locris?”
Maybe she would be so happy that I was back she would be willing to do it.
The goddess walked over to me. She reached out with her hands and her fingers lightly brushed my forehead. Her touch filled me with such power, such love, that it was almost more than I could bear.
“Io will take over the temple in Ilion. She does not wish to marry a man, nor does she desire children of her own. Every living thing is her child. But she cannot go to Locris for you.”
Could the goddess see my future as well? I didn’t know if I was allowed to ask.
“You will have all the children you desire. Your husband promised that it would be so. Io will fulfill her calling in her own way, as will you. You both have very different paths in front of you.”
Should I ask her about the others? About Xander’s future? How was I supposed to get the eye back? What could I do to stop Artemisia and save Ilion?
She removed her hand. “It’s not good for any mortal to know too much of what is to come. What I have shared will suffice.”
“Thank you.” It seemed an inadequate thing to say for all that she had done for me, all the love she had given me.
For all the ways that she had helped me.
“Remember who you are, Euthalia of Locris. You are my daughter.”
I hugged Luna to my chest and closed my eyes. I thought of Xander.
Then I was flying backward in that same black void with the glittering stars, the wind rushing all around me. We stayed in that place for much longer than last time, presumably because it was a much farther trip.
But the darkness started to close in on me. It felt like I was suffocating.
Until I realized the reason why. My husband was crushing me to his chest and I couldn’t breathe.
“Xander?” I mumbled against his neck.
He had been rocking me and went completely still. “Lia?”
“You’re holding me too tightly.”
“How are you alive? How did this happen?” I heard the awe and the remnants of fear in his rough voice. He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care how it happened. I only care that you’re here. I’m never letting go of you again. I love you.”
“I love you, and I still need to breathe.”
His arms finally relaxed and I rolled back so that I could look him in the face. He had tearstains down his cheeks. My heart melted at the sight—that he had wept for me. I reached up to trace those tearstains, evidence of how much I meant to him. There was so much love in his eyes, so much joy.
And I knew that he would see the same in mine.
My adelphia gathered around us, all asking questions. Telling me how happy they were to see me.
Ahyana said, “When you said you’d see us again, I didn’t know you meant a few minutes later!”
“Neither did I,” I said, and she laughed.
Xander kept touching me, as if to reassure himself that I was really there. This went on for a little while. We both ignored everyone else talking and focused on each other.
“What did I tell you about dying?” he asked.
“Not to.”
“You never listen. You are not allowed to die again. Do you understand?”
“I swear that I won’t.”
“My sweet oath-breaker,” he said with so much tenderness that my heart ached. We both knew I couldn’t promise him that. “Does this mean the prophecy has been fulfilled?”
“The part where I endure trials and die? Yes, that’s over.” The rest of it still needed to happen. I had to save Ilion.
Then he announced, “You need to rest. I’m taking you to our room.”
I tried to get up, but he wouldn’t let me. He stood with me in his arms.
“You can’t carry me all the way back to our room.”
“Don’t impugn my manhood, wife.”
“Put me down for a moment,” I said. “Let me say goodbye to my sisters before we go upstairs.”
He did so reluctantly, and I was surprised to find that my limbs worked well. I felt worn out, but good. I went over to hug my adelphia.
“I’m so glad you’re alive,” Io said.
“Me too.”
Zalira handed me back the goddess’s sword. “This belongs to you.”
“Thank you.” I took it and put it into my sheath.
I looked over my shoulder and saw that Xander was being congratulated by Thrax and Stephanos, so I took the opportunity to lean in and say, “I saw the goddess. I spoke to her. I will tell you more about it later, but Lysimache made up the celibacy vow. We are allowed to love.”
“Here’s a restorative potion,” Io said with a small smile, slipping a vial into my hand. “I think you’ll need it.”
I drank it and gave back the empty vial.
“And we should probably sleep in a different wing of the palace tonight,” Ahyana teased.
Zalira grinned at me. “Or down here in the cavern.”
“Or you could go find the people you love and tell them what I just told you,” I said.
I saw their eyes light up with possibilities as Xander came back over and swept me up into his arms.
“Are you really going to carry me the entire way back?” I asked.
“Yes. Now hush. You’re ruining my concentration.”
He maneuvered his way through the tunnels easily, carrying me as if I weighed nothing. I reached up to stroke his face. “You were crying.”
“You died.”
“I don’t recommend it,” I said, making him smile. “I saw the goddess. She said you were begging for me to come back. And that you do, in fact, know how to use the word ‘please.’ All it took was me being dead.”
He laughed and it sounded weaker than it usually did, as if his emotions were still too raw. “What else did the goddess say?”
“She said she created you specifically for me.”
“Did she? I’m older than you, so it stands to reason that she created you for me.”
I shook my head. “She also said we were fated. Two halves of a whole, longing to be reunited. That we would always find each other.”
“She was right. Our souls are tethered.”
