Chapter XL
Demi
The morning light barely filtered in through the closed blinds. I stared at Roman while he slept, wrapped in his arms, trying to memorize him. His lush eyelashes, his perfectly sculpted beard framing his chiseled cheeks. The way his lips curved, almost smiling, as he breathed in a steady rhythm.
The last two nights, I hadn’t been able to bear leaving him and Junie. We’d fall asleep in a tangled heap while watching all my old favorite movies late into every night.
I just wanted to hold on to myself while I could. And Roman and Junie were part of that now. A part of me that I’d just discovered—or maybe “remembered” was a better word.
Tomorrow was it for me unless Roman finally recognized me for who I was.
I’d tried everything I could think of short of just telling him the truth.
I wanted to, but I feared that would destroy any chance we had.
So, I just tried to show him how much he meant to me.
I put all of me I could into every kiss and every touch, using them to say the things I couldn’t say.
There had been a few times I’d sworn that he, his human side was close, so close, to breaking through to my heart.
Roman must have said he loved me at least a hundred times, like he thought if he said it enough, it would break the spell I’d cast on my heart. And maybe it hadn’t worked the magic he wanted, but hearing the words was still magical to me.
Roman’s eyes fluttered open, and he pulled me closer, careful not to stir Junie, who was draped across us like a sleepy guardian.
“Good morning,” I whispered.
He brushed his lips against mine but refused to say the morning was good. To him, it only meant we were one day closer to the full moon. One day closer to possibly losing each other forever.
I pressed my mouth to his, willing his soul to recognize mine. The connection was there—stronger than ever—but it still wasn’t enough.
“I want to stay with you here, all day,” he murmured against my lips. “But I have early meetings.”
“I’ll be here when you get back tonight. Junie and I thought it would be fun to camp in the backyard.” I forced my voice to stay light, hiding the emotion that threatened to bleed through. I didn’t want what might be our last day together to be anything but happiness.
“That sounds like a plan.” He, like me, kept his voice steady, but I felt the ache inside him. The panic.
“Great. I’ll find some sleeping bags and a tent.”
“We’ll just need two,” he groaned low in my ear.
“One for me and Junie and one for you?” I teased.
“Try again.” He nuzzled my neck, and every part of me shivered.
“You better go before we wake up Junie.”
“She sleeps like the dead,” he murmured, “and I want to give you something before I go.”
“What’s that?” I whispered.
He gazed into my eyes, and his voice was soft and reverent. “A song.”
My breath caught. I’d been hoping he’d give me another one—one he would sing to me. I had a feeling that he had a beautiful voice.
Roman lovingly ran a finger down my cheek. Then with his soulful baritone voice, he began to sing barely above a whisper, but it sounded loud and clear. And romantic. So, so romantic.
“We started out as enemies, fire in our eyes. Every word between us used to be a battle. But somewhere in the chaos, love found its spark. And you became the goddess of my heart.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks.
Roman gently wiped them away, never breaking the rhythm of his beautiful song.
“The goddess of my heart, the keeper of my soul. You turned the war to wonder, made me whole. If I could stop the clock, I’d never let us part. Forever with the goddess of my heart.”
I wanted that so much. I let his words wrap around me. A shred of hope filled me.
“You and I have the kind of love that gods only know,” he whispered, sealing the last line with a kiss.
I pressed my lips to his, tasting the salt of our mingled tears. Please let me keep him, I silently prayed.
Then a thought came—I wanted to give Roman a gift.
An offering. Roman had given me his song, and I wanted to give him something in return.
I couldn’t write music, but I could write words.
A letter that, maybe by some miracle, would lead him back to me if tomorrow didn’t turn out the way we wished.
Or at least it would leave him with a memory of me—something to fill the void, even just a little.
But for that moment, I soaked in every part of him I could, wanting to remember that I’d once been loved, and loved well.
Later that day, I sat alone on the porch of my cabin, pen and paper in hand, trying to translate my heart into words for Roman. I could almost feel it again—almost—but the walls still stood. Crumbling and fragile, yet stubbornly there.
A thought came to me: I would gift Lady Goldy to Junie, and through her, Lady Goldy would deliver the letter to Roman. My offering. I just prayed Zeus would at least grant me that request if the full moon came and my heart remained locked.
I wondered if I should tell him the truth about who we were to each other. Would it just torment him? Or would it help him to understand why he felt he was on the wrong path? Would it give him a desire to search for me? I decided to risk it.
Dearest Roman,
I wish I had your gift with words, but I will try my best to convey what this summer has meant to me.
What you mean to me. The first time I saw you when I was sixteen, my goddess side whispered to me that you were my soulmate.
It’s true. I wish I could have told you this, but I feared the curses upon us—the one I placed on my heart and the one that unnaturally tore us apart—would never have broken if I told you.
I pray this won’t torment you. I just want you to understand why you felt like you were on the wrong path, that something was missing. I felt like that too until this summer, until I let myself believe what my goddess had always known: that you were where I belonged.
No matter what happens to me, it will always be where I belong.
Thank you for loving me. For doing your best to undo my horrible mistake. Thank you for the laughter and even for the tears. I missed them both. And thank you for the kisses. They have all been my number one.
Please know that I will be out in the world missing you more than words can say. I may not know who you are or even who I am, but that won’t stop me from knowing that the best part of me is missing.
Forever yours,
Demi
I read over my words, feeling like they were inadequate, but they were the best I could do. I kissed the paper and hoped Roman never had to read it. That by tomorrow the remainder of the walls around my heart would shatter.
But if not, that Roman would search for me. And that eventually, our souls would find their homes with each other. That Roman would get the peace and love he deserved.