Chapter 27
SAWYER
TWO WEEKS LATER
“H ow’s she doin’?” I look across Jace’s yard to the porch where Maddison is sitting with her friend, holding her new baby son.
“She’s doin’ amazin’. Look at her, she's a natural.” He stares at his wife proudly for a few moments before returning to work on fixing the fence.
“So what brings ya here?” He wraps more wire around the fence post and pulls it taut.
“I know you and Riley spoke the night of the wedding, and I wanna know what you spoke about.” I give it to him straight. I don’t wanna push things with Riley, not while we’re in a good place. And although we ain’t even close to where I wanna be, I gotta be grateful that she’s not ignoring me, and that she agreed for me to be with her for the birth.
“I thought you would have asked her that yourself.” He sniggers as if he’s on to me, but I don’t bite. “Don’t play dumb, I heard all about you storming out of the wedding, and I’ve seen the way you look at her. It’s sure different from the way you’ve looked at all the others.”
“There’s nothing going on,” I tell him firmly. “I just need to know that everything between you and her is okay.”
“Everythin’s just fine. We talked some things over and now we’re… singin’ from the same hymn sheet, as Jean would say.”
I can tell he’s keeping something from me, which disturbs me because Jace usually tells me everything.
“Who’s the girl?” I nod my head in the direction of Maddison’s friend. She was a bridesmaid at the wedding a few weeks ago, and I’ve heard the bunkhouse boys talkin’ about her at the bar.
“Her name’s Kendra, and I guess she’s caught the Clearwater Creek bug because she’s decided to stick around. Ya interested?” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“Nah, she’s pretty, but I’m giving myself a break.” There’s only one girl I want, and although I’ve given up on trying to understand her, I’m gonna make her my sole focus for the foreseeable.
“You’re giving yourself a break?” Jace bursts out laughing. “I guess it’s just as well. Kendra’s already got those clowns battling it out over her.” He gestures with his eyes toward Kyle and Tyler.
“Brothers going for the same girl? That’s a car crash, right there,” I point out, passing Jace the mallet he needs. “Good luck with it, boss.” I slap Jace on the back before heading over to the porch to say goodbye to Maddison.
“He’s getting big.” I cross my arms on the wooden railings and peek over at the baby in her arms.
“He is. Gonna be big and strong, just like his daddy.” Maddison lifts him up and places him on her shoulder. “How are you doin’, Sawyer?” she asks as if she’s expecting some kinda confession outta me.
“Me? I’m just fine. Was just stopping by to check in on ya all and see ya had everything ya needed.”
“How kind, isn’t that what Riley stopped by to do yesterday?” Maddison’s friend pipes up, and I don’t miss the glance the two girls give each other.
“What can I say? Folks in this town care about each other. I guess it must be rubbin’ off on her. You all good now? Ya know, after the...” I turn my attention back to my best friend's wife.
“Fine, thanks for asking.” She smiles as she pats little JJ’s back.
“While you were…ya know, did you think about what kind of pain relief you might have wanted?”
“Not really.” She looks back at me strangely.
“I was just thinking that if it were me, I’d want one of those needles in the back, make that pain good and gone.”
“Well, a needle in the back wasn’t an option. Someone was in a rush. Do you want to hold him?” she offers, and for some reason, I panic.
“Nah, he looks comfortable where he is.” I stand up straight, nodding my head at them both before heading back to my truck.
While I drive home, I debate whether or not I should message Riley to ask if she needs anything. I’m trying not to be too overbearing, and although the few encounters I’ve had with her around town since the wedding have been friendly, they haven’t felt like enough. I called her last week to ask if she was okay, and we ended up talking on the phone for over an hour. She complained about her day, and I listened, wishing that I was beside her, stroking her hair or playing with her hands. She’s turned me into a mess of a man.
The most frustrating thing about all this is her silence. Something is holding her back, and I’m starting to wonder if that something isn’t what she fears anymore; it’s knowing that I might be able to fix it that scares her most of all.