“And she mentioned that you told her I could have as many children as I wanted.”
He laughed again, and he sounded more like himself this time. “How did you come back? Did the goddess just send you?”
“No, it was Luna. Part of being an aether dragon is that she can move between realms and create portals that she uses to travel. I held her in my arms, thought of you, and she brought me back. Now aren’t you glad you didn’t throw her out a window?”
“That depends on whether she’s going to get more of her sparkles on my floor.”
“It’s aether,” I told him.
“It’s still messy.”
I laid my head on his shoulder. “Do you know who tried to flood the lower levels?”
“Erisa.” His arms tightened around me.
“How do you know?”
“She killed the guards outside of her room. Poison.”
That didn’t surprise me. Pathetic.
He went on. “She also poisoned Kyros. He’s dead.”
“What?” That was horrible. What mother would kill her own child?
“I don’t think she expects to survive, so I would guess that she killed her son to spare him from suffering.”
“Where is she now?”
His arms tightened again. “I don’t know. She has disappeared. I have my men looking for her. But she knew about the flooding mechanism, and I think she would rather see Troas destroyed if she can’t rule it.”
I had only thought her power hungry. I had never imagined that she was this evil. “She was desperate and didn’t see a way to win, so she wanted to make sure that everyone else lost.”
“And she very nearly succeeded. She almost took you from me.”
Now I was the one wrapping my arms around his neck tighter. “You really can put me down. I can walk.”
“What did I tell you about my stamina?”
That it was extensive. My stomach fluttered at the idea that I might soon get to test it.
And while my first seduction attempt had been successful in the past, my second had not, and it felt like everything had changed. Now that we had admitted our love, it was different and I was a bit out of my element.
We stayed silent as he continued his ascent up the stairs.
My heart began to beat louder with every step that we took. He didn’t know what the goddess had told me, and I was trying to think of the best way to share the good news with him.
When we reached our room, he took me inside and then finally put me down. He locked our bedroom door. “You should take a bath,” he said.
The idea of voluntarily getting into another body of water . . . a shiver passed through me. “I don’t want to go into the water alone. Will you come and help me?”
He looked slightly confused but nodded. “Yes.”
We walked hand in hand into the washroom. He stood in front of me and undid my belt, letting it fall. He then took my tunic, lifting it clear of my body.
And then he averted his gaze.
Which was both sweet and silly. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. I was about to say as much, but then I saw the muscle flicker in his jaw, the tension in his arms. He was trying to restrain himself.
Not sure of what to do, I took off my sword sheath and undergarments and then slid into the pool, sitting on the ledge and letting out a deep sigh.
“Were you hoping I would scrub your back?” he asked.
I leaned forward and looked at him over my shoulder. “It only seems fair since I did it for you.”
He sat on the edge of the pool, his legs in the water behind me. The sponge made contact with my back and he rubbed it in slow circles. I sighed again, feeling relaxed.
He finished and moved his hand away. Then I heard him filling a pitcher with water, which he poured over my head. He worked soap into my hair, his fingers reflexively moving across my scalp, and it was the most luxurious thing I had ever felt. He was so tender, so gentle, so loving.
Then he rinsed me off and I felt him stand up.
“What are you doing?” I asked. “I wanted all of you in the water with me.”
He did exactly as I asked, joining me while fully clothed.
I let out a little laugh. “You have your tunic on.”
Xander agreed with me. “I do.”
“Why?”
“Safer.” The one word was his only explanation.
This was not what I’d had in mind. I moved over to put my arms around his neck. Wanting his fingers on my skin.
But he didn’t touch me.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
“The Great War was fought for the love of a woman, something I never understood until you. I would let every person in this city die if it meant you were safe and with me.”
He wouldn’t because he was far too honorable and too good of a king, but it meant so much to me that he would say it.
His gaze flickered off to the side. “A part of me feels that I don’t deserve your love. I failed you.”
“You didn’t fail me. I made a choice. And no one deserves love,” I said before kissing his cheek gently.
“We’re all flawed, broken creatures. We love in spite of what we deserve.
And I see you, just as you see me. I know and love every part of you, Alexandros of Ilion.
The good and the bad. The dark and the light.
And I will love every side of you, every facet, every piece, no matter what. ”
The knot in his throat bobbed, and he said, “We should get out. I’ll be right back.”
He quickly stood and got out of the pool, dripping water all over the tile. He went into our bedroom.
A few minutes later he was back, in dry clothing, and I was very disappointed. He held out a linen for me to use to dry off with. I stood up and walked toward him. He kept his gaze on my face.
Then he wrapped the linen around me and used a different one to dry off my hair.
When he was done, he led me out to our room and had me get into bed. He kissed me on the forehead and said, “I’ll be right outside.”
He was nearly to the door when I finally registered what he had said. “You’re leaving me?”
“I’m not going far.”
“No. I want you to stay.”
“Lia—”
“Xander, I want you to stay and make me your wife in more than just name.”