Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Luka felt himself being led, and he watched the apartment going by as they moved slowly to the bedroom.
It was like the crescendo of a piece during a play, the band starting slow, the volume as low as a whisper, and then as it went the tempo sped up, the volume increased until everyone’s heartbeat felt a jump.
His heart was doing a hundred and fifty miles an hour; his senses were all tuned on overdrive, knowing that he was committing to something real.
When he’d joined the drama department in high school because of the prodding from his English teacher, Luka found he was amazing at acting.
It wasn’t like it was hard, after all. Poor people acted all the time.
Each time they were worried over their bills but added a sun-is-shining/life-is-good post on social media, it was acting.
Placing on a smile in the middle of the crisis that never ended, that was acting.
So, he excelled at it and won a scholarship to a school that most people would kill get into, and he was there, roaming the halls, learning everything he could stuff into his mind just so he could use it all to make money.
That had been so important to him he forgot the only other thing in life he was lacking.
Love.
Oh, family love, he’d had that when his mother was home. But that guy to look at and feel his body shaking from need…
So quickly, Benson had become that for him. The man was cute as hell, always smiling, always flowing with compliments that didn’t feel a bit contrived. Yeah, Benson was the one who had made him see that money wasn’t everything.
He was in Benson’s bedroom. The bed was huge, a brown and rusty-orange duvet with pillows of every shape and size. His taste, or his choice of decorators, was perfect. It was like him, clean lines, simple and yet beautiful.
“Are you sure? Luka, I would die if I moved too fast and hurt you in any way.”
“Don’t die on me, right when I found you.”
He was kissed softly, as if Benson was unsure. That soft, sweet kiss told Luka so much about the guy.
He was an optimist. Luka knew he needed that in his life, but he was also stable.
Luka knew just by speaking to him a handful of times that Benson wasn’t flighty, wouldn’t suddenly remember he didn’t want a boyfriend.
He wouldn’t drop him after sex, wouldn’t lose his number after their first argument.
Luka had been so focused on his career that finding love didn’t seem important. Well, maybe it wasn’t until he met Benson and felt that tug in his heart.
“Don’t hurt me, Benson.”
“I won’t hurt you, and I don’t think you’re going to hurt me either.”
Luke felt tears welling in his eyes, and one escaped. Benson kissed it before it could roll down his cheeks, and then he shared that salty tear with Luka, silently assuring him that any pain they gave each other would never be purposeful.
Luke melted into their kiss, feeling his shield falling away. That shield, which had gotten him through the last few years, protecting him from the pain of feeling like he just wasn’t good enough. With Benson, he felt good enough. He felt like he was finally enough.
Benson laid him on the bed, slowly moving his hand from his chest, over his neck and finally cupping his cheek gently. “I’ve seen no one so beautiful as you are.”
“You make me beautiful.”
“No, honey, I don’t. You make yourself that way; I’m just holding up the mirror to make sure you know it.”
Luka knew he’d met Benson at the perfect time in his life, and as his clothes slowly shed from his body, he knew without a doubt he wanted to give himself to Benson in a physical way, but so much more than that. He wanted to give his heart to the man too.
Benson was bare-chested and gorgeous. He never acted as if he were as handsome as he truly was, but that was also part of his charm.
His smile alone was bright enough to rival Broadway, but his body, so lean and toned, and his gorgeous eyes, his eyes that looked right into Luka’s.
That told him Benson wasn’t hiding a thing.
He wasn’t pretending or lying to get something.
He was naked on the bed, staring up at Benson with a vision that blurred from the tears that still welled there.
They didn’t come from sadness, but so much emotion couldn’t be contained.
Those tears were falling because he was overwhelmed by his own happiness.
That was so rare for him, he barely knew how to handle it, but that was the rub. He didn’t have to handle it alone.
Benson held him, kissing his lips and jaw as Luka let the emotion release, and he realized it was more than happiness.
For the first time in years, he was letting go of the pain, the fears, the struggle he felt at every obstacle.
Benson was letting him release it all, and he took it, holding it for him.
“Luka, you are so special to me. You’re so good, and beautiful. It’s okay, baby. Just let it all out, and then we’ll move into the future together and strong.”
Luka nodded against his chest. “I don’t know why it’s all coming right now.”
“I do. You’re making yourself vulnerable, which you’re not used to. You don’t have to worry, Luka. I’m not someone you have to worry about, ever.”
He knew that. In his heart, he knew those words to be true.
When Benson was finally inside him, Luka let out a long moan, more of his emotion releasing.
He was staring into Benson’s sweet face, and those gentle eyes held him.
He didn’t feel pain, no matter the abundant size of the guy, or the fact he hadn’t been entered by anyone in a while.
Benson just refused to hurt him, even like that.
Benson was no small man, that was for sure.
He filled Luka, moving slowly into him as his lips took Luka’s in a soft but determined kiss.
