Chapter 17
SAWYER
TWO WEEKS LATER
“W e better hurry up and cook ‘em, we ain’t got long left before those rain clouds open.” I look up at the thick, heavy clouds lingering in the night sky as I finish pouring gasoline on the three bodies we just put in the ground. Three sick fuckers who the world won’t miss, and prison would be too kind, too.
“So, how pregnant was Maddison when you guys found out?” I question Jace once I place the can back on the bed of his truck.
“Four, maybe five weeks.” He strikes the match and tosses it into the pit so we can watch ‘em burn.
“And Maddison took a test as soon as she realized she was late?”
“Well, I had to convince her first, she had this stupid notion in her head that I couldn’t knock her up first time,” he sniggers at me. “But turns out she was wro–why are we having this conversation?” He looks at me as if I’m being weird.
“Just interested, that's all.” I shrug, reaching for my smokes like I usually would and realizing that they ain’t there. Jace offers me one of his when he notices I’m short, but I shake my head in refusal.
“Don’t freakin’ tell me Beth’s late! Her dad really will make you marry her.”
“Relax, Beth’s not late, and if she were it would have jack shit to do with me. I haven’t been near the girl in months.” I shake my head and kick some loose dirt into the hole just so I have something to do with myself.
“Then why all the questions?” He laughs.
“Is it a crime for your best friend to be excited that you're gonna be a dad?” I raise my shoulders.
“Just seems weird, you getting excited over something that would be your worst nightmare,” he points out.
“I can think of worse things that could happen.” I can’t help smiling when I think about the fact that Riley could be carrying my baby inside her right now. We’ve been fuckin’ for three weeks straight and I ain’t no mathematician but her period’s sure to be due any day now.
“Name me one?” Jace challenges me.
“Hey, weren’t you the person telling me that every man should try fallin’ in love, a few months ago?” I come back at him defensively.
“Yeah, and I stand by it. I ain’t ever been happier. Have you really been thinking ‘bout what I said?” He looks almost proud of me.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I shove him hard in the shoulder and laugh it off. There's no way I’m gonna tell Jace that I tricked the FBI agent, who he’s convinced is here to bring us down, into getting pregnant with my kid. Not until I have to, anyway.
My phone vibrates, and when I pull it out and see a message from Riley, I like that it means she’s thinking about me. Tonight will be the first night I haven’t seen her since we made our pact, and it’s gonna be weird. She’s stayed at my place for the past two weeks, which has been a challenge to hide from all the prying eyes surrounding us, still, we’ve managed to pull it off, even the Clearwater Coven hasn’t caught us out. I’m gonna miss not having her in my bed tonight.
How's the bachelor party going?
I look down at the blood and dirt on my clothes before I text back my answer.
Uneventful. Missing me?
“That Uncle Jamie?” Jace asks as I slide my phone back into my pocket.
“Nah, just some chick I’ve been talkin’ to.” I scratch the side of my neck, feeling like shit for lying to my best friend, and for lying to her, but I got no other option.
“The same chick who's got ya asking me all these questions?” He laughs.
“No.” I shake my head and stare into the flames, watching the flesh burn off these pedophiles' bones and wondering if she’ll still be awake when we get back to Clearwater Creek.
* * *
It’s late, and the bar’s all locked up when Jace drops me off. I let myself in through the back door and head upstairs so I can shower. I smell of smoke, gasoline, and death, and although I have no regrets about putting those fuckers in the ground, I can still feel their sins clinging to me. Maybe once I’m done, I can call Riley and see if she wants me to go over.
“Hey.” I jump in shock when the light flicks on and I see Riley in my kitchen wearing one of my shirts. She looks so pleased to see me until she really does see me, and that pretty smile, which I’ve been seeing more and more of, quickly fades.
“Riley.” I look down at my clothes and panic. “ I need you to listen to me.” Stepping closer, I reach out my hand, and when she sees the blood on it, she backs up against the refrigerator and makes it clatter.
“You weren’t at a bachelor party tonight, were you?” She looks disgusted as her eyes glance over me.
“No, I wasn’t.” I have no choice but, honestly, she can see for herself where I was.
“Who did you hurt?” Her bottom lip is wobbling like she’s gonna cry, and I hate that I’m gonna be the cause of it.
“Does that really matter? I can’t take it back, and I wouldn’t want to.” I lift off my shirt and make my way to the sink so I can wash the blood off my hands.