I decide to seize the day and ask her over for dinner tonight. She told me on the phone that she’d been craving anchovies, so I figure I can use that to my advantage.
My place tonight? Pizza with extra anchovies?
I send the message and focus back on the road. I’m still a few miles outta town and just as I come over the bridge by the old mill, I see Beth Delaney standing on the side of the road beside her car..
“Car trouble?”I pull up and lean over the seat to speak to her from the passenger side window.
“Ran out of gas.” She looks mad at herself.
“You call someone for a ride?” I check, knowing that I can’t leave her out here stranded.
“Forgot to charge my phone.” She holds up her dead cell and rolls her eyes at her own stupidity.
“You really are in a pickle.” I shake my head at her and laugh. “Come on, jump in. I’ll give ya a ride back to town.”
“You don’t have to do that.” She smiles awkwardly.
“Sure, I do, what do you think your daddy would think of me if I left ya out here in the midday sun, all alone?” I pop the door open for her and rest back in my seat.
“It’s not that hot.” She shrugs her shoulders and tries to be coy.
“Beth, just get in.” I know that I hurt her and she has her pride to think about, but this road is dead, and she ain’t got the privilege of being proud. I wait for her to climb into the passenger seat before driving on toward town.
“So, how ya been?” I ask, feeling a little guilty for the way I handled our situation. Things seem a whole lot different now that I know how rejection feels.
“I’ve been good, keeping busy.” She sits stiffly in the seat and keeps her head held high.
“Look, Beth, I’m sorry if there was a time when I made you believe we could be more than what we were. You're a nice gir–”
“Please, don’t give me the’ nice girl’ speech, Sawyer.” She shakes her head.
“It’s not a speech, it’s true. You got a lot to offer, and you're gonna make the right guy real happy someday. I just wasn’t that guy,” I tell her what I should have done months ago.
“It isn’t all your fault. I know I can be a little overexcitable sometimes.” She looks down at her lap.
“Yeah, well, if I knew then what I know now, I’d have gone about things differently,” I admit.
“Different how?” She looks back up curiously.
“I’d have had the awkward conversations with ya rather than avoidin’ ‘em. Been clearer with ya, let ya know where ya stood.”
“Where’s all this coming from?” Beth laughs, staring at me as if I’m a stranger
“Let’s just say, I’m starting to relate to how you felt. I like someone… a lot,” I confess. Strangely, it feels kinda good to get that off my chest. “She doesn’t want what I want.”
“Breaks your heart, don’t it?” She actually looks as if she feels sorry for me.
“Hurts like hell, that's why I wanted to apologize. I never intended to hurt ya, I just didn’t see things from your point of view. If you can forgive me, I’d like us to be friends.”
“Who’s the girl?” she asks.
“It don’t matter who she is.” I shake my head. I’ve given away far too much for one day.
“It sure as hell does matter. I wanna know who the girl who broke Sawyer Anderson's heart is. She deserves a statue in the town square.” Beth makes me laugh. “Forget it, you don’t have to tell me. I know who it is.” Her voice goes soft. “And if it’s any consolation, I think the woman’s crazy.” I grip the wheel a little tighter when I think about Riley, and how typical of me it is to fall in love with a woman as stubborn as she is.
“Got any tips for getting over it?” I look across at Beth and smile.
“Yeah, know when to quit.” The smile she gives me is a little sad, and we remain silent until I pull up outside the bar.
“Friends?” I hold out my arms for a hug once she’s got out. I’m hoping that, one day, she finds a man who has the patience to give her what she wants.
“Always.” She reaches her arms around me and squeezes tightly.
“Now, don’t go finding yourself short like that again, there ain’t always gonna be a knight in shining armour passing by to save your ass.” I wiggle my finger at her as I head inside, and she takes off up the street laughing. Before I get to the door, I check my phone, and when I see that Riley’s replied, I get nervous.
7 pm?
It’s cool and casual, but it’s something and right now, I’ll take whatever she’s prepared to give me.