Chapter 6 #2
“That’s not true,” I said defensively, strolling along beside him. The sun was almost down, and I lost myself, staring into the bright spectacle of the sunset. Rays of light broke through the edges of some of the clouds and covered everything they touched in gold and orange.
“Hungry, weren’t you? Next time, we’ll go out for lunch.
” Matt pointed to the all-but-finished hot dog in my hand.
I’d devoured most of it in a couple of bites because, in the end, we’d given up on the eggs and scraped our plates into the trash.
I nodded and balled up the dirty napkin in my hands, waiting until I found a trash can to toss it in.
“I wanted to be a writer when I was a kid. Did you know that?” he asked, apropos of nothing, as we trod slowly down the wooden boardwalk that ran the length of the enormous beach.
“Really?” I tugged my coat tighter around myself and arranged the edges of my scarf underneath my collar, all without taking my attention from him. Despite the low temperatures, the day had been sunny and nice.
“Yes. I even submitted to a few poetry competitions. Won some of them too,” he admitted, a nostalgic smile spreading across his face as his eyes turned back to the sea.
“So what made you study medicine then?” I asked.
“Your grandfather,” he said immediately.
“He was a doctor, as was his father before him. So he wanted me, his eldest son, to continue the family tradition. I kept writing in secret for a while because I knew he’d never allow me to keep pursuing my dream.
But when I found myself at a crossroads with regard to my future, I put my passion aside and threw myself fully into my studies.
” He stuck his hands into his jacket pockets and pulled off his sunglasses to better enjoy the colors of sunset that would so soon give way to stars.
“What about Uncle Robert? Why didn’t he have to go to med school?”
My uncle had walked a different path. He’d become a lawyer, and he lived in Chicago now. He was unmarried with no children, and he didn’t have a great relationship with Matt.
“He was the lucky one—my father gave him a choice. For me, he already had a whole life planned out,” he answered, his voice full of bitterness for a man who was long gone and, perhaps, not as kind as I’d believed him to be.
The ringing of Matt’s phone interrupted our conversation. Matt excused himself and answered, “Hey, honey,” he said.
It was surely Mia calling; she was the only woman he’d greet like that. I kept quiet and soaked in the peaceful atmosphere all around us. Hardly any people. Hardly any cars. Some places were already closed up. It was perfect.
“Oh, I see. So, it’ll just be the three of you? Why isn’t he coming?”
I turned to Matt to see what he was talking about, and he shot a brief look at me before sighing deeply. “Well, try to talk him into it. Do you want me to talk to him? I don’t get his attitude on this.” He frowned and scratched his eyebrow with his thumb. They were probably talking about Neil.
He didn’t want to join us? Why not?
Was he so disgusted with me now that he had to avoid me at all costs?
I couldn’t hide my disappointment. After we had shared so much, were we now just going to ignore each other?
On top of that, I still felt enormously uncomfortable when I thought about what I’d done with him.
I didn’t regret it, not at all, but it was still difficult, dealing with the emptiness caused by his absence.
But even though Neil seemingly had no further interest in me, something held me back from fully believing that.
He couldn’t have been lying the last time we were together. I didn’t want to believe he could be that cruel. He’d made love to me; he had given me something of himself, and I had experienced it all firsthand. It hadn’t just been some figment of my imagination.
That was the thread of hope I was clinging to with both hands, lest I fall and shatter into a million pieces.
“Okay, we’ll be waiting for you.” Matt ended the call just as we hit the street that would lead us back to the beach house.
“Mia’s coming tomorrow with Logan and Chloe. Neil has apparently decided not to come with them,” he informed me, sounding disappointed.
“Oh, why not?” I pretended to be simply disappointed, concealing the anger that was building up in me at the idea that Neil was refusing even to see me.
Damn him!
I’d left New York because of him. He’d hurt and angered me too deeply with his lack of respect for me. Then there was the car crash, and he only came to see me one time. Just once. Like he didn’t have the time to bother with me and didn’t give a crap about my condition.
“I don’t know. I’ll never understand that boy. Neil’s an odd one,” he said.
