Chapter 12
As they all ate breakfast together the next morning, Sive couldn’t shake off her worries from last night.
‘Is everything okay, Sive?’ Mimi frowned concernedly at her.
‘Well, no,’ she said with a shaky laugh. ‘I’m pregnant, remember?’
‘I know that’s scary, but I thought you were happy about it?’
‘I was. I am.’ She heaved a sigh. ‘I would be, except now I’m freaking out about money. I mean, how am I going to provide for a child? Babies are expensive. They need nappies and buggies and no end of paraphernalia. And that’s even before school uniforms and dance classes and braces and all sorts.’
‘Well, that’s all a little while in the future,’ Aoife said. ‘You don’t have to worry about school uniforms just yet.’
‘And it’s not going to come out needing braces,’ Mimi said. ‘It won’t even have teeth!’
‘No, but as far as I can make out, newborn babies are the most expensive of all – even worse than schoolkids.’
‘Maybe you should skip the baby stage, then, and just have a schoolkid.’ Mimi’s lips twitched. ‘It might be a difficult delivery, though.’
‘It’s not funny!’
‘Well, it has plenty of clothes already,’ Mimi said.
‘I know, and that’s great. But clothes are the least of it. Babies need car seats – and a car – and a steady income.’
‘There are plenty of babies who don’t have a car,’ Aoife said. ‘Or a salary, for that matter.’
‘I know lots of people with pedestrian babies,’ Mimi said. ‘Not that their babies are dull,’ she added hastily. ‘Just that they don’t have motorised transport.’
‘They’re not even pedestrian for ages,’ Aoife said. ‘They can’t even walk, let alone drive.’
Mimi nodded. ‘Exactly. It won’t need shoes for a year or two at least.’ She wrinkled her forehead. ‘Three? I don’t know when babies turn into toddlers.’
‘We can look it up,’ Aoife said.
‘But the point is, it won’t need much when it’s born and you’ll have plenty of time to save up for all that other stuff. It can get a car when it’s old enough to drive. Make me godmother and I’ll buy it one for its sixteenth birthday.’
‘How will you get the money for a car?’
Mimi shrugged airily. ‘I’ll be rich and famous by then. We all will be. And if I’m not, I’ll make Rocco buy it one. Oh, even better, make Rocco godfather. He’s stupid rich.’
‘And he does have Italian heritage, so he’s perfect for the role,’ Sive mused.
‘Well, I don’t think he’d be that kind of godfather,’ Aoife said. ‘I can’t see him pushing your child into a life of crime.’
‘Isn’t he already godfather to one of his sister’s kids, though?’ Sive asked.
Mimi nodded. ‘Cousins too and a couple of friends. He’s got oodles of godchildren.
He’s always been a popular choice, even before he was rich and famous, to be fair.
So he’s got lots of experience and he’s very good at it.
And there are no limits – you can have as many godchildren as you’re offered – or as many as you can afford.
Rocco could easily take on another one.’
‘And everyone needs at least one fairy godparent,’ Aoife said.
‘You could always put the baby to work too – make it pay its own way. Sign it up with an agency for commercials and stuff.’
Sive gave them a weak smile. She knew they were just trying to cheer her up, but making light of her concerns only made her worry more. It was completely unrealistic. ‘Seriously, though, what have I got to offer a baby?’
‘Well, there’s us for starters,’ Mimi said, waving a hand between herself and Aoife. ‘Two awesome aunts.’
‘Not to mention an amazing mum,’ Aoife said.
‘And a career on the stage, should its heart desire,’ Mimi said.
‘And why wouldn’t it? It’ll be in their blood.’
‘Well, it’ll also have Ben’s DNA, don’t forget,’ Sive said. ‘Maybe it’ll turn out to be a mountain climber.’
They were all silent for a moment, mulling this over.
‘Nah,’ Mimi said then. ‘Our acting genes go back generations. What’s one mountain climber in the mix against a whole acting dynasty? Your genes will win out.’
‘Well, speaking of acting genes, I’ve been thinking I should get a proper job.’ Sive lobbed the hand grenade in and sat back, waiting for the barrage of protest she knew would come. Her sisters didn’t disappoint.
‘No!’ Mimi exclaimed, horrified. ‘You can’t do that.’
Aoife was shaking her head. ‘No. Absolutely not.’
‘But there’s no way I can afford a baby on an actress’s salary. And what about during my pregnancy? I’ll probably be off Vital Signs now.’ There had been talk of expanding her role as a junior doctor in the next season of the popular hospital drama, but she could just as easily be written out.
‘They can’t fire you for being pregnant!’ Aoife protested. ‘That’s against the law.’
‘Come on, we all know that’s not true. Unfortunately, we have one of the few jobs where it’s perfectly legitimate to drop you because you’re pregnant.’
‘But they write in pregnancies for characters all the time,’ Mimi said. ‘They can have you standing behind furniture, cuddling up to cushions and holding random objects in front of you.’
‘And give you lots of close-ups,’ Aoife added.
‘Or your character could just get fat or develop a sudden penchant for baggy jumpers and wearing coats indoors. There are loads of ways they can get around it.’
‘If I was a big star or one of the main characters, maybe. But they’re not likely to bother for a secondary character that they can easily recast or just write out.’
‘Well, maybe you’ll have had the baby by the time they start filming season two.’
‘And your first trimester, you’ll be doing the show at Halfpenny Lane.’
‘We could change our next show,’ Mimi said, drumming her fingers on the table. ‘What plays have a pregnant woman in them?’
‘Oh, you could play Hermione in A Winter’s Tale,’ Aoife said.
‘Or Stella in Streetcar.’ Mimi’s eyes widened excitedly. ‘Bags I be Blanche if we do that.’
‘You should talk to Lorna too and get her to put you forward for more voice work. And there’s also audiobook narration. I know several actors who have their own recording set-up at home.’
‘That’s a good idea.’ Sive would need to inform her agent of her condition as soon as possible.
‘Anyway, poor people have babies all the time,’ Mimi said. ‘Look at Mrs Cratchit.’
‘Well, that’s hardly an encouraging example. I don’t want to be like Mrs Cratchit, scrimping and saving all the time and only having a tiny goose for Christmas.’
‘A goose! You should be so lucky,’ Mimi said. ‘Have you any idea how much goose costs these days? Things have changed since Scrooge’s day.’
‘It’ll be even worse then. We’ll just be having a tin of beans for Christmas. And what if my child ends up like Tiny Tim?’
‘No one ends up like Tiny Tim anymore,’ Mimi said dismissively. ‘Like I said, times have changed.’
‘Children still get sick. What if it needs an operation that I can’t afford?’
‘It can go to a public hospital like the rest of us. This is starting to sound like a very demanding baby you’re planning to have.’
‘But what if it had some rare disease and there was a breakthrough treatment in America that would cure it if I just had enough money to pay for it?’
‘You could do a crowdfunder?’ Mimi suggested. ‘Anyway, calm down. You’re thinking too far ahead and freaking out about imaginary scenarios that’ll probably never happen.’
‘You can’t know that.’
‘No. Just like I can’t know that you won’t meet a billionaire tomorrow who wants to marry you and raise your child as his own.
’ She sighed and shot Sive a sympathetic look.
‘Look, I know we’re being flip about it.
But seriously, don’t worry about money, and please don’t even think about giving up acting.
Lots of actresses have children and they manage just fine. ’
Sive drew breath to argue.
‘And I don’t just mean Hollywood A-listers,’ Mimi added before Sive could say anything.