Chapter 6 #3
“He has much bigger problems, problems that go beyond a hangover or a habit. Fortunately, Neil’s been smart enough not to fall into that sort of thing, but I still want you to be careful with him. Don’t make me tell you again,” he warned, sipping his tea as he leaned against the marble counter.
I didn’t ask him any more questions and instead just let the subject drop. I had already figured out the kind of guy Neil was, and my father’s warnings only fortified the iron shield I’d need to face him someday. Especially now after everything that had happened between us.
Halloween.
Me. Jennifer. Him.
I was fixated on that perverse scene. I just couldn’t accept it.
All at once, anger rushed over me, and I hoped I’d never encounter him again.
If tomorrow came and he hadn’t changed his mind, I probably wouldn’t ever see him again.
There wouldn’t have been any further opportunities for us to come into contact with each other because I would be living in Detroit with my mother, and Neil would be in New York with my father.
Technically, we might have been required to see each other if our parents got married, but there were no plans for that. Thus, he and I were nothing; we led two separate lives, far away from each other.
Knowing that only made me more miserable, though, because deep down I really wished things were different. In my dreams, there was still the possibility of a second chance out there for us.
After we finished our tea, Matt and I decided to rewatch a movie I’d practically grown up with: Notting Hill. We’d actually found the DVD by chance in Grandma Lizzie’s old things, and it was my father who suggested we put it on because he knew that Julia Roberts had always been my favorite actress.
“You’ve been a romantic since you were a little girl,” he teased me, stretching out on the sofa.
“Or maybe I was just drawn in by Hugh Grant’s charm?
” I made myself comfortable on the other sofa, curling up under a plaid blanket.
My father had said that the heating system was fine, but, earlier that day, we’d discovered that it actually was barely hanging on.
We’d have to bundle up with woolen blankets and heavy pajamas.
“Julia Roberts is also quite charming. People say she has the most beautiful smile in the world, but I think that’s crap,” he grumbled with a silly look on his face. I regarded him, tilting my head slightly to one side, and gave a thoughtful frown.
“Why is it crap?” I asked.
“Because the beauty of a smile is a subjective thing. For me, the most beautiful smile in the world belongs to my daughter,” he answered seriously, and I looked down before shifting my gaze to the movie.
I tried to hide it, but the corners of my mouth curled up, and Matt must have seen because he immediately threw one of the pillows at my face, hitting me square in the nose.
I sat right up and glared at him while he pasted on an innocent look that made him seem more like a mischievous little boy than a man who was turning fifty.
A moment later, we both burst into laughter and then went back to watching the movie, only occasionally commenting on a scene. Matt dozed off about a half hour later, leaving me alone to thrill over elegant Anna and gentlemanly Will.
When the movie was over, I got up from the couch and took a look at Matt.
He was fully dressed, but his shoulders were contracting involuntarily with little cold shivers.
He’d left the blanket for me, so I picked it up and slowly draped it over him, careful not to wake him up.
Matt grumbled something in his sleep, but, thankfully, he didn’t wake up.
I checked my watch: It was eleven-thirty, and, at the stroke of midnight, his birthday would be over. I hadn’t wished him happy birthday, nor had I given him anything beyond the gift of my company.
He’d said that was good enough for him, but, in that moment, I had a wild idea.
I went into what used to be my grandparents’ bedroom and took a small wooden plaque out of one of the drawers. I grinned, knowing that I would find it there along with the wood-burning pen that my grandfather used for his hobby.
I moved to the kitchen and positioned myself at the kitchen island, then I thoroughly scrubbed the surface of the wood with a cloth so I could engrave words for Matt upon it. Maybe it wasn’t a grand gesture, but it was the sincerest gift I’d ever given anyone in my entire life.
So I tried to focus as I imprecisely drew three simple words: “Love, Life, Family,” along with my initials in the right corner of the plaque.
Aesthetically, it wasn’t the best result because I’d never etched wood before.
I’d done my best to mimic the technique I’d seen my grandfather use, but it would have taken a lot more experience before I reached his skill level.
