Chapter XXXIX
Demi
“How was your date with Asher?”
Cassie smirked as soon as I walked in the door. She was bent over the stove, stirring something that smelled like jasmine tangled with sea air.
Yes, I’d been left to date Asher—Jessica’s ex. Honestly, I think they only kept the poor guy on the show because who else was I supposed to date at this point? Everyone had basically paired off with only a few days left:
Braden and Maggie.
Todd and Olivia (although they were still working through their issues).
Carter and Laila.
Jax and Paloma.
Diego and Fiona.
Blaine and Jessica.
Liam and Brinley.
And . . . Cassie and Jonas. Sort of.
I melted onto one of the counter stools and sighed.
“It was fun—if you enjoy fishing while Asher once again recited his comprehensive list of reasons he’s better suited for Jessica than Blaine. And then he got so distracted reeling in his fish that he smacked me in the face with said slimy fish. So, yeah. Total blast.”
Cassie laughed, tossing a few more ingredients into the pot.
“What are you brewing?” I asked.
She cast me a meaningful look. “A truth serum. I thought we could slip some to Roman. Maybe it will help. Maybe jar something in him.”
Her voice carried the same desperation I felt.
I rested my head on the counter.
“Hmm . . . drugging my soulmate. Not sure that’s the best start to a relationship, but . . . you have poisoned him before, and I didn’t exactly stop you.”
“Good times,” Cassie said fondly, stirring her potion.
“Who knew the whole time we were supposed to end up together?”
Cassie pointed her spoon at me. “Uh, you did.”
“Oh yeah.” I groaned. “If only I’d let Roman touch me before I locked my stupid heart. Or if I hadn’t locked my heart at all. Then maybe he would have known too, and we could have skipped all this nonsense.”
The words came out whiny, but the ache behind them was real.
“We are not giving up here,” Cassie barked, sounding exactly like one of my old gymnastics coaches.
“Okay, fine, but I’m not drugging him.” I lifted my head from the counter, rubbing at my temples.
“Um . . . hello? I would never ask you to do that. The pleasure would be all mine.” She grinned, leaning back against the stove, one hip cocked.
I sat up and laughed, shaking my head. “I take it you’re still salty that he asked you in your last interview if you considered yourself a good friend to me.”
She was the best friend a girl could ask for. And she could poison people.
Cassie rolled her eyes dramatically. “Yeah, that. And he asked how it felt to be a rebound. I’m no one’s rebound.”
“You know Jonas doesn’t see you like that.”
She scoffed, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t really care what he thinks. It’s just an act.”
“Really? You guys are amazing actors, then.”
Cassie shrugged, lips quirking. “So, he kisses well. Too well.” She lifted her shoulders like it was no big deal, then dropped them with a sigh. “He’s still annoying.”
“I mean, I thought Roman was annoying too, and now look at us—we’re wrapped up in a battle for our souls. We’re losing badly,” I added, drumming my fingers on the counter. “But still.”
“You haven’t lost yet. And Jonas and I aren’t fated.”
That’s what she thought.
“He’s just a means to an end.”
“Regardless, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve done for me and Roman. I’m sorry our ‘besties’ think you’re a harlot now.”
The gossip had been brutal, and for that I felt awful. My stomach twisted just thinking about it. These women had no idea how close they’d come to being hexed.
Cassie laughed, tossing her head back.
“Are you kidding me? It’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time.
” She marched over to the counter, lowering her voice.
“And honestly, I don’t care what anyone thinks.
As much as I like these women, I only came on this show to make sure you make it back to our world.
Other than that, I don’t really care what happens. ”
Her hand closed over mine, warm and insistent.
“So please—make sure you don’t get kicked out,” she begged.
“I’ll do my best,” I promised. Even though I had no idea what that meant at this point.
I’d humiliated myself, stayed away from Roman, and helped make tons of matches this season.
Seriously, I’d thrown my rules out for him, and I’d even handed Jazzy her happily ever after even though I knew she still wished I had been this season’s villain.
If sainthood were measured in self-sacrifice, I deserved a halo.
“Very good.” Cassie went back to her brew.
For the rest of the night, I wondered what more I could do. I tossed and turned, sheets twisting around me like restraints, until I couldn’t take it anymore.
All I could think was that in a few days’ time, I might not even be me anymore. And yet, being near Roman was the most alive I’d felt in years. And I wanted to feel as much as I could before . . . well . . . before I couldn’t.
Staying away from him was doing neither of us any good. Every day he looked more tired, more worn, and his mother had told me how unhappy he was. So why not be happy for a few days, if that was all we had left? Unless a miracle happened—which I wasn’t counting on.
Maybe Roman needed a reminder of what he was risking. Of what he might lose if he didn’t see me for who I truly was and unlock my heart.
So, I did what any self-respecting goddess of love would do. I threw on a sweatshirt, called Lady Goldy to me, and marched through the dead of night toward Roman’s cabin. There I was, standing in front of his bedroom window. A faint light bled through the curtains, offering a soft glow in the dark.
Was he awake too, tossing and turning like me?
I thought about knocking. But then I thought, Maybe I should try the old pebble-tossing trick. After all, I still owed Roman a rock to the head.
I glanced down at the patch of grass beneath me—no stones in sight.
But Lady Goldy never left me stranded.
As if from the heart of a crystal mountain, a clear stone shimmered into existence, dropping into my palm from above. It glowed gold, warm against my skin, pulsing like it carried its own heartbeat.
It gave me hope—maybe the gods still wanted me to finish this quest. Maybe all of this hadn’t been in vain.