He felt Benson’s care for him, and he knew Benson wanted to care for him in all ways.
Never again would Luka feel like he didn’t have enough of something.
Benson would assure him he had everything he needed or wanted, including those strong, good arms. “You feel so good inside me.”
Benson nodded and kissed him deeper. “Yeah. Yeah, feels so good, Luka. You are so perfect. So beautiful.”
Luka felt more tears, but he willed them away as he shut his eyes, feeling the man over him, how Benson’s body curved to his own and how his hands touched him with loving caresses instead of raunchy groping.
It’s not that he had a problem with being raunchy, but not with Benson, not for the first time.
He was holding Benson tightly, kissing him with all his passion, and for the first time in years, he wasn’t worried about anything.
Not the rent, not the next play, not his secret files of screenplays he had on his laptop.
Nothing mattered a bit except that moment, that man, that feeling he was letting overtake him.
Benson sped his thrusts, moving his teeth over Luka’s neck, biting him enough for Luka to feel it, but not become too painful.
Sexy, hot, groaning so low, it sounded like a growl.
Benson could go from the happy-go-lucky computer king to a lowly animal only after his more primal needs.
As his eyes flashed at Luka, Luka saw it, that cat stalking its prey and tearing it open with its teeth…
“God, you’re so hot right now.”
“Yeah. I am, hot for your sweet ass,” Benson said then bit a little harder onto his neck, sucking it, grabbing a handful of hair right before he kissed Luka senseless, and slowed his thrusts, as he returned to being a man, a human man, who was falling in love.
That teeter-totter he kept Luka on all that night was exciting. Luka was kept on the edge, never knowing which Benson he was getting. After they made love three times, barely taking a break in between, Benson lay on the bed, spread-eagle, trying to catch his breath.
“You did it.”
“Yeah, but you made me.”
“How’d I do that?”
“Looking so gorgeous,” Benson said, pulling him down for a kiss.
“I won’t walk right for weeks,” Luka said, groaning. “But it was worth it.”
“Sorry. I guess we got carried away, but…I can’t help it. I could make love to you for months and not stop for a rest. Or at least after I rest,” he said, laughing.
Luka lay with him after getting them both water, and he whispered, “Rest a lot. A lot.”
“Are you hungry? Need anything?”
Luka smiled at the question. “I am hungry, but…I might be too tired to eat.”
“I could feed you.”
Luka giggled, and Benson joined him. “No, I think I can feed myself. How about we eat after we rest a while?”
“You’re on.”
They slept for hours until Luka heard Benson answering the very persistent call. His phone had rung several times, but Benson had willed it to shut up and stuffed a pillow over his head until he could no longer ignore it.
“Joyce, it’s my day off, and if you say I don’t get one because I’m the owner of the company, I’m going to scream.”
Only hearing one side of the conversation, Luka didn’t envy Benson a bit. He was practically whining by the end of the call, and Luka had the feeling Joyce never took no for an answer.
“Fucking hell. I have to go into the office.”
Luka didn’t want to feel hurt, but it came anyway. “It’s okay. I can catch a cab home.”
“I don’t fucking think so. You will either be driven by a car I’ll call for you, or you can come to the office with me, which I’d prefer. But I’d understand if it was too boring for you. My work isn’t exactly fun.”
“Being with you is fun, but it sounds like you’re going to be busy. How about we meet up after? The car can take you first, and then drive me home. Deal?”
Benson smiled so sweetly, it tugged hard at Luka’s heart. “Okay, that is definitely a deal.”
“Good. I suppose we need to dress.”
“We need to shower first, I think,” Benson said, sniffing the air in the room. “Yeah. Shower.”
They showered together, and Luka tried to hurry them along, unwilling to have Benson get into trouble, then he was told, like it was the first time he’d heard it, “I own the company. They can’t start without me.”
“Right. I forget because, well, you aren’t like a big boss like that.”
“Thanks. I try not to be one of those pricks.”
Luka kissed him again as the three huge showerheads poured water over them. It felt like they were in the middle of a jungle, under a waterfall, where no one could reach them.
Unfortunately, they weren’t. The phone began ringing again, and Benson growled. “I swear she’s relentless.”
“She’s looking out for your best interest. I mean, she seems to be.”
“She is, but sometimes, I wish she’d take a break from it. I didn’t want work to be my entire life. I don’t want it for my employees either.”
Luka turned off the shower and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the thick rug. “Work today, rest tomorrow. Or the next day, but if she’s being this insistent, she must have a reason.”
Benson held him after he’d gotten the towel around his waist. “You’re very sweet. She doesn’t deserve my constant bitching about her, but she could lay off a bit.”
“Talk to her.”
“I’ve tried. Anyway, I guess we’d better get dressed. The sooner we’ve gotten out of here, the sooner we can see one another again.”
“Yes. I like the way you think.”