CHAPTER FORTY TRACE
CHAPTER FORTY
TRACE
I was in the back lot, waiting.
It’d been thirty minutes.
“Should we go?”
I checked my phone. She’d not responded to my last text, asking if she was coming out. “Let’s wait.”
We waited another twenty before the back door opened and she came out. She stopped, seeing my vehicle, and put her hands in her pockets. She stared at the door. My windows were tinted, but she was looking right at me, as if she could see me.
God.
She was hurting.
Everything in me wanted to open the door and go to her. I wanted to hold her.
I wanted her to come into the vehicle.
I wanted to give her a ride home. I wanted to give her a ride home every night.
I wanted it all, but it was happening.
She was letting me in, slowly, so slowly, but it was still happening.
Now Remmi—I couldn’t think about that. Not yet.
I just wanted Jess.
I was starting to will her to come, and the door opened.
She slid in, like the other night.
She didn’t turn to me, just stared straight ahead, and then she closed her eyes.
She slumped forward.
“Jess?”
She jerked back up and twisted to me. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Holy—women. The whiplash. I had to blink a little bit. “About what?”
“About our parents. My mom! Your mom. Trace ...” A deep sob choked out. She was frowning, shaking her head. “Is it true? Please, tell me it’s not. My mom—God.”
I opened my mouth, closed it, and frowned.
Then I went with the truth. “I have no idea, but this is what I’m going to say: my mother was sick long before my father had an affair.
If he had one with your mother, I wouldn’t be surprised.
I don’t know your mother’s stance on fidelity, but my dad didn’t have one.
Still doesn’t. He screws strippers, secretaries, assistants, cooks.
Your father worked with mine. I do not know the relationship, but I will after tonight.
I was in college when that happened. What I can tell you is that my mother did not kill herself because of your mother. ”
“Ashton said it. He stated that your mother killed herself because of my mother. He said it like it was fact.”
“He was telling you the reason in Remmi’s eyes, not the truth.”
“How do you know that?”
My lips twitched because how could I explain my best friend to her? “Because he’s my best friend. He said it that way to you for two reasons. One, because that’s what Remmi thinks, and the second is a dig at you. You’re a cop.” I put it more simply. “You are the enemy.”
“Why are you so calm about this? If this is true, it’s huge.”
My lips twitched again. “Because I know my dad. I know my mom. I’ve read files on your mom, and I’ve seen her picture.
She’s a good-looking woman. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that your mom and my dad crossed paths, and I can see why my father would be attracted to your mother.
She’s a beautiful woman, still is, and I’m rather obsessed with her daughter.
You do have some resemblance to your mom. ”
She groaned. “You’re saying you and your dad have similar tastes in women?”
I was trying not to laugh, but this was the only connection I would admit to regarding my father.
“You are stunning. Your mother is beautiful. I’m just saying I couldn’t fault him for being attracted to your mother, if that was the case.
Anything else, no. I have learned long ago to separate myself from my father’s transgressions with women, gambling, anything.
He’s a disappointment as a person and even more so as a father.
If my sister wants to put her anger on you, she’s mistaken to do that, and she’ll be handled, but also, that tells me she’s not reached the level of disillusionment that I have with him. ”
“You’re being very ... forthright about this all.”
My lips thinned because this was an easy choice. “He’s a father by blood, but that’s it. I have more emotion about a trash can than I do about him.”
Her eyes were shining, but I didn’t think it was from happiness. An unshed emotion was there. I got a glimpse before she turned her head away again.
She murmured, “I should go.”
“Stay.” I said it quietly.
“Why, Trace?” Her voice broke, hitching on an emotion. “We are literally getting every roadblock thrust in front of us, and where are we? Still here. Still in this vehicle together. We are insane. This is the definition.”
Probably. “A ride, Jess. That’s it. I would like to give you a ride home, and if you want, I’ll bring you back to get your car tomorrow.”
“But why?” she whispered, her head bending down.
“I just want to spend time with you. That’s all. A ride ... it’s extended time with you in a closed-off shelter from the rest of the world. I get you for this little escape, and I’ll take it every fucking day if you’ll give it to me.”
She turned to me, tears in her eyes, and her lips parted. She blinked, still staring at me, but something cleared in her gaze, and she nodded.
Relief broke free in my chest.
I leaned back in my chair, settling in. “We can go.”
The SUV started forward as Jess moved, her arm falling to rest in the seat between us. It grazed mine, and looking down, I saw her hand was half turned toward mine. I glanced up, seeing she was watching me, and as a small smile toyed at her lips, I lifted my hand and took hers.
I held her hand the entire drive to her place.
When we parked, she stared at me long and hard. She took her keys. “Thank you for the ride.”
“Could I give you a ride tomorrow to get your car?”
She paused, but before she got out, she nodded.
I would get to hold her hand again.