I drew back my arm and tossed the pebble at the window. The instant it touched glass, it burst into a brilliant butterfly of light, wings shimmering gold as it lifted into the night.
I smiled, watching it climb higher and higher, until it vanished into the stars.
Please help, I prayed silently, my chest tight.
Seconds later, Roman’s face peeked through the curtains. Handsome and shadowed. Yet his expression was unreadable.
But that wasn’t going to stop me. Not tonight. This was too important.
I stepped closer, making it clear I wasn’t going anywhere.
He drew back the curtains, and there it was—his bare chest. Oh. My. Chiseled. Perfection. And that dark layer of hair? Perfect for nestling into. That was so happening, I’d decided.
Roman opened the window with a gruff sigh.
“Please don’t be upset that I’m here.”
“I’m not upset with you. I’m mad at myself—because I want you to be here.”
“Good, because I’m not leaving.” I moved right up to the window, daring him. “Move over.”
His eyes widened, caught somewhere between fear and disbelief. Or maybe just shocked at my audacity.
“Demi,” he groaned, his tone heavy with reason and caution.
“This is getting ridiculous. I might have only a few days left to be me. And I’m going to spend them doing what I want. And I want to be with you.”
“Damn it.” His voice was rough, torn. But he didn’t hesitate to reach out and offer me his hand.
I grabbed it before he could change his mind—or before I had to tackle him to get inside.
He hoisted me up, his strong hands wrapping around my ribcage, pulling me through the window until I was standing in front of him.
My palms landed on his bare chest without hesitation.
He held his breath, every muscle tensing beneath my touch. Heat radiated from his skin, the faint rise and fall of his chest betraying the storm inside him.
“Roman,” I whispered, my fingers pressing deeper into the warmth of him.
I caught sight of his rumpled bedsheets and the papers strewn everywhere as if he’d been researching. The smell of strong coffee lingered in the air.
“This is wrong,” he said halfheartedly, his jaw tightening as though the words were costing him.
“You don’t believe that because it’s not true.”
He closed his eyes, and his hands slid over mine, pressing them firmly against his chest.
“Demi,” he breathed out, voice rough, trembling. “I love you.”
Tears blurred my vision. I knew he did—I could feel it—but hearing the words meant so much more.
My throat constricted, my body shook as if the weight of his words settled over me.
Almost like a spell. For just a moment I thought maybe those beautiful words would unlock my heart, but still there was a barrier there. Something that wouldn’t budge.
“If I could choose to love anyone, I would love you.” My voice cracked, my fingers curling against his skin. It was the best I could offer him for now. My heart physically would not allow me to say the words back, but I could almost feel them. Almost.
He didn’t seem to mind. His head lowered, and his lips brushed mine, so gently I barely felt it. My breath hitched, my body leaning instinctively closer.
“I don’t want to be the reason you can’t love. Please tell me who you once loved. Maybe—”
I silenced him with a kiss, pressing my lips to his before I let the truth spill out.
“Roman,” I murmured against his mouth, aching to be devoured by him but forcing myself to speak.
My hand slid up to the curve of his neck, thumb brushing his beard.
“That man—I didn’t know him as well as I thought.
I shouldn’t have locked my heart because of him. ”
Roman flinched, his grip tightening on my waist.
“I knew he was the reason you locked your heart. Was it Jonas? That bastard.”
“No,” I laughed softly, shaking my head, my forehead brushing his.
“It wasn’t him. And it doesn’t matter who it is.
Because I’ve watched you, gotten to know you, and you’re the kind of man I want to love.
” My fingers traced the line of his collarbone.
“You’re a good man. The best kind of man.
The kind who thinks of others before himself. ”
His breath became fractured, chest rising sharply beneath my touch.
“How can you say that when all I want to do right now is take you to my bed and make love to you—when I know damn well your heart is on the line and I can’t unlock it, no matter how much I want to?”
“Roman, that’s not the only thing you want.” My fingers danced across his heart. I rested my palm on it and felt the steady thrum. I could read it clearly. “You want me to be happy. You want me to love.”
“I want all those things for you, but I can’t give them to you.”
He could. But I had no idea how to make that happen.
“Well, I’m happy right now with you.”
“But—”
I pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him. His breath warmed my skin.
“No more excuses for why we can’t be together.
We’ve tried all the other things, and none of them has worked.
So, I’m going to be with you. I don’t know what the full moon will bring.
But if I end up not knowing who I am, I’m at least going to be me while I can.
And I feel more like myself when I’m with you, and I know you feel the same way. ”
His eyes burned into mine, torn and desperate.
“Jupiter help me, I do.”
He pulled me flush against him, his chest hard and warm beneath my palms. For a heartbeat, he just stared at me, his breath uneven, his eyes playing between caution and hunger.
The world seemed to hold its breath with him.
Then his thumb brushed my jaw, tilting my face up, and his lips hovered—so close I could taste the promise of him.
When he finally kissed me, it wasn’t gentle. It was hungry, desperate, like he’d been holding back for centuries. His mouth claimed mine, heat flooding through me, my heart flickering against its cage as if it wanted to break free.
I melted into him, fingers curling into his hair, his arms tightening around me until there was no space left, no air, no doubt.
When he pulled back, just barely, his forehead rested against mine. Our breaths mingled, shaky and perfectly.
“Demi,” he whispered, as if my name itself were sacred to him. His breath brushed my lips tenderly. “I love you.”
Tears slipped free, and I let them. For tonight, that was all that mattered. His arms tightened around me, steady and unyielding, as if he could hold me together when my very existence was threatening to fall apart.
And maybe—just maybe—in the coming days, those beautiful words would be enough to unlock my heart.