“No, I guess it doesn’t. What really matters is that you lied to me.” I don’t turn around, just focus on scrubbing my hands clean. I don’t want to see the disappointment on her face or the tears that I’ve put in her eyes.
“Yeah, well, I’m sure you can understand that sometimes it’s hard to tell the truth.” I turn off the faucet and shake my hands off, before reaching for a towel and turning around to face her. “I'm not the only one with secrets, am I?” I raise my eyebrows before moving past her to get a clean shirt.
“That’s not fair. This is a different situation altogether. I’m putting all my trust in you, and you–”
“No, you’re fuckin’ not!” Her words instantly trigger me. “You're not putting any trust in me at all. You won’t tell me why you feel the need to do this whole baby thing by yourself, you won't tell me why you refuse to be loved, and you still haven’t told me why you turned up here so scared, two weeks ago.” I let her have all the thoughts that have been swirling around in my head.
“That’s because none of that is any of your business. I explained to you at the start of this how things were gonna be, and you agreed–”
“Yeah, well, this…” I look down at the filthy T-shirt I'm holding before I launch it on the floor, “...is none of your business. Unless, of course, you plan to arrest me.” I head for the bathroom because I’m mad and I don’t want her to see me like this. I’ve already said things I regret.
“Sawyer.” She catches up and places herself between me and the door. “I’ve spent every night for the past three weeks with you, there's a good chance I could be pregnant with your kid!” she yells at me.
“Not my kid, your kid,” I point my finger at her. “You made that real fuckin’ clear too. What does it matter that I lied to you, Riley? You're not my girl, and you’re not gonna let me ever be a father to your kid.” I wait for her to answer, hoping that she’s gonna tell me I’m wrong, and for a few seconds, I feel a little hope. I’ve never pushed her like this before, I’ve been too scared of losing her, but now that she’s decided to lay judgment on me, she can offer some answers herself.
“I came here the other night because I felt as if you were someone I could depend on,” she admits, holding back tears and trying to be strong. “I came here tonight because the answer to your question was yes. I missed you. I wanted to be here when you got home. I wanted to sleep in your bed with you beside me.” She laughs at herself as if she feels like a fool, and it tears my fuckin’ heart out.
“I’m just gonna leave.” She storms over to my bed and pulls on her jeans.
“Riley, I’m sorry. Let's talk.” I move closer to her.
“I don’t wanna talk.” Reaching around me, she grabs her purse, and I take hold of her arm to try and stop her.
“Get your fucking hands off me, Sawyer!” She refuses to look me in the eyes and stares at my tensed-up fingers instead. Steadily, I release her and feel her slip away. “Stay the fuck away from me.” She lifts her bag onto her shoulder and slams the door on the way out.
I follow it up by grabbing the bowl that’s still on the table from breakfast and launching it at the wall. She was here because she missed me. I’ve been waiting to hear something like that from her for weeks and I fucked up. I could have explained where I was and who I hurt tonight, but fear stopped me. The same kind of fear that's stopping Riley from telling me who she really is.
I scrub my hands over my face before throwing my fist at the rafters. Then, grabbing my cell, I quickly send Riley a text.
Please come back, we need to talk. I’m sorry.
I stare at my phone waiting for a response, but I get nothing. I guess she’s already in her car driving home. if that's the case, I don’t want her to be looking at her phone, but I do need to speak to her so I can fix this.
Pulling on a clean shirt, I grab my keys, race downstairs, and head out the back door. The heavens have opened, and the rain’s coming down real hard. I’m about to dash toward my truck, and I see her, sitting in the driver's seat of her car, crying like she’s in pain.
I run toward her and tap on the glass, but she keeps looking forward, quickly drying her eyes as if she’s ashamed for me to see them.
“Stop trying to shut me out, Riley,” I shout at her through the glass as the sky rumbles above us and the rain soaks through my clothes. “Come back inside and speak to me.” She shakes her head as she stares at the wheel, and I swipe the rain off the glass when it gets harder for me to see her.
“I lied about where I was tonight because I was scared,” I yell over the sound of the rain so she can hear me. “I was scared you’d think bad of me. Please come back inside, let me tell you where I was.” I try to open her door, but she’s locked it. “Riley, I didn’t mean to make you upset…I just?—”
“I need you to give me some space.” She turns her head to face me. “ Stay away from me, please.” She starts her engine and pulls away, leaving me soaked on the sidewalk and full of fuckin’ regret.