We climbed the porch steps, and Matt opened the front door for us. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how Matt had described Neil, and curiosity got the better of me.
Even when I hated him, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Something was obviously wrong with me because this behavior was patently deranged.
“Why do you say he’s odd?” I asked, shrugging out of my coat and arranging it on the coatrack.
“Because he’s a very complicated guy. He had a rough childhood, which, unfortunately, has had serious repercussions on the way he lives.” Matt headed for the kitchen, turning briefly to look at me. “Do you want me to make you a hot drink?”
I smiled at his thoughtfulness. I was, in fact, freezing, and I wouldn’t have minded warming up with a nice tea or tisane.
“Yes, thank you.” I sat down on a stool at the kitchen island and balanced my chin on my hands, watching as my father reached for the small kettle and filled it with water.
I quickly dove back into our conversation, though.
Maybe Matt could give me some more information about Mr. Disaster that I could add to the few things I’d managed to pry out of the housekeeper, Anna.
“So…” I said, picking up where we left off.
“I haven’t talked with Neil much; I don’t know him very well,” I lied.
In reality, I had managed to learn about some parts of his nature while others eluded me and no one seemed to be able to give me any damned answers about him.
Neil had his own form of communication: He spoke with his body and used sex to create any kind of connection with women.
He was unlike any other man I’d ever met and that made it difficult to get inside his head.
Matt turned to look at me, his eyes narrowing into a thoughtful expression that was almost intimidating.
Did I say something weird?
“Selene,” he said in the same chiding tone he used whenever something was bugging him.
“I’m a man, and I know the kind of guys that women are attracted to.
” He moved closer to me and rested his hands authoritatively on the kitchen island that now separated us.
“And Neil definitely has the looks to reel them in with ease.” I wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but I couldn’t think of a reasonable response either.
So Matt, encouraged by my silence, kept talking.
“He’s a very handsome young man; he’s not only smart but also very shrewd…”
It seemed like this was all preamble to some sort of warning, but, again, I remained silent.
“I’d be happy to see you get closer to him.
After all, you’ve already lived together, and it doesn’t seem like he’s made any trouble for you, but there are certain lines you should never cross with him.
” He hit the word “lines” hard to draw my attention to it.
“He’s not like his brother, Logan, especially when it comes to women,” he concluded severely, and that last statement confirmed what I’d already assumed: My father knew more about Neil than I’d realized, but he was also reluctant to share that information with me.
Damn it!
I tried not to look upset. If Matt had any suspicions that I’d fallen under Neil’s spell, he could have easily intuited that something happened between us.
“Could you…” The question slipped out of me too quickly, making Matt perk up. “Could you be a little clearer?” I bit my lower lip to disguise my sudden awkwardness.
I needed to pretend that I didn’t know what he was talking about if I wanted to nip his suspicions in the bud.
My father seemed to consider it for a moment before sucking in a breath and answering. “When he’s interested in a woman, he’ll do anything to have her. Not that it’s hard for him to get his targets. Just look at the kid.” He rubbed a hand over his face, now looking seriously concerned.
I knew exactly what he was talking about. A woman only had to glance at Neil and she’d be feeling the sudden desire to hit her knees before him and offer up everything.
I was embarrassed by the turn my thoughts had taken.
“The problem is, I don’t want you to be taken in by someone like him.
I love Neil, but you are my daughter, and I would never, ever want him to think of you as anything other than a member of the family.
Besides, he’s older than you, and his lifestyle is very different from yours.
Is that clear enough?” It wasn’t a question but a warning.
I wasn’t paying attention, though my brain was too busy going over what Matt could have meant by a “different lifestyle.” Was Neil drinking heavily or taking drugs? I recalled asking him about that once, and he assured me he wasn’t addicted to anything.
“Is he on drugs? Or something like that?” I insisted. At the same time, my father had just filled our mugs with hot tea, and they nearly slipped out of his hands at my unexpected question. He turned back to me and handed me a cup. I immediately wrapped my hands around it to warm up.
“No, Selene. Nothing like that. He’s never used drugs as far as I know.”
Well, at least there were some small virtues among the sea of flaws that, in just a short time, I’d already identified.