I was sure, however, that my father would understand the symbolism of the gift. So I went over to him and put the little wooden plaque on the coffee table in the living room. He would find it when he woke up.
I was careful not to make any noise and, when Matt groaned something sleepily, I flinched and whirled around to look at him, hoping I hadn’t woken him up.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that he was still sound asleep and leaned in a little closer so I could adjust the blanket around his shoulders.
“Happy birthday,” I whispered into his ear, then I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before fleeing back to my room, embarrassed by my own actions.
***
The next morning, I lingered in bed, curled up under the warm blankets.
I rubbed my closed eyes with the back of one hand and yawned noisily. I was just about to fall back to sleep when strange sounds started filtering in from the living room, and I realized that Mia had arrived.
I felt around on the wooden nightstand for my phone, and I was surprised to see that it was already ten o’clock. My eyes flew open, and I shot out of bed like I was spring-loaded. In fact, I almost went sliding on the smooth floor in my polka-dotted wool socks.
I scratched my neck sleepily, realizing that I was going to have to open the door and walk down the entire hallway in my current disastrous condition if I wanted to use the toilet.
I crept up to the bathroom door, passing my fingers through my long, tangled hair, and swung it open without knocking. I was presented with Logan standing in front of the toilet, really focused on…
“Jesus Christ!” I shouted, immediately clapping one hand over my eyes while the other stayed tight on the doorknob. “Sorry! I didn’t see anything!” I shut the door immediately and exhaled the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
I considered what to do next: I could go back to my room and stay there for the rest of the day, or I could go meet up with the others in the living room, or I could wait for Logan to be done and go in there to get ready like I’d planned.
The flush of the toilet made me lean toward the last option. Surely he was done now.
“Selene!” Logan grinned euphorically at me and gave me a big hug as he emerged from the bathroom.
I was immobile, my brain still half-asleep and not very responsive but, when I finally registered that it was actually Logan who was hugging me, I returned the affectionate gesture.
I could smell his familiar spicy scent. “I hope the Loch Ness Monster didn’t freak you out; I really had to go. ”
Oh god. Was he seriously was talking about his…
“Logan!” I said loudly, finally managing a sincere smile. I absolutely wasn’t going to keep talking about that joke, so, instead, I looked him over. He looked great with no crutches in sight. He towered over me; his long legs were straight and strong. His face was beaming and bruise-free.
“How… How are you?” he managed in a halting voice. “God, I really wanted to come see you in Detroit, but I only got off crutches a few days ago, and…” I shook my head and rested a hand on his arm.
He didn’t have to apologize to me; we’d both been through a rough time recently. Logan had been far more present for me than his brother had been.
“It’s all good, Logan. You’ve been spamming me with texts, remember?” I teased, and he reddened, rubbing the back of his neck. It was cute—a big guy like him blushing. I could see why Alyssa was so gone for him. She was always telling me about their relationship and how special Logan was.
Cute or not, though, he was still blocking the bathroom doorway, so I glanced significantly between him and the door. I, too, had some pressing needs to attend to. Logan seemed to get my drift, shaking his head as he stepped aside to let me through.
“You do your thing; we have all day to talk. I’ll just be in the other room.” He began to leave but, after a few steps, returned and squeezed me again. “It’s good to see you again,” he said softly, giving me a sweet smile.
Still, I walked into the bathroom with a terrible, anxious feeling. After seeing Logan, I had begun to worry that Neil might actually be there as well.
Yes, Mia had called and told my dad yesterday that he probably wasn’t coming, but what if he changed his mind? Neil was nothing if not unpredictable. A small part of me was convinced that he was going to ambush me.
I stared into my reflection in the mirror, resting my hands on either side of the sink just to have something to hold on to. I had no idea how I was going to react to seeing him. I might even pass out and look like an idiot.
I gripped the cold surface of the sink tighter, trying to soothe the burning sensation that was spreading across my chest. If Neil really were out there, was I seriously afraid to deal with him?
I snapped myself out of it. I was angsting over a little phone call?
What about him, then? Didn’t I have plenty to say about his behavior as well?
Neil was the one who should have been worried because, of the two of us, his actions had been far more serious.