CHAPTER ELEVEN
JAKE
I caught my reflection in the foggy mirror. I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt so good that it was hard to hold back. The brightness in my eyes was nice and the little thrill shooting through my system let me know I wasn’t hopeless. I actually liked the person staring back at me.
In nothing but a towel around my hips, I peeked into the hallway. When I was sure no one was around, I rushed to my apartment and locked the door behind me. I hated taking showers in the community bathroom, but at least the water was warm. And after last night, I needed a good scrubbing.
As the memory of Gabriel talking me into an intense orgasm rose, I closed my eyes.
It had been heart-pounding at first, but as he’d promised, he had a wicked tongue.
Before long, I didn’t care about anything but coming.
And the sounds he’d made as he’d climaxed?
Wild. Feral. I’d held back most of my reactions out of modesty.
How would I ever survive actual sex with him?
Afterward, I’d fallen asleep with the phone pressed to my ear, the remains of the orgasm drying on my skin.
I’d never felt so comfortable with another person before.
I set my bottle of shampoo and bar of soap by the kitchen sink, my mind a haze of lust. I wanted to do it again. Tonight maybe. For the first time in an awfully long while, I felt like a sexual being.
I found myself in front of my dresser and rifled around for my underwear.
My fingers slid across the lace, and I swallowed a lump.
The stark pink of the garment jumped out at me, the floral lacework both nice to look at and touch.
Heat rushed to my head, clouding my vision.
It had been months since I’d worn the women’s panties.
I wondered how—if ever—I could tell Gabriel about my dirty secret.
My heart hammering, I grabbed a pair of boxers and closed the drawer, putting the panties out of my mind.
I needed to get my head straight. Today was trick-or-treating day with the kids and I did not need to be thinking about lingerie.
I went through the rounds of grooming and found myself smiling again.
Life suddenly looked brighter. I threw on the pair of jogging pants I purposely destroyed and a ketchup-stained sweater over a long sleeve T-shirt.
I did a final check to make sure I had everything and headed over to Maria’s apartment.
She was already gone for work and the kids were at the kitchen table, getting ready. Jazmine was adorable in her pink princess costume and Manny was rocking the homemade robot get-up created from foil-covered cardboard boxes.
As soon as Manny spotted me, his face lit up. “Hurry up, Jake!”
I laughed as he took me by his hand and led me over to a chair. It was nice seeing the kids so happy. I knew all too well how miserable life could be living in poverty.
As they painted gore on my face, I wished I’d had someone to take me trick-or-treating when I was young.
It hadn’t occurred to me before that this was my first-time collecting candy properly.
As a kid, I’d been stuck inside a ramshackle apartment with dirty clothes, waiting for Mom to come home so I could eat the scraps of food she brought back with her.
Candy had been a luxury provided through a five-finger-discount and Aunt Gracie.
We left the housing complex at a quarter after noon, Jaz and Manny’s voices lifting my spirit. Today is all good thoughts.
“Hold on!” I shouted and dug in my pocket for my phone. “I promised your Mom I’d get plenty of pictures.”
The kids backtracked and lined up on the steps so I could snap a few photos. They posed, their expressions nothing but joy. I was so glad they had a mother that loved them, and I felt blessed to be a part of their lives.
“You have to take one too, Jake!” Manny shouted.
“Oh, um… Okay.” I awkwardly inserted myself between them and did my best to snap a selfie. The picture made me look like a dork, but it would have to do. Without thinking, I sent it over to Gabriel. I hadn’t heard from him this morning, but figured he was busy working.
“Alright, everyone remember the rules?”
“Stay together,” Jazmine chimed in.
“Jake is the boss,” Manny added, his sister nodding. “And hold hands when crossing the street.”
“And do not eat all the candy in one day,” I said with the best stern voice I could muster.
The kids simply laughed, and I led them toward a better part of the neighborhood.
Endless shops lined the block, creating a kind of gray area where the outskirts of downtown met the beginnings of the impoverished west side.
Children and their parents were out and about, collecting candy and enjoying the day.
It wasn’t long before Manny and Jazmine filled up their bags with treats.
“Let’s take a break and get something to eat,” I suggested.
“But we have something to eat,” Jazmine said, holding up her bulging candy bag.
“We can’t eat candy for lunch,” Manny countered. “Mom will be mad, right, Jake?”
“Yeah, that’s not a good idea.” I followed his lead. The boy was a great big brother. “Besides, you don’t want to get a stomachache from all the sugar, do you? How about we get something to eat and afterward you can have a piece of candy?”
“Okay,” the girl said.
We stopped at a grill, and I got the kids hotdogs, fries, and some chicken fingers for myself.
I made sure to take a few pictures of us enjoying our meal for Maria.
As they devoured their lunch, I checked my phone, surprised to find I had missed a text from Gabriel.
A smile forced its way into my face as I read the message.
Gabriel: How adorbz! They look like they are having so much fun. And you look good enough to eat(brains). Nom, Nom, Nom.
He was pure sunshine and exactly what I needed and craved. I thought about what we might do tomorrow. I’d never been to a Halloween party but didn’t know of any happening and wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with the crowd. A haunted house? It would give me an excuse to seek Gabriel’s protection.
“Make sure we throw all our garbage out,” Manny instructed his sister as he helped gather our trash. “We don’t want to leave a big mess.”
By the time we got back to the apartment complex, it was almost four and the evening was winding down for trick-or-treating.
It was hard to believe time had gone by so quickly, but as I followed the kids upstairs to their place, I was sure I’d come up with the perfect place to take Gabriel tomorrow.
I helped them get cleaned up and put their candy in bowls.
Manny made three piles of a mix of chocolates and fruit-flavored morsels, explaining to Jazmine that the third pile was for me.
I was tempted to pass on the empty calories, but I didn’t have the heart to deny them as Jazmine offered me a grocery bag of candy.
“Thanks, Jaz. Did you have fun?” I asked.
The little girl jumped up and down and cheered.
“What’s that I hear?” Maria said as she walked through the front door.
“Mom!” The kids shouted in unison and rushed to greet her. She hugged them tightly. “Did you guys get a lot of candy?”
“Yeah!” Jazmine exclaimed. “Mom, there were lots of princesses today. The lady at the hotdog place was dressed like a princess too and she had sparkly shoes! Can I have sparkly shoes for next year?
“Maybe,” I said. “But you were the cutest princess.”
She beamed at me and tugged at her mother’s shirt. “Come see all the candy we got. We made three piles and gave Jake one.”
“We gave Jake the best ones,” Manny said.
“That’s a good idea,” Maria said and tossed me a wink. “I wish I could have been there.”
“I got lots of pictures. I’ll text them to you,” I said. The warm rush of excitement was nice, and I knew it was more than being around the kids.
Maria looked at the giant bowl of candy on the table with apprehension. “Wow, that is a lot.”
“They had a few pieces after lunch,” I said, noting the jingle of my phone. “We got hotdogs.”
“Lunch! I’m so sorry, I didn’t think. I should have left you some cash.” She made a move to dig her wallet out of her purse.
“No, it’s not a big deal.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Besides,” I said and held up my share of the candy. “I’ve got my weight in chocolate.”
Maria laughed and the sound was lovely. I was so glad I could help her out. She worked so hard and was truly a great Mom, the kind I wished I’d had.
“Well, I’ll make dinner sometime next week, how about that?”
“Sounds good. You’re a great cook. Homemade meals are the best.”
“Yeah, and we will help, right Jaz?” Manny said.
The little girl nodded.
“Okay well, don’t forget to put your costumes away. We don’t want them getting damaged.” When the kids had gone into their tiny corner of a bedroom, Maria turned to me. She touched my arm softly. “You look great.”
“Oh,” I muttered, completely forgetting about all the make-up. “They did it. Looks like you might have your own artists on your hands.”
“I mean it. And thank you for taking them today. It means the world to me…and them,” she said, passing a sorrowful look toward the kids. “I wish I could be home more often.”
“They know you’re doing your best.”
Maria smiled vibrantly. “Luckily, we’ve got you. I don’t know what I’d do without you. My parents are great, but they’re getting up there. I owe you big time.”
“No, you don’t. Like I said before, I like hanging out with them,” I said honestly. She took a step forward, blocking me against the kitchen table. Her lashes dropped, something dark shining in her eyes. “I should—”
“I’m glad you enjoy spending time with them. You’re a great role model. I think we should grab coffee sometime. What do you think?”
My guts tumbled as she came closer. She touched my arm again. The pressure was nice but misdirected. This was what I’d wanted to avoid. It didn’t help that I’d inadvertently led her on all this time.
“Maria